A log with vague goals

[Smont]

I've been riding the struggle buss for a few months now and I gotta get back on track. So with no actual endgoal I'm just going to log my days. I probably won't be interacting a ton unless someone has a question.

Here's some background.

Even tho I got in great shape and maintained it most of last year, I don't believe I made much if any forward progress. My strength and overall size went backwards, most of that happened in the past 2 months. I was taking 75mg of test and some kisspeptin along with some peptide experiments. But also during this time I was barely training, barely sleeping, stressed to the max, crying several times a day (no not low test, I lost my bro and my uncle) stopped eating and lost like 20lbs. Then gained 10 back eating garbage. I did manage to hit the punching bag a few times a week and do some rehab type stuff but that's about it.

I had a big cycle planned, but I'm not worthy of it at the moment. I'm gonna practice what I preach and chill out.

As of this morning I took 200 test and 60 deca and I'm doing that 1x week. That's it until I've shown myself that my food and lifting is on track.

So with no concrete goals, no set meal plan, no set routine, I'm just gonna start going through the motions and log whatever I end up doing.


Today's goal is go to the gym, spend 30min doing boxing related work and follow that up with 30-45min of training 2 body parts or maybe il just do 2-4 total exercises, not sure yet.

 

[Smont]

Yesterday I drove 5.5 hours from Syracuse NY to home, slept a few hours and I've been up since 2am. I had 2 protein granola bars and 4 cups of coffee. For lunch I have a protein shake and a PBJ. Ya I know lol

 

[gphagan1]

You know I’m in on this….I’ve always enjoyed your logs. Go get it bro, you’ve got the knowledge, just do what feels right.

 

[PolishHamm3r77]

I’m down for the ride!!! We all hit a ruff patch now and then. Stay the course you got this!!!

 

[Hyde]

That test & deca will be ramping up over the next 5 weeks…should give you enough time to get into a bit more routine/bring back some more typical diet habits for you.

Hope your daily life improves for you bro - 1 day at a time! We’re here for you. PM me about whatever any time; you know I can talk lol.

 

[Smont]

Gallon of water so far today. I've been slacking on fluids.

Got my workout in, didn't do exactly what I thought I would but close.

Notes:

1. I've been benching on a incline, about 20°, and doing a lot of rehab type stuff. Today I went flat and although it didn't feel heavy, there was something weak feeling in the left shoulder so il go back to the 20°. Overall shoulders feel good.

2. The Flys were all about the stretch and constant tension.

3. Bag work I couldn't go as hard as I wanted too, my hands are a little banged up from a few days ago, beat the bag up bare handed for a few rounds and tore some skin

Next meal was 1 cup pasta and 1/2lb of meatballs I made 50/50 turkey and beef.

I'm at like 120gm protein so I'm gonna go eat a grilled chicken wrap to get another 50gm in. Il probably slug some milk to hit 200.

As lousy as todays food sounded. It was significantly more structured then anything I've been doing lately. Lots of eating out and desserts. Did have this as my last bad meal Sunday night

I'm not gonna eat like that no more but I'm taking my time cleaning up to meat and rice. I'm honestly not ready to eat 100% or even 80%. Il get there.

 

[AwakeningAlpha]

Sorry for your loss @Smont . Youll get back to it in no time. Good for you for taking it slow and easy.

 

[Stopstalking2]

Definitely following along

 

[Stacks1]

1. I've been benching on a incline, about 20°, and doing a lot of rehab type stuff. Today I went flat and although it didn't feel heavy, there was something weak feeling in the left shoulder so il go back to the 20°. Overall shoulders feel good.

I only do 20° bench press over flat bench press. Feels better on my shoulder, feels better on my lower back, and the results are the same... actually better results because of less pressure on my shoulder and back. I wouldn't be surprised if I never do a flat bench press again. Not sure I see why I would.

 

[SkRaw85]

You got this reboot man!

 

[DarkHelix]

Sorry for your loss and here's to getting out of that funk you are in. Let's go get healed mentally, spiritually and physically!!!

 

[LeanEngineer]

In on this for sure!

 

[Smont]

I only bench cus I like to flat bench. That's literally the only reason. For now I'm gonna stay with 20° presses and Flys tho.

 

[Smont]

Works slow for the next week or 2 so I'm gonna try to get extra workouts in. Not going to be killing myself but more just exercising and lifting. Today's plan is moderate weight front squats, deadlifts and chins. Maybe some bag work and IL do some curls after

 

[Smont]

1000cal, 65pro
Gym in about 3 hours then a shake after. I have various tubs of protein that are a quarter full and been hanging around for a while so they gonna get used up.

