Iron Warrior
Registered User
Because they're both telling me very different things and I would like some input before I potentially screw up . . . again.
Do you make decisions with your heart or your mind ?
- Thread starter Iron Warrior
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Iron Warrior
Registered User
Work related. I'm a teacher and a football coach (offensive coordinator and interim Head Coach last year due to an illness). I have sacrificed my heart for this school the last 4 years and have been patiently waiting to take over as Head Coach and was pretty much promised by the current Head Coach that he'd retire at the end of this year and let me be the Head Coach BUT the Athletic Director wants me to remain as an assisstant and WILL hire his nephew to be the Head Coach next year. I just thought I deserved better then what they gave me. I've driven many players home after practice and games, single handedly ran the off-season program, ruined relationships with 2 great women for this school. We're 5-1 right now and I can't even understand why he'd tell me this now ? Does he want me to not be there mentally to make his decision look good ? I seriously think I'm being discriminated by my age here. The reasons he gave were that I am too immature (I think he mistook my sense of humor for immaturity), not experienced enough, and that he doesn't believe in my philosophy.Ziricote said:
My mind says I should go elsewhere but my heart doesn't want me to leave, I have too many attachments to my players and I went to that school. No girl ever broke my heart this bad, from the Fight Club "I am Jack's broken heart"
I think the only way I MIGHT stay is if I can't land a job I'm satisfied with.
jminis
Well-known member
I'd secure a job somewhere else then tell that guy to kiss my a$$. Promising you the job then pulling the old "hiring the son or nephew" is BS. As for your philosophy he doesn't have to like it you just have to win ball games.
Also one other thing you can do is bring it up with the players and see what they think. Maybe they can start a petition for you.
Also one other thing you can do is bring it up with the players and see what they think. Maybe they can start a petition for you.
glg
Member
Well what do you do it for?
The game, the $$, the recognition.
Did you do all those things because you thought it would land you the Head Coach or because that's just the kind of guy you are?
In my 37 yrs as a martial arts instructor/fitness guide I have done the same things. I was always dissapointed when recognition was given to others in the organization I belong to and it took me many years to just 'get over it' and realize i just loved what I was doing. I was never going to get more than a thank you from a student or a parent and that had to be enough.
Now the other issue is your personal growth. you need to move on to a higher level at some point. a larger school as assistant, a smaller school as head coach etc. you need to feed yourself and have the income to do the extras that you have been doing. If you don't have the position, responsibilty, authority and $$ you can't help your players the way you know can be done.
You also need to consider the role model you present if you stay vs if you move on. Both have their ups & downs.
Do the old side by side list of good vs bad for staying and going so you at least have a clearer picture of what you are facing.
good luck and don't let them spoil your game.
The game, the $$, the recognition.
Did you do all those things because you thought it would land you the Head Coach or because that's just the kind of guy you are?
In my 37 yrs as a martial arts instructor/fitness guide I have done the same things. I was always dissapointed when recognition was given to others in the organization I belong to and it took me many years to just 'get over it' and realize i just loved what I was doing. I was never going to get more than a thank you from a student or a parent and that had to be enough.
Now the other issue is your personal growth. you need to move on to a higher level at some point. a larger school as assistant, a smaller school as head coach etc. you need to feed yourself and have the income to do the extras that you have been doing. If you don't have the position, responsibilty, authority and $$ you can't help your players the way you know can be done.
You also need to consider the role model you present if you stay vs if you move on. Both have their ups & downs.
Do the old side by side list of good vs bad for staying and going so you at least have a clearer picture of what you are facing.
good luck and don't let them spoil your game.
TarHeelTrainer
New member
Iron Warrior said:
This is your challenge. Just like you challenge your players to prepare mentally as well as physically before every game, you must now do the same. If you feel you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a head coach now is your time to prove it. Don't let next season interfere with your preparation for this season. Stay focused and make his decision HARDER. Discuss your feelings/concerns with the current head coach and suggest during the off-season you, the head coach, and the AD all sit down discuss the team's future.
DO NOT discuss any coaching staff information with the players...but the parents...they're fair game. Next time a parent wants to talk about plans for next season, hint at the possibility of this new coach. Word spreads fast on HS campuses and you should gain strong support from the parents. They will have greater influence on an AD than teenagers. Highschoolers are too emotionally volatile and it may appear you are trying to incite a mutiny. Your team's performance will suffer and you will give the AD validation for his decision.
