FACEBOOK has been the death of me!

[xtraflossy]

Yeah actually that was it right there. The Rise Guys Morning Show. I don't live in SC, but I listen to it in the morning along with the Russ Par ? something like that.

did the girlfriend know about the wife beforehand?

 

[ReaperX]

did the girlfriend know about the wife beforehand?

No, she found out b/c the wife contacted her...so I guess that makes it sorta innocent.

 

[ReaperX]

Probably in college one of the dumber things that I did was join my fraternity. I know there is this whole stereotypical type of thing that you see in animal house, but in reality it greatly differs from house to house.

Living in I'd hear about the way guys would talk about these girls, and at the same time how degrading it was to them. It was probably a combination of my own ethics and conscience, but this was something that I couldn't be ok with. I know a lot of guys who did have girlfriends did cheat on them as well. I did have a slight bit of sympathy for some of the girls getting used, but then again whose fault is it when you make the same mistake twice.

This really changed my perspective a lot, but it also went to show me what some people are really like. People here think I'm not as audacious as I am in real life, however that is not the truth. When I questioned a lot of what they were doing and tried to rationalized what was going on, of course the 'en masse' didn't quite agree with me, and this put my in a very negative light.....actually even till now and it has been 1 year since I graduated. I don't really know, but I'm sure the reasoning is a combination of peer pressure, immaturity, lack of personal integrity or whatever, but I'm sure it is all of the above.

I think the most challenging part about this is how the women were not seen as 'people' but rather objects which is pretty unfortunate actually.

btw, just for the record this is solely my own experience. I'm not bashing the greek system, or even other chapters of my own house, just only my own house and my own chapter.

 

[xtraflossy]

Probably in college one of the dumber things that I did was join my fraternity. I know there is this whole stereotypical type of thing that you see in animal house, but in reality it greatly differs from house to house.

Living in I'd hear about the way guys would talk about these girls, and at the same time how degrading it was to them. It was probably a combination of my own ethics and conscience, but this was something that I couldn't be ok with. I know a lot of guys who did have girlfriends did cheat on them as well. I did have a slight bit of sympathy for some of the girls getting used, but then again whose fault is it when you make the same mistake twice.

This really changed my perspective a lot, but it also went to show me what some people are really like. People here think I'm not as audacious as I am in real life, however that is not the truth. When I questioned a lot of what they were doing and tried to rationalized what was going on, of course the 'en masse' didn't quite agree with me, and this put my in a very negative light.....actually even till now and it has been 1 year since I graduated. I don't really know, but I'm sure the reasoning is a combination of peer pressure, immaturity, lack of personal integrity or whatever, but I'm sure it is all of the above.

I think the most challenging part about this is how the women were not seen as 'people' but rather objects which is pretty unfortunate actually.

btw, just for the record this is solely my own experience. I'm not bashing the greek system, or even other chapters of my own house, just only my own house and my own chapter.

Interesting though how these guys were still gettin layed though...
Sure enough, do you even think the females asked about if they were with anyone?.. do you think they would have even cared? ..I don't think they would, or at least many wouldn't.
Although actually ASK them, and OF COURSE THEY WOULD HAVE CARED.
... But I look to a womans ACTIONS over her words ,%99 of the time. For GOOD reason.

I found, that when guys, in general, talk badly about women, it's the ones that sleep around, or they ASSUME they do becasue THEY slept with em (Doesnt mean its true though).

The reason, I think, that guys look down upon that, and women look upon that too, is that When a guy tries to be with as many females as he can, he doing what he's supposed to be doing (and biologicly designed for)... Tring to poke as many females as he can.
It's the womans role, to be SELECTIVE about the men she sleeps with. (This is how we evolve and adapt, the women are a steady "constant", while evolutionary changes are made through the males, depending on needs and such). When a woman sleeps with every guy she comes accross, she's basicly going against her natural duty so to speak.

