Addicted to Muscle/Size???

[Cuffs]

After thinking about it and how it is pertaining to me, I thought I'd start up a discussion on muscle/size addiction.

I've been training for many years, but consistently for the past 4 years. As of last year, I keep hearing how "big" I am. People stare, make comments to my face and behind my back, compare themselves to where I'm at and to where they are, etc. I'm 5'-11" and my weight will flutcuate between 245lbs at the end of a bulk and 205lbs after cutting...give or take.

When I moved last year, I started going to a new gym. This gym has a lot more people with some size. More so than the last gym I belonged to. For some reason, I now feel "small." I know I'm not, but I can't help but feel that way. I'm pushing either the same, or more weight than a lot of the other bigger dudes in there. I was just used to being one of the bigger dudes at my old gym and I'm now average/above-average. I try to not compare myself to others and I even to cover myself up a bit more while at the gym, but it's hard not to look and wonder how you look to others.

My chick keeps telling me I'm "big" and affectionately refers to me as a guerrilla. She tells me she would actually like to see me lose some muscle. One of her guy friends constantly refers to me as "White Kong." One dude I just started working with was making comments on the size of my arms the other day as we sat around bullsh*ting at the office. However, with all these comments I still don't see myself as being "big." I look at myself in the mirror and I know I am muscular, but I think it's like anything else. Once you get to a certain point, you want MORE. Like money, material things, louder stereos, louder pipes on your Harley, etc.

It recently got to this point. I had a cutting cycle all laid out and ready to go. At the last moment, I changed it to a bulking cycle because I feel I need more size. I started this cycle 4 weeks ago at 215lbs. Right now I'm 228lbs. So, the cycle is going good, as far as it being a bulking.

I'm just wondering if I will ever be at a physical point where I will be satisfied. I have a goal for this next year and that is to be in the best physcal shape of my life when the big 4-0h my god...gets here.

I don't know if others here have experienced the same things I currently am. If so, please share.

 

[kwyckemynd00]

Tell them all to STFU and lick ur balls b/c all the test has ur libido goin' nuts (No pun intended)

Are we addicted to size? yeah...are we addicted to sex? yeah....should we try to correct these problems? fvck no!

k, therapy is over...

 

[Cuffs]

LOL...kwyck. I guess what I'm getting at is why am I not satisfied with what progress I make? Why is it that I want to get bigger? I have a fear when I cut that I'm going to lose everything and look sucked up, which I know wouldn't happen.

Now as far a sex goes, I hope I never lose that addiction. Although, my chick wishes I'd give her a break at times. She finally met a dude that wears her out...lol.

 

[kwyckemynd00]

Muscular Dysmorphia...

 

[BigCasino]

As of last year, I keep hearing how "big" I am. People stare, make comments to my face and behind my back, compare themselves to where I'm at and to where they are, etc.

However, with all these comments I still don't see myself as being "big." I look at myself in the mirror and I know I am muscular, but I think it's like anything else. Once you get to a certain point, you want MORE. Like money, material things, louder stereos, louder pipes on your Harley, etc.

It has been this way for me since my senoir year of high school. I have to admit I loved the initial attention. All of my friends seemed constantly interested in my ever increasing weight and lift numbers. People were always comparing themselves to me, asking how long it would take for them to look like I did, etc. You mentioned your girlfriend having nicknames for you that reference your phsyique. I've experienced the same with girlfriends, but even more so with guy friends.

Being a senoir in high school at the time, you can imagine this all eventually went to my head. I thought I was King F-ing Kong. For the first time in years, I was really proud of the way I looked. The thing that took me by surprise was arriving at college only re-inforced this mindset. I was bigger than most of the people several years older than me.

Then I discovered the bodybuilding on the internet. Suddenly I didn't feel like King Kong anymore. All my feelings of being small came rushing back. While I compared favorably to those in my local school surroundings, comparing myself online with individuals my own age across the globe left me feeling weak. Essentially I discovered that I was only a big fish in a small pond. Now a university with 30,000 students may not sound like a small pond, but the trove of bodybuildings sites I discovered sure made it feel that way.

Flash forward to present day. I just turned 21. I've never touched a steroid or PH. I'm 5'10 - 250lbs. I'm so caught up in the addiction that I am afraid to cut, don't want to sacrifice any muscle, I keep saying I will cut after 10 more pounds. The one time I did cut, it was early on in my weightlifting career and I severely messed my body up. Starved myself after reading some dieting "articles" online(thanks Bodybuilding dot com). Working with Bobo on bulking almost two years back I was able to get back a lot of what I lost and build from there, but I am now more paranoid about loosing size than ever before.