Stay tough and good luck with the rest of the season!
CDB
Registered User
Use your head. No matter how much you love your job and how much heart and soul you put into it, at the end of the day unless you own the business it is not yours, and as such it's not worth getting too attached to. This move proves the school isn't as dedicated to you as you are to it. That's an abusive relationship. So unless you want to be the proverbial chick with a black eye claiming her boyfriend really loves her, get out.
If you're attached to the kids, keep in touch and keep training them off hours, make some kind of arrangement. I know a guy who was in a similar situation here, he lost his job though. Still trains the kids though and is fast on his way to building up his own self defense school. Do NOT close your eyes to other opportunities out of comfort or past dedication. Take what you've learned, apply it elsewhere. And leave on good terms. No need to tell anyone to screw off, be professional and leave that bridge intact. Maybe one day you'll go back over it.
If you're attached to the kids, keep in touch and keep training them off hours, make some kind of arrangement. I know a guy who was in a similar situation here, he lost his job though. Still trains the kids though and is fast on his way to building up his own self defense school. Do NOT close your eyes to other opportunities out of comfort or past dedication. Take what you've learned, apply it elsewhere. And leave on good terms. No need to tell anyone to screw off, be professional and leave that bridge intact. Maybe one day you'll go back over it.
somewhatgifted
Registered User
Id say finish the season to the best of your ability, this atleast shows your character and mental toughness. Youll have the rest of the season to decide, no bad blood if you stay, and a great resume if you leave. Will you and the director ever see eye to eye? or in his mind are you always an assistant?
Beau
Well-known member
For important decisions, only follow your head.
Ask yourself this: In the past have there ever been times that you thought you loved someone, or felt some other type strong emotion - yet ultimately what you "felt" was proven to be erroneous? If so, you'll see just how misleading emotions are.
You have a lot of time and love invested in your school/job/team. That is very, very admirable. Sadly, however, that doesn't change the facts, nor does it seem to have been reciprocated.
Ask yourself this: In the past have there ever been times that you thought you loved someone, or felt some other type strong emotion - yet ultimately what you "felt" was proven to be erroneous? If so, you'll see just how misleading emotions are.
You have a lot of time and love invested in your school/job/team. That is very, very admirable. Sadly, however, that doesn't change the facts, nor does it seem to have been reciprocated.
Iron Warrior
Registered User
It's actually not the Coach's fault. He pretty much was going to retire after this year and he was under the impression that I'd take over because it was so obvious to him too. The AD is ultimately the man making the moves. The coach already knows the bad news (for me) and this is out of his control. He and the AD are good friends and I'm not the kind of the guy that would make someone pick friends over friends.jminis said:
I am working on a new job for next year but the best time to tell is after the season's over.
I also thought the philosophical differences were pretty lame. This stems from an incident last year where he asked me to be more lenient with the super star kids because he thought I'd make them quit and I think it's best to treat all the kids the same way or else you lose respect with them.
CDB: Yeah, I definitely got attached. I envisioned myself building a top notch program at my alma mater but that plan's out the window now. I love your abusive relationship analogy LOL, it's right on in this case.
Tar Heel: I wouldn't try to petition with parents. The deal is a done deal and they only want me back as an offensive coordinator/O-Line coach and to run the off-season program. I also don't like begging or manipulating others and won't come back as an assisstant.
glg: I do this because it's what I love. I'm passionate about this. The money is okay $52K for a single guy but the hours are crazy. I definitely wouldn't be able to support a family here unless my wife brought in another $45K LOL. I've been up since 6 am and just got home, will hit the gym and then the sack after a meal and a shower and there goes my day. It's like this since July-December if we get far. Sleeping 8 hours a day is a luxury I can only afford on weekends. The offseason is a light 6am-4pm work schedule though.
Thanks for all your input and support. I think it's best for me to just be professional and get the job done. I think it was unprofessional to tell me this crap in the middle of a winning season but I won't fight fire with fire and I need a good word for next year. The worst thing today was going there and acting as if all was cool and maintaining my sense of humor and smile but I knew this was a cutthroat type of job but I just didn't expect my throat to get cut at this point, maybe if we we're 1-5 and playing like crap then it's understandable but we're 5-1 and the toughest games are behind us. I gues the good old "if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger" statement is right on after all.