Douchebags at the gym...

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  1. keeper
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    Okay, I wasn't going to say this, b/c it could come across as unkind, but he's um.. very tongue tied. Nothing wrong with that, but it made his exclamations much more interesting!

    OMGosh, I'm laughing again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by keeper View Post
    Okay, I wasn't going to say this, b/c it could come across as unkind, but he's um.. very tongue tied. Nothing wrong with that, but it made his exclamations much more interesting!

    OMGosh, I'm laughing again.
    That reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever heard. When I was in the military, I was sitting through a security briefing for new students at an avionics school. The base's security officer stomped into the room and very forcefully wrote the word "confidentiality" on the chalkboard. He then turned toward us and asked very sternly, "Who can tell me what this word means?" This young kid, fresh from boot camp, raised his hand and was called upon.

    He answered with an extremely thick lisp... "To believe in yourself?"

    RTR.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lennoxchi View Post
    do you go to a small gym?
    I go to two different gyms. One is like those metro fitness, planet fitness type with 100 treadmills and 100 machines. The other is pure hard core with basic lifting equipment, few squat racks, benches (not to big), etc....funny thing is though is that people will say that with an open bench, squat rack, etc right next to me....hence my reasons for saying 'dude, huh'?
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    Quote Originally Posted by hardknock View Post
    I go to two different gyms. One is like those metro fitness, planet fitness type with 100 treadmills and 100 machines. The other is pure hard core with basic lifting equipment, few squat racks, benches (not to big), etc....funny thing is though is that people will say that with an open bench, squat rack, etc right next to me....hence my reasons for saying 'dude, huh'?
    that makes sense then....i thought for a minute if everything was taken or the gym only had one bench......cause i know for sure if that was the case i'd ask to "work in".....but that's just me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by keeper View Post
    Okay, I wasn't going to say this, b/c it could come across as unkind, but he's um.. very tongue tied. Nothing wrong with that, but it made his exclamations much more interesting!

    OMGosh, I'm laughing again.
    No, he's a douche. It's ok to laugh
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    Quote Originally Posted by rubberring View Post
    That reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever heard. When I was in the military, I was sitting through a security briefing for new students at an avionics school. The base's security officer stomped into the room and very forcefully wrote the word "confidentiality" on the chalkboard. He then turned toward us and asked very sternly, "Who can tell me what this word means?" This young kid, fresh from boot camp, raised his hand and was called upon.

    He answered with an extremely thick lisp... "To believe in yourself?"

    Lmfao holy **** that's funny
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    I get minorly miffed when people start using tons of DBs (especially when they run the rack) and either leave them on the ground or just start randomly putting them in all the wrong places.

    The big one that royally pissed me off this month - I was bench and warming up to 315. I started out by grabbing 6 plates and stacking them next to the bench. When I had 275 on the bar some tiny little 120lb kid took the other two plates. When I finished the warm up I went over to him to get them back (my gym is chronically short of 45s) and he actually said that he "didn't see my name on them." I just took them off the bar and loaded mine back up.
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    Quote Originally Posted by UGHQTempus View Post
    I get minorly miffed when people start using tons of DBs (especially when they run the rack) and either leave them on the ground or just start randomly putting them in all the wrong places.

    The big one that royally pissed me off this month - I was bench and warming up to 315. I started out by grabbing 6 plates and stacking them next to the bench. When I had 275 on the bar some tiny little 120lb kid took the other two plates. When I finished the warm up I went over to him to get them back (my gym is chronically short of 45s) and he actually said that he "didn't see my name on them." I just took them off the bar and loaded mine back up.
    that kid must have shat his pants!
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    You people are annoying me with all your stories.......
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    I belong to a gym that's 24 hours, I love when I go after work, a long night of restraining kids, take downs and i walk in and you have 2 very large girls with there boyfriends I assume, sitting on the machines and talking, laughing, drinking coffee, dressed like there going to a club........... here i come dressed, baseball cap backwards, sweats, and Ipod.............and I can hear them, "oh she's tough"................Makes me want to throw them on the floor and restrain them just for being stupid and annoying.............
    RIP Ryan, :(
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    Generally anyone leaning or sitting on a machine (not using it) or bench that I need for the sole purpose of carrying on a conversation.

