How do you feel about dating someone already in a relationship?

[Force of Green]

Any retard can get laid.

Exactly

 

[Irish Cannon]

I've gotten in numerous fights over this on this board. I forget with who.

Let me first say this: I wouldn't ever hook up with a married woman. At that point, she belongs to her husband, and her husband belongs to her; nobody else is allowed in that union.

...however, if I said I wouldn't talk with a girl just because she had a boyfriend, I'd be missing out on a lot of great women. Keep in mind that I'm not doing it for sexual reasons. If I actually like the girl, you really think her having a boyfriend is going to stop me? How many relationships do you know end up in marriage? If she likes you more, she'll break up with the other guy. I've broken up relationships before and never felt bad about it. Most of the time it came down to the woman realizing her boyfriend was a complete loser and she could get better.

 

[Force of Green]

I've gotten in numerous fights over this on this board. I forget with who.

Let me first say this: I wouldn't ever hook up with a married woman. At that point, she belongs to her husband, and her husband belongs to her; nobody else is allowed in that union.

...however, if I said I wouldn't talk with a girl just because she had a boyfriend, I'd be missing out on a lot of great women. Keep in mind that I'm not doing it for sexual reasons. If I actually like the girl, you really think her having a boyfriend is going to stop me? How many relationships do you know end up in marriage? If she likes you more, she'll break up with the other guy. I've broken up relationships before and never felt bad about it. Most of the time it came down to the woman realizing her boyfriend was a complete loser and she could get better.

Either that or she realizes that she wants the thrill of the 'honey moon' phase again, because her relationship settled in and she doesn't like it.

But, either way... I've seen little weasels try and slip themselves in between marriages. It's utter scumbagatry.

 

[bslick69b]

too many bad words so i deleted it!..LOL

 

[Dr Packenwood]

I've had the opportunity several times, and being the other guy is fine as long as you don't go falling in love. Hell, the women are easy to spot at a club. Look for a couple where the guy is talking to everyone at the table, and she's looking around. Let her catch you looking at her, then look away slow enough to show her you wanted her to see you looking.

Do it a few times, maybe let her girl friends see. After a few minutes if shes interested she'll be doing the same to you. Then all it takes is a little nod or gesture for her to follow or meet you somewhere across the club.

I say go for it, because if you don't, someone else will. YOU aren't cheating on her man, she is.

 

[Dr Packenwood]

Either that or she realizes that she wants the thrill of the 'honey moon' phase again, because her relationship settled in and she doesn't like it.

But, either way... I've seen little weasels try and slip themselves in between marriages. It's utter scumbagatry.

Agreed. My previous post is for those NOT married.

And, there is a law called emotional abandonment. If the husband finds you and his wife have 'cheated' he can file a suit against the 2 of you for emotional abandonment. A guy in the news here recently was awarded $100,000 in emotional damages.

Something to think about when ****in the neighbors wife.

 

[dsade]

I've had the opportunity several times, and being the other guy is fine as long as you don't go falling in love. Hell, the women are easy to spot at a club. Look for a couple where the guy is talking to everyone at the table, and she's looking around. Let her catch you looking at her, then look away slow enough to show her you wanted her to see you looking.

Do it a few times, maybe let her girl friends see. After a few minutes if shes interested she'll be doing the same to you. Then all it takes is a little nod or gesture for her to follow or meet you somewhere across the club.

I say go for it, because if you don't, someone else will. YOU aren't cheating on her man, she is.

Sort of a stretch, given your post after this - but since it might clarify somewhat my feeling...

Being part of this is akin to saying "Well, I didn't molest the kid..I just held him down so the other guy could...if I didn't, someone else would have"

Yeah, you didn't directly commit the act, but you damn well know what is taking place, the immorality of it, and you are a participant.


That, or something like "I didn't push the guy over, I just got on my hands and knees behind him while the other guy shoved."


Not the perfect examples, but it would suffice for now.

 

[Dr Packenwood]

Sort of a stretch, given your post after this - but since it might clarify somewhat my feeling...

Being part of this is akin to saying "Well, I didn't molest the kid..I just held him down so the other guy could...if I didn't, someone else would have"

Yeah, you didn't directly commit the act, but you damn well know what is taking place, the immorality of it, and you are a participant.


