If you have kids/been divorced/in court/on probation, PLEASE READ!

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by MuscleGuyinNY View Post
    I'm gonna try my hardest to get this to make as much sense as possible. I'm trying to make a very long story, very short. I guess what I can do is just give you the main points, or highlights. A lot of the people here are very generous, courtious, and knowledgable. I sometimes feel like some of you are friends, or maybe even family, because of talking together so much, giving each other advice, etc.

    So, anyways, to the point of this thread;

    - Summer 2006, my ex and I begin dating. I'm 19 going on 20. I'm told by my ex's best friend that she's 16 going on 17, but come to find out, she was only 15. Our parents were both very concerned about the age difference, but they eventually ended up accepting the situation. Things started with us as friends, but then progressed.

    - April 2007, my ex and I find out that she's pregnant with my child. I told her that I would support her either way, no matter what she chose to do. She chose to continue with the pregnancy.

    - June 2007, I begin seeing and hearing interesting messages via IM and text, and on her voicemail. I confront her since it was a male individual. She tells me that he's just a friend. I don't say "I love you" to girls that I'm friends with and I don't bash my friend's boyfriends/girlfriends, but whatever. Moving on...

    - July 2007, my ex's new friend somehow finds out my information (cell phone number and screen name - I eventually find out that my ex supplied him with my information.) He insists on harrassing me, talking shiit, and making threats (Let me mention here that, he's 5'4'' and 110 lbs, and I'm 5'8'' and 205 lbs.) My ex eventually joins in by listening in on the calls and trying to say whatever she can to make me jealous, aka piss me off. I begin working 12-hour shifts at a local manufacturing plant, with full benefits and making $13/hr to start.

    - August 2007, I find out that my ex and this guy (Come to find out, she met him on Myspace [go figure] and he's 16, but going on 17 at some point.) My ex calls me up late one night, crying, telling me that she had something to confess to me. She tells me that she ended up cheating on me with this kid. Her excuse was, "You weren't there. You were at work. I couldn't wait until you got home." God forbid, I'm working long hours to save up money for her, our son, and myself.

    - August 2007 (Mid-August), my ex insists on making plans with me to 'work shiit out.' We agree to meet at her mother's place (her parents are seperated.) I go there and, to my surprise, she arrives with this guy. I begin to confront them. She tells me to go home and we'll talk it over later. The guy, well... he Forrest Gump's his ass like there's no tomorrow. I chased after him, beat him to the ground, but only until my ex's mother came out, screaming, biting me, pulling my hair, scratching me, etc. She threatens to call the police. Three people pry me off the guy. I leave and surrender to the police. I could've gotten charged with Trespass 1st, Stalking 4th, and Assault 3rd. For some reason, the Stalking 4th charge stuck, but everything else was dropped. I spent a night in city jail and go to court the following morning. An OFP (Order For Protection) is issued in my ex's favor, but it's only temporary (2 weeks.) I was living with my father and this whole situation was stressful on him, as he's an older guy. I get kicked out and a close friend's family takes me in for 2-3 weeks. My ex and I are officially broken up.

    - September 2007, 13 nights into the 14, my ex tracks me down at a friend's house. She comes crying to me, wanting to talk things over, once again. I knew that I was gonna get caught if I went and had court the following morning. I did the stupidest thing ever and went with her. An off-duty cop must've seen us together and reported it. I surrendered to the police and got charged with Criminal Contempt 2nd. I almost got charged with Endangering The Welfare Of A Child, but that charge was dismissed a couple of months later, which I'm getting to. The following morning I go to court. I'm taken into custody and face up to 3 months in jail. The OFP is extended for 2-3 months, even though my ex and the DA had spoken on several occasions about getting it dropped. I was in custody for about an hour, then bailed out $500 cash/$1000 bond.

    - November 2007, the Stalking 4th charge is dropped. The Endangering charge is dismissed. I plead guilty to Criminal Contempt 2nd and am sentenced to 3 years of probation. The 2-3 month OFP is extended until November 08, 2012! I enter probation and VIP (Violence Intervention Program), which lasts for 32 weeks.

    - December 2007, I'm borderline depressed. I struggle with everything. I get shot down my several jobs due to my new criminal record and probation.

    - January 2008, my son is born. I'm unable to see his birth, or even in general, due to the OFP that my ex still has against me. More employers continue to shoot me down because of my record and probation. Now that my son's here, I begin to struggle even more. All I want is to be with him.

