If you have kids/been divorced/in court/on probation, PLEASE READ!
- 02-08-2008, 10:09 AMBoard Sponsor
- 5'3" 126 lbs.
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
As far as the things you brought up about your ex, I wold let the attorney decide whats relevant.
The courts offered mediation first. I was required to see the mediator whether I wanted to or not. Our case was deemed not appropriate for mediation. But ask your attorney. You can meet with your ex and her attorney in your attorneys office and hammer out an agreement.
- 02-08-2008, 11:06 AM
You raise some good points. You need an experienced attorney. If you are not working you need a job to show you are being responsible. You will need the money for the child support.
- 02-08-2008, 11:54 AM
Thanks again for all the help. I really do appreciate it.
02-08-2008, 11:57 AM
02-08-2008, 03:53 PM
- 5'3" 126 lbs.
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
As far as the lawyer mediation. There are not court orders for this either. Its totally up to your ex whether she wants to work it out, out of court. If she does then its over. You have your lawyer call hers and set up a date and time to meet. You try to come to an agreement, this may take several meetings. But the sooner you agree the less your lawyers cost I dropped the support my ex owed me by $300 a month to keep it out of court. Does it hurt me now, hell yes! But I still ended up with a $3000 retainer and $2000 more to the lawyer by the time it was over.
So anyway, you can agree on an amount for support. The lawyers will do a child support worksheet so she knows what the state would have you pay. You both need to provide a months pay checks. You can agree on an amount, visitation etc..have the lawyers draw it up and you two sign it, present it to the judge and its done!! But it means court if she does not agree to work it out in the office.
02-08-2008, 05:30 PM
Would I have to get a court order for a paternity test, even before going about a mediation?
02-08-2008, 10:53 PM
- 5'3" 126 lbs.
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
02-09-2008, 02:20 AM
I really need help insurance. I'm almost positive that Empire would pay for at least half of the paternity test. That's better than nothing.
02-10-2008, 02:05 AM
So, since getting a job is quite important and very relevant to my situation, I have a question:
*This only applies to those of you who've either been on probation, or know a little something about probation.
I'm halfway to becoming a NYS licensed security officer. As some of you know, I'm also on the list to go into Corrections when I turn 21 in August.
Say I get an opportunity to work for a company involved in security or law enforcement, but the position I apply/get hired for, requires me to carry a firearm. Now, probation constantly preaches about how you must get a job. They sometimes end up not liking the jobs you get opportunities to work for, but shouldn't that be tough luck for them? Why should I give up an opportunity, just because they have a problem with it? I never used a weapon against the guy who I fought with. One of my terms of probation is: No ownership or possession of a firearm. Well, if my job requires it, then I obviously have to do what my job tells me to do. Besides, it's not like I'm gonna be taking the gun outside of the workplace. It stays at work. I'll be working around others. Who would I go to in order to discuss this? My PO? The probation supervisor? The judge who dealt with my case?
Thanks for any further feedback, people. Either on the custody situation, or the job situation.
02-11-2008, 08:41 PM
I honestly doubt you can get a carry permit while on probation. I also doubt you'll be able to pass any kind of background check needed for corporate security or corrections for a few years. Probation places you under court supervision and any type of violent-related crime pretty much screws your chances at a clearence. Part of my background is military and security and I've been where you're at. Even applying to colleges is a long process now because of things like VA Tech. Luckily you're still pretty young and people will take that into account after a few years of staying out of trouble, but these are questions you should be asking your lawyer about. No offense to you or anyone on here giving you advice, but your lawyers should be the first people you turn to, not us. They'll be able to tell you what you have to disclose on an application and what you don't.
02-12-2008, 04:44 PM
02-13-2008, 12:37 AM
02-21-2008, 02:00 PM
So, come to find out, I will no longer need a criminal attorney. I can't be touched because of the age difference since I was already charged and convicted of another charge in the case.
With that said, I'm gonna be going to family court soon and turning in my application for counsel, and the petitions for paternity and custody/visitation. An appointed lawyer in family court should be enough because all of them, including the judge, believe that the child should have both parents in his or her life. But if I'm dragging her into court, I'm concerned that her and her father will fork out big bucks to get a lawyer to try and fight my legal rights as the baby's father.
So far, I feel the need to mention that my ex's mother is violent and has a violent past. I never hit my ex, but she had been physically abusive towards me for quite some time. She ended up cheating on me while pregnant with my child. That's clearly wrong, but she has the right to make her own decisions and what she feels is right for her, even though I may not always agree with what she does. The male individual and I got into a fight, which is why I got arrested. I'll make it clear to the judge about what happened between them, I'll claim that I acted in 'self-defense,' and mention that I tried going to the police department to file assault charges against my ex's mother and the other guy she was seeing, but the police turned me away. She still has 1 1/2 years of high school left and plans on going to college downstate. Her father and mother both work day shifts, but when she's home from school, she's able to do whatever she wants. Her and I got pregnant, didn't we? Her father doesn't keep the best tabs on her.
Also, should I mention anything about when my ex came to me and I violated the OFP, and she told me that the judge and ADA said the OFP would be dropped once I started work, but was never dropped? She was seeing 2 other guys at one point, but then went back to the loser she cheated on me with. I know she's purposely holding up the OFP because she's jealous that I've moved on and she wants me to fight this guy again, but I refuse to. It's clear that I'm obviously trying to be replaced as my own son's father. Her parents, especially her mother, are encouraging her to behave this way.
Her father was 17 when he got a 15 or 16 year old girl pregnant. The girl he was dating threatened to have an abortion, but then kept the baby. Her family pushed him out of his first child's life. After 20+ years, he has yet to have done anything at all for his child. Why? Because his high school sweetheart's family pushed him away. I'm at least trying to fight this and protect my rights. He never did anything. I just don't know how relevant this would be in family court. He's just the best example of a hypocrite.
I do believe that, in my case and due to the circumstances, that maybe the family court judge can grant me relief and drop the OFP on his own.
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