That, or something like "I didn't push the guy over, I just got on my hands and knees behind him while the other guy shoved."


Not the perfect examples, but it would suffice for now.

LMFAO

I understand and feel you are correct.

 

[mmowry]

At 20yo I met a girl who was in the process of "breaking it off" with her fiance.We got together got married had a child and then she started screwing someone from my wedding party.:jaw:

Lesson learned if they arent faithful when you met them then they wont be when someone else meets them.

BTW did I mention she has also been the single most damaging aspect of my entire life.Far surpassing my previous problems with addiction and the law.

 

[AGELESS]

It seems I heard somewhere that the best revenge for a man that steals your woman.....make him keep her!! ageless

 

[Jayhawkk]

I guess my whole rationale on it is people who cheat aren't worthy of being with me. I understand most of the angles of those in this thread though.

 

[Jayhawkk]

I am a complete believer in: If she's cheating on someone for you then she'll cheat on you for someone.

 

[Irish Cannon]

I am a complete believer in: If she's cheating on someone for you then she'll cheat on you for someone.

I've never had a girl cheat on someone with me and didn't break it off with them immediately. If they held on to their relationship while being with me, then no way would I date them, so in that case I wouldn't be spending time with them anyways.

In other words, I pretty much agree.

 

[Omen]

My scenario: Having sex with an adult woman who wants it and is either married or in a relationship.

Being part of this is akin to saying "Well, I didn't molest the kid..I just held him down so the other guy could...if I didn't, someone else would have"

That is rape, sexual abuse, accessory, sex with a minor..AGAINST THEIR WILL.... wow....not even close....raping a kid is not comparable to having sex with a consensual adult regardless of their marital status.

Yeah, you didn't directly commit the act, but you damn well know what is taking place, the immorality of it, and you are a participant.

Again, not close, I directly committed the act and knew what I was doing, the "immorality of it" too and I kept doing it.....Single guy having sex, not doing anything wrong.....married woman having sex, she's cheating on her husband....not my problem.

That, or something like "I didn't push the guy over, I just got on my hands and knees behind him while the other guy shoved."

Again, assault and battery or aggrevated assault and battery or false imprisonment, etc... are not comparable to having sex with a consensual adult regardless of their marital status.

Life ain't fair and mother nature is a *****.

 

[AGELESS]

It makes perfect sense that a man that marries his mistress, creates a vacancy. Cheating is a way of life for some.....OH ****..my wife's reading this!!! gotta go.....:jaw:

 

[nofx4110]

Agreed. My previous post is for those NOT married.

And, there is a law called emotional abandonment. If the husband finds you and his wife have 'cheated' he can file a suit against the 2 of you for emotional abandonment. A guy in the news here recently was awarded $100,000 in emotional damages.

Something to think about when ****in the neighbors wife.

I think your talking about alienation of affection.

 

[nofx4110]

Again, assault and battery or aggrevated assault and battery or false imprisonment, etc... are not comparable to having sex with a consensual adult regardless of their marital status.

Life ain't fair and mother nature is a *****.

I would rather get my ass kicked get cheated on.

 

[dsade]

.Single guy having sex, not doing anything wrong.....married woman having sex, she's cheating on her husband....not my problem..

Single guy knowingly screwing another man's wife, accessory to fraud and violation of contract - not to mention the dickless cowardly act of stabbing in the back.

Gutless.

Nothing wrong? NOTHING? Are you serious, or braindamaged? Or just sociopathic?

 

[dsade]

That is rape, sexual abuse, accessory, sex with a minor..AGAINST THEIR WILL.... wow....not even close....raping a kid is not comparable to having sex with a consensual adult regardless of their marital status.

Hmm...I guess you and I don't reckon right and wrong the same way...you are committing a despicable, damaging act against an unwilling participant.

Personally (and if you are reading this, I am in no way implying anything here) in my current situation I have spent upwards of $70k and COUNTLESS hours of situations I would just as soon NOT have been a part of - expending untold energy to try to create something quality and lasting. To find out that I was betrayed oh, I don't know, $40k ago and a year of my irreplaceable life ago due to deception, and that some dickless punk played a selfish, willing role in it , somehow deluding himself into believing that he was innocent of any wrongdoing...

