If you have kids/been divorced/in court/on probation, PLEASE READ!
- 02-05-2008, 01:59 PM
- 02-05-2008, 02:01 PM
02-05-2008, 02:08 PM
02-05-2008, 06:37 PM
02-05-2008, 07:55 PM
02-05-2008, 08:25 PM
My ex's father has had sole custody over her for years. Her mother has always had issues and still does. Her mother always gives her and her father a hard time. Her mother didn't have the best life growing up, so that could possibly contribute to why she is the way she is. She's just very spiteful, rude, and downright mean. She always knew better than to hit my ex in front of me because I would've gone crazy. I'm against child abuse and I won't even be spanking my child. I don't believe in it.
My ex's mother now tells people that she's 'afraid' of me. Well, hm. I'd be afraid of somebody who I falsely accused and put into jail, too.
02-06-2008, 04:24 AM
Damn man you are a trooper.......all i can say is keep on keeping on.........and i do believe that if you get in front of the judge and make it clear you find her mother a threat to your, your ex's, and your child's continued health, the judge will make it clear the child is not to stay with her. he can require there be others around when she see her grandson, if she chooses to see him. ill talk to my sister a bit more about all this.......she is currently finishing up law school and is very knowledgeable about these kind of cases
02-06-2008, 09:05 AM
You can get your lawyer to go in and file a temporary visitation schedule that will enable you to see your son while the court stuff is going on.
You can pull police reports and get statements from family , people who know the exs mom, etc to write documents for you stating her violence.
02-06-2008, 02:31 PM
I'll talk to my family lawyer about pulling up any possible records about my ex's mother. I doubt I'll be able to get statements from friends or family members of hers. They wouldn't give me statements that would help me get what my ex's mother doesn't want.
All I know is, if my ex and her father go to court and try fighting my attempt to get just joint custody, then they truly are selfish and possessive people. It'll be out in the open. It'll be clear.
I won't be surprised if my ex and/or her mother get charged with perjury. They constantly lie. I've heard that this judge in family court has a nack for people who lie and talk shiit. He'll be able to tell if my ex is lying, kissing his ass, sucking up, etc. That'll be interesting to see. Her and her family need to hear my rights be established, by the judge himself, or else they won't believe what anybody says. They think they know it all, so they go by what they think they know. This will be a wakeup call for their family, especially my ex. I know she'll eventually hold this against me. She's the kind of person who would say something like, "You think you're such a big man by taking me to court?" She'd just throw things in my face, be rude, etc., even if I'm willing to maintain a friendship with her. She doesn't understand, I must do this for our son and myself. I have rights and I want them protected.
02-06-2008, 02:33 PM
02-06-2008, 03:26 PM
Well actually its for your benefit to get temp visitation papers. Then if she refuses your right to see him its on record. It keeps either party from running with the baby and sets up a pattern of proving that you have showed up on time and dropped him off on time , clean , fed etc..Its for use in court as well.
You can get statements from your friends or people who have witnessed the behavior as well.
02-06-2008, 04:13 PM
These papers will eventually lead up to me getting joint custody, so long as I prove myself to be a fit father, correct?
I have a few friends and family members who have either witnessed or heard about my ex's mother's crazy behavior. Hopefully there will be some kind of records to pull up.
02-06-2008, 05:14 PM
I know with my ex if he does not show up on time I can deny him his visitation. It also shows contempt for the court order and will result in her losing credibility with the judge.
My lawyer had people hand write statements on my exs behavior to give to the judge, it showed patterns, but it had to be things they actually witnessed. Can't be things they heard about.
02-06-2008, 05:55 PM
So, if I get temporary visitation papers and my ex fails to show up on time, whether she's picking my son up or dropping him off, then she can get in trouble for that? There'd be nothing that I could deny her.