Oh and then, like you Cuffs there is the girlfriend. She keeps telling me that it would be ok with her, if I "lost some muscle". I know the size factor is really starting to bother her, and I am not sure how to explain that I want to keep bulking to 275lbs so I don't feel "small".

I'm sure at least one person is going to suggest I seek therapy after reading my post, and I don't blame them, but brothers weightlifting is my therapy, and I ****ing love it :cheers:

 

[kwyckemynd00]

BigC man...I don't mean to go off topic, but where is your BF% right now? 250 @ 5'10 is pretty big man, especially for all natty. I just want to make sure you're not in "I've been eating too many twinkies" denial mode like I was a year or so ago.

 

[Ziricote]

BigC man...I don't mean to go off topic, but where is your BF% right now? 250 @ 5'10 is pretty big man, especially for all natty. I just want to make sure you're not in "I've been eating too many twinkies" denial mode like I was a year or so ago.

All natty? Hmm, in the opening post he said he was on a bulking cycle...
EDIT - Eep, I thought kwyckemynd00 meant Cuffs when he said BigC, disregard this post

 

[Achilles13]

I've ran into the same problem Cuffs. At my first gym I trained at, I was the biggest guy there, but then I went to a more popular gym in town where everyone trains and I am just average. TBH, yeah you want to have more size and look the best in the gym, but you are probably just fine where you at. Remember we are our own worst critics. What you are talking about on here with us in this thread, the other guys in the gym are probably saying the same thing about you. I wouldn't sweat it mang. Just my 2cc's.

 

[BigCasino]

BigC man...I don't mean to go off topic, but where is your BF% right now? 250 @ 5'10 is pretty big man, especially for all natty. I just want to make sure you're not in "I've been eating too many twinkies" denial mode like I was a year or so ago.

I understand the concern. I'm not sure what my bodyfat % is, I should probably have it tested officially @ the school here, they have those hydrostatic tanks.

I really do not eat any deserts or junk foods, I even gave up beer & booze in general (unless it is a holiday :cheers: ). I just eat a lot of food, and drink gallons of nonfat milk.

I can tell you that all my pants are size 36. I do have rather small bones / joints. I guess I can't really call myself a body builder because most bodybuilders would have called it time to cut by now. I'm deffinatley not trying to sound like wonderman here, I feel quite the opposite compared to all you folks. My deadlift is a bit over 600lbs, but I guess that is not too remarkable considering my size.

 

[Basso]

LOL...kwyck. I guess what I'm getting at is why am I not satisfied with what progress I make? Why is it that I want to get bigger?

Because your not the biggest! I am resigned to the fact that as long as I'm not the biggest or strongest I will yearn for more. When I was in my 30's I thought that surely I would outgrow this foolishness by my 40's (and my wife hoped I would) but I just turned 41 last week and I WANT MORE!! And I will continue to want more until my body says stop. Yes I'm an addict and I'm lovin every minute. Since I haven't found a local chapter of Body Builders Anonymous, I guess I will indulge my addiction...hey gimme that dumbbell!

 

[kwyckemynd00]

....
I can tell you that all my pants are size 36. ..... My deadlift is a bit over 600lbs, but I guess that is not too remarkable considering my size.

No, youre def. a big guy and youre lifts are damn impressive...just wanted to make sure the evil mr. donut wasn't taking over.

36 pant can be anything from 36 to 46" waist though, lol. My dad wears a 36 pant and has 46" belly. I'm not saying your waist is 46", lol, but the hydro tank would be a great thing to check in on.

:donut:

The only reason I brought it up was b/c you said you were gonna bulk to 275. And, I'd suggest to keep "weight gain" on the backburner and focus on muscle gain, ya know?

 

[kwyckemynd00]

Because your not the biggest! I am resigned to the fact that as long as I'm not the biggest or strongest I will yearn for more. When I was in my 30's I thought that surely I would outgrow this foolishness by my 40's (and my wife hoped I would) but I just turned 41 last week and I WANT MORE!! And I will continue to want more until my body says stop. Yes I'm an addict and I'm lovin every minute. Since I haven't found a local chapter of Body Builders Anonymous, I guess I will indulge my addiction...hey gimme that dumbbell!