This world is ****ed in the head, seriously, if that is ANYTHING less that disgusting behaviour, one that should make it impossibe for you to meet your own eyes in the mirror.

Shame needs to be revived.

 

[hardknock]

None of these comments matter honestly because, i believe, pump has already banged the chick, so his journey begins with

"i have banged this chick that's in a relationship, so now what must I do"

The rest about this or that is worthless at this point.

I've only talked to one chick that was in a relationship, and that was when i was 23 years old and the girl was 19. It was one of those rare situations, you all know the type. She was one of those girls that EVERY guy tried to get but, admittedly, no one could get through the barrier.

She must have turned down guys for 2 years, and these guys all admitted that SHE WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HER BOYFRIEND. Every guy thought it was an impossible task, smart, rich, witty, aggressive, thugs, charismatics, charmers, religious buffs, rappers, singers, weight lifters, clubbers, etc, all failed over time.

When I came along, at the time, I didn't know she had a boyfriend. I never knew until AFTER we had our 3rd date. We continued to date. She told me that she no longer had feelings for her bf, after 4 years. She admitted that she was only dating him to feel "comfortable and secure". We continued on and the opportunity finally came to bang old girl, but I sputtered at the moment and didn't do it. She asked me to spend the night, after a birthday party, but I didn't and made some excuse to go home. From that point on, she never treated me exactly the same way. Also, she never even talked to another guy, and married the original guy after about 3 years.

I do believe that she was one of those girls that really DIDn't know what she wanted and was looking for it in someone such as myself, what ever that was.

There are such women/men out there like this. Those that genuinely do not know what they want to do. If woman in a relationship seemed to be "interested" in me, and she wanted to break things off with her bf to date me, then i wouldn't say it was all that horrid. It would be a decision that she made, ESPECIALLY IF SHE TELLS BOTH GUYS WHAT HER INTENTIONS ARE. If she tells both what she is planning on doing then it's all on the guys involved; she has cleared herself of any responsibility, imo.

Most females date multiple guys before they find THAT ONE special guy. Honestly speaking, half the guys out there are out for bullsh!t anyways. So, i can not condemn a chick for breaking up with some guy in order to date someone else because some of the time it is justified. In those cases where she's just a slut, then all the blame is on the female and the male, if he knows she's playing the field while being in a relationship.

Maybe you've been the type to catch the ONE lady that has only dated YOU in her life and are now married, but that's like 5% of relationships. The lady that I am married to is one of the types that only dated two guys EVER and is 32 years old, and one was me....go figure!!

 

[hardknock]

Also, after that, If i were piston, i would break up with the chick because she has not given any indication that she wants to let her bf know about you two...so, she's dodging and hiding the facts. It would be somewhat different if she told dude, but hiding it, nah!

P.S. If anyone is talking about diseases. There are a plethora of people with AIDS whom have NEVER had sex, so f' that theory.

 

[bslick69b]

Maybe you've been the type to catch the ONE lady that has only dated YOU in her life and are now married, but that's like 5% of relationships. The lady that I am married to is one of the types that only dated two guys EVER and is 32 years old, and one was me....go figure!!

thats prob.the same thing that p.p's friend(the chicks b.f) was thinking.so maybe i should say fcuk your theory too!

 

[malou]

in atlanta its 29 girls for 1 so no i'll pass

 

[hardknock]

Maybe you've been the type to catch the ONE lady that has only dated YOU in her life and are now married, but that's like 5% of relationships. The lady that I am married to is one of the types that only dated two guys EVER and is 32 years old, and one was me....go figure!!

thats prob.the same thing that p.p's friend(the chicks b.f) was thinking.so maybe i should say fcuk your theory too!

You can say, f' the theory until you are blue in the face, guess what though, it still sticks. That can not be proven wrong, PERIOD, no statistics will lie to you on that one. Maybe the 5% is not accurate, but there is a LOW percentage of people who meet someone who has not dated someone else. Your a fool if you believe otherwise.

When you were in HS, chicks flipped flopped back and forth for the duration. Some of these same females have now been married for ages and NEVER even NOTICED ANOTHER MAN. Hell, some have been sluts in HS and then stayed married to the same man for 30 years, some do their dirt in their early 20's and NEVER cheat again.

