Trick or Treat for LG Sciences Weekly give away in in October.

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    Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

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    Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet
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    Chuck norris makes onions cry

    When chuck makes smashed potatoes he makes the potatoes bleed

    Chuck kicked a shark in the face and as a result the Hammer head shark

    Chuck counted to infinity twice

    Chuck Norris once touched MC Hammer
    The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
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    Chuck Norris is such a badass that when he watched Two Girls One Cup he was eating chocolate pudding the whole time
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    Quote Originally Posted by Young Gotti View Post
    Chuck Norris is such a badass that when he watched Two Girls One Cup he eating chocolate pudding the whole time
    Win
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    The laws of physics obey Chuck Norris.
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    Nice and good original too. This is a great contest and everyone is having a blast. I love it. Keep em coming guys I have my eye on a few of them. Some made me actually made me laugh.

    Remember though some of you are posting way more than 2 a day. Hard for us to know which ones are your submissions and which ones are just you having fun.
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    My GF and I are laughing are asses off at these, awesome submissions .
    If my direct and cynical approach bothers you, just ignore it. I'm just saying what you need to hear ;).
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    My Official two are:

    Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
    The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
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    when life hands Chuck Norris Lemons he makes Orange Juice
    The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
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    Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger are in heaven and they're trying to decide who sits next to God. Vin Diesel said I should be the one because I'm the most fit, Arnold said he should since he is the Governor of California, Then Chuck Norris turned to God and said God get out of my chair!
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    Here are some good ones:

    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevinhy View Post
    Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
    Disgusting but hilarious none the less!
    If my direct and cynical approach bothers you, just ignore it. I'm just saying what you need to hear ;).
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    People often wonder what's underneath chuck Norris's beard- another fist, pow!

    Some people can piss their name in snow, chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete.
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    Chuck Norris is so bad...even muscletech products work for him
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    Quote Originally Posted by joedf View Post
    Chuck Norris is so bad...even muscletech products work for him
    but i thought muscletech used tiny bits of Chuck Norris' skin in all their products
    The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rochabp View Post
    but i thought muscletech used tiny bits of Chuck Norris' skin in all their products
    If that were the case Muscletech would be a trillion dollar company
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrYmAsTeR17 View Post
    If that were the case Muscletech would be a trillion dollar company
    what are you trying to say?.. that muscletech doesnt work?
    The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you do.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rochabp View Post
    what are you trying to say?.. that muscletech doesnt work?
    I never said such thing!
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    Holy crap these are good!
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    Quote Originally Posted by poison View Post
    Holy crap these are good!
    I got a couple that literally made me LOL.
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    Angry


    Damn! I have two really good ones but I have to wait till tomorrow!
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    Name:  monkey`.jpg
Views: 86
Size:  26.2 KB
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSox36 View Post
    Name:  monkey`.jpg
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    .....I can't believe I just saw that.....
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    Hope its not to offensive
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSox36 View Post
    Hope its not to offensive
    It may take me a while to recover..i'll get back to you
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    Chuck Norris doesn't take Anadraulic State GT, Anadraulic State GT takes Chuck Norris.
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    When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris!
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    Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin on Windows
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    Oil spills commonly occur when Chuck Norris gets an erection lying face down.

    ^original..to a degree
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    On the 7th day god rested...and Chuck Norris took over.
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    Seriously these are hilarious...its gonna be tough to judge these...
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    People need to step there game up! yep im calling you'll out
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    Sharks have a Chuck Norris week

    Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad
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    NSCA - CSCS
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    death once had a near-chuck norris experience.
    http://anabolicminds.com/forum/supplement-reviews-logs/173268-repthats-logging-adamantium.html#post2832363
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    Quote Originally Posted by tattoopierced1 View Post
    Sharks have a Chuck Norris week

    Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad
    Got to love the Mohammad one!
    If my direct and cynical approach bothers you, just ignore it. I'm just saying what you need to hear ;).
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoSox36 View Post
    Name:  monkey`.jpg
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    LOL, WTF!!! Marilyn Mason of the animal kingdom.
    NSCA - CSCS
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    Chuck Norris isnt hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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