Double standard.

[redline2101]

So i'm out with some people, a few are friends, a few I dont know. We decide to get dinner while were out. For some reason, this fat kid that I dont even know decided to question me. "Your skinny, do you ever eat?" I am skinny at my current weight, however I used to be 130 and have worked pretty damn hard to get where I am now, and am trying very hard to get to a weight i'm comfortable with. Therefore his comment made me mad, so I decided to reply with another question. "Wow your a big guy, you ever stop eating?". Everybody stops laughing at his joke, and now I'm the bad guy. Everybody decides to tell me that its rude and an **** move to make fun of someones weight. It seems like there is a real double standard going in this regard. I'm sure anybody who is or used to be skinny will probably have at least one similar story to tell. So why is it this way?

 

[suncloud]

So i'm out with some people, a few are friends, a few I dont know. We decide to get dinner while were out. For some reason, this fat kid that I dont even know decided to question me. "Your skinny, do you ever eat?" I am skinny at my current weight, however I used to be 130 and have worked pretty damn hard to get where I am now, and am trying very hard to get to a weight i'm comfortable with. Therefore his comment made me mad, so I decided to reply with another question. "Wow your a big guy, you ever stop eating?". Everybody stops laughing at his joke, and now I'm the bad guy. Everybody decides to tell me that its rude and an **** move to make fun of someones weight. It seems like there is a real double standard going in this regard. I'm sure anybody who is or used to be skinny will probably have at least one similar story to tell. So why is it this way?

that's something i would have said way back when i was 120 ish sometimes it feels like all the fat guys want a pity party - like its someone elses fault they got obese, or they got hit by the fat bus - that's why they never saw it coming. i'll never understand it either.

somehow they think us super skinny guys wanted to be that way, when even 10 pounds of fat gain can be a blessing to us.

bottom line is, it boils down to maturity, and any fat person that whines about their "situation" yet won't do anything about it deserves no compassion from me

 

[Red Dog]

^^ this is pretty true -- it really does come down to maturity.

double-standards are bullshit but they're everywhere.. from a social standpoint, calling someone skinny isn't usually taken as a negative remark -- but calling (or insinuating like in your example) someone fat usually is.. i would guess that is probably why people reacted that way to your comment -- he questioned your eating habits and you responded in a way that seems reasonable to me (i wouldn't have said the same thing but that's just because our personalities/social tendencies must be different)..

no worries on this one though -- he put the **** next to the fan, not you.

 

[EasyEJL]

Everybody decides to tell me that its rude and an **** move to make fun of someones weight. It seems like there is a real double standard going in this regard. I'm sure anybody who is or used to be skinny will probably have at least one similar story to tell. So why is it this way?

thats what you should have asked them, and told them that you've worked hard to put on what weight you have, and its no less insulting to you, you skinny little bastard

Actually I now don't really look fat except relatively speaking to a bunch of the guys here. For a 41 year old i'm definitely better than average by far.

 

[Jayhawkk]

that's something i would have said way back when i was 120 ish sometimes it feels like all the fat guys want a pity party - like its someone elses fault they got obese, or they got hit by the fat bus - that's why they never saw it coming. i'll never understand it either.

somehow they think us super skinny guys wanted to be that way, when even 10 pounds of fat gain can be a blessing to us.

bottom line is, it boils down to maturity, and any fat person that whines about their "situation" yet won't do anything about it deserves no compassion from me

You do realize you're still talking about a double standard, right? You're saying they want pity and don't know how hard it was to put on that weight etc yet give no nod to the fact some overweight people are in the same boat on the opposite end of things.

Also, most people look at really skinnny people and assume it's a metabolism thing over a lack of working out/eating. Most people look at someone overweight and automatically assume it's them being lazy and/or eating too much. Double standards are all over the place but usually don't get noticed until their effect is felt.