And that's a good thing...wtf would you do if you didn't have the desire to keep improving in the gym? :cheers:

 

[Basso]

And that's a good thing...wtf would you do if you didn't have the desire to keep improving in the gym? :cheers:

My point exactly! I look around and people my age and 95% of 'em have one foot in the grave. Some Addictions are a good thing.

 

[mixedup]

the new term for it is bigorexia. As long it's not out of control you can be ok. If it is serioussly interfering with your life than it can be a problem like any other addiction. I too have bigorexia but it pushes me to work harder. some people have it real bad and it can be just as bad as say anorexia just reverse. As long as it doesn't interfere with normal life i'd say your fine

 

[motiv8er]

After thinking about it and how it is pertaining to me, I thought I'd start up a discussion on muscle/size addiction.

I've been training for many years, but consistently for the past 4 years. As of last year, I keep hearing how "big" I am. People stare, make comments to my face and behind my back, compare themselves to where I'm at and to where they are, etc. I'm 5'-11" and my weight will flutcuate between 245lbs at the end of a bulk and 205lbs after cutting...give or take.

When I moved last year, I started going to a new gym. This gym has a lot more people with some size. More so than the last gym I belonged to. For some reason, I now feel "small." I know I'm not, but I can't help but feel that way. I'm pushing either the same, or more weight than a lot of the other bigger dudes in there. I was just used to being one of the bigger dudes at my old gym and I'm now average/above-average. I try to not compare myself to others and I even to cover myself up a bit more while at the gym, but it's hard not to look and wonder how you look to others.

My chick keeps telling me I'm "big" and affectionately refers to me as a guerrilla. She tells me she would actually like to see me lose some muscle. One of her guy friends constantly refers to me as "White Kong." One dude I just started working with was making comments on the size of my arms the other day as we sat around bullsh*ting at the office. However, with all these comments I still don't see myself as being "big." I look at myself in the mirror and I know I am muscular, but I think it's like anything else. Once you get to a certain point, you want MORE. Like money, material things, louder stereos, louder pipes on your Harley, etc.

It recently got to this point. I had a cutting cycle all laid out and ready to go. At the last moment, I changed it to a bulking cycle because I feel I need more size. I started this cycle 4 weeks ago at 215lbs. Right now I'm 228lbs. So, the cycle is going good, as far as it being a bulking.

I'm just wondering if I will ever be at a physical point where I will be satisfied. I have a goal for this next year and that is to be in the best physcal shape of my life when the big 4-0h my god...gets here.

I don't know if others here have experienced the same things I currently am. If so, please share.

I know exactly what you mean. I am a pretty big, lean guy naturally. ( Is SD a steriod...hehehe) I feel great when I leave the gym, I am swole and content. But that feeling doesn't last. I'll see some guy who doesn't even need to lift weights who makes me disapear in his shadow. I believe it is all about perspective. I feel healthy, I am a freak, and I look good. And I am a sex fiend.

I can live with all of those ailments.

 

[spatch]

yes a lot of us on this board have this and our doctor should give us scrips to help us with our "problem" :thumbsup:

 

[Rivet]

I usually cover myself up in baggy shirt...bah

 

[size]

After thinking about it and how it is pertaining to me, I thought I'd start up a discussion on muscle/size addiction.

I can understand how one would get addicted to me, I am quite amazing.


At one point, I was constantly trying to get bigger and bigger. I had no intentions of ever becoming a professional nor did I have any desire, but I felt as though I had to get bigger. Eventually, I realized that there was no point I would get to that would make me content. For me this was when I took a step back and realized just exactly all the negatives that "size" caused me. The result, I stepped away from bodybuilding and for that I am much happier and healthier.

 

[NickyNoNames]

its all in the head man, i get the same thing, if i have a week wher ei get alot of compliments then i feel big, but if ive noticed no one has said anythign to me for awhile about it i feel small and all while being the same size. Its a vicious cycle my friends.

 

[snakebyte05]

I am can understand how one would get addicted to me, I am quite amazing.


At one point, I was constantly trying to get bigger and bigger. I had no intentions of ever becoming a professional nor did I have any desire, but I felt as though I had to get bigger. Eventually, I realized that there was no point I would get to that would make me content. For me this was when I took a step back and realized just exactly all the negatives that "size" caused me. The result, I stepped away from bodybuilding and for that I am much happier and healthier.

