If you have kids/been divorced/in court/on probation, PLEASE READ!

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  1. Quote Originally Posted by Australian made View Post
    "The best revenge is success"................that was the title of a recentish thread. Its so true. Look it up.
    After all of the bullshiit went down and I got sentenced to probation, my first step was to prove that I could stay out of trouble. To show that probation is a better option for me than jail. This Saturday, I will have been on probation for 3 months so far. I continue to stay drug and alcohol-free, though it sometimes seems to be a struggle. I miss a drink and Mr. Green once in a while, but what matters to me is being free, with my son, and living my life. Drugs, drinking, and my ex aren't worth going to jail for. My son needs me.

    I plan on getting a full-time job. I may work a part-time job on the side, but I definitely do intend on enrolling in college courses, whether it's physically attending or registering online. I'm at least doing something to further my education. I'm gonna begin saving up for a life insurance plan for my son, as well as his education, specifically college. I will also begin saving up for my own condo on the lake and a new vehicle, which may end up being a 2008 Cadillac Escalade. My girlfriend will be staying with me and helping me with my son a lot, which of course, means absolutely everything to me. I know she'll be terrific with my son and I know he'll fall right in love with her. My ex has claimed that she regrets what she did. Well, when she can see how happy and successful I can be without her, she'll really be regretting it. But I won't be doing anything to make her jealous or to put her on a guilt trip. I'll be going all of this for my son, myself, my girlfriend, and my family.

    I don't know if you may be able to chime in on this, but someone else may. I'm planning on bringing the following people to court, on my behalf, but I'm not sure if it would make for a solid offense/defense in the courtroom, or if it'd look as if I was up to something or just trying to kiss a lot of us. I just figured that maybe it'll help me a lot;

    - My family attorney
    - My criminal attorney
    - My probation officer
    - My facilitator from VIP
    - Any counselor that I may end up seeing, of my own free will and for my own benefit
    - My boss

    The attorneys would work their own magic, of course. But my PO could explain to the judge that I've stayed out of trouble, pay all my fees, always show up on time to check in, obtained and maintained employment, failed no drug and alcohol screenings, etc. My facilitator from my group could explain how much I've progressed throughout the course, how I always participate a lot in discussion, how I've learned to cope with my emotions, etc. If I end up seeing any counselor, only as an escape and to have someone to talk to about absolutely anything, then they could always chime in on something. Last, but not least, my boss could explain to the judge that I'm a hard worker, and that I'm always willing to work overtime, which is very true. I even go in on my days off sometimes. He could explain the pay and the benefits to the judge, to help further explain that I'm well suited to care for my son, purchase a place to live, and so on and so forth.

    Would this really help make for a good, solid offense/defense, or does it seem as if I'm kissing too much ass? I just figured this would better my chances of the judge trying to charge me with Endangering and throwing my ass in jail. But, afterall, the judge realizes that the child needs both parents. If I didn't have a job and fcuked up on probation at all, or had any run-in's with the law, then maybe the judge would feel more apt to put me behind bars, but I've been avoiding anything involving partying, violence, alcohol, drugs, etc.

    Did I mention that it's election year for our local legal figures? I just mention this because, from what I hear, this judge has been very generous towards a lot of fathers.


  2. Lol yes tell him he has your vote if he keeps you out of trouble! Not sure about who to bring to court with you. It can't hurt to have support with you but i wouldn't know who or how many people to bring with you. Goodluck either way.
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by Australian made View Post
    Lol yes tell him he has your vote if he keeps you out of trouble! Not sure about who to bring to court with you. It can't hurt to have support with you but i wouldn't know who or how many people to bring with you. Goodluck either way.
    I think that, though he won't admit it, the fact that I'm a registered voter and a father, will probably help pursuade him a little bit. I definitely would vote for him if he ends up helping me out and keeps me out of trouble.

    My family and girlfriend will definitely be there for support, and maybe a few of my close friends. I just figured my lawyers, facilitator, PO, and boss would be very legitimate sources, especially the lawyers and my PO. He'll take what they say for it's worth and more seriously than he would take what I'd say. But I am definitely gonna man up and tell him that I'm requesting to be court-ordered to pay child support. I'm putting it down as a term on my petition for court. I wanna do that and I'm thinking the judge may end up highly respecting that.

    Thanks for your support.

  4. it doesn't hurt to have a solid showing on your side

  5. Wow bro, it's amazing that you've been able to deal with all of that and are still positive. I can't even imagine the stuff you've been through. You are a great father. There are many people in the world who wouldn't fight as hard as you are to be able to raise your son.

    I can't believe your girl put you through all of this sh*t. At first I was comparing it to the disaster of my first relationship, but there is not way I can fully comprehend what all you've been through. I know you want your ex to be just as big a figure in your son's lift, but I hope he likes you more.

    It took stones to let the board in on your troubles but I'm glad there's been such a strong showing of support for you.

    You were asking about who all you should bring to represent you. I say the more the merrier. Anyone who isn't biased, like a PO or the VP facilitator would be great additions to your defense.

    Good luck bro, you've got friends here.
    "I am legally blind and if I can Squat,deadlift and over all get myself to the gym then anyone can get their a$$ in gear and get strong!!" - malleus25
    WHITE WHALE!
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  6. tattoopierced1
    tattoopierced1's Avatar

    You gotta control that temper, especially for your child. I know it can be hard to do, but you HAVE to for you son. You sound like a decent guy that made a bad decision and have somewhat of a temper.. your ex knew this. Do what you can for your son, but most importantly, let petty fighting to the wayside...there is no point in it.

  7. Well, most people refuse to work at fastfood resturants because America has been way too kind to them thus far. McDonald's also has tuition reimbursement.

    Not to be a ****, but I am offering a solution to your problem as it stands. If something else comes along better then that's great, but McDonald's does offer benefits to full-time workers.

    Everyday that you do not work, you are losing out on what you could be making in that day. (Opportunity Cost....for all you econ. buffs).

  8. Quote Originally Posted by TheMyth View Post
    hey man, that really blows, and it is so unfair the way guys get treated in the court of law. no matter what happens, its always the guys fault, even if the biitch slaps you over the head with a frying pan and shoots you, you go to jail for domestic abuse. Stupid court system. You should just hire someone to kick the **** out of the guy that she cheated with, kick his ass fight club style 'till he is unrecognizable, then sue him for harrasment. Now what to do with the BIITCH, hmmmm. Well, since the kid needs a mom, its hard to say I would really want to get her back some how., Maybe have "break up sex" and RAM her so hard that it destroys her Vag and she is unable to have another baby and then everytime she goes to take a wiz it will hurt, making her think of you. Or maybe take some high dose Clomid and pull a Blow Job Betty on her.

    Thank you TheMyth. This is incredible and brought a tear to my eye

  9. do your attorneys need to talk to each other. Have they done this.

    Any job is better than no job.

    No matter how angry you are you must stay out of trouble and follow the rules of your probation.

    It is great that you are looking to pay child support. Is there a way that you can get visitation rights as well. The sooner you start to have interaction with your son the more your anger may go away and you will start developing a special bond with your son. Do not pick your son up at your ex's alone as you should go with another person to make sure no conflict occurs.
  10. tattoopierced1
    tattoopierced1's Avatar

    Quote Originally Posted by evankyle View Post
    do your attorneys need to talk to each other. Have they done this.

    Any job is better than no job.

    No matter how angry you are you must stay out of trouble and follow the rules of your probation.

    It is great that you are looking to pay child support. Is there a way that you can get visitation rights as well. The sooner you start to have interaction with your son the more your anger may go away and you will start developing a special bond with your son. Do not pick your son up at your ex's alone as you should go with another person to make sure no conflict occurs.
    record everything. Go out and buy a small personal recorder and any interaction you have with any of them, record.

  11. I must say I'm biased on this one.

    But most important where you mention telling your son what has happened, I have 3 kids and am divorced. You have no right to burden your child with the sins of the mother. Your relationship failure has nothing to do with how she parents her son. Children deserve the right to love both parents without taking on your issues.

  12. Quote Originally Posted by tattoopierced1 View Post
    You gotta control that temper, especially for your child. I know it can be hard to do, but you HAVE to for you son. You sound like a decent guy that made a bad decision and have somewhat of a temper.. your ex knew this. Do what you can for your son, but most importantly, let petty fighting to the wayside...there is no point in it.
    I agree with this! My ex took my kids from a babysitter and ran with them for almost 3 months. He would not let me talk to them or see them, all because he did not want to pay child support. My kids still have issues from this. But we get along now, the ex and I, at least for the kids sake.

  13. Quote Originally Posted by crader View Post
    I must say I'm biased on this one.

    But most important where you mention telling your son what has happened, I have 3 kids and am divorced. You have no right to burden your child with the sins of the mother. Your relationship failure has nothing to do with how she parents her son. Children deserve the right to love both parents without taking on your issues.
    So true. "Mommy and Daddy didn't get along very well" is about all the kid needs to know.

  14. Quote Originally Posted by ReaperX View Post
    Thank you TheMyth. This is incredible and brought a tear to my eye
    thanks man. I still think its the way to go. Megadose that clomid and bust that fatal nut Blow Job Betty style. You can't be held responsible if she willingly swallows!

  15. Quote Originally Posted by crader View Post
    I agree with this! My ex took my kids from a babysitter and ran with them for almost 3 months. He would not let me talk to them or see them, all because he did not want to pay child support. My kids still have issues from this. But we get along now, the ex and I, at least for the kids sake.
    Children are very curious and will ask a lot of questions. Even some we don't feel comfortable answering. I'm not talking about telling him as a toddler or a teen. Someday, when he's all grown up, he may wanna know why and how his mother and I 'didn't get along.' I'm not gonna make something up and lie to him. My ex loves to lie. She lies to everybody. I don't. I can be blunt and brutally honest. I can be critical, but I usually try being constructive about it. I'm just one of those people. I'm especially not gonna hide anything from my son. If he doesn't ask, then I won't tell. I'd never say horrible things just to have it out for my ex, though. She made a mistake. She'll regret it, if she isn't already. I've moved on. She'll just have to accept that. I'm wanting to maintain a friendship with my ex, as we've gone through so much. If not for each other, then for our son. He deserves to have both of us in his life. He deserves to be surrounded by love. He doesn't deserve to face any consequences from this situation. He did nothing wrong. I just hope that he knows and feels that his daddy wanted to be there this whole time. Babies and children are much more intelligent than we think.

  16. Quote Originally Posted by TheMyth View Post
    thanks man. I still think its the way to go. Megadose that clomid and bust that fatal nut Blow Job Betty style. You can't be held responsible if she willingly swallows!
    You need to be a motivational speaker. That is by far the funniest thing I've read all week.
    "I am legally blind and if I can Squat,deadlift and over all get myself to the gym then anyone can get their a$$ in gear and get strong!!" - malleus25
    WHITE WHALE!

  17. Quote Originally Posted by TheMyth View Post
    thanks man. I still think its the way to go. Megadose that clomid and bust that fatal nut Blow Job Betty style. You can't be held responsible if she willingly swallows!
    Are we talking about a huge load or poisonous/contaminated semen now?

  18. Quote Originally Posted by tattoopierced1 View Post
    record everything. Go out and buy a small personal recorder and any interaction you have with any of them, record.
    I'm not sure if the law exists in just some individual states, or if it exists all throughout the country, but I do believe (I could be wrong, as laws constantly change) that recording somebody's person or voice, without them knowing it, is illegal. But, like I said, I could be wrong. Should I tell them that I'm recording them, or no? I guess I could always purchase a personal recorder, turn it on, and put it in my pocket, for whenever I go over to my ex's house to pick my son up.

  19. Quote Originally Posted by TheMyth View Post
    HUGE load!
    Are you fcuking serious!?

    How does the Clomid manage to do that?

    I can't believe that I'm actually finding your idea to be enlightening. To megadose Clomid, get my ex to deepthroat me, then gag her and make her choke on a thick load of my manjuice.

    How much are we talking here?

  20. the recording is only an issue over the phone so far as I know. Recording in person interactions is different.

  21. Quote Originally Posted by EasyEJL View Post
    the recording is only an issue over the phone so far as I know. Recording in person interactions is different.
    Hm, I didn't know that. I should get a recorder then. It'd help me out in the longrun, especially if my ex or anyone in her family insists on making any wild and crazy accusations.

    Now, I'm worried about my ex leaving our son with her mother. I do believe my ex is much smarter (we've talked about it several times before) than to leave him with her mother. Her mother has a nasty past with CPS. She used to abuse my ex while she was growing up and still continues to. She abused her ex-husband, too. Oh, and let's not forget about her assaulting me. She also recently tried making accusations towards my mother at work (they both work at the hospital) and my mother almost lost her job. My ex's mother gets a kick out of all this. I already heard a rumor that she supposively said that she wasn't gonna have much to do with her grandson. Most likely because he's partly mine. I wouldn't put it past her, to hurt him just to hurt him, or to even try setting me up and calling the cops on me. I'm worried about him being abused. I'm extremely worried about this. I understand that while he's in my ex's custody, she can parent him how she wants and the same goes for me. But, what if I feel my ex's mother is a threat to him and my ex leaves him with her while she's at school or work? Am I allowed to call Social Services and for a police escort, and go pick up my son? Afterall, I have more rights to my son than his grandmother.

  22. do you know if there ever were any actual calls in to the police on her for the abuse?

  23. Quote Originally Posted by MuscleGuyinNY View Post
    Are you fcuking serious!?

    How does the Clomid manage to do that?

    I can't believe that I'm actually finding your idea to be enlightening. To megadose Clomid, get my ex to deepthroat me, then gag her and make her choke on a thick load of my manjuice.

    How much are we talking here?
    Read up on clomid! Peter North style loads are for real!

  24. Quote Originally Posted by EasyEJL View Post
    do you know if there ever were any actual calls in to the police on her for the abuse?
    I just know about it from my ex and her father. I've also seen marks and bruises on my ex, and I've heard her mother hit her, whether it be in the next room or over the phone. But my ex will hit her back. So...
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