Because I still have the same passion as I did behind the science of these products as I did in 2011.. however I have become increasingly conservative and realizing what these substances will do long term. And is it really worth it to build a supraphysiological physique creating damage along the way and losing hair etc, knowing that eventually the muscle will not be forever, butnthe damage sure will show up. Do you guys even think about that or really just live for right now? Again I love bodybuilding and have competed physique so I enjoy the whole science behind these things.. but as i have gotten older I see some other ugly sides of what can come with these. Mainly hair thinning but still.
It is a psychological issue some might say...some might say it is a primal instinct that drives us to present ourselves as powerful
And anabolics give you just that, strength and mass, power in its most primal form
do i think usage is bringing me anything positive? No, but i am not strong enough mentally to say how i dont care how i look or how strong i am
imho the drive behind my (and probably a lot of people's) usage of anabolics, even though it might be unconscious, is the same drive that drives human and other mammal males to seek dominance...the same drive that makes you feel good while driving a luxury car...or firing a powerful weapon...
And this drive gets stronger higher the testosterone levels are...so it is a vicious cycle...i am definitely more reckless when i have higher test levels, more risk taking...i generally have less fear about things in life
Much more mellow and careful, even to the point of being scared of some things while having low levels
edit: it is amazing how testosterone levels change our behavior ina subtle, but noticeable way. Other people around you definitely nptice you have changed.
For example, i remember mid cycle i took a look at the playlist on stream i used to listen before...i was like wtf is this?? Couldnt imagine myself listening to some of the songs at the time (they sounded too"girly" for my taste all of a sudden).
I had low test levels prior to beginning so the change in my behavior is probably more dramatic than that of a regular young man who cycles.