You no longer lift? Or you no longer lift to get larger?





I have the same problem as all. When I first started lifting I would have been happy to be anywhere around where I am now. BUt now that I am here I want more. Once again I have a size I want to be, but once I get there I doubt ill be satisfied. I have been dwelling on this for a while. I believe what I will try to do is get to that weight than take it down a notch. Lift everyweek, but not as often. Relax the diet somewhat and just enjoy where I am at. Hopefully ill be able to maintain where I am and not gain much weight.

 

[Iron Warrior]

After thinking about it and how it is pertaining to me, I thought I'd start up a discussion on muscle/size addiction.

I've been training for many years, but consistently for the past 4 years. As of last year, I keep hearing how "big" I am. People stare, make comments to my face and behind my back, compare themselves to where I'm at and to where they are, etc. I'm 5'-11" and my weight will flutcuate between 245lbs at the end of a bulk and 205lbs after cutting...give or take.

When I moved last year, I started going to a new gym. This gym has a lot more people with some size. More so than the last gym I belonged to. For some reason, I now feel "small." I know I'm not, but I can't help but feel that way. I'm pushing either the same, or more weight than a lot of the other bigger dudes in there. I was just used to being one of the bigger dudes at my old gym and I'm now average/above-average. I try to not compare myself to others and I even to cover myself up a bit more while at the gym, but it's hard not to look and wonder how you look to others.

My chick keeps telling me I'm "big" and affectionately refers to me as a guerrilla. She tells me she would actually like to see me lose some muscle. One of her guy friends constantly refers to me as "White Kong." One dude I just started working with was making comments on the size of my arms the other day as we sat around bullsh*ting at the office. However, with all these comments I still don't see myself as being "big." I look at myself in the mirror and I know I am muscular, but I think it's like anything else. Once you get to a certain point, you want MORE. Like money, material things, louder stereos, louder pipes on your Harley, etc.

It recently got to this point. I had a cutting cycle all laid out and ready to go. At the last moment, I changed it to a bulking cycle because I feel I need more size. I started this cycle 4 weeks ago at 215lbs. Right now I'm 228lbs. So, the cycle is going good, as far as it being a bulking.

I'm just wondering if I will ever be at a physical point where I will be satisfied. I have a goal for this next year and that is to be in the best physcal shape of my life when the big 4-0h my god...gets here.

I don't know if others here have experienced the same things I currently am. If so, please share.

I guess in a way we're like those mega-billionaires who crave more $$$ and the rest of us are like "WTF $300 is too much money" but to those guys it becomes a competition, just like it does to us. I was never satisfied unless I was the strongest guy on the football team, I once even left a bar because 2 dudes we're bigger then me. It's just the competitior inside of us that drives us to add more juice each cycle, and aim for more size, it's the competitior in me that has me planning future GH and IGF-1 cycles. I've lost several great girlfriends because of this but at this point in my life I would be unhappy if I wasn't training. I think I'll eventually just train to maintain and be healthy like size but right now I'm loving every moment and I wouldn't have it any other way. I guess we probably do have something in common with those mega-billionaires if you analyze things closely, and that's not always a bad thing.

 

[size]

You no longer lift? Or you no longer lift to get larger?

I still lift weights but not even close to the same degree. Now, I try to focus on being active and living healthier; to me, this includes weight lifting. I lost quite a bit of weight(lbm) from where I once was but I honestly feel much healthier and capable(I'm able to do more) than I did when I was bigger.

 

[toughchick401]

Funn even girls go through this...When I first got into powerlifting yrs ago, the easiest thing for me was legs, standing at 5'11, I have long legs, and turned it was the easiest to trian, and get great outcomes.

I would walk into my gym, shorts on, sweatshirt, and load a squat rack with the best of them,LOL for a long time I was determined to see my legs get better definiton and more muscler. It worked,

For me now, yes i still have the defined legs, but not as great as they once were, broken bones from karate, and knee surgerys has made me re think, I can still lift, still work them but for me, i swim now, run sometimes, spin class, and when i do legs on leg day, its more reps lower weight.....

I think we all go through it, nothing wrong in it enjoy it.....you work hard.....

 

[Apowerz6]

The term is Bigorexia, and or muscle dysmorphia, both forms of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Neither of the terms are recognized by the APA, and they will not be in the DSM-IV/TR anytime soon. Now back to the point Cuffs as our own worst critics. You are big, but I think you are not the big fish anymore, you are a bass in a lake now, so now you have to be some huge assed fresh water fish now. Now keep it up, and get big, lean out and you will look bigger if not already leaned out, and use the winter to get bigger, and unviel the new cuffs next spring.