My point is that people need to quit acting as if their woman has never wanted another d!ck and decided to dump one guy for said d!ck. If you ever ask them, they'll probably say that they haven't. I'd wager a nice sum that 50% are lying.

If PP's friend is thinking that he's the only guy she ever dated or chugged then maybe HE'S THE ONE WITH HIS HEAD AND SPINE UP HIS A$$.

 

[hardknock]

For the record, im not condoning what he's done or is doing, but i say again, don't try and clean up around other people's door when there is str8 shitty foot prints on your welcome mat.

 

[bslick69b]

You can say, f' the theory until you are blue in the face, guess what though, it still sticks. That can not be proven wrong, PERIOD, no statistics will lie to you on that one. Maybe the 5% is not accurate, but there is a LOW percentage of people who meet someone who has not dated someone else. Your a fool if you believe otherwise.

When you were in HS, chicks flipped flopped back and forth for the duration. Some of these same females have now been married for ages and NEVER even NOTICED ANOTHER MAN. Hell, some have been sluts in HS and then stayed married to the same man for 30 years, some do their dirt in their early 20's and NEVER cheat again.

My point is that people need to quit acting as if their woman has never wanted another d!ck and decided to dump one guy for said d!ck. If you ever ask them, they'll probably say that they haven't. I'd wager a nice sum that 50% are lying.

If PP's friend is thinking that he's the only guy she ever dated or chugged then maybe HE'S THE ONE WITH HIS HEAD AND SPINE UP HIS A$$.

do you get out much?

 

[hardknock]

do you get out much?

For the record, im not condoning what he's done or is doing, but i say again, don't try and clean up around other people's door when there is str8 shitty foot prints on your welcome mat!



EDIT
No need for the last sentence, childish for me.

 

[bslick69b]

For the record, im not condoning what he's done or is doing, but i say again, don't try and clean up around other people's door when there is str8 shitty foot prints on your welcome mat!

Obviously, you do not read much either, brah?

was a list of yadda,yadda,yadda,..and thats it,a naive person like yourself belongs here!imo.

 

[bslick69b]

For the record, im not condoning what he's done or is doing, but i say again, don't try and clean up around other people's door when there is str8 shitty foot prints on your welcome mat!

Obviously, you do not read much either, brah?

where did you go? probb.waiting till i get off-line so you could take another cheap shot,come on back ponk a$$..talk all big on the comp.your screen name is what you need,one hardknock!..come in here and think you the siht..pffft!..light weight bay-bay!

 

[hardknock]

People just should not act as if they are holier-than-thou.

Perhaps you do not fit this category, so this is not directed TOWARD you specifically, but the people that it is directed towards know who they are. There's a lot of glass houses around here ... stones anyone?

 

[hardknock]

where did you go? probb.waiting till i get off-line so you could take another cheap shot,come on back ponk a$$..talk all big on the comp.your screen name is what you need,one hardknock!..come in here and think you the siht..pffft!..light weight bay-bay!

:rofl:

i do not have any arguments with you...this is simply a list of statements ....

No one is talking "big". Im talking basic facts my man...

No cheap shots my man...I have no reason to cheap shot you. It's just a discussion.

Why is it that as soon as someone has a difference of outlooks, someone claims foul or cheap shot? It's just a difference in our outlooks...no need for name calling and bs'in.

 

[bslick69b]

People just should not act as if they are holier-than-thou.

Perhaps you do not fit this category, so this is not directed TOWARD you specifically, but the people that it is directed towards know who they are. There's a lot of glass houses around here ... stones anyone?

brah!.you know what my bad!..i apologize to you and everyone on this thread/board..i deleted my post!

 

[pistonpump]

id like to address these two posts before i go on.

I've gotten in numerous fights over this on this board. I forget with who.

Let me first say this: I wouldn't ever hook up with a married woman. neither would i At that point, she belongs to her husband, and her husband belongs to her; nobody else is allowed in that union. its a union under god i respect that he official owns her imo

...however, if I said I wouldn't talk with a girl just because she had a boyfriend, I'd be missing out on a lot of great women. Keep in mind that I'm not doing it for sexual reasons. If I actually like the girl, you really think her having a boyfriend is going to stop me? How many relationships do you know end up in marriage? If she likes you more, she'll break up with the other guy. I've broken up relationships before and never felt bad about it. Most of the time it came down to the woman realizing her boyfriend was a complete loser and she could get better.

