Fat shaming parents?

[tooty]

My mum n dad are like a couple of fat shaming bullies. If it isn't me that's the topic of disrespect and Fat shaming it's people on tv.
My dad said "oh god look at him, wouldn't want a kid that big" while looking at me and my mum. Not long after My mum starts fat shaming people on tv. "Oh my god hes a fat c*nt or she's a fat c*nt etc etc.

They know I'm trying to lose weight and eat less, And my dad decides he wants a cream bun because instead of me giving in to get one, like I'd usually do. That he'd get one, He had a smile on his face like it was a joke to him. But having your parents be a pair of antagonistic bullies is no joke to me.

I'm furious atm. I was going to workout despite being at their house but all i want to do is hide away and cry. Has anyone had similar and what would your advice be? Thanks a lot. Xxx

 

[Carnivorecon]

Ive never had that kind of treatment from my worst enemy. It could be they don't understand how they're effecting you, they really could be oblivious to it, they could be pointing out how bad being overweight is as a hint to you without wanting to say it directly, thinking that they are helping in a weird way. What I'm trying to say is try not to assume worst rather assume the best and that changes your outlook and your own mindset, believe me it is beneficial to you not them. You're taking steps to improve yourself don't let anything get you off track, if you're dads being a jerk use that as fuel to spur you on, think how good you will feel achieving your goal and proving him wrong!

 

[tooty]

Ive never had that kind of treatment from my worst enemy. It could be they don't understand how they're effecting you, they really could be oblivious to it, they could be pointing out how bad being overweight is as a hint to you without wanting to say it directly, thinking that they are helping in a weird way. What I'm trying to say is try not to assume worst rather assume the best and that changes your outlook and your own mindset, believe me it is beneficial to you not them. You're taking steps to improve yourself don't let anything get you off track, if you're dads being a jerk use that as fuel to spur you on, think how good you will feel achieving your goal and proving him wrong!

I appreciate that, I feel like my dad does stuff just to make me feel small or tormented in a sense, and my mum not long before joins in. thats the thing, it was directed at me before I asked my mum to stop. She would call me fat cow or a big pig. She would always comment on things i ate but yet kept trying to feed me. Feel like I can't win sometimes. They're supportive yet fat shaming. Sometimes I feel like they see it all as a joke, but to me it's important. But you're right, gotta prove them wrong i guess Xx

Shouldn't have to really.

 

[Carnivorecon]

Yh that sounds like they know what they're doing and its deliberate, dont let it be an obstacle let it be behind you pushing your forward! Have you ever heard Lou ferrigno talk about his dad, its heartbreaking to think his dad treated him like that, fortunately he had the strength of mind to do well in spite of him, you can do the same. Find some interview footage on youtube and let it inspire you.

 

[nostrum420]

That sucks... Are they a bit out of shape themselves?

Me thinks they doth protest too much?

 

[GQdaLEGEND]

Damn man, so sorry that someone would have to go through this .. only have seen this in movies or Jerry springer

This is no different then kids bullying someone smaller then them.

1 maybe they are doing thinking it will motivate you to get better in shape

If that’s their thinking Ofcourse they are wrong and doing more and more damage

Are you in high school ? Or even in college don’t know if you want to speak to a counselor or something and get some stuff off your chest

 

[Beau]

We can't control what other people say or do, nor should we try.

It would seem that all you can do is to simply ask them not to do it. Tell them, in the most straightforward terms possible, that when they say these things it feel like a personal attack on you, and you hope they care more about you as a person and that you are asking for their support.

Then, it is all up to them.

Until it is up to you.

If they change, everything is fine. If they don't, the they have told you what you need to know. Then, you either accept it or remove yourself. Don't "cancel" them, just create enough space where you are not angry with them.

A very wise person told me long ago "Do not get mad at a giraffe because it has a long neck; it is a giraffe and giraffes have long necks". In other words, they are free to say and act as they see fit - and you can decide when you want to take your sails out of their wind.

 

[CroLifter]

How old are you? You sound very young since this is getting to you.

They may be your parents but they are not you. Focus on your goals. You have youth on your side, life is ahead of you. They may simply be bitter, older folks tend to become like that with age.

Anyway we are in the age of internet. All the necessary information regarding weight loss, training, nutrition etc is widely available an guys in this forum are knowledgeable. Just stay away from anabolics,

Good luck my young pal

 

[thebigt]

My mum n dad are like a couple of fat shaming bullies. If it isn't me that's the topic of disrespect and Fat shaming it's people on tv.
My dad said "oh god look at him, wouldn't want a kid that big" while looking at me and my mum. Not long after My mum starts fat shaming people on tv. "Oh my god hes a fat c*nt or she's a fat c*nt etc etc.

They know I'm trying to lose weight and eat less, And my dad decides he wants a cream bun because instead of me giving in to get one, like I'd usually do. That he'd get one, He had a smile on his face like it was a joke to him. But having your parents be a pair of antagonistic bullies is no joke to me.