Ment to take a morning weight and I forgot to but I think I'm 195, gotta remember to do that tomorrow

 

[Hyde]

I appreciate that breakfast, and that you spelled it ‘MENT’

 

[Smont]

I appreciate that breakfast, and that you spelled it ‘MENT’

I'm also thinking about ment and eq for my cycle when the time comes. Replacing deca with trest d and adding eq. I still don't feel like pinning so I'm looking to get the most bang I can out 3cc's 1x week. Not for a while but something like....

100 test
100 trest
500eq.

Today's workout

I did 2 sets of front squats I didn't write down but It was uncomfortable so I did other variations. Deadlifts felt good except my hands and wrists are sore. Skipped the heavy bag for that reason as well

 

[Smont]

If anyone has never done zerchers I urge you to try them and put them in your routine for anyone other then a bodybuilder. I guess you can make an argument for a body builder, but I just think there's other exercises that would serve them better. I never put a focus on them but I throw them in a lot. I think IL keep them before squats and try to build them up.

But my reasons for liking zerchers.

They strengthen your whole lower body and your back. Done Correctly it puts you into a very natural rounding of the back and you have a built in safety feature where your elbows can't go low enough to hurt yourself. I feel them painlessly working the The same muscles that I normally feel hurting when I deadlift. They definitely warm me up for squats and deadlifts too.

There challenging on your core and your endurance, bar position makes it a little harder or sometimes very hard to breath but controlling and breathing correctly makes it feel like cardio when the weights get challenging.

It makes you brace your whole body in a way that builds a different type of strength. This is a little BRO-ISH, but, I've wrestled and fought most of my life. Wrestlers and grapplers, mma guys ect have a different kind of strength you can only measure if you lock up with them. Zerchers and farmers walks build that type of strength very well in my opinion.

And finally, if your someone who normally can't hit depth on a barbell squat, you will easily hit depth on zerchers.

Place your hands in a praying position at nose level. Feet slightly wider then shoulder with apart, now squat down till your elbows touch your thighs. Almost anyone can hit depth this way. When you have a barbell in there for zerchers just put your hands into fists and put up your duke's and squat

 

[manifesto]

I weighed myself this morning, fasted, and I'm 230lbs...

I have no clue where I've put that much weight on lol

 

[Anabolic66]

Sorry for your losses man. I know how that **** can affect you.
Lost a brother and a brother inlaw recently myself. I'm at that age now where it happens a lot,
and it just becomes part of normal life unfortunately. (Lots of loss).

But I wish you the best...

Get back to your training, it relieves stress in a major way, makes you feel better, gets some endorphins going.

 

[Smont]

Sorry for your losses man. I know how that **** can affect you.
Lost a brother and a brother inlaw recently myself. I'm at that age now where it happens a lot,
and it just becomes part of normal life unfortunately. (Lots of loss).

But I wish you the best...

Get back to your training, it relieves stress in a major way, makes you feel better, gets some endorphins going.

I've got a lot of family in there 70's so I better get use to it. Sorry to hear that tho. My father has been going to a funeral once a month for the past 2 years it seems like. I don't look forward to that

I weighed myself this morning, fasted, and I'm 230lbs...

I have no clue where I've put that much weight on lol

I did the opposite, I lost 20lbs while getting fatter. It's quite impressive if you think about it lol

 

[PolishHamm3r77]

Would that be a decomp?

 

[Smont]

Would that be a decomp?

Can't be if I lost 20lbs lol, its a cut . Ya know, if my weight stayed the same but I got fatter, it would still Technically be a recomp too lol just not the one I had in mind.

I by no means got horribly out of shape, I don't wanna act like I'm 30% bf. But I probably went from 10%-16% while loosing 15-20lbs. It's a significant amount of negative change to happen in a month or 2. If I flex hard my upper 4 abs pop right out. But to further how dramatically weird it is. How the heck do you loose that much weight and your waist is 1/2 bigger. That seems physically impossible lol

 

[Smont]

Lots of body ache and pains started around that time too. Not injuries. Just sore joints, hands hurt, feel like I slept in a bad position all the time. But also, I feel good in a sense that my muscles have had a decent break and I haven't been going nuts.


Today's a rest day, IL include the days food after I get 2 more meals in

 

[manifesto]

Can't be if I lost 20lbs lol, its a cut . Ya know, if my weight stayed the same but I got fatter, it would still Technically be a recomp too lol just not the one I had in mind.

