I suffer mini relapses every winter. Each year they are getting better and better and less destructive. Being that my issues really creep up in the winter much worse than any other time of year allows me to see the difference and destruction even a little imbibing can create. I am happy go lucky life of the party and everyone loves that part. The fallout is the days and weeks after length depends on what and how much was consumed/used. I am finally past this this year/winter so far. The fun with it ended a long time ago and it is now bad all around.
For me it was self-medicating 100%. I was consuming to temporarily feeling great and then feel even worse as it was better than feeling crappy all the time. I was able to finally figure it out myself and with the right combination of supplements and meds I am able to function at the top of my game all year. Are there things about it I miss? Sure. I do have fond memories of time spent with certain individuals who were knee deep in that "life." I think that is part of what can drag you back is at first it was all roses and unicorns(you could actually see these if you played your cards right lol). What we forget sometimes is the lying, deception, arguments, missed work, missed school, isolation and depression that WILL not might but WILL rear it's ugly head at one point or another if you fall back into it.