I have no grudges against females, but I too, for reasons that were until recently, unknown to me, would feel some seemingly undeserved negativity towards a woman who I KNEW didn't care, ior would sleep around with seemingly everyone. I would loose my desire to do so if someone told me this as well.

this relates to the question that women commonly ask, yet hardly ever really care about finding the answer to,.. "Why is it a guy can sleep with a bunch of girls, and be a stud, while when a woman does this, she's a whore?"

I really can not attest to any outside influence giving me this feeling, of it somehow being "unattractive", or just "not the way it's supposed to be" type deal.
I mean, yes, uit's portrayed in the media some, and in movies, but that's in reflection to the way it's viewed in real life.

While I TOTALLY HATE those guys who are always " This one slut", or "This one b!tch.." , I think its them making a broad statement, about just their perceptions.
It's not right by any means, but I can at least see where their attitude comes from.

Chances are, who ever they were talking badly about was really a sweet girl ya know.

 

[Nabisco]

ReaperX I think its based off the group of people. I was in a fraternity in college and I can say 90% of the guys in my fraternity were good guys and didn't sleep around on their gfs or just sleep with anything that moved. Then again I knew other fraternity's on campus that were the exact opposite (they eventually got kicked off campus for reasons I can't be bothered to explain).

I think its a mentality thing and how you were raised. I know my parents stressed that you always be open and honest with your significant other. That led to me never cheating on a girlfriend A) Because its wrong and B) Because its happened to me and I know how much it sucks a$$.

I also think there has been a shift in main stream society from monogomy to rampant sexual looseness (for lack of a better word). Slowly standards have evened out so that if men can sleep with multiple people, then women can too. Nothing wrong with that, it used to be a double standard (and still can be sometimes). Just take a look at the most recent data...STDs are on a HUGE climb in the past two years. There were over 1 million reported cases of Clamydia alone in the US this year. The most EVER recorded for an STD, not to mention the rest increased dramatically as well. The reason behind it? The sharp increase in men and women having multiple sexual partners, whether honestly or through cheating.

Welcome to the new world, where chivalry has become a word most young adults don't even know. "Isn't it something to do with knights or something...derrrr". When a generation of people see their parents splitting up 50% of the time, and then typically having multiple marriages, why would you think they'd be any different?

 

[xtraflossy]

...STDs are on a HUGE climb in the past two years. There were over 1 million reported cases of Clamydia alone in the US this year. The most EVER recorded for an STD, not to mention the rest increased dramatically as well. The reason behind it? The sharp increase in men and women having multiple sexual partners, whether honestly or through cheating.

Welcome to the new world, where chivalry has become a word most young adults don't even know. "Isn't it something to do with knights or something...derrrr". When a generation of people see their parents splitting up 50% of the time, and then typically having multiple marriages, why would you think they'd be any different?

lol- I went Radford, maybe THATS why I didn't really sleep around :think:

I also think that parental influences play into this..
As well as the "Gedt a bunch of guys together on their own, with all the freedom, and booze, and drunk women, and you pretty much see where that goes.

I went to a millitary school for 4 years, it was all guys, but you could definately see everyone transform, and talk like/act , well.. degrading towards females.
..When baywatch would come on (lol ) , ..Well, you know how it ca nget whne your living with a group of guys...
(This group was around 400 though)

 

[ReaperX]

Interesting though how these guys were still gettin layed though...
Sure enough, do you even think the females asked about if they were with anyone?.. do you think they would have even cared? ..I don't think they would, or at least many wouldn't.
Although actually ASK them, and OF COURSE THEY WOULD HAVE CARED.
... But I look to a womans ACTIONS over her words ,%99 of the time. For GOOD reason.

I found, that when guys, in general, talk badly about women, it's the ones that sleep around, or they ASSUME they do becasue THEY slept with em (Doesnt mean its true though).

The reason, I think, that guys look down upon that, and women look upon that too, is that When a guy tries to be with as many females as he can, he doing what he's supposed to be doing (and biologicly designed for)... Tring to poke as many females as he can.
It's the womans role, to be SELECTIVE about the men she sleeps with. (This is how we evolve and adapt, the women are a steady "constant", while evolutionary changes are made through the males, depending on needs and such). When a woman sleeps with every guy she comes accross, she's basicly going against her natural duty so to speak.