I by no means got horribly out of shape, I don't wanna act like I'm 30% bf. But I probably went from 10%-16% while loosing 15-20lbs. It's a significant amount of negative change to happen in a month or 2. If I flex hard my upper 4 abs pop right out. But to further how dramatically weird it is. How the heck do you loose that much weight and your waist is 1/2 bigger. That seems physically impossible lol

Were you on TRT the entire time? Any dosages or compounds change at all?

 

[Smont]

Were you on TRT the entire time? Any dosages or compounds change at all?

No I cut my trt in half. But it doesn't matter. You can come off and crash your test completely and if you kept eating and training you still wouldn't do what happened. I've came off for 4 years before, age 30 to 34 and it took about that whole 4 years to "loose my gains" like.. i had probably a 10lb drop when i came off and then over the course of 3-4 years i was back to looking completely normal, this time took 4-8 weeks. Just lifting again the past week or 2 has made a difference, my traps and shoulders always come back fast but they also loose the least

Many days I woke up at 2 or 3 am after 3 or 4 hours of sleep and slugged coffees till 8 or 9 am. Layed on the couch till noon and might have ate some kind of snack or a breakfast sandwich. Ate dinner around 7 and pounded pop tarts or cookies or whatever till bed. That's it. So I was probably consuming 1000 cal a day less then normal, but more then 50% of those cal were sugar and fat.

 

[Smont]

Were you on TRT the entire time? Any dosages or compounds change at all?

No I cut my trt in half. But it doesn't matter. You can come off and crash your test completely and if you kept eating and training you still wouldn't do what happened. I've came off for 4 years before, age 30 to 34 and it took about that whole 4 years to "loose my gains" this took 4-8 weeks.

Many days I woke up at 2 or 3 am after 3 or 4 hours of sleep and slugged coffees till 8 or 9 am. Layed on the couch till noon and might have ate some kind of snack or a breakfast sandwich. Ate dinner around 7 and pounded pop tarts or cookies or whatever till bed. That's it. So I was probably consuming 1000 cal a day less then normal, but more then 50% of those cal were sugar and fat. IL do progress pics in a week or 2. I don't know if I took one looking my worst, probably not lol

 

[Smont]

Were you on TRT the entire time? Any dosages or compounds change at all?

Stress, lazy, and eating total garbage while on 75mg of test and going to the gym 1 or 2 x week

 

[Smont]

Forgot to post some meals yesterday

195.8lbs

 

[gphagan1]

Forgot to post some meals yesterdayView attachment 248731View attachment 248732

195.8lbs

Now that’s some good food porn there.

“Chef Smont”

 

[Smont]

Fell asleep immediately after dinner and woke up at 1am

Similar to the Jan 14th workout. Went back to 20°, added a ohp which I really couldn't breathe on reps 2 and 3. Idk if it was my belt being too high or me just not pressing heavy overhead in a long time but I almost passed out lol. I was fine the second I racked it tho. I felt good all around ecxpt that my hands and wrists are still sore a lot. Probably arthritis lol. Dinner was great, I'd like to say I made the Tika sauce but it's from Costco. Threw it on my chicken and rice

 

[Smont]

Junk is definitely being eliminated so I probably need to eat more clean-ish calories. I'm gonna get back on my overnight oats bowls and probably keep a few PBJ laying around for when I get a sweet tooth. Those 2 things seem to have enough flavor to keep me from diving into the oreos

 

[Smont]

Notes for progression

Bench and Flys I will be adding reps for about 3-4 weeks before adding weight. On OHP I'm gonna back off the 3 rep top set and instead I'm gonna do 3 sets of 6 with 150 and add reps and for triceps I'm going to need to add reps to the krushers and also add a exercise. Gotta dodge my ego for a while lol

 

[LeanEngineer]

Now that’s some good food porn there.

“Chef Smont”

Was about to say the same exact thing. Any log posting food pics has my attention

 

[Smont]

Was about to say the same exact thing. Any log posting food pics has my attention

I've been cooking a lot and I'm not super concerned with being ripped right now so that gives me lots of wiggle room. Long story short IL post lots of food.

 

[Segansational]

Always some good info in your logs @Smont so will be following this one as well. Looks like you've gotten things back on track at least with the clean eats, some good looking meals right there!

 

[Smont]

I definitely get some kind of photography award for that first Pic . I had this post workout, I been making fancy coffees to get a hint of sweet or just something different as I've been pounding coffee. Too much. No other stims of any sort tho.

