Erie peace

[toughchick401]

So someone read my post about what I've been going through and I just decided yesterday that I've had it all my doctors are like you need to get in here ASAP, it's imperative that we see you right away when I go to make appointments the earliest I can get it is April or May what do I need to do to get a G-tube I need to gain weight I can't eat so I can't get away, or I need to see my other G.I. doctor I need to see him because my stomach is inflamed. I have two bleeding ulcers. I have clamps on them now and I also have some abnormal cells on my esophagus so it's imperative I get in there but I can't get in there until May OK so I went to the hospital yesterday and I signed a DNR and I went to my doctor's office and I actually called him and I said Fax me a copy I want a DNR I'm done whatever happens happens you are not to resuscitate me or not to bring me back I just want to be done so it's not even like I'm looking to die it's just I'm tired so whatever happens happens if I get on the table and I make it great if I don't than ok .....it doesn't matter anymore so that's why I'm telling this eerie piece because I've kind of come to this weird spot in my life where I've lost so many friends, even my sister, who is supposed to be the one sticking by my side but nope .....And she's acting like it's four years old and I'm doing something to hurt her I don't understand her way of thinking so we're so different and I feel like she's such a immature little asshole that I just can't even deal with that so I said all right. Well, here's the thing we have a certain subject we can talk about we can talk about your kids, work, The house that I am living in that you're overcharging me, but we can't talk about my health because it just ends up in a huge fight and I'm not willing to do that anymore,I've had a pretty good life. I've helped a lot of people I've done a lot of things I've traveled places I've been in love I have you had my heart broken. I think I've done everything but get married and have kids the kids part is you know too late even though I still could but I'm all set and the getting married part highly overrated. I've decided that my one and only is now married to somebody else and well that's the way it is....... oh well off to work.

 

[skinnybones]

I’m very sorry to read this about you. I just wanna say this we don’t know each other and I love you. Sounds like you need a friend. I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now sweetheart. I hope things get better for you I read your other post also pretty much the same as this one.
I’m not sure what else to say except that I will be your friend and I’m thinking about you.

 

[toughchick401]

I’m very sorry to read this about you. I just wanna say this we don’t know each other and I love you. Sounds like you need a friend. I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now sweetheart. I hope things get better for you I read your other post also pretty much the same as this one.
I’m not sure what else to say except that I will be your friend and I’m thinking about you.

Your sweet. Thank you.

 

[ALX393]

Well coming in here I was not expecting to read something like this but I’m glad that you did because it’s a source of an outlet. When it comes to having siblings and being close to them it can be very difficult unfortunately. I love my older sister, have been close to her my entirely until some few life turn around situations happened she no longer knew how to stay neutral which is when I learned a big lesson. You can’t tell literally everything to family no matter how comfortable you may be. You can’t change the people in your circle, but you can change the people in your circle, get it? Lol. & good to hear that you seem to be at peace if one was to die today but there are a lot more reasons to live and life isn’t just about “I’ve lived because I’ve traveled and I’ve had all the fun in my life”, it’s more then that. & the marriage part I know that you may be done , but reality of truth is that you’ll never know, you might have that one person come to your life that’ll wish to get married and turn your world around which you never thought in a million years would be possible. Thank you for sharing your post and I’m sending air hugs from my distance.

 

[toughchick401]

Well coming in here I was not expecting to read something like this but I’m glad that you did because it’s a source of an outlet. When it comes to having siblings and being close to them it can be very difficult unfortunately. I love my older sister, have been close to her my entirely until some few life turn around situations happened she no longer knew how to stay neutral which is when I learned a big lesson. You can’t tell literally everything to family no matter how comfortable you may be. You can’t change the people in your circle, but you can change the people in your circle, get it? Lol. & good to hear that you seem to be at peace if one was to die today but there are a lot more reasons to live and life isn’t just about “I’ve lived because I’ve traveled and I’ve had all the fun in my life”, it’s more then that. & the marriage part I know that you may be done , but reality of truth is that you’ll never know, you might have that one person come to your life that’ll wish to get married and turn your world around which you never thought in a million years would be possible. Thank you for sharing your post and I’m sending air hugs from my distance.

What kind of sounds like my sister is like your siblings she just accuse me of being mentally abusive to her which by the way she is to me and she's threatening to kick me out of the house that we grew up in that I paid to live in because I can't afford it every month. It's like oh me my money give me my money already were two jobs. I already have really bad health and she knows this, but yet instead of chipping in and helping when both our names on the house, it relies on me and falls on me because I live there and she's a paralegal so I really don't have a leg to stand on because she knows all the legal and I don't so gone to a lawyer and he's like well. You can fight her, but do you want to ruin that relationship and I kind of think I'm ahead it's already ruined Like she's already accuse me of doing such awful things that I'm not doing and I'm like I don't know what else to do like I have to let it go you're right I have to just be like you know what I'm done and be like all right buy me out give me my money and buy me out.

