Who here has in laws that are fat and out of shape?

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by CarneyFolk View Post
    I suspect your just trolling at this point, but I’ll bite. You don’t have to respect them, you don’t have to have sympathy for them; I don’t. But what about a little empathy or grace?

    I suspect you grew up knowing what a parents love was. That your self worth was based on small successes, one after another, in school or sports that your parents praised. I suspect you’ve never been to the emergency room for the third time in a month and had to lie to CPS, yet again, how you got hurt. That you’ve never told your mother you love her and her response is; “I know,” “Thanks,” or “Okay.” These are things that no child should ever have to endure, yet it’s all too common. When someone feels like they add no value, when they have no goals or ambitions for what they will accomplish, there’s no reason to change. It’s just easier to get up and do what they did yesterday. Why don’t you come along side him and paint a picture of what his life could be?

    Here’s what’s fascinating. Since your brother-in-Law has such a low self image and self worth... his sister... your wife most likely does too. And the only reason she hasn’t left you is because she doesn’t believe she can do better. My hope is you wake up before it’s too late...
    Actually my wife made it on her own and is far different than her brother. Its like night and day. If she was like her brother with no self esteem, I wouldn't have married her. Thats just how it is.

    She knows her brother is lazy, fat, and unsocial. She says "What can I do about it? All I can do is be positive and try to talk to him but he won't ever listen and just gets mad and storms off. He's a grown man and will change when he wants, but unfortunately he doesn't want to change."

    I am the one that is venting on here well because its a message forum that I enjoy being on. I know some of my posts come off as a rant, but do you really think I can vent outside of this board without getting a divorce? LOL She wouldn't put up with the things I say on here.


  2. Quote Originally Posted by CarneyFolk View Post
    I suspect your just trolling at this point, but I’ll bite. You don’t have to respect them, you don’t have to have sympathy for them; I don’t. But what about a little empathy or grace?

    I suspect you grew up knowing what a parents love was. That your self worth was based on small successes, one after another, in school or sports that your parents praised. I suspect you’ve never been to the emergency room for the third time in a month and had to lie to CPS, yet again, how you got hurt. That you’ve never told your mother you love her and her response is; “I know,” “Thanks,” or “Okay.” These are things that no child should ever have to endure, yet it’s all too common. When someone feels like they add no value, when they have no goals or ambitions for what they will accomplish, there’s no reason to change. It’s just easier to get up and do what they did yesterday. Why don’t you come along side him and paint a picture of what his life could be?

    Here’s what’s fascinating. Since your brother-in-Law has such a low self image and self worth... his sister... your wife most likely does too. And the only reason she hasn’t left you is because she doesn’t believe she can do better. My hope is you wake up before it’s too late...
    Actually my wife made it on her own and is far different than her brother. Its like night and day. If she was like her brother with no self esteem, I wouldn't have married her. Thats just how it is.

    She knows her brother is lazy, fat, and unsocial. She says "What can I do about it? All I can do is be positive and try to talk to him but he won't ever listen and just gets mad and storms off. He's a grown man and will change when he wants, but unfortunately he doesn't want to change."

    He's the guy that told my wife who is fit and started going to the gym that she was getting too skinny! It almost made her cry in frustration sometimes. Even though everyone at the gym told her how great she looked, her own brother would make comments about how she looked sick and so forth. While he sits on his fat ass drinking cases of beer every night and wouldn't step foot in a gym with a gun to his head. I think alot of my venting has to do with the fact that he's just rude on top of his obesity.

    I am the one that is venting on here well because its a message forum that I enjoy being on. I know some of my posts come off as a rant, but do you really think I can vent outside of this board without getting a divorce? LOL She wouldn't put up with the things I say on here.
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by SFreed View Post
    100% troll. You had a few respected members come in and almost take your side in this. Your response to that is to belittle them. SMH.

    You were a bully in High School, weren't you.
    Honestly reading the response I think the OP was bullied in school and felt like mummy and daddy never loved him.

    I think he lashes out on Internet forums as he is missing something in his life. Certainly doesn’t have any ‘true’ friends or he would understand the value of them.

    The talk about how a real man doesn’t need help is suggestive of closet homosexuality. That would actually explain a lot, throws himself into the gym (to make himself look all manly) and acts like he does due to suppressed homosexual feelings.

    Being a real man means being able to ask for help, being able to cry (and not just on clomid), being there for his family emotionally, showing empathy for others.

    Admitting you have problems is true mental toughness.

    Not being able to reach out for help is a huge sign of mental weakness @CompeteNPC

  4. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    Actually my wife made it on her own and is far different than her brother. Its like night and day. If she was like her brother with no self esteem, I wouldn't have married her. Thats just how it is.