    And yeah, people who are idiotic with dumbells, carrying them to all odd parts of the gym and never returning them to the rack where they got them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by buuzer0 View Post
    Generally anyone leaning or sitting on a machine (not using it) or bench that I need for the sole purpose of carrying on a conversation.

    And yeah, people who are idiotic with dumbells, carrying them to all odd parts of the gym and never returning them to the rack where they got them.
    I completely agree with that.
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    I'm glad I workout at home. I've only worked out in a gym once and that was the gym at college. They didn't even have a squat rack, but they had a smith machine. I had to sign all these papers, that basically said the college isn't liable if I get hurt. The gym is free since I'm a student, but the hours are ridiculous. It's only open from 4-6. Thankfully there were no douches and everyone seemed to know what they were doing.
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    There was this dude walking so slow on the treadmill one day, staring at the tube. I asked my spotter "What good does that do?" He replied " Maybe his TV at home is broken". I Laughed so hard I couldn't finish my set.
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    Bwahahahahahah!


    Quote Originally Posted by darkvard View Post
    Loads of guys in my gym just moving the minimum weight in the machines i mean heck why are you here for?
    There was one of these guys at the gym last night and he was hogging the squat rack for like a half an hour squatting just the ****ing bar. I ended up getting the ****s about it and walked over while he was mid set (Set #20) and leaned on the rack, when he was done I said to him;

    "So when's the operation mate?"

    "What operation" he answers.

    "Well I assume you're doing such low weight because you're a pre-op transexual trying to tone up for when you get the snip"

    I got a look and a "very funny..." but he then ****ed off and let me have the rack.

    RESULT!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    There was one of these guys at the gym last night and he was hogging the squat rack for like a half an hour squatting just the ****ing bar. I ended up getting the ****s about it and walked over while he was mid set (Set #20) and leaned on the rack, when he was done I said to him;

    "So when's the operation mate?"

    "What operation" he answers.

    "Well I assume you're doing such low weight because you're a pre-op transexual trying to tone up for when you get the snip"

    I got a look and a "very funny..." but he then ****ed off and let me have the rack.

    RESULT!


    Hahahahaha!! I must remember that one when I spot a guy like this the next time
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    the people who pay the trainers at the gym and wind up standing around talking more than asking questions and working out. i asked a trainer one time, in front of his client, "if i pay you $60 an hour will you stand around and talk to me too?". the client was less than amused. normally i would not do something like that but benches were scarce that day and they we just "using it" not actually using it.
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    My other fav is when I'm doing legs and some guy comes over with skinny legs, and knows nothing about lifting and says.."hey need a spot"....UMMMM NO!!! I can squat more than your dumbass any day...........but it makes me laugh, esp when I catch him loading his rack with my weight and moving it 3 inches while grunting...............

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(
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    Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    My other fav is when I'm doing legs and some guy comes over with skinny legs, and knows nothing about lifting and says.."hey need a spot"....UMMMM NO!!! I can squat more than your dumbass any day...........but it makes me laugh, esp when I catch him loading his rack with my weight and moving it 3 inches while grunting...............

    TC
    he's trying to pick you up......why not let him?
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    Quote Originally Posted by lennoxchi View Post
    he's trying to pick you up......why not let him?
    LOL he is not trying to pick me up....................he's just amazed that a girl can have muscle legs...............
    RIP Ryan, :(
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    What about the guy that lets a silent but deadly one rip in the weight area.
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    Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    LOL he is not trying to pick me up....................he's just amazed that a girl can have muscle legs...............
    I think Lennoxchi is trying to pick you up... Why not let him..?

    & yeah cheloz you gotta hate the SBD's that get dropped in a gym. At least you hope it's a fart - like the guy before who said he thought he had sharted while working out.

