My Gym Rules
- 09-11-2008, 03:10 PM
My Gym Rules
Remember when all gyms used to be hardcore...
1. Loud guttural noises are mandatory on the last rep of the last set...
2. Music must be aggressive and loud, by order of management.
3. Females must overgo a visual inspection in order to be able to wear spandex. :chick:
4. Females must overgo a visual inspection in order to able to forgo wearing spandex. (Male members will not be permitted to wear spandex)
5. Members to administer physical punishment to anyone using the squatting cage for curls, failure to do so will result in physical punishment..
6. No whining...
7. Those who take offence to loud aggressive behavior are encouraged to shut the fug up and mine there own business. Failure to comply will result in physical punishment.
8. Equipment must be shared, using the equipment as a place to rest in between sets is not permitted should a conflict ensue priority will go to the one expending the most effort or in the case of spandex wearing females upon the fullmess of her posterior.
9. Stay the fug out of my way.
10. No Whinning!!
11. Conversations that do not encorporate the involvement of spandex wearing female members (inspected) in extracuricular activity are to be kept to a minimum.
12. Weights will be stored in an orderly fashion to permit easy access, don't mix up the fuggin weights.
13. Male members reserve the right to carefully observe spandex wearing females (inspected) particularly when using the leg curl which will be placed in the center of the weight room at all times.
14. All members must squat unless they provide a note from their doctor.
15. Pornography is allowed in the cardio room...Unremarkable is no way to go through life... Doug
- 09-11-2008, 03:51 PM
09-11-2008, 04:22 PM
09-11-2008, 04:35 PM
The biggest rule of the gym I go to is:
Sweating is optional, but a Towel is mandatory.
What the Heck? It should be the opposite, IMO. If you are going to the gym to work out, you go to gym to sweat your friggin' a$$ off! It should not be an option. It should be mandatory. Screw the towel!
09-11-2008, 05:10 PM
16. No bringing big bags of stupid gear onto the floor to put in everyone's way
17. No bringing in your own ghetto blaster and playing 50 Cent while gym already has its own music
18. Deodorant is a must. No one wants to smell your skank azz.
19. No lingering in the lockerroom in underwear, or nothing, or doing exercise of any kind in the steam or locker room. Period.
Last edited by stormecho; 09-11-2008 at 05:11 PM. Reason: Wrong number sequence
09-11-2008, 05:18 PM
09-11-2008, 05:22 PM
I still curl in the squat rack... As long as the weight is moving and i'm not leaning on the equipment, kiss my ass, i'll use it how I see fit.
09-11-2008, 05:23 PM
“Besides, it is a disgrace to grow old through sheer carelessness before seeing what manner of man you may become by developing your bodily strength and beauty to their highest limit.”
09-11-2008, 08:44 PM
09-12-2008, 01:08 PM
09-14-2008, 10:09 AM
Come to train, not to talk. It's just a madder of time before they open up coffee stands and put some up a freakin' couch. Seriously, some guys literally go to the gym to talk.
Here's another from Mark Rippetoe... if your gym doesn't allow chalk, it's time to find a new gym
09-14-2008, 10:26 AM
what if i feel the need to throw a 45lb plate or other sized weight across the gym??? .....felt like that today.
09-14-2008, 10:53 AM
Would you believe this...my gym has Pizza Mondays. Imagine that? You're sweating your ass off on the elliptical or whatever, and in comes delivery boy with 15 pizzas. Lays them out on a table, and all these fat guys and women come over and start snarfing them down.
What's next? Heroine Fridays at Betty Ford? And no, no chalk allowed there either. It's Planet Fitness, and I"m quitting. Looking to actually open my own gym. It seems all the places are going the soft route lately, no grunting, no dumbbells over 70 lbs....WTF??
09-14-2008, 10:54 AM
09-14-2008, 10:58 AM
09-14-2008, 12:41 PM
I actually saw this dumb woman talking on her bluetooth while working out....seriously??
09-14-2008, 01:47 PM
09-14-2008, 02:06 PM
I don't curl in the squat rack if there's anyone needing it for squatting. Just like I don't use the bench on the flat bench for other exercises if someone wants to bench. I just have issues with people that think a piece of equipment is off limits unless you're doing a specfic lift.
09-14-2008, 08:28 PM
09-15-2008, 08:14 AM
It gets a little frustrating. Large groups of munchkins all watching, milling about not having a clue what there doing. ..
Incidently if the gym doesn't allow chalk, I would just laugh in there face and walk out... damn what is this world coming to when they disallow such an important thing as chalk.
Unremarkable is no way to go through life... Doug
09-15-2008, 09:48 AM
I'm loving some of these rules!
There is some young guy, possibly in high school, and he's as scrawny as can be, but grunts, growls, and curses at the top of his lungs when he's hardly lifting much weight. Everyone stops and stares at him, and several people feel like just walking up and punching him out.
09-15-2008, 10:24 AM
Aw man, you got to give it up for a guy who puts out though. Some guys do "make noise" for attention, which is pathetic, but letting out some motivation often brings up your intensity. I train in my garage currently, but I'm constantly yelling to raise my intensity before a lift(or during). Otherwise you'd be holding back! An ideal gym, in my opinion, would have the music loud enough to serve as a decent blanket to cover the occasional bout of intensity. In a way it also inspires me when I see someone giving it their all and holding no regards to what they look like.
09-15-2008, 10:38 AM
09-15-2008, 01:12 PM
things i hate about my gym seem to be the same as the one everyone hates about their own gyms
im nto a fan of the people who grunt and curse so loud that i hear it over my ipod when im standing on the other side of the gym i find it very distracting a little grunt is ok but when it sounds like your squeezing a watermelon out of your pee hole thats a whole different story
09-15-2008, 01:17 PM
not sure if this has been said but a rule i would add would be no cell phones...i ****ing go ape **** when jackasses sit there do one set then get on their phone for 15mins between sets ...it especially pisses me off when their in the way...which the usually are
09-15-2008, 01:37 PM
Unremarkable is no way to go through life... Doug
09-15-2008, 02:03 PM
21) Rule: Quit taking PH's and your workout routines is chest/bi....chest/bi....bi/tri....chest. (I swear, i dont think anyone squats heavy anymore). If i see someone squatting heaving, i have to look twice to make sure. Lifting has become a joke...period
09-15-2008, 02:09 PM
09-15-2008, 02:29 PM
funny thing is the little guys are also the ones who leave plates on the bar/machines this erks the **** out of me. like the one time a saw a pretty good size guy load up the sled with as many plates as possible and then when he was done he just got up and walked off for some reason i felt compelled to say as he walked by "you can put all that weight on but you cant pu the plates back where they belong" he took a double take (im in decent shape but not huge and cut by any means) and he walked back and took the plates off and put them in the proper storage area
that and the people who dont put the DB's back in the rite slot annoy the hell out of me if you can lift the weight you should be able to put the weight back where it belongs so the next person doesnt have to clean up after you
09-15-2008, 02:35 PM
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