 

[Liquid13]

I was made fun of my entire school career growing up for being skinny. Ironic thing now is... I'm bigger than most of them now. I workout with an obese friend (6'3 310lbs.) and I can lift more on any exercise. That being said, anytime he calls me skinny I get a little fumed, lol. I can't wait for the day when people see me and don't think "skinny", but rather think "muscular". I think I have a good year before that will ever happen.

 

[Minus83]

If you say that everytime you see him you may save his life one day if your insults drive him to try and lose weight.

I think there is definitely a double standard in this regard, for some reason obese people are seen as helpless, while if someone is skinny then its gotta be something they did to themselves.

Its frustrating, i know alot of people on the board where the fat kid in high school, and alot were the skinny kid, the difference is we felt crappy about it, and decided to make a change. Alot of overweight people are fine about it, till they got to be 400+ lbs and then its "oh no! how did this happen?".

In my opinion though, noone has any right to say anything to anyone else, he doesnt have any right to say youre skinny any more than you have the right to call him fat, but id be damned if someone was going to comment on my body and im not gonna return the favor.

 

[suncloud]

You do realize you're still talking about a double standard, right? You're saying they want pity and don't know how hard it was to put on that weight etc yet give no nod to the fact some overweight people are in the same boat on the opposite end of things.

Also, most people look at really skinnny people and assume it's a metabolism thing over a lack of working out/eating. Most people look at someone overweight and automatically assume it's them being lazy and/or eating too much. Double standards are all over the place but usually don't get noticed until their effect is felt.

i've seen those (i dated one in fact), and the rebuke is deserved and noted.

 

[Jayhawkk]

I think in the end it just comes down to respecting other people enough to not insult them when it isn't needed. Especially people that you have no clue on the entire situation and circumstances. Trying to motivate someone to making their life healthier is one thing but not to be confused to making their life healthier as YOU think they should be... However, insults will get insults when thrown in my direction. Don't fire off any if you're not prepared to recieve them as well.

 

[redline2101]

Yea I was mostly venting, it really made me mad, however I do have to say it is a good motivator.

 

[suncloud]

Yea I was mostly venting, it really made me mad, however I do have to say it is a good motivator.

you're getting there brotha. here's a link which hopefully has some new information in it, though you may already know these if you're consistently bulking http://anabolicminds.com/forum/training-forum/99607-gaining-mass-nutshell.html

 

[Irish Cannon]

I hate stupid comments like that. After working really hard to recomp over a few months, and making noticeable changes, some chick told me I looked the same...That was a kick in the nuts. Ya, I had my shirt on and all that so she couldn't tell, but it still hurts.

Fat people don't have souls. Just remember that.

No, just kidding...But really, don't feel bad about your comment. I probably would have said much worse, assuming it was someone I didn't know or had no ties to.

 

[BoyFromAus]

yea the double standard comes because there's a larger number of Obese people. Plus Obesity is always seen as a problem given that it's linked to heart disease, kidney failure, lack of fitness, depression and many other health problems. This is in contrast to skinny being linked to lack of nutrition and undereating.

I used to be a fat guy myself. I'm still a bit fat, but i think with more hard work i'll get ripped soon.

Bottom line, whether the dipsh*t is fat, skinny, tall, small, retarded or whatever, don't let his/her words discourage you. What they say should be used as more fuel for your fire. Because pretty soon you're gonna slap them in their ugly face, when you are ripped.

 

[Minus83]

Thought about this some more, and maybe that guys comment was coming from a place of insecurity, as opposed to trying to down you. Maybe hes jealous of you? There has to be some motivator for him to say that, id think it would come from a place of envy rather than hate, i mean you must have other skinny friends, or is everyone you hang out with overweight? has he said anything like that to them?

I still think there is a double standard at work, and that joking about someone being smaller is still more acceptable than joking about someone being fatter, maybe people just need to mind their own business.