 

[BigVrunga]

I was the same way, pounding down kcal after kcal until I maxed out at 245lbs at the end of my 2nd 1test/4AD cycle about 2 years ago. Deadlifting 550, Bench was at 345, etc...and I STILL felt small and weak.

I was big, but I also was cruising at around 18%bf and would have to catch my breath after walking up a couple flights of stairs. I hadnt done any serious cardiovascular conditioning in years (no cardio while bulking !!! - what a load of BS!!)

It took a long time to change my mindset enough to accept the fact that I despearately needed to cut down. Everytime I would loose a couple lbs, Id eat and eat to gain it back, for fear of smallness.

Now I realize that I dont want the size unless I can have the single digit BF% to go along with it. At 210, ~10%BF right now I feel so much healthier and my lifts arent too far off from where they were when I was at my heaviest. (except my bench, which sucks)

Size is great, but at 30 years old health and fitness come first. I look and feel better now than I ever did in my 20's, and I plan to keep it that way as the decades roll on by.

BV

 

[CHAPS]

I'm addicted and i'm proud of it! lol Seriously though, i really am, i'm methodical about everything i put in my mouth, it all has a purpose, to build more muscle and cut fat, so everything is weighed out perfectly. I'm very routine oriented, go to sleep and get up at the same time 95% of the time, never miss a workout unless i purposely think i need to let my buddy recover more. I get restless when i'm away from the gym, like I periodically take 1-2 weeks off a year. And after that week i'm DYING to get started up again. And ya once i hit a personal goal of mine it's nice for a bit but then it's back at it again for the next goal, i'm never too big or too strong; in my mind anyway. Is this healthy? I don't really care, i know i'm a hell of alot healthier than 90% of the ppl out there.

 

[CHAPS]

BigVrunga, i couldn't agree more, at my biggest i was 290lbs but i wasn't doing cardio and my bodyfat was around 19-20%, i felt gross actually, i was out of breathe all the time, now i'm around 270ish and feel MUCH MUCH better, I do cardio year round now. I'll have to check it but i just KNOW my resting heart rate has dropped dramatically, i can go on the treadmill with my heartrate at 160bpm for 45-60 minutes no problem.


I also agree with what was said earlier, don't get caught up in the numbers guys! I did that and have ended up a blob more times that i'd like to admit, lol. Concentrate on keeping leaning while adding mass, know when to cut! I haven't bulked in like a year because i'm still not as cut as i want to be, and i'm not going to bulk till i'm where i want to be.

 

[Basso]

The term is Bigorexia, and or muscle dysmorphia, both forms of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Neither of the terms are recognized by the APA, and they will not be in the DSM-IV/TR anytime soon. Now back to the point Cuffs as our own worst critics. You are big, but I think you are not the big fish anymore, you are a bass in a lake now, so now you have to be some huge assed fresh water fish now. Now keep it up, and get big, lean out and you will look bigger if not already leaned out, and use the winter to get bigger, and unviel the new cuffs next spring.

Lol, I'm gonna be that giant bass you always heard about but have never seen. People are always trying to catch me to no avail:ntome: They make knicknames and talk about me all the time, but just shake their heads because they know it's hopeless, I will never be caught!!

 

[DazzlinJack]

I got the same deal here guys. I started weightlifting about 10 months ago last October. No experience in anything fitness oriented and plus I had never seen a bench press before I went into the weight room. During that time, I made some gains here and there. I notice that the more I work on a muscle group, the bigger and stronger it gets. It's like gaining experience when you play a video game. You put in the hours and you get the rewards. You put in more hours, you get more rewards. Then! You see another guy who puts in the same hours and he gets twice the reward but you know that if you put in twice the hours, the reward goes into overtraining and you take a step back. It's all about doing one thing and being particularly good at it until someone comes along and whatdyaknow! He's also pretty good at it too. And then you don't have much that sets you apart from other lifters anymore. Now, the pursuit of gaining size increases. It's a marathon race to see who's really the best. We'll be in the iron game until the other guy gives up and never comes back to the gym. Then, to the victor goes the spoils!! That's my opinion!