The odd looking sets over the first few exercises are kinda just me being bored and creative. I'm using the front squat specifically as warm ups, the zerchers are warm ups but I'm trying to add 5 lbs a session to the heavier set. There all kinda warm ups for my 20 rep squats that I'm trying to add 5lbs each session, and the deadlifts are heavy enough for a challenge but not horribly taxing, yet. I'm sure after 10 weeks of adding 5 lbs a session things are gonna get rough. 205×10lb zerchers followed by a 245lb 20 rep squat and finishing off with 365x5 squats is gonna be a lot so I'm sure IL need to separate **** eventually. For now I'm looking forward to the work load building and I'm already itching to take **** lol. I'm gonna wait about 3 weeks and revisit the idea

 

[PolishHamm3r77]

You rebound better than Wilt Chamberlain!!!

 

[Smont]

Looks like I'm gonna alternate these 2 workouts for a while as well, so the first real plan I guess is to be back to 100% by my B-day in 8 weeks. Feel good/look good on my 40th is kinda important I guess.

Chicken sausages peppers and onions, I made some egg noodles and tossed it together with a 1/2 cup of red sauce made from last year's garden tomatoes. I housed it before I got a final Pic. I saved 800 calories for poptarts and milk tonight too. . I really wanna lift again tomorrow but I just hit everything in the past 24-48hrs. Soooo......

I'm gonna do some very high rep fluff for delts and arms and IL do some cardio after. Maybe on the bag or maybe the bike

 

[Hyde]

I like the very controlled weight progression and just driving volume primarily initially. That’s been successful for me coming back from various tweaks. Just get the body used to training things and drive capacity up, but give connective tissue time to adapt to loads.

 

[LeanEngineer]

I saved 800 calories for poptarts and milk tonight too.

Did you stock up on the red 3 pop tarts before they are modified/banned?!

 

[Smont]

Did you stock up on the red 3 pop tarts before they are modified/banned?!

No but I noticed there was no strawberry or cherry. I ended up with a generic brand "chocolate fudge" and oh boy

 

[manifesto]

@Smont you still smoking a little herb from time to time? I just got on the indica game

 

[akboom87]

Looks like I'm gonna alternate these 2 workouts for a while as well, so the first real plan I guess is to be back to 100% by my B-day in 8 weeks. Feel good/look good on my 40th is kinda important I guess.View attachment 248783

Chicken sausages peppers and onions, I made some egg noodles and tossed it together with a 1/2 cup of red sauce made from last year's garden tomatoes. I housed it before I got a final Pic. I saved 800 calories for poptarts and milk tonight too. . I really wanna lift again tomorrow but I just hit everything in the past 24-48hrs. Soooo......

I'm gonna do some very high rep fluff for delts and arms and IL do some cardio after. Maybe on the bag or maybe the bike

That looks delicious and love the cast iron! That’s about all we cook with anymore.

 

[Smont]

@Smont you still smoking a little herb from time to time? I just got on the indica game

 

[Smont]

@Smont you still smoking a little herb from time to time? I just got on the indica game

I grew about 5 lbs end of last year. I royally fucked up half of my cure tho. From the time my bro died till about the 3rd week of December I was in a daze and I forgot about half my stuff. Over dried some really nice indica buds. I saved them but there a little on the harsh side and I lost a half pound of haze to mold. .

Sucks because these were really good. Screwing up the cure made them a little less smooth and changes the smell. I'm guessing from the terpene loss. They still get ya plenty high tho . I've been giving most of this one away to friends

Just a clarify.I threw the moldy stuff out.I'm gifting away a lot of the stuff that was overdried

 

[Smont]

Even over dried they have a lot of crystals and create a lot of keif. I should probably make hash

 

[Smont]

That looks delicious and love the cast iron! That’s about all we cook with anymore.

Ya it use a lot of cast iron, cast iron, grill or bake for all my meat. But mostly cast

 

[SkRaw85]

[emoji[emoji6]][emoji[emoji6][emoji6]][emoji[emoji6]][emoji[emoji6]][emoji[emoji6][emoji6]]" data-quote="Smont" data-source="post: 0" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch">

Even over dried they have a lot of crystals and create a lot of keif. I should probably make hash

I’ve been saving super fine keef from my grinder for a few years now. Should be some really good CBG content in that bad girl! I made a block of butter last night, can’t wait to try it. Has probably [emoji6] grams of sieve keef and just looks dank.

 

[SkRaw85]

Potsta Alfredo on the menu tonight.