 

[dpfisher]

I hate stupid comments like that. After working really hard to recomp over a few months, and making noticeable changes, some chick told me I looked the same...That was a kick in the nuts. Ya, I had my shirt on and all that so she couldn't tell, but it still hurts.

Yeah people tell me I look the same as I did at 195 with no muscle as I do now, and people call me skinny... get it both ways lol

 

[bolt10]

:lol: i don't wanna sound mean but i probably woulda said the same thing! The difference tho is if it was with my group of friends the second someone says something about you its fair game to get em back...you have some uptight friends! there are some things that are off limit with my friends of course but ur comeback wasn't even that bad..

but i get what Jayhawkk and others are saying cuz i wouldn't just say it to some random person who said it to me(but i doubt id be talking to a random person as well..)

 

[manny1010]

The ones that comment, are usually the ones that are not happy with their look. They always try to make other people feel bad.

 

[Iron Lungz]

You should have kept your mouth shut, waited later in the evening when you are away from everyone's eye, then punched him directly in the throat. That usually eradicates future wise-cracks from happening, and will teach him a lesson in manners.

But yes, there does seem to be a double standard. To be honest with you, it's life; you will have a double standard for everything. Maybe next time (If you don't take my first advice), tell him how hard you have worked to get to where you are now. Maybe he needs someone to help him, and you could be that person. It could have been a simple case of a door-opening comment. He may want help, and looks at you as someone that he wants to look like.

 

[EasyEJL]

You should have kept your mouth shut, waited later in the evening when you are away from everyone's eye, then punched him directly in the throat. That usually eradicates future wise-cracks from happening, and will teach him a lesson in manners.

and might help him eat less, so a win-win the whole way around

 

[Iron Lungz]

and might help him eat less, so a win-win the whole way around

:thumbsup:
My hidden message!

 

[manny1010]

and might help him eat less, so a win-win the whole way around

LMAO!

 

[buuzer0]

Honestly I would have said, "no, I never eat. Ever. That's how i keep my girlish figure." totally deadpan and while taking a bite of my food.

That or I would have said, "of course I eat, but I'm going to go throw up as soon as I'm done". Again, totally deadpan and looking him in the eye.

That, or just ignored him.

Seriously... dumb questions should get dumb answers. I don't think you're wrong for what you said, it was the first thing that came into my mind but I don't know if I would have said it to someone I didn't know. If it were a friend though, a fat joke is gonna fly.

 

[redline2101]

Well the thing is he wasn't a friend with me specifically. And the group of friends I agree is uptight. Iron Lungz, thanks for the advice man, noted for future use. anyways, thanks for the responses thus far, its helpful to see that I'm not the only one that knows what I'm talking about.

 

[Jeremy Brown]

i show no pitty to the obese... why? because nobody showed any to me when i was 5'9 205, 20-ish% BF. i took the initiative to do something about it myself... dropped from 205 to 155 with a ton of cardio, they put on 15 lbs of muscle, currently around 15% BF (dont know exact). if i can do it just like so many others so can they... credit and pity are given where credit and pity are due...

 

[Lacradocious]

People used to make fun of me and call me names for being skinny and I never felt the need to make crass comments to fat people. I don't see any problem with what you said to the guy and wouldn't care what anyone else thinks. If he is gonna run his mouth about how you look, then he's fair game and opened that can of worms on his own.

 

[tlee05]

People used to make fun of me and call me names for being skinny and I never felt the need to make crass comments to fat people. I don't see any problem with what you said to the guy and wouldn't care what anyone else thinks. If he is gonna run his mouth about how you look, then he's fair game and opened that can of worms on his own.

Agreed! :laugh:

 

[Caferacer]

I'm always an ******* with these kinds of things. I probably would have said "yea, but I'm working to change it. Some people aren't happy the way they are and want to change. Others *nod to him* seem to be perfectly happy, *laugh* for better or worse."

Either that or "What, are you getting hungry and sizing me up or something?"