Freq's Chuck Norris thread, bring it on.

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  1. Freq's Chuck Norris thread, bring it on.


    Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.


  2. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep....He waits.

  3. Before the boogey man goes to sleep, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris
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  4. Quote Originally Posted by Gixxer82 View Post
    chuck norris runs in fear from gixxer82
    boo that one wasnt funny!

  5. America is not a Democracy, its a Chucktatorship.


  6. Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and roundhouse kick himself in the back of the head

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Gixxer82 View Post
    chuck norris runs in fear from gixxer82
    Ya becasue he still has stitches in his butthole from what you did to it 2 weeks ago.

  8. Who is Chuck Norris?

  9. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

  10. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

  11. The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


    Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

  12. Quote Originally Posted by CNorris View Post
    Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
    Oh my god!!! hahahahahaha

  13. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  14. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

  15. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

  16. some nutrition/workout tips from Chuck Norris himself:

    Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.


    After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

  17. Hey, welcome to last year.....when this was newer and not beaten into the ground.

  18. Chuck Norris sucks! YEA bring it on mofo's. This shyt was Vin Deisal a few years ago too...
    Lame. Sorry guys but it just is at this point.

  19. another chuck thread....

  20. Quote Originally Posted by CNorris View Post
    Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
    i think i just wet myself...........

  21. Quote Originally Posted by MentalTwitch View Post
    Chuck Norris sucks! YEA bring it on mofo's. This shyt was Vin Deisal a few years ago too...
    Lame. Sorry guys but it just is at this point.
    Watch your mouth. Vin Diesel isnt worthy to sniff Chuck Norris farts.

  22. Just when you think you've heard all the Chuck Norris facts that you can handle...you haven't.

    Kind of like Margaritaville.

  23. Quote Originally Posted by CNorris View Post
    Watch your mouth. Vin Diesel isnt worthy to sniff Chuck Norris farts.
    Ill fart on you Chuck Norris!

  24. Quote Originally Posted by CNorris View Post

    Chuck Norris puts the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter.’

    I think this one might be the best ever...
    I actually laughed loud enough to get people to turn and look into my office. Good ****

  25. There is no chin underneath Chuck Norris' beard..... only another fist.

  26. Quote Originally Posted by Jayhawkk View Post
    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

    I laughed at this yesterday and to make sure it was still funny I read it again today. Yep, I'm still laughing. lol.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

  27. Quote Originally Posted by natedogg View Post
    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
    lol i think this one is my new favourite.

  28. Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus

  29. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

  30. Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norric

  31. Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.

  32. When Bruce Banner get angry, he turns into the Incredible Hulk. When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.

    If tapped, Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick can power the country of Austrailia for 42 minutes.

    The Earth does not revolve around the Sun, the Sun revolves around Chuck Norris.

  33. Quote Originally Posted by CNorris View Post
    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
    these are the best off all time. LMFAO!

    CNorris, youve probably heard them all....you got the funniest ones by far.

  34. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass... At night.

  35. I'm not a very political person, but this is a brilliant "policy message"! This one's for you Irish Cannon:

    RcB Since 09-06-2011 20:55 EST, Post 49

  36. Quote Originally Posted by stxnas View Post
    I'm not a very political person, but this is a brilliant "policy message"! This one's for you Irish Cannon:

    ROFL thats awesome!! I like Fred Thompson but Huckabee seems OK.

  37. OMG, that was great.

  38. Laugh Out Loud
  

  
 

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