I'm furious atm. I was going to workout despite being at their house but all i want to do is hide away and cry. Has anyone had similar and what would your advice be? Thanks a lot. Xxx

how old are you?

 

[cheftepesh1]

Sad that parents would do that. I had a father that was heavy and sabotaged my weight loss for many years, since he couldn’t do it. Years later I realize what they think of me doesn’t matter as much as what I think of me.


Food for thought

 

[GQdaLEGEND]

@tooty haven't heard from you in few days .. hope all is good

hope you come back here and read the posts above all good advice, and get into fitness journey with us.

 

[sammpedd88]

My mum n dad are like a couple of fat shaming bullies. If it isn't me that's the topic of disrespect and Fat shaming it's people on tv.
My dad said "oh god look at him, wouldn't want a kid that big" while looking at me and my mum. Not long after My mum starts fat shaming people on tv. "Oh my god hes a fat c*nt or she's a fat c*nt etc etc.

They know I'm trying to lose weight and eat less, And my dad decides he wants a cream bun because instead of me giving in to get one, like I'd usually do. That he'd get one, He had a smile on his face like it was a joke to him. But having your parents be a pair of antagonistic bullies is no joke to me.

I'm furious atm. I was going to workout despite being at their house but all i want to do is hide away and cry. Has anyone had similar and what would your advice be? Thanks a lot. Xxx

Shame your parents by getting into the best shape possible. It’s got to come from within. You’ve got to dig down to the pits of your soul and find the intestinal fortitude to drive yourself to a new you. Don’t let ANYONE keep you from that. Control the controllables. Get a grip on yourself and get in the gym! You’ve got plenty of support on this forum! Good luck!

 

[KvanH]

I think what @Beau said is the best and first approach. Tell them honestly, calmly and respectfully, that what they are doing is really hurting you and not helping or motivating you at all.

 

[Carnivorecon]

Sad that parents would do that. I had a father that was heavy and sabotaged my weight loss for many years, since he couldn’t do it. Years later I realize what they think of me doesn’t matter as much as what I think of me.


Food for thought


View attachment 204468

That poem's deep, I've let the man in the mirror down many times and will many more without doubt, have struggled to look at my reflection without also reflecting on my shortcomings, but i try to better tomorrow than today

 

[cheftepesh1]

That poem's deep, I've let the man in the mirror down many times and will many more without doubt, have struggled to look at my reflection without also reflecting on my shortcomings, but i try to better tomorrow than today

The goal is to be better than the day before.

 

[thebigt]

there is almost always 2 sides to every story, i've learned the hard way more than once not to jump to conclusions before hearing both sides.

it is possible that he is a 37 year old mooch living in parents basement with no job and is just pissed because parents are threatening to kick him out....not saying this is the case but it's possible---my wife and i know a couple whose son is exactly like that, after giving him every opportunity he got really pissed and flattened the tires on all their vehicles and busted out several very expensive windows in their house---he blames everything on his parents and has zero responsibilty for his self.

 

[Beau]

there is almost always 2 sides to every story, i've learned the hard way more than once not to jump to conclusions before hearing both sides.

it is possible that he is a 37 year old mooch living in parents basement with no job and is just pissed because parents are threatening to kick him out....not saying this is the case but it's possible---my wife and i know a couple whose son is exactly like that, after giving him every opportunity he got really pissed and flattened the tires on all their vehicles and busted out several very expensive windows in their house---he blames everything on his parents and has zero responsibilty for his self.

My advise wouldn't be different, regardless.

But if my son tried to pull that crap (flattened tires, broken windows), he would be dealing with the police ... what a punk.

 

[cheftepesh1]

My advise wouldn't be different, regardless.

But if my son tried to pull that crap (flattened tires, broken windows), he would be dealing with the police ... what a punk.

Agreed

 

[tooty]

Thank you all for your replies it mean a a lot to me. I managed to speak to my mum and let her know that wheb she fat shames other people it sometimes gets so mean that I wonder if that's how she sees me.

Because she used to call me a pig and stuff. when she gets drunk it was worse, she'd call me a fat pig, fat c*nt etc..
Anyway shea stopped calling me fat and has been really supportive towards my weight loss journey. As I told her it not help me to keep hearing how disgusting fat people are because like it or not I'm fat.

I have also managed to lose some weight and I'm about to post the pics on here actually. Hoping others can see progress too and I'm not just seeing things lol
I doubt she will stop fat shaming altogether.. i know she herself feels onsecure about heraelf and i think part of it is because of that. The other is because my dad is extremely judgmental, he will say really nasty things about people. Not long after My mum starts it's like he's rubbing off on her. Eitherway they have both said they are proud of me so that's a bonus. Thank you again for all your kind support xxxx

Excuse my phone, it loves to make me Look like I'm a toddler typing

 

[Beau]

I am happy to hear that you addressed things with them. That is not an easy thing to do.

Without sounding too "parental" in my advice - managing confrontation is one of the most important skills a person can have.