I have no grudges against females, but I too, for reasons that were until recently, unknown to me, would feel some seemingly undeserved negativity towards a woman who I KNEW didn't care, ior would sleep around with seemingly everyone. I would loose my desire to do so if someone told me this as well.

this relates to the question that women commonly ask, yet hardly ever really care about finding the answer to,.. "Why is it a guy can sleep with a bunch of girls, and be a stud, while when a woman does this, she's a whore?"

I really can not attest to any outside influence giving me this feeling, of it somehow being "unattractive", or just "not the way it's supposed to be" type deal.
I mean, yes, uit's portrayed in the media some, and in movies, but that's in reflection to the way it's viewed in real life.

While I TOTALLY HATE those guys who are always " This one slut", or "This one b!tch.." , I think its them making a broad statement, about just their perceptions.
It's not right by any means, but I can at least see where their attitude comes from.

Chances are, who ever they were talking badly about was really a sweet girl ya know.

It is possible some girls do care. Also too at the same time I find a lot of females contradicting themselves in what they say and what their actions imply. I think I've heard my fair share of women who play the same tune about not being able to find 'the right guy', however they are typically the ones who expect to find the 'right guy' by going to the bars and sleeping with them.

That's gotta make you say 'hm ?'. It appears to me that the technique is all wrong, or maybe they are just in another ploy of daydreaming about a fantasy guy while sleeping around which obviously must be the correct process going about this.



Case in point, my girlfriend's best friend another one was dating this football player. They were both in different colleges, but the guy was actually one of the more sincere straightshooters I've seen ever. For being a football player he was quite humble, and he pretty much bought her whatever. Really the only 'negative' I could see about him was that he was not very bright. Not that this is a stereotypical thing, but he was honestly quite dumb, and certainly dumber than her. Everything else though as far as looks, height, even had a ton of muscle, etc was there.

Well, she cheated on him, actually several instances to the point where he bailed on her for good. It is unfortunate that sometimes people have to lose something in order to appriciate it. She was pretty distraught over it, and even now 8 months later she still is. When I heard that he bailed on her I think I held my own little mini party that she finally got what she deserved. It is too bad too b/c when they'd hang out I'd hang out with him and now that's over. /


I don't like placing blame on men or women because the path goes both ways. I don't even care if people make stupid mistakes in their relationship. Honestly, the thing that irritates me to no end is the self-pity/self-persecution


In the media still it is always the woman that is the victim. Opera, The View, Sex in the City, Dr. Phil,.......


Here's a very discreet one: THE BACHELOR (and shows like it)


wait, wait, wait....WTF Reaper you nutsack that is a guy trying to find a woman !?!?

Yes it is, however, how dramatic do they 'doll it up' when the guy eliminates a woman esp. when it gets down to the final 10 or so.


What really they should be doing is saying 'Hey, yeah that really awesome, rich, handsome guy eliminated you, but how many great guys you met before did you piss away before you got on this show ?'

I'd really like to know that answer. ^^^^^^^

 

[ReaperX]

ReaperX I think its based off the group of people. I was in a fraternity in college and I can say 90% of the guys in my fraternity were good guys and didn't sleep around on their gfs or just sleep with anything that moved. Then again I knew other fraternity's on campus that were the exact opposite (they eventually got kicked off campus for reasons I can't be bothered to explain).

I think its a mentality thing and how you were raised. I know my parents stressed that you always be open and honest with your significant other. That led to me never cheating on a girlfriend A) Because its wrong and B) Because its happened to me and I know how much it sucks a$$.

I also think there has been a shift in main stream society from monogomy to rampant sexual looseness (for lack of a better word). Slowly standards have evened out so that if men can sleep with multiple people, then women can too. Nothing wrong with that, it used to be a double standard (and still can be sometimes). Just take a look at the most recent data...STDs are on a HUGE climb in the past two years. There were over 1 million reported cases of Clamydia alone in the US this year. The most EVER recorded for an STD, not to mention the rest increased dramatically as well. The reason behind it? The sharp increase in men and women having multiple sexual partners, whether honestly or through cheating.