 

[3clipseGT]

I think we all have this problem because a lot of people are never happy with what they have because they want better. I always feel small or fat regaurdless of what people say. People all the time tell me i look jacked or im lookin lean, but i notice little **** here n there that just makes me mad.

I think its all of us though bro.

 

[Kam]

Out of all the addictions out there I think this one is probably one of the best unless your going nuts and taking everything under the sun to make you big. So many people are addicted to world of warcraft, cigs, booze, at least what were doing improves our lives.

I'm addicted and can't wait to have a six pack and some big arms. This is by far the best addiction I have every pict up. Beats booze or buds by far.

 

[B4n3 0n3]

I got an idea to see if you are big enough, go to prison and if you don't get raped then you are on the level you wanna be at:jaw: .

OK seriously though I have an addictive personality, I have been addicted to variouse things ciggarets, weed, my job and now to weight lifting and it really is the best addiction out there. There ain't nothing wrong with being addicted to weight lifting even if it does start to take over your life at least it is a good thing taking over your life not some stupid party drug or some stupid job. Am I right or am I right?:clean:

 

[Cuffs]

I realize we are our own worst critic. I also know it's a mental thing with a lot of us. It's just that I keep hearing people saying how "big" I am, but when I look in the mirror I don't see it like they do. When I see certain athletes and they post up their height and weight and wish I could be at that level. Then I realize I am right there with them, height and weight wise, but I still don't see myself as that.

Mirrors, you gotta hate them at times. I guess it's kinda like the person who is anorexic and unhealthly skinny, but see's themself as still being fat.

 

[Rivet]

Mirrors, you gotta hate them at times. I guess it's kinda like the person who is anorexic and unhealthly skinny, but see's themself as still being fat.

It also depends on the mirror too! The mirrors at my gym make me look pretty decent sized. Then I get home and see myself in the mirror in the bathroom and I look small. I was trying on a shirt at a clothing store and saw myself in the mirror in the changing room and was shock, I looked much bigger then I’m used to seeing myself. Then back to the mirror at home and being disappointed:icon_lol:

 

[B4n3 0n3]

It also depends on the mirror too! The mirrors at my gym make me look pretty decent sized. Then I get home and see myself in the mirror in the bathroom and I look small. I was trying on a shirt at a clothing store and saw myself in the mirror in the changing room and was shock, I looked much bigger then I’m used to seeing myself. Then back to the mirror at home and being disappointed:icon_lol:

I notice this about mirrors as well. They must have a subtle stretch to them, some must be a vertical stretch while others a horazontal stretch.

 

[Nitrox]

I realize we are our own worst critic. I also know it's a mental thing with a lot of us. It's just that I keep hearing people saying how "big" I am, but when I look in the mirror I don't see it like they do. When I see certain athletes and they post up their height and weight and wish I could be at that level. Then I realize I am right there with them, height and weight wise, but I still don't see myself as that.

Mirrors, you gotta hate them at times. I guess it's kinda like the person who is anorexic and unhealthly skinny, but see's themself as still being fat.

I think the main thing is that you are aware of it. It is those who are in denial that really have a problem. Good post.

 

[Basso]

It also depends on the mirror too! The mirrors at my gym make me look pretty decent sized. Then I get home and see myself in the mirror in the bathroom and I look small. I was trying on a shirt at a clothing store and saw myself in the mirror in the changing room and was shock, I looked much bigger then I’m used to seeing myself. Then back to the mirror at home and being disappointed:icon_lol:

You need a new Mirror!!! Sounds like your's is broke:icon_lol:

 

[Mess]

well, i guess i'm addicted too, after doing wieght training for many years and currently three in a raw and two cycles of just test enan. i've reached 244 lbs , the problem is i still see bigger guys at my local gym and i dont see my self that big even though every body say that i'm HUGE, my waist line is 34"
my younger brother keeps telling me that i'm really big and he wishes if he were half of my size !! he is the only one who knows that i juice , i mean beside online folks.
i started to cut after my first cycle as i gained good lbs of fat but then immediately felt that i'm toooooo small and did a bulking cycle with a very strict clean diet, i lost some BF while gaining muscles, now i'm trimming down in order to explore my 6 Pack, untill this moment i have never felt that i'm really big and keeps pushing the limit.
at the end i guess that you either go with the emotional flow and relise that you are not as big as your brain is picturing you, or you just agree with your self what is the limits of size you want to reach and once you reach it start to make it look better.

Just my 2 cents

Cheers,