I've had the opportunity several times, and being the other guy is fine as long as you don't go falling in love. <--this is what i need to avoid but then again u cant tell your heart what to feel Hell, the women are easy to spot at a club. Look for a couple where the guy is talking to everyone at the table, and she's looking around. Let her catch you looking at her, then look away slow enough to show her you wanted her to see you looking.

Do it a few times, maybe let her girl friends see. After a few minutes if shes interested she'll be doing the same to you. Then all it takes is a little nod or gesture for her to follow or meet you somewhere across the club.

I say go for it, because if you don't, someone else will.YOU aren't cheating on her man, she is. .

i somewhat agree with the last bolded statement but then again that is a way of trying to justify the situation.

So update, this chick ive only known for a week now. i wanted to wait before getting up in it but too late, it happened and i took the oppurtunity sometimes its hard when the other head is awake and determined.

Just to clear things up I dont think its right to do anything with another man's wife. In my eyes its totally different, she may be with him but she doesnt belong to him until she is married. If she decides to look around elsewhere then something is not right at home and at this age (she's 21) with life long commitment a possiblity its only natural to be thinking of what else is out there or am i making the right decision. like hardknock said some girls need to get it out of their system, the majority of females have multiple partners before actually settling down (marriage and full commitment). Im the same way, im not gonna settle if i feel the need to still look. Im completely convinced if i never have to look at another girl or think about what ifs and is she right etc, that that girl im with at the time is the one for me and im ready to have a full commitment but at this time i just dont feel that way. I have gfs that love me to no end but if i feel there is something lacking for me mentally physically emotionally or spiritually i cant sit back at 24yo and settle for something cuz its there and she cares. I have to look at other prospects and widen my scope to find someone im totally 100% satisfied with. The same goes for this chick. She is with this guy and stays because she lives with him and has stability, security. Does that mean her feelings are with him or still searching. When marriage is discussed with the my present situation its is not the same principle at all imo. I dont mind the marrage talks there is good discussion in this thread so type away.

I brought up the boyfriend thing and how it will be a potential problem down the road but she gets upset and we decide to just go with the flow and live in the moment. She feels uncomfortable if i talk about a my ex who i just got out of a relationship with very recently (somewhat still in the picture).

I have to ask what this chick wants from me. It seems she gets sexual excitement, comfort, (the honeymoon stuff), and just a good time. In that case i have to just enjoy her company but keep myself distanced.

Jay said "I am a complete believer in: If she's cheating on someone for you then she'll cheat on you for someone."
Im really trying to hit this home to keep me from getting too emotionally involved but thats not to say my dumbass still wouldnt try just because "im not him" or just that i feel she is really worth the benefiet of the doubt....but, i cant help but agree with the statement that if she did it to her man she would do it to me.

 

[dsade]

Just to clear things up I dont think its right to do anything with another man's wife. In my eyes its totally different, she may be with him but she doesnt belong to him until she is married.

A promise is a promise, and wasted time is wasted time.

If she was clear with him that she was not dating him exclusively, this gives him the freedom to say "You know what, that is not acceptable to me - so I am going to move on and use my time to find someone that IS."

Nope...same situation, same moral apply, IMO.

And yeah, it was brought up that you already slept with her. However, every future opportunity brings that same moral decision - will you commit the same wrong again and again?

 

[ABNRanger]

I think we have arrived at am empass, PP will do what HE wants regardless of what anyone says. I say we can pretty much kill this thread, and move on to something else. PP, I wish you all the best, and good luck. Just remember, a committment is a committment, whether it's marriage or not. If you make the mind set that you are in an exclusive relationship with someone, the same moral rule of infidelity applies. But hey, if you want use semantics to justify what you are doing, and it helps you sleep better at night, then have at it. I conclude by saying, Do unto others as you will have them do unto you.

 

[Irish Cannon]

Piston, I think it's very important to realize that no single person is enough to complete another. You, and her, will ALWAYS have needs that the other partner can't fulfill. That DOESN'T give ANYONE a right to cheat, but those needs sometimes must be met. I find it VERY important for women to have a support structure, more so than men.