Remember, the only person you can change is you. With everyone else, it boils down to the extent to which they will honor your request. Some may, others may not.

Good luck.

 

[nostrum420]

Thank you all for your replies it mean a a lot to me. I managed to speak to my mum and let her know that wheb she fat shames other people it sometimes gets so mean that I wonder if that's how she sees me.

Because she used to call me a pig and stuff. when she gets drunk it was worse, she'd call me a fat pig, fat c*nt etc..
Anyway shea stopped calling me fat and has been really supportive towards my weight loss journey. As I told her it not help me to keep hearing how disgusting fat people are because like it or not I'm fat.

I have also managed to lose some weight and I'm about to post the pics on here actually. Hoping others can see progress too and I'm not just seeing things lol
I doubt she will stop fat shaming altogether.. i know she herself feels onsecure about heraelf and i think part of it is because of that. The other is because my dad is extremely judgmental, he will say really nasty things about people. Not long after My mum starts it's like he's rubbing off on her. Eitherway they have both said they are proud of me so that's a bonus. Thank you again for all your kind support xxxx

Excuse my phone, it loves to make me Look like I'm a toddler typing

Good on you. Well done.

 

[thebigt]

Thank you all for your replies it mean a a lot to me. I managed to speak to my mum and let her know that wheb she fat shames other people it sometimes gets so mean that I wonder if that's how she sees me.

Because she used to call me a pig and stuff. when she gets drunk it was worse, she'd call me a fat pig, fat c*nt etc..
Anyway shea stopped calling me fat and has been really supportive towards my weight loss journey. As I told her it not help me to keep hearing how disgusting fat people are because like it or not I'm fat.

I have also managed to lose some weight and I'm about to post the pics on here actually. Hoping others can see progress too and I'm not just seeing things lol
I doubt she will stop fat shaming altogether.. i know she herself feels onsecure about heraelf and i think part of it is because of that. The other is because my dad is extremely judgmental, he will say really nasty things about people. Not long after My mum starts it's like he's rubbing off on her. Eitherway they have both said they are proud of me so that's a bonus. Thank you again for all your kind support xxxx

Excuse my phone, it loves to make me Look like I'm a toddler typing

does your dad abuse alcohol also?

 

[tooty]

does your dad abuse alcohol also?

Nah he hardly drinks at all. My mum however drinks necause it helps numb her chronic pain from two slipped discs that docs neglected to treat and instead kept misdiagnosing her

 

[GQdaLEGEND]

Thank you all for your replies it mean a a lot to me. I managed to speak to my mum and let her know that wheb she fat shames other people it sometimes gets so mean that I wonder if that's how she sees me.

Because she used to call me a pig and stuff. when she gets drunk it was worse, she'd call me a fat pig, fat c*nt etc..
Anyway shea stopped calling me fat and has been really supportive towards my weight loss journey. As I told her it not help me to keep hearing how disgusting fat people are because like it or not I'm fat.

I have also managed to lose some weight and I'm about to post the pics on here actually. Hoping others can see progress too and I'm not just seeing things lol
I doubt she will stop fat shaming altogether.. i know she herself feels onsecure about heraelf and i think part of it is because of that. The other is because my dad is extremely judgmental, he will say really nasty things about people. Not long after My mum starts it's like he's rubbing off on her. Eitherway they have both said they are proud of me so that's a bonus. Thank you again for all your kind support xxxx

Excuse my phone, it loves to make me Look like I'm a toddler typing

Great to hear and excited to see your journey .. stay focused and anything can be achieved and good to see family coming together .. nothing like it.

 

[thebigt]

Nah he hardly drinks at all. My mum however drinks necause it helps numb her chronic pain from two slipped discs that docs neglected to treat and instead kept misdiagnosing her

alcohol changes people...if you are a believer i am convinced of the power of prayer---i was a stone cold alcoholic and my belief in GOD and prayer led me to over 20 years of sobriety and still going!!!

even if you are not a believer say a prayer for both of your parents-and for yourself also!!!

 

[celc5]

Lots of good advice in this thread.

Something that might help you stay grounded in ur own self image is to shift ur perspective, maybe sort of reframing. For example,

"Dang, seems like all the ladies really like me thick."

"God gave me a beautiful face, can't have it all bc I'd be too good looking and it wouldn't be fair"

"Biden would raise my taxes if I was any sexier."

 

[Dustin07]

Your parents comments are rooted in their insecurities and are being projected towards you, unfortunately. It's not fair and it doesn't make it right, but it is more about how insecure they are than about you.

 

[thebigt]

Your parents comments are rooted in their insecurities and are being projected towards you, unfortunately. It's not fair and it doesn't make it right, but it is more about how insecure they are than about you.

not everyone is cut out to be a good parent, it is a very difficult responsibility-and i have seen some who were really good parents and kids were total ingrates.
since i have not heard the parents side of things i think i will hold off judging them.

young people who haven't raised kids to adulthood in today's toxic environment have no clue the obstacles they will be up against when their children hit teens and older.

inb4 ok, boomer...