02-07-2008, 06:45 AM
Keep the advice coming, ladies and gents! I really appreciate all of the support you've shown me so far. It really does mean an awful lot. I know my son would thank you, too, if only he could speak at being a few weeks old.
02-07-2008, 08:49 AM
But if she isnt there when you go to pick him up you can call the police.
02-07-2008, 01:04 PM
How would this change my visitation rights? Until joint legal custody could be established, and if she and I were able to remain friends, she'd still wanna come visit me at home, want me to go there, and take me out with them to do things. She seems to be two-faced sometimes. But from what I've heard, her friends state that she claims to really miss me and want me around.
What if she's not at her house, but her father is? I could still call the police? That sounds like something she'd do. What if I were to call the police because she wasn't home? What would I tell them?But if she isnt there when you go to pick him up you can call the police.
You seem to know an awful lot about these kinds of situations and have lived through quite a bit of it with your own children. I really appreciate the advice you've given me. It means so much. Thank you.
02-07-2008, 02:16 PM
[QUOTE=MuscleGuyinNY;1196262]How would this change my visitation rights? /QUOTE]
if she was breastfeeding you would not be able to take the baby away from her as babies do not eat on a certain schedule but on demand. Since she is not breastfeeding this is not an issue.
How many month is the baby.
Do you have things set up at home to properly take care of the baby? This is not a small task.
02-07-2008, 02:42 PM
I know that my visitation schedule would be difficult, if she were to be breastfeeding, but she isn't. Even if she were, I've seen her breasts plenty of times before. She wouldn't mind me going there and she wouldn't mind coming over to my place. It's weird how she can be so mean at times, but at other times, be so easy to get along with and always wants to be around me. I spoil her and treat her so well, though, which she probably misses. I treat her too well.
Our son is only a couple of weeks old right now. He'll be a month old on the 19th and I have yet to be able to see him. It disgusts me.
02-07-2008, 02:50 PM
02-07-2008, 02:54 PM
02-07-2008, 03:01 PM
02-07-2008, 03:08 PM
02-07-2008, 03:44 PM
If she were breastfeeding then you would lose overnight visits. Temp visitation gives you weekend time with your son alone, overnight! Say Fri-Sun. So since he is bottle fed no big deal.
The only way you could call the police is if she hid the baby from you on your court appt days. So say you get temp Fri-Sun night and you are ordered to pick him up at 6pm on Fri. If the baby is not ready and waiting on you then you can call them.
You need to stock up on formula, diapers, a carseat, and a crib or bassinet( will get you through until he is old enough to roll over) etc..
You need to call your lawyer now and get the temp visitation rights in order. The longer that you maintain a relatinship with your son the better. These rights exclude the mother from being around you and grant you time alone with your son.
02-07-2008, 06:40 PM
I'm prepared and stocked up. The only thing missing now is my son.You need to stock up on formula, diapers, a carseat, and a crib or bassinet( will get you through until he is old enough to roll over) etc..
I've never been one to 'have it out' for my ex. I still love her and care about her to some degree, but her and her family have put me through way too much. She won't expect this coming from me, but it's coming. I'm hoping that it'll open her eyes a bit. I'd start to feel bad if I saw her break down in court, but I'd have to keep in mind that this is my ex, who put me in jail. She's put me through so much. "The best revenge is success," and I can't let her get away with trying to keep my son from me.You need to call your lawyer now and get the temp visitation rights in order. The longer that you maintain a relatinship with your son the better. These rights exclude the mother from being around you and grant you time alone with your son.
What if she got served with the court order and her father decided to get a lawyer? I understand that our son will have a 'guardian' in court, who'll act as his lawyer, but I'd be kinda confused if my ex were to show up with a lawyer, as if she felt she needed to defend and justify her actions of trying to keep my son from me. What would I do in that case? Would my lawyers fight that? Would the judge realize that she was going beyond the line? Her father has been a corrections officer for over 13 years. Without a doubt, he'd pony up the money for some very bogus reasons.
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