Welcome to the new world, where chivalry has become a word most young adults don't even know. "Isn't it something to do with knights or something...derrrr". When a generation of people see their parents splitting up 50% of the time, and then typically having multiple marriages, why would you think they'd be any different?

This ties into personal integrity, or for some people lack of it. On the other side of the coin, it is because of actions (like the ones that went on in my fraternity) is why women generate the types of attitudes they do and I really don't blame them.

I mentioned this before, but I think the nature of a 'woman' in general vs. a 'man' creates a better probability of a guy meeting the right girl instead of vice versa. This has a spin-off of what flossy was mentioning earlier in terms of 'primative instincts'.

 

[xtraflossy]

Seriously,..

Take this as truth: What a woman says she wasnt's, is NOT ALWAYS WHAT SHE RESPONDS TO.

You see it ALL over the place. Ask her, what do you want in a man? ..
you get funny, smart, nice,.. blah blah blah..

Basicly, they say they want a tame guy, they can control.

In reality, when they meet the "nice guy", most of the time they find there just not attracted to them after 2 weeks.

It's not funny at all that they say and think they want what they do. IT's just the nature of attraction, doesn't givwe a rats ass what they want. Attraction is NOT A CHOICE (lol- google David De'Angelo.. very organized on the biology in attraction.)

Anyways, in the past 3 weeks, I have actually had 3 women (ages 29-33) actually end up telling me that they didn't WANT (here, this is them thinking about what they want) to become involved with me becasue they can't have me wrapped around their finger, like all the other supplicating guys that act like a hot girl is a goddess.

What they don't know (and I didnt bother to show them for my own reasons) is yeah, they were (in their own words) "Sooooo emmensly attracted" ,.. AND, I am NOT AN *******!
But of course, there are assoiciating here;
Attracted; phuck me
Nice; boyfriend material

Of course, they get board with the nice guy n come see me afterwards :lol: ... becasue what they REALLY want, is a man who knows how to NOT become pussy whipped, yet is man enough to treat her like a woman (in EVERY way that is possible)

Basicly, you can as nice as you want to be, but if she doesn't get wet around you and want to jump your bones, you don't have attraction. (neither of this has anything to do with Love- that's totally different, and comes AFTER.)

Anyways,.. thing to take away is people will say what they think theuy want, what they SHOULD want, .... but what they RESPOND to is something totally different.
thus, her words often do not match what her actions will be.
It's NOT lieing at all, it's just your talking to her, her thinking mind responds,.. her actions will be driven often times by feeling, and not rational thought. <-- bad way of putting it, but :nutkick:

 

[ReaperX]

I can't see this link because it is blocked at work, but I think this summarizes what you were saying:


http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/double-your-dating-articles/getti
ng-back-with-exgirlfriend.htm

 

[xtraflossy]

I can't see this link because it is blocked at work, but I think this summarizes what you were saying:


http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/double-your-dating-articles/getti
ng-back-with-exgirlfriend.htm

That's a VERY round about way to get to the link, but yes. Double your dating was something I found years ago. It's actually VERY BASIC, but many interesting chapters on the biology of it all.
I think, at some time, I even posted the freakn thing on HERE :nono:

Double your dating is only one of David's works. there are others. If you limewire it, there are conferences n such.
It also has a focouse to dating, almost an "inner game" thing, self betterment, and I like his methoed of pickup becasue it doesn't involve being an Ahole, and it's fun for everyone.
Anyways, he sites studies, books, research along with his i nthe audio stuff (Its been a few years since I read DYD).
Good stuff though!


Its the ONLY dating advice, and interview series, that litterally goes for HUNDREADS on ebay! (not that I spent that much or any).

But, that's dating, and everything else, and my points are spread throughout a bunch of his writing, conventions, and those of others.
I posted a link here, caleld the Treaty of love, the nenglish translation, and I found it quite interesting too.