I know a lot of you guys don't in any way agree with Biblical scripture, but I'm going to make a point, so suck it up. In talking about marriage, scripture says, ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.” - I find it VERY interesting that it doesn't say a "woman" will leave..It's because their emotional needs MUST be met by family, friends, etc., because no man is completely capable of fulfilling all emotional needs. It's usually much harder for women to make friends than men, so it's important to know that your girlfriend has a solid support structure. You WILL get into arguments, and you don't want her running to some guy she met the other day, which she WILL do if there is no one else for her to run to. A woman's friends are IMPORTANT. They need to be a shove, not a shoulder to cry on. Because sometimes it will be her fault for the argument, and her friends need to be the ones to make her realize that. A true friend won't tell you what you want to hear, they will tell you the truth. She needs to have true friends.

Getting back on track, I don't think there will ever be a time where you won't look at a woman and say, "Wow, she's hot...That would be nice." - We're men, it's going to happen. We're programmed that way; however, at that point, you must realize the importance of the woman you're with. Who she is. The respect she has for you (if she does). There is no one person for everyone, contrary to what Hollywood wants you to believe. You just have to find A right one, and make it work. Everything will not be great all the time, so don't expect it to be.

 

[jakellpet]

thanks for all the responses. yeah i do feel bad cuz i have met the guy and he was really nice to me. it didnt seem like he was paying her much attention so in the midst of being friends things started to escalate. it was at a club etc but i didnt think i would talk to her again but now we talk alot and she's come over a few times. im trying not to develop feelings but its always been a little hard for me. I like this chick but believe me ive been thinking about what goes around comes around, putting myself in his shoes, that she would do it to me, dont get feelings involved etc. She wants to spend every second she can with me and she's bangin bro, hot ass fok man! man im leaning towards pushing this for another month, her bf leaves to cali in a few weeks so its just bang bang bang lol. nah man i know i'll get emotionally involved if i see her too much so i gotta keep the distance. im not worried about the guy, i think should he find out whatever he could dish out i could dish out ten times as bad. i do feel bad but if the guy she is with is doing the same thing then what? she's not married guys so we can stop complicating it with that.

Piston - it's time you wanked in her hair and sent her on her way.

Australian Made - you are a class act mate

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Australian made again.

 

[oxman]

I wouldnt do it...

 

[pistonpump]

well the boyfriend brought it up to her that he has been seeing another girl. they broke it off mutually. i guess they have been fightingin for soo long and arent in love anymore. she said she hasnt been happy in so long etc. it seems like coincidence. i talked with the bf and we set things str8 there is no hard feelings. He just wants her to be happy and he knows he wasnt treating her right. Idk guys im just gonna get to know her more before making a full commitment but she is really good company and likes alot of things i do unlike my last gf so for me at the moment it feels like a better choice. my ex and i would fight all the time compatibility just wasnt there so i also decided to move on. I guess the thread is....dead. Thanks fellahz

 

[Australian made]

well the boyfriend brought it up to her that he has been seeing another girl. they broke it off mutually. i guess they have been fightingin for soo long and arent in love anymore. she said she hasnt been happy in so long etc. it seems like coincidence. i talked with the bf and we set things str8 there is no hard feelings. He just wants her to be happy and he knows he wasnt treating her right. Idk guys im just gonna get to know her more before making a full commitment but she is really good company and likes alot of things i do unlike my last gf so for me at the moment it feels like a better choice. my ex and i would fight all the time compatibility just wasnt there so i also decided to move on. I guess the thread is....dead. Thanks fellahz

you will be dead if you ever mess with my women:duel:

 

[pistonpump]

you will be dead if you ever mess with my women:duel:

you would like it if i messed with your women, you'd be like "yes now i can see what pp's **** tastes like" LMAO!!!! :trout:

 

[Australian made]

there's always one guy who takes things to far :lol:

 

[Matt6969]

i have seen it get to many people in to much trouble to go there.

 

[Kurruptive]

I once had a girl blow me for a little bit before and after I put my penis in her...then she kissed one of my friends..LOL

haha :thumbsup: except acouple years back my ex kissed her father! and he hated my ass, so i guess you could say i made him taste it and he so would have, i hadn't showered that day :lol: