If you have kids/been divorced/in court/on probation, PLEASE READ!
- 02-05-2008, 04:28 AM
I plan on getting a full-time job. I may work a part-time job on the side, but I definitely do intend on enrolling in college courses, whether it's physically attending or registering online. I'm at least doing something to further my education. I'm gonna begin saving up for a life insurance plan for my son, as well as his education, specifically college. I will also begin saving up for my own condo on the lake and a new vehicle, which may end up being a 2008 Cadillac Escalade. My girlfriend will be staying with me and helping me with my son a lot, which of course, means absolutely everything to me. I know she'll be terrific with my son and I know he'll fall right in love with her. My ex has claimed that she regrets what she did. Well, when she can see how happy and successful I can be without her, she'll really be regretting it. But I won't be doing anything to make her jealous or to put her on a guilt trip. I'll be going all of this for my son, myself, my girlfriend, and my family.
I don't know if you may be able to chime in on this, but someone else may. I'm planning on bringing the following people to court, on my behalf, but I'm not sure if it would make for a solid offense/defense in the courtroom, or if it'd look as if I was up to something or just trying to kiss a lot of us. I just figured that maybe it'll help me a lot;
- My family attorney
- My criminal attorney
- My probation officer
- My facilitator from VIP
- Any counselor that I may end up seeing, of my own free will and for my own benefit
- My boss
The attorneys would work their own magic, of course. But my PO could explain to the judge that I've stayed out of trouble, pay all my fees, always show up on time to check in, obtained and maintained employment, failed no drug and alcohol screenings, etc. My facilitator from my group could explain how much I've progressed throughout the course, how I always participate a lot in discussion, how I've learned to cope with my emotions, etc. If I end up seeing any counselor, only as an escape and to have someone to talk to about absolutely anything, then they could always chime in on something. Last, but not least, my boss could explain to the judge that I'm a hard worker, and that I'm always willing to work overtime, which is very true. I even go in on my days off sometimes. He could explain the pay and the benefits to the judge, to help further explain that I'm well suited to care for my son, purchase a place to live, and so on and so forth.
Would this really help make for a good, solid offense/defense, or does it seem as if I'm kissing too much ass? I just figured this would better my chances of the judge trying to charge me with Endangering and throwing my ass in jail. But, afterall, the judge realizes that the child needs both parents. If I didn't have a job and fcuked up on probation at all, or had any run-in's with the law, then maybe the judge would feel more apt to put me behind bars, but I've been avoiding anything involving partying, violence, alcohol, drugs, etc.
Did I mention that it's election year for our local legal figures? I just mention this because, from what I hear, this judge has been very generous towards a lot of fathers.
- 02-05-2008, 04:59 AM
Lol yes tell him he has your vote if he keeps you out of trouble! Not sure about who to bring to court with you. It can't hurt to have support with you but i wouldn't know who or how many people to bring with you. Goodluck either way.
02-05-2008, 05:08 AM
My family and girlfriend will definitely be there for support, and maybe a few of my close friends. I just figured my lawyers, facilitator, PO, and boss would be very legitimate sources, especially the lawyers and my PO. He'll take what they say for it's worth and more seriously than he would take what I'd say. But I am definitely gonna man up and tell him that I'm requesting to be court-ordered to pay child support. I'm putting it down as a term on my petition for court. I wanna do that and I'm thinking the judge may end up highly respecting that.
Thanks for your support.
02-05-2008, 06:02 AM
02-05-2008, 07:55 AM
Wow bro, it's amazing that you've been able to deal with all of that and are still positive. I can't even imagine the stuff you've been through. You are a great father. There are many people in the world who wouldn't fight as hard as you are to be able to raise your son.
I can't believe your girl put you through all of this sh*t. At first I was comparing it to the disaster of my first relationship, but there is not way I can fully comprehend what all you've been through. I know you want your ex to be just as big a figure in your son's lift, but I hope he likes you more.
It took stones to let the board in on your troubles but I'm glad there's been such a strong showing of support for you.
You were asking about who all you should bring to represent you. I say the more the merrier. Anyone who isn't biased, like a PO or the VP facilitator would be great additions to your defense.
Good luck bro, you've got friends here.
"I am legally blind and if I can Squat,deadlift and over all get myself to the gym then anyone can get their a$$ in gear and get strong!!" - malleus25
02-05-2008, 08:01 AM
You gotta control that temper, especially for your child. I know it can be hard to do, but you HAVE to for you son. You sound like a decent guy that made a bad decision and have somewhat of a temper.. your ex knew this. Do what you can for your son, but most importantly, let petty fighting to the wayside...there is no point in it.
02-05-2008, 08:09 AM
Well, most people refuse to work at fastfood resturants because America has been way too kind to them thus far. McDonald's also has tuition reimbursement.
Not to be a ****, but I am offering a solution to your problem as it stands. If something else comes along better then that's great, but McDonald's does offer benefits to full-time workers.
Everyday that you do not work, you are losing out on what you could be making in that day. (Opportunity Cost....for all you econ. buffs).
02-05-2008, 08:38 AM
02-05-2008, 10:18 AM
do your attorneys need to talk to each other. Have they done this.
Any job is better than no job.
No matter how angry you are you must stay out of trouble and follow the rules of your probation.
It is great that you are looking to pay child support. Is there a way that you can get visitation rights as well. The sooner you start to have interaction with your son the more your anger may go away and you will start developing a special bond with your son. Do not pick your son up at your ex's alone as you should go with another person to make sure no conflict occurs.
02-05-2008, 10:39 AM
02-05-2008, 11:29 AM
I must say I'm biased on this one.
But most important where you mention telling your son what has happened, I have 3 kids and am divorced. You have no right to burden your child with the sins of the mother. Your relationship failure has nothing to do with how she parents her son. Children deserve the right to love both parents without taking on your issues.
02-05-2008, 11:32 AM
02-05-2008, 12:15 PM
02-05-2008, 12:33 PM
02-05-2008, 01:11 PM
02-05-2008, 01:13 PM
02-05-2008, 01:13 PM
02-05-2008, 01:18 PM
02-05-2008, 01:19 PM
02-05-2008, 01:21 PM
How does the Clomid manage to do that?
I can't believe that I'm actually finding your idea to be enlightening. To megadose Clomid, get my ex to deepthroat me, then gag her and make her choke on a thick load of my manjuice.
How much are we talking here?
02-05-2008, 01:21 PM
the recording is only an issue over the phone so far as I know. Recording in person interactions is different.
02-05-2008, 01:27 PM
Now, I'm worried about my ex leaving our son with her mother. I do believe my ex is much smarter (we've talked about it several times before) than to leave him with her mother. Her mother has a nasty past with CPS. She used to abuse my ex while she was growing up and still continues to. She abused her ex-husband, too. Oh, and let's not forget about her assaulting me. She also recently tried making accusations towards my mother at work (they both work at the hospital) and my mother almost lost her job. My ex's mother gets a kick out of all this. I already heard a rumor that she supposively said that she wasn't gonna have much to do with her grandson. Most likely because he's partly mine. I wouldn't put it past her, to hurt him just to hurt him, or to even try setting me up and calling the cops on me. I'm worried about him being abused. I'm extremely worried about this. I understand that while he's in my ex's custody, she can parent him how she wants and the same goes for me. But, what if I feel my ex's mother is a threat to him and my ex leaves him with her while she's at school or work? Am I allowed to call Social Services and for a police escort, and go pick up my son? Afterall, I have more rights to my son than his grandmother.
02-05-2008, 01:42 PM
02-05-2008, 01:43 PM
02-05-2008, 01:58 PM
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