Also I've been writing a lot. I wrote his last night:
My eyes are heavy, my body is weak. Coming home after being in the hospital in a coma for two months, and now, attempting to recover from severe memory loss, will make anyone fight to stay awake. I was told by my doctor the best way to recover lost memory was through sleep. I suppose what I do now is fall asleep...again. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll just stay asleep. I closed my eyes and begin to drift, my body began to feel like I was laying on a piece of drift wood as the current moved me deeper...and deeper.
Finally I awoke on a beach. I looked up and winced as the bright sun kissed my face. I sat up to look for some water to wash my sand covered face. Sitting upright and brushing my self-off I paused. Through squinting eyes, I saw a girl running along the beach, waves stroking her feet and up her legs. She was beautiful. Her dark hair, her soft skin and flirty method of movement had me tranced. She continued on her route and smiled softly as she passed by me. She seemed familiar to me, but only as familiar as a childhood memory; a restaurant you knew as a kid, or a toy you'd all but forgotten. I've felt these same feelings before, déjà vu or something like that. But I've never experienced anything like this. Not like her. My heart pounded in my chest as adrenaline surged through my veins. Anxious, I sat for awhile, pushing rocks around with a broken twig I had found next to an abandoned beer bottle. I was dwelling on the idea of "who could this girl be?" Just then like a strobe light in the dark, flashes and flashes of memories came pouring in. I grabbed my hair as a dull pain moved from the back to the front, like ice water being poured over my head.
I scrambled to my feet to find this woman, to find my wife. It was her, I knew it was her. I've seen that smile, I felt that skin. Trying to run full sprint down the sand bar and stumbling every other step, I finally caught up with her. When I found her she was facing the ocean, standing at the peak of a rockery overlooking the vast body of water. 150 feet below her, waves violently crashed and roared, spitting salt water into the air as the ocean exhaled into the coastal bluff. She looked like a photo. Standing there softly, breathing, and thinking.
I slowly walked up to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. She turned to me---paused---and then gasped into a desperate smile. She pulled me close and started crying, her entire body convulsing with emotion. I gently pushed her away and said "What's wrong Jo? Why are you so sad. I'm here, I'm here now. I'm sorry I forgot you." Wiping her face and sniffling, Jo smiled and looked me in the eyes. Jo opened her mouth and spoke in the softest way I'd come to know and love. She said "I'm sorry Scott. They can't help. I--I can't help. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the end. But you aren't alone. I'm with you. Come with me. You will never be afraid again." Confused I just stared at Jo. What could she be talking about? It was fine, everything IS fine.
Just then in a sudden numbness my body felt cold and weak. I collapsed to my knees and started blinking slowly. Jo grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her neck and held me up. "Come now Scott, it's time. Be brave," she told me in a sad but soothing voice. She stumbled under my weight, but she slowly dragged me toward the rocky cliff. We stood at the edge for a second peering down into the black abyss. Jo leaned in and kissed my cheek. Speaking bravely she said, "you were never alone." Leaning forward with all her weight we fell...down...and down...and down.
****7:38 AM: Harbor View Hospital****
"He's crashing! He's crashing!" The team of doctors ran into room 103 where car accident victim Scott Tesh had been in a coma for two months fighting a massive cerebral hemorrhage. "The pressure is too great. His body is shutting down. Jo, you need to leave, let go of his hand and step away. He's dying, Jo!" Jo sat next to Scott as he drifted away into the arms of God. Though chaos surrounded them, Jo's ears went deaf as she leaned into Scott, and spoke softly, "you were never alone."
lol
