So my girl is moving. dont know how i should feel about this

[NickyNoNames]

yea, Live in New york, on east Long island. and she just got accepted to a school in the city I mean its not to to far. Its like an hour and a half drive from my house, she already lined up a good payin job and a decent apartment. Weve always had some trust issues, escpecially on her part so im really not seeing how this is gona work out for to long. The way are schedules are im only gona get to see her most twice a week.

i mean im happy for her and everyhting, shes finally getting her life together (something i should be doing) were gona try to still make it work somehow but i honestly dont see how it could. idk its probably for the best cause weve known eachother for almost 7 years now, and dated on and off for about 4 of them.. so i guess this will be the real test if this is something real or not.. but idk, i probably just answered my own question already but how would u guys feel about this if u were in my shoes, n what would you do? o yea ladies to.

 

[Sunder]

Well, I think that depends on the 2 of you, how old you both are, and where you are in your life.

I live with my girlfriend, and we've been dating for 5-6 years (with a 1 yr break). She's moving to a city that is an 8 hour drive away to go to school. While it's going to be tough, it is only for 1 year.

I have total and complete trust in her. Whether she should have complete and total trust in me is another question, LoL, but I think she does. I have plenty of things setup to keep me busy/distracted and otherwise pre-occupied and out of trouble.

Honestly, I'm happy that she's going. I need a break, but we're too far into the relationship to have an "offical break". I'd like the break to be shorter, but I think we'll get by. I think this will be a decent "test" to see if we really should spend the rest of our lives together or not.

Then again, I'm also taking Activate and Fenotest right now, and my libido is going crazy...and here I thought my teenage urges were over, and that scares me. I just need to focus on the gym and studying to change careers.

So bottom line is for you: I think it can be done, but it won't be easy.

 

[Sunder]

On a totally unrelated note, for all the ladies on this board and their female friends, I happen to have a spare room available between the months of September to May. The "Naked Tuesday" rule is in effect, but considering the rent is directly proportional to the amount of clothing you wear...:cheers:

LoL, of course I'm only joking...unless you're not...in which case, send pics and we'll talk...ose: ...or not - I really should avoid temptation...please disregard this message:smite:

 

[Cold]

How close are you two? Are there any trust issues between you two? I mean ANY trust issues at all. Is she the type of woman that tends to have more guy friends? Does she tend to get close with her guy friends? If so, I'd be a little skeptical.

But if I could go back and do it all again, I would compromise with her. I'd say that I will not let myself get close with any girls as long as she does the same. Also, I would set up the times when you two can see each other. Try like hell not to make any plans for when you two can spend time with each other. But if she makes plans, tell her that you love her, you trust her, and let her do what she wants as long as she tells you what she's doing, and who's gonna be there. If she's doing something that bothers you in the least bit, let her know. If she gets pissed about it, tell her to flip the scenario around, and ask her what would she think if you did the same thing, especially if she didn't know about it.

How old is she? How committed are you two to each other? Can you picture you two married someday? This is a big decision that you will have to make. I say as long as you love her, and she feels the same, then try to make it work. That's just my opinion. Good luck with this decision.

 

[toughchick401]

I think she is in a different place than you are, you said your self, you should be getting your life together, so do it. She has made her decsion, not that I am saying it;s with out you...I am not....But yeah feel sad your going to miss her.

But this gives you the chance to be a romantic, enjoy the time away, absence makes the heart grow fonder....or so they say.....(((((GOOD LUCK)))))))))

 

[NickyNoNames]

yea everyone is right here.. o btw we are both 24, and its time we get somewhere with our lives.. guess she beat me to it. now its my turn... with or without her

 

[delta314]

Dude, she's only an hour and a half away.....try it with her, if you feel you want to keep this relationship. I drive an hour and a half just to get good seafood....

 

[toughchick401]

Dude, she's only an hour and a half away.....try it with her, if you feel you want to keep this relationship. I drive an hour and a half just to get good seafood....

Agreed,go for it........... only here in Rhode Island it's 45 mins(cause were so small) for the best chowda...LOL

 

[Cold]

My ex and I were only 45 minutes apart. Even though we were not that far apart, it put a hurting on our relationship. If it's gonna work, the both of you are really gonna have to make sacrifices to make it work. You may even lose some friends over it.

 

[jminis]

IF there are already trust issues it's going to get much worse. IMO the forecast does not look good.

 

[kwyckemynd00]

yea, Live in New york, on east Long island. and she just got accepted to a school in the city I mean its not to to far. Its like an hour and a half drive from my house, she already lined up a good payin job and a decent apartment. Weve always had some trust issues, escpecially on her part so im really not seeing how this is gona work out for to long. The way are schedules are im only gona get to see her most twice a week.

i mean im happy for her and everyhting, shes finally getting her life together (something i should be doing) were gona try to still make it work somehow but i honestly dont see how it could. idk its probably for the best cause weve known eachother for almost 7 years now, and dated on and off for about 4 of them.. so i guess this will be the real test if this is something real or not.. but idk, i probably just answered my own question already but how would u guys feel about this if u were in my shoes, n what would you do? o yea ladies to.

Just do youre best. 2x/wk isn't too bad man. I got started with my woman (Mrs. Gimpy!) seeing her 2x/wk AFTER we saw each other every day. It sucked at first, then I got use to it and everythign was good. Only bummer was time on the phone increased exponentially, lol. Just don't let it get to you and it wont' get to her. Eventually, if you two are meant to be together or if you really want it, you'll find out how to make it work between both of you and get on a good schedule again. Just take things one step at at ime and don't dwell on the negative.

 

[BioHazzard]

yea everyone is right here.. o btw we are both 24, and its time we get somewhere with our lives.. guess she beat me to it. now its my turn... with or without her

Feeling down is not going to do squat and sure as hell is not going to win her heart.

Like you said, get your life together. Everybody loves a winner. So, be one.

 

[yeahright]

The real problem here is that she's moving on to a new phase of her life (new job/friends/etc.). She's going to grow as a person, and if you're not, then she's going to grow away from you. If she's got all this exciting new stuff going on in her life and you're stuck in the same old rut she just escaped, it's inevitable that she's going to come to think of you as part of her past. My suggestion is that you get your act together (whatever that looks like to you) so that you're both embarking on new phases of your life. Ideally, you'll have lots of new stuff to share with each other when you do get together but even if you grow apart, at least you'll be making progress on your long-term goals. Before you know it you're going to be 30 and you're going to want to look back and see your growth whether your girl is still at your side or not.

 

[James]

IF there are already trust issues it's going to get much worse. IMO the forecast does not look good.

I tend to agree….. go with your gut.

She may be moving away from you in more ways than one.

 

[BioHazzard]

The real problem here is that she's moving on to a new phase of her life (new job/friends/etc.). She's going to grow as a person, and if you're not, then she's going to grow away from you. If she's got all this exciting new stuff going on in her life and you're stuck in the same old rut she just escaped, it's inevitable that she's going to come to think of you as part of her past. My suggestion is that you get your act together (whatever that looks like to you) so that you're both embarking on new phases of your life. Ideally, you'll have lots of new stuff to share with each other when you do get together but even if you grow apart, at least you'll be making progress on your long-term goals. Before you know it you're going to be 30 and you're going to want to look back and see your growth whether your girl is still at your side or not.

That's just about all there is to it, regarding the situation. No sugar coating there.

I tend to agree with YR on most subjects outside of politics.