Goodbye my friend

SFreed

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Received word this morning going that a close friend of mine decided to end his life last night. Gary came from a broken home and worked for me after he gradusted high school. He was a good kid, that really just needed some guidance and discipline. He was about 25 younger than me, and we had almost a Father / Son relationship. At 22, he decided to join the USMC, which I endorsed wholeheartedly. Fast forward 8 years later and after multiple deployments, he has decided to leave the military. Long story short, he came home broken. Outwardly he was fine, but inside he was struggling with things he had done and seen. I had talked to him several times, made trips to his hometown, and took him hiking, camping, basically anything he wanted to do. He called me Saturday and thanked me for being there for him when he was younger and how much our friendship had meant to him. I didn't like the sound of the conversation, and I tried to get him to meet me somewhere Monday, but he told me he was headed up to some friends for a few days. I told him I was going to be at his place this Saturday and we'd head out somewhere. He said he would call me when he got back home. That was the last I heard
Until his Mom called me today.
I don't normally post a lot, and I'm not really sure why I'm doing this, other than to just tell somebody. I feel like I should have done more. I should have made the 3 hour drive to his house Saturday. I should have made him promise he wasn't going to do anything rash.
So long gone Gary. I hope you find the peace you need, and I'll see you again.
 
Alpha1a

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Sorry to hear that man , condolences. Stay strong , prayers for yourself and all family and friends
 
SFreed

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I think I'm gonna take a few days away from the forums. This hit me harder than I would have imagined.
 

omega_spartan

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Sorry for your loss brother. It sounds like you had a hugely positive impact in his life. PTSD is a monster that many cant tame. Stay strong!
 
Brandinooooo

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Sorry to hear that bro. Hope you can work it out.
 
RegisterJr

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Sorry for your loss.
 
smith_69

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Received word this morning going that a close friend of mine decided to end his life last night. Gary came from a broken home and worked for me after he gradusted high school. He was a good kid, that really just needed some guidance and discipline. He was about 25 younger than me, and we had almost a Father / Son relationship. At 22, he decided to join the USMC, which I endorsed wholeheartedly. Fast forward 8 years later and after multiple deployments, he has decided to leave the military. Long story short, he came home broken. Outwardly he was fine, but inside he was struggling with things he had done and seen. I had talked to him several times, made trips to his hometown, and took him hiking, camping, basically anything he wanted to do. He called me Saturday and thanked me for being there for him when he was younger and how much our friendship had meant to him. I didn't like the sound of the conversation, and I tried to get him to meet me somewhere Monday, but he told me he was headed up to some friends for a few days. I told him I was going to be at his place this Saturday and we'd head out somewhere. He said he would call me when he got back home. That was the last I heard
Until his Mom called me today.
I don't normally post a lot, and I'm not really sure why I'm doing this, other than to just tell somebody. I feel like I should have done more. I should have made the 3 hour drive to his house Saturday. I should have made him promise he wasn't going to do anything rash.
So long gone Gary. I hope you find the peace you need, and I'll see you again.
im sorry to hear this and my wifes best friend daughter hung herself on 1/24 and they took her off life support on 1/25. she was 13 years old. my wife was close with her and i knew her for over 7 years.
my wife isnt over this by any means, she was like a daughter.

this hit all of us hard and still even now, brings tears to my eyes.

we never understand why or the reasons people decide to take themselves away from us or what causes them so much pain that they need to be released from it.

i sympathize with you my brother and if its just to shoot the sh*t, pm me, just please dont hesitate to ask.
 
ChocolateClen

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I've lost 2 friends now because of this. If you ever need any help getting through this man just hit me up and we can talk.
 
Hyde

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In a week it will be one year since my best buddy shot himself. 26, 6 figure job on the west coast he loved (first job he said he ever looked forward to daily), was going to be married in a month to his gf and best friend of 8 years. Even with everything on paper making sense, everything on the inside wasn't okay. He kept it so hidden only his fiancé even had a clue he struggled with suicidal thoughts. If a guy like that can break, with everything on the outside looking swell, how much heavier could it have been for a Marine that was battle-scarred? Everyone processes things different, and everyone's threshold for what they will take is relative to them.

Point being you can't blame yourself - these tragedies can just happen. It wasn't my buddy's fiancé's fault; it wasn't his family or friends' fault. It was a decision he made. I miss him every day, but I try to appreciate all the great memories we made instead of wondering why he left us. You can never make full sense of it, only make peace with it.
 
SFreed

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Thanks guys. I wouldn't normally post something like this, but it hit me pretty hard. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. He really ended up being another son to my wife and I. When he graduated from MCRD San Diego, my wife and I flew out to San Diego for the ceremony. When my daughter graduated from SOI at Camp Geiger, he was stationed at Camp Lejeune and attended also. He was a good kid, who became a good man. I'm proud to have known him. Thanks again.
 
ChocolateClen

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Don't hesitate to ask one of us for help.
 
Brandinooooo

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Thanks guys. I wouldn't normally post something like this, but it hit me pretty hard. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. He really ended up being another son to my wife and I. When he graduated from MCRD San Diego, my wife and I flew out to San Diego for the ceremony. When my daughter graduated from SOI at Camp Geiger, he was stationed at Camp Lejeune and attended also. He was a good kid, who became a good man. I'm proud to have known him. Thanks again.
I understand bro. Its good your able to talk about it. We're here for you bro.
 
FireTitan

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SFreed , I hate the loss, so many of us have been there. But you cant blame yourself at all. If Ive learned anything in my line of work, people who have made their mind up, have done just that. Getting to them just delays it in so many cases. But I can tell you this much, for the young man to have called to tell you what you mean to him, and thank you for it, speaks volumes about you and your time with him. Look at it like this, of you hadnt have stepped in when he was so young, he may never had been successful in life. Keep your head up, remember the time you guys had, and continue to talk to us on AM, when youre ready. Thats what we're here for bro!
 
Aleksandar37

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It's never easy losing somebody but has always seemed harder when it involves suicide. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
 
BoloYeung1

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Sending prayers your way. Sorry for your loss.
 

lstatum1s

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SFreed- I'm sorry man. I can't imagine what you are going through, but don't blame yourself. Your buddy served our nation like a hero and unfortunately lost a mental battle that so many people don't have resources to win. I don't know you personally but you seem like a guy who shouldn't be thinking this is his fault.
 

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