    She knows her brother is lazy, fat, and unsocial. She says "What can I do about it? All I can do is be positive and try to talk to him but he won't ever listen and just gets mad and storms off. He's a grown man and will change when he wants, but unfortunately he doesn't want to change."

    I am the one that is venting on here well because its a message forum that I enjoy being on. I know some of my posts come off as a rant, but do you really think I can vent outside of this board without getting a divorce? LOL She wouldn't put up with the things I say on here.
    At least that last statement shows that you can see your being an ass hole.

  5. Quote Originally Posted by thebigt View Post
    100% agree....
    like whisky I'm a recovering alcoholic.

    for some people food is an addiction, I have empathy/sympathy for those struggling with addictions.....they just replace my vodka with a plate of food-but for the grace of GOD there go i.

    btw @Whiskey congrats on your 5 years!!!!
    @thebigt and @Whisky just to give y'all an update. Since my last fall from grace. It has been a week and a have I haven't touched anything. Woke up with a hangover one morning, and it just clicked. This aint for me no more. I am fighting to stay this way, and have blown my wifes mine when I didnt run to the store for a drink
    I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?
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  6. Quote Originally Posted by DemntedCowboy View Post
    @thebigt and @Whisky just to give y'all an update. Since my last fall from grace. It has been a week and a have I haven't touched anything. Woke up with a hangover one morning, and it just clicked. This aint for me no more. I am fighting to stay this way, and have blown my wifes mine when I didnt run to the store for a drink
    Awesome brother. Take one day at a time and enjoy seeing clearly. Reach out if you ever need to

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Whisky View Post
    Awesome brother. Take one day at a time and enjoy seeing clearly. Reach out if you ever need to
    Thanks brother will do
    I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?

  8. Quote Originally Posted by DemntedCowboy View Post
    @thebigt and @Whisky just to give y'all an update. Since my last fall from grace. It has been a week and a have I haven't touched anything. Woke up with a hangover one morning, and it just clicked. This aint for me no more. I am fighting to stay this way, and have blown my wifes mine when I didnt run to the store for a drink
    Good for you bro!! Iím proud of everyone who can honestly say that.
    Nice job man. Keep it up!

    Btw Iím approaching my 3rd month of no alcohol & thatís a big thing for me to.

  9. Quote Originally Posted by skinnybones View Post
    Good for you bro!! Iím proud of everyone who can honestly say that.
    Nice job man. Keep it up!

    Btw Iím approaching my 3rd month of no alcohol & thatís a big thing for me to.
    Awesome job brother. Stay strong, I know I will this time. I just feel so much better.
    I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?

  10. Reminds me of the "11" female you see and approach to talk to. As soon as she shares whats on her minds the ugly pours right out of her face and you wouldnt put your duck in her but to punished her for being a such an ugly c**t.

    He's the male c**t.
    I have no enemies. My friends intensely despise me.

  11. Quote Originally Posted by DemntedCowboy View Post
    @thebigt and @Whisky just to give y'all an update. Since my last fall from grace. It has been a week and a have I haven't touched anything. Woke up with a hangover one morning, and it just clicked. This aint for me no more. I am fighting to stay this way, and have blown my wifes mine when I didnt run to the store for a drink
    Quote Originally Posted by skinnybones View Post
    Good for you bro!! I’m proud of everyone who can honestly say that.
    Nice job man. Keep it up!

    Btw I’m approaching my 3rd month of no alcohol & that’s a big thing for me to.
    You guys are better than me. Fckn holidays are always the worst time
    Twenty-Two Until None
    I Am My Brothers Keeper

  12. Quote Originally Posted by SFreed View Post
    You guys are better than me. Fckn holidays are always the worst time
    Preparing for a Cycle was a great incentive.....now it will keep me from drinking during New Years to.

  13. Quote Originally Posted by DemntedCowboy View Post
    @thebigt and @Whisky just to give y'all an update. Since my last fall from grace. It has been a week and a have I haven't touched anything. Woke up with a hangover one morning, and it just clicked. This aint for me no more. I am fighting to stay this way, and have blown my wifes mine when I didnt run to the store for a drink
    @DemntedCowboy one day you wake up and realize you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...don't be discouraged by relapses, I had many before I got it right!!!

    a week is a nice start, please keep us updated!!!
    GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY!!!
  14. I have no enemies. My friends intensely despise me.

  15. Quote Originally Posted by skinnybones View Post
    Good for you bro!! I’m proud of everyone who can honestly say that.
    Nice job man. Keep it up!