 

[ALX393]

What kind of sounds like my sister is like your siblings she just accuse me of being mentally abusive to her which by the way she is to me and she's threatening to kick me out of the house that we grew up in that I paid to live in because I can't afford it every month. It's like oh me my money give me my money already were two jobs. I already have really bad health and she knows this, but yet instead of chipping in and helping when both our names on the house, it relies on me and falls on me because I live there and she's a paralegal so I really don't have a leg to stand on because she knows all the legal and I don't so gone to a lawyer and he's like well. You can fight her, but do you want to ruin that relationship and I kind of think I'm ahead it's already ruined Like she's already accuse me of doing such awful things that I'm not doing and I'm like I don't know what else to do like I have to let it go you're right I have to just be like you know what I'm done and be like all right buy me out give me my money and buy me out.

Well based on what you said I feel like you yourself know the answer unless you don’t see it or afraid of pulling the trigger because it’s unknown territory. Of course , ruining a relationship is costly but that’s where the difference is between friends/family vs business. You have to do what YOU have to for your own well being. Have her buy you out simple fact that you can’t afford it PERIOD and move somewhere more affordable. I understand the sentimental value behind a home that you grew up in and all, but reality is that 100 years after we’re gone, the material things stay. Give meaning to a new place , give new meaning to a new home you can call your home. We grow in the uncomfortable & sometime life forces doors to shut on us but once you reach that new door which may take forever you’ll realize how much better set you’ll be. I’ve gone through a **** load of up and downs and still continue too but I’ve learned to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and I no longer fear the unknown because it hasn’t killed me, yet lol. Chin up.

 

[toughchick401]

Well based on what you said I feel like you yourself know the answer unless you don’t see it or afraid of pulling the trigger because it’s unknown territory. Of course , ruining a relationship is costly but that’s where the difference is between friends/family vs business. You have to do what YOU have to for your own well being. Have her buy you out simple fact that you can’t afford it PERIOD and move somewhere more affordable. I understand the sentimental value behind a home that you grew up in and all, but reality is that 100 years after we’re gone, the material things stay. Give meaning to a new place , give new meaning to a new home you can call your home. We grow in the uncomfortable & sometime life forces doors to shut on us but once you reach that new door which may take forever you’ll realize how much better set you’ll be. I’ve gone through a **** load of up and downs and still continue too but I’ve learned to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and I no longer fear the unknown because it hasn’t killed me, yet lol. Chin up.

Hard to leave my home, harder to know your sister hates you, I am just sad but your right move far away

 

[ALX393]

Hard to leave my home, harder to know your sister hates you, I am just sad but your right move far away

It is sad, but I have hope that one day my sister will come to the realization that some arguments, fights don’t matter and hopefully yours does as well. & yes, it is hard to leave a home. You don’t have to do it this second, it’s a mourning process almost and coming to the realization of it. But as I said prior, you know the answer. Not a matter of If, it’s a matter of when. & that’ll be when you feel like it’s time, because we’ll never be ready for anything that life throws at us. Meditate on it.

 

[toughchick401]

It is sad, but I have hope that one day my sister will come to the realization that some arguments, fights don’t matter and hopefully yours does as well. & yes, it is hard to leave a home. You don’t have to do it this second, it’s a mourning process almost and coming to the realization of it. But as I said prior, you know the answer. Not a matter of If, it’s a matter of when. & that’ll be when you feel like it’s time, because we’ll never be ready for anything that life throws at us. Meditate on it.

I'll never be ready to leave my home that I fought so hard to keep so she can move in so easily, married he works 2 jobs, she works part time she has no clue what it's like to go without or suffer... I just wish she understood what I go through even with health issues. But I'm the end I need to consider her a death, mourn and move on

 

[ALX393]

I'll never be ready to leave my home that I fought so hard to keep so she can move in so easily, married he works 2 jobs, she works part time she has no clue what it's like to go without or suffer... I just wish she understood what I go through even with health issues. But I'm the end I need to consider her a death, mourn and move on

You can wish for her to understand and she may not know what it’s like to go without but that doesn’t mean it’s your job to change her mind. I mean unless you’ve tried to be brutally honest with her by sitting down , cutting the **** and telling her wtf is the beef between you both. Maybe she has resentment towards you and this is a deeper rooted issue that you never knew about.

 

[toughchick401]

You can wish for her to understand and she may not know what it’s like to go without but that doesn’t mean it’s your job to change her mind. I mean unless you’ve tried to be brutally honest with her by sitting down , cutting the **** and telling her wtf is the beef between you both. Maybe she has resentment towards you and this is a deeper rooted issue that you never knew about.

It is. I had another sister who was between her and I who was killed. She has many times told me she wished it was me and not my sister I feel the same but would never say it out loud to her.... I'm not that hurtful