    - February 2008, so far, I've already been shot down by one or two employers. They won't say why, but I'm used to this by now. I know exactly why: criminal record and probation.

    I'm trying my hardest to get back in with the US Postal Service, as I've done temporary work for them before, but I'm going for a permanent position this time. The pay and benefits are outstanding. Everyone there enjoyed working with me, so hopefully my story gives them a little more of incentive. I must have a job, so that I can have money, because I need a family lawyer and may need a criminal lawyer. I'm petitioning to have a Court Order put out against my ex, ordering her to show up to Family Court for a paternity test. My son is, without a doubt, mine. He looks exactly like me, but I can fight her for custody if he's not proven to be mine. I'm petitioning myself, so that I pay child support. It's the only right thing to do. I wanna be in my son's life, more than anything. I'm also petitioning to have a Court Order, ordering her to show up for court, so that I can get joint legal custody. But here's the thing; I tried filing these petitions a few weeks back, but the court clerk noticed my ex's birthdate and suggested that I get a lawyer before filing the petitions. She mentioned that the Family Court judge, though he's more concerned about our son being raised right, might bring up the age difference between my ex and I, and may question whether or not it's been dealt with in a criminal court. This scared the shiit out of me, of course. I've been through enough already. I'm the real victim here! So, would it be a good idea to hire a family lawyer and a criminal lawyer? I have lawyers lined up, but I just need to pay them. They're some of the best in my area. I'd just rather spend the money for a criminal attorney and have him there, just to be safe. Or, would this not be necessary? I've heard that the Family Court couldn't do anything to me because 1) he cares about the child and the child only 2) a charge was already pursued against me, but dropped and 3) I'm already serving a sentence and the judge can't infringe upon it.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if this seemed like so much to read. I'm grateful for you taking your time to read this. This wasn't easy. I constantly have to discuss this, write about it, think about it, etc. It seems to help at times.

    Thought I would contribute somehow,

  2. Quote Originally Posted by T-Bone View Post
    Thought I would contribute somehow,

    I really liked how it started. It sounded cute and sincere, especially with the baby talking, but then I just rocked out and laughed during the rest of the song.

    Nice addition to the thread!

  3. Okay...

    So, come to find out, I will no longer need a criminal attorney. I can't be touched because of the age difference since I was already charged and convicted of another charge in the case.

    With that said, I'm gonna be going to family court soon and turning in my application for counsel, and the petitions for paternity and custody/visitation. An appointed lawyer in family court should be enough because all of them, including the judge, believe that the child should have both parents in his or her life. But if I'm dragging her into court, I'm concerned that her and her father will fork out big bucks to get a lawyer to try and fight my legal rights as the baby's father.

    So far, I feel the need to mention that my ex's mother is violent and has a violent past. I never hit my ex, but she had been physically abusive towards me for quite some time. She ended up cheating on me while pregnant with my child. That's clearly wrong, but she has the right to make her own decisions and what she feels is right for her, even though I may not always agree with what she does. The male individual and I got into a fight, which is why I got arrested. I'll make it clear to the judge about what happened between them, I'll claim that I acted in 'self-defense,' and mention that I tried going to the police department to file assault charges against my ex's mother and the other guy she was seeing, but the police turned me away. She still has 1 1/2 years of high school left and plans on going to college downstate. Her father and mother both work day shifts, but when she's home from school, she's able to do whatever she wants. Her and I got pregnant, didn't we? Her father doesn't keep the best tabs on her.

    Also, should I mention anything about when my ex came to me and I violated the OFP, and she told me that the judge and ADA said the OFP would be dropped once I started work, but was never dropped? She was seeing 2 other guys at one point, but then went back to the loser she cheated on me with. I know she's purposely holding up the OFP because she's jealous that I've moved on and she wants me to fight this guy again, but I refuse to. It's clear that I'm obviously trying to be replaced as my own son's father. Her parents, especially her mother, are encouraging her to behave this way.

    Her father was 17 when he got a 15 or 16 year old girl pregnant. The girl he was dating threatened to have an abortion, but then kept the baby. Her family pushed him out of his first child's life. After 20+ years, he has yet to have done anything at all for his child. Why? Because his high school sweetheart's family pushed him away. I'm at least trying to fight this and protect my rights. He never did anything. I just don't know how relevant this would be in family court. He's just the best example of a hypocrite.

    I do believe that, in my case and due to the circumstances, that maybe the family court judge can grant me relief and drop the OFP on his own.


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