    Btw I’m approaching my 3rd month of no alcohol & that’s a big thing for me to.
    congrats!!!!
    GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY!!!

  16. Quote Originally Posted by David Dunn View Post
    nice...I gave you some reps, looks like you need to get that post count up some too, lol......on the serious side, I know you are a genuine good guy and appreciate the support you are always willing to give---you have my respect!!!
    GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY!!!

  17. Quote Originally Posted by thebigt View Post
    @DemntedCowboy one day you wake up and realize you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...don't be discouraged by relapses, I had many before I got it right!!!

    a week is a nice start, please keep us updated!!!
    I think I have hit that level. I really think I'm ready this time. Hopefully no more set backs for this guy.
    I mean if you really hate your balls, go for it. But, what did they do to you?

  18. Quote Originally Posted by thebigt View Post
    nice...I gave you some reps, looks like you need to get that post count up some too, lol......on the serious side, I know you are a genuine good guy and appreciate the support you are always willing to give---you have my respect!!!
    Thank you Sir!
    I have no enemies. My friends intensely despise me.

  19. The curse of disturbingly obese In-laws. Lol
    Funny thread here.
    PEScience Representative
    http://pescience.com/insider http://facebook.com/pescience

  20. We have tried to lend him advice about going to the doctor for his severe sleep apnea. He refuses. He also is about 340 pounds and refuses to wear any size larger than xl. It’s very frustrating how much in denial he is of his weight problem.

  21. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    We have tried to lend him advice about going to the doctor for his severe sleep apnea. He refuses. He also is about 340 pounds and refuses to wear any size larger than xl. It’s very frustrating how much in denial he is of his weight problem.
    denial is part of the addiction process...how many alcoholics/drug addicts do you think are in denial?
    GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY!!!

  22. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    Some people also learn to play the poor me card after they gain weight and learn to like that feeling. So they refuse to change. I believe my BIL falls in this category as well.
    It's possible that's the case, but them learning to like that feeling is unintentional.
    Given what you've said about him I get the feeling he doesn't enjoy most of his social interactions, this is a common reason why people get hooked on video games. His family may still love him but few strangers would strike up a conversation with him or give him a desirable look. If talking to him is 'like talking to a wall', most of his conversations are likely very bland and he probably doesn't enjoy them either. Hence, he doesn't have much motivation to chat with people. The people who don't show him that they feel sorry for him are most likely outright disgusted by him. Were he not family to you, perhaps you wouldn't disguise your disgust. He's come to like the feeling because the alternative attitudes people tend to hold towards him are much worse in his eyes.

    As for what you can do. I believe you can't make an addict change, but you can help the addict towards wanting to change. Give him something to look forwards to, a sort of prize for if he successfully changes. He or may not care right now, people can convince themselves that they should be happy with their lives. But if he is down and depressed, and he genuinely thinks that his weight and self-image are feeding the problem, then reminding him that things needn't be the way they are could be his salvation. The others are right, being too forceful can backfire. Suggest to him the possibilities and plant the seed of an idea. Then stand by him and offer your support. The seed may not grow now, but one day it might. From my experience, if what you propose is logical and reasonable, the person will eventually see reason.

  23. Quote Originally Posted by CompeteNPC View Post
    Some people also learn to play the poor me card after they gain weight and learn to like that feeling. So they refuse to change. I believe my BIL falls in this category as well.
    It's possible that's the case, but them learning to like that feeling is unintentional.
    Given what you've said about him I get the feeling he doesn't enjoy most of his social interactions, this is a common reason why people get hooked on video games. His family may still love him but few strangers would strike up a conversation with him or give him a desirable look. If talking to him is 'like talking to a wall', most of his conversations are likely very bland and he probably doesn't enjoy them either. Hence, he doesn't have much motivation to chat with people. The people who don't show him that they feel sorry for him are most likely outright disgusted by him. Were he not family to you, perhaps you wouldn't disguise your disgust. He's come to like the feeling because the alternative attitudes people tend to hold towards him are much worse in his eyes.

    As for what you can do. I believe you can't make an addict change, but you can help the addict towards wanting to change. Give him something to look forwards to, a sort of prize for if he successfully changes. He or may not care right now, people can convince themselves that they should be happy with their lives. But if he is down and depressed, and he genuinely thinks that his weight and self-image are feeding the problem, then reminding him that things needn't be the way they are could be his salvation. The others are right, being too forceful can backfire. Suggest to him the possibilities and plant the seed of an idea. Then stand by him and offer your support. The seed may not grow now, but one day it might. From my experience, if what you propose is logical and reasonable, the person will eventually see reason.
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