A semi-funny joke

Iron Warrior

Iron Warrior

Registered User
Joe, John, and Jason thought that grooming pets for the wealthy would be a good business idea so they invested in that. Joe pays for 60% of the costs, John pays 45% and Jason pays 5%. They have a meeting on how to run the business.

Joe names himself the CEO since he owns 60%
John names himself VP of marketing since he owns 45%
Jason asks for an important position so Joe and Jason say "we'll make you the sex consultant since you own 5%"
Jason is mad and says "why am I the sex consultant?"
Joe says "just in case we need your fucking opinion"

Feel free to flame me if this sucks LOL
 
A guy who needs a break from his nagging wife goes to the bar to have a few beers. He looses track of time, and before you know it he;s watsed.

While he is getting roudy, he spills his beer all over his shirt. "Oh no!" he thinks..my wife is going to kill me when she find out Ive been drinking...I was supposed to be shopping for her birthday.

Dont worry, the bartender says. Ive seen this a million time. HEre is what you do...Stick a $20 bill in your shirt pocket and when your wife sees it in the laundry, tell her a waiter spilleda drink on you at a work meeting and to make it up to you, he is taking care of getting cleaned.

Now thats an excellent idea said the drunk. In fact, I think I'll stay and have a few more beers.

The next morning, he wakes up hungover as can be. When his wife sees the beer-stained clothing and the money in the pcoket, he tells her about the waiter and the $20. She then says, yeah but there is $40 in here...And the guy says, Oh yeah, I forgot, someone sh!t in my pants too.
 
chasec said:
ahahhahahhahahah

(to the math, not the joke)
Click to expand...
OMG, I wasn't even trying to be funny on the math, I just flat out didn't add correctly, that's what happens when you attend public schools.
 
Iron Warrior said:
OMG, I wasn't even trying to be funny on the math, I just flat out didn't add correctly, that's what happens when you attend public schools.
Click to expand...
Another product of the California school system. ;)
 
A guy walks into a bar carrying a monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey walks around the bar. The bartender watches as he eats a couple of peanuts, then swallows a pool ball whole. He tells the man that the monkey just ate a pool ball. The man isn’t suprised, and says the monkey eats everything. A few weeks later, the man and monkey walk in again. The man orders a drink, the monkey walks around. The bartender watches as the monkey takes a cherry and shoves it up his ass, pulls it out, then swallows it whole. The bartender asks in disbelief if the owner of the monkey saw that. He said, "yeah, he still eats everything in sight, but after that pool ball, he measures everything first."
 
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