    8)
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheloz28 View Post
    What about the guy that lets a silent but deadly one rip in the weight area.
    He must have a stretched spincter. You'll hear mine across the room, leaving ample time for evacuation procedures
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    Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    LOL he is not trying to pick me up....................he's just amazed that a girl can have muscle legs...............
    One of my ex's has a 275 front squat for 3.... chicks can have serious muscle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by UGHQTempus View Post
    One of my ex's has a 275 front squat for 3.... chicks can have serious muscle.
    Oh, and I so dig that in a woman
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    Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    LOL he is not trying to pick me up....................he's just amazed that a girl can have muscle legs...............
    i'm not so sure. most guys heads don't work like that. but then again, i wasn't there to see what your talking about......or was i? maybe that "guy" was me and now i'm heart broken.....
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    Quote Originally Posted by lennoxchi View Post
    i'm not so sure. most guys heads don't work like that. but then again, i wasn't there to see what your talking about......or was i? maybe that "guy" was me and now i'm heart broken.....
    Cute!!!!
    RIP Ryan, :(
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    I think Lennoxchi is trying to pick you up... Why not let him..?



    8)
    that obvious?
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    Quote Originally Posted by lennoxchi View Post
    that obvious?

    NOT!!!
    RIP Ryan, :(
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheloz28 View Post
    What about the guy that lets a silent but deadly one rip in the weight area.
    Guilty as charged your honour. At least it keeps the f*ckwits away from me.

    I can honestly say i detest 99% of the wieghts users in my gym. There are maybe 3 guys i can ask for a spot. you can't spot me if:-

    - you wear gloves for your entire workout
    - you wear spandex
    - you stare at me when i'm training
    - you flex your abs in the mirror
    - you wear a sweat band on your skull
    - you leave weights all over the gym floor
    - you weigh less than my breakfast
    - you do half reps on ANYTHING
    - you and your mates are just there to pose
    - you weigh 150 and you're doing wrist f*cking curls
    - you ask me if what i'm doing is safe and tell me i should change my form
    - you shadow box your reflection between sets
    - you don't know what a good morning is
    - you use the padding on the bar for squats
    - you smith machine squat/ bench
    - you wear a hat. in. the. gym.
    - you're an 18 year old fitness intructor (male)
    - you smell like a wet gorilla fart
    - you check your hair every 5 minutes
    - you're in the gym for anything other than than hard work

    So that pretty much rules out most of the f*cktards
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    Quote Originally Posted by SemiBulimic View Post
    Guilty as charged your honour. At least it keeps the f*ckwits away from me.

    I can honestly say i detest 99% of the wieghts users in my gym. There are maybe 3 guys i can ask for a spot. you can't spot me if:-

    - you wear gloves for your entire workout
    - you wear spandex
    - you stare at me when i'm training
    - you flex your abs in the mirror
    - you wear a sweat band on your skull
    - you leave weights all over the gym floor
    - you weigh less than my breakfast
    - you do half reps on ANYTHING
    - you and your mates are just there to pose
    - you weigh 150 and you're doing wrist f*cking curls
    - you ask me if what i'm doing is safe and tell me i should change my form
    - you shadow box your reflection between sets
    - you don't know what a good morning is
    - you use the padding on the bar for squats
    - you smith machine squat/ bench
    - you wear a hat. in. the. gym.
    - you're an 18 year old fitness intructor (male)
    - you smell like a wet gorilla fart
    - you check your hair every 5 minutes
    - you're in the gym for anything other than than hard work

    So that pretty much rules out most of the f*cktards
    **Best post in this thread.
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    The guys that just start training but already know advanced training methods I've never seen. This kid started working out at my gym and I've noticed him because of the screams he lets out on every rep of every set. I've herard of the scream technique before, and the benefits of it. I've just never witnesseed it in tconjunction with the "muscle punch tehcnique" after the set. I was lucky enough to be next to him while he was doing 1 legged extensions. After each set he would punch his quads. It was awesome.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsl View Post
    The guys that just start training but already know advanced training methods I've never seen. This kid started working out at my gym and I've noticed him because of the screams he lets out on every rep of every set. I've herard of the scream technique before, and the benefits of it. I've just never witnesseed it in tconjunction with the "muscle punch tehcnique" after the set. I was lucky enough to be next to him while he was doing 1 legged extensions. After each set he would punch his quads. It was awesome.
    Punch technique? That sounds really stupid.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SemiBulimic View Post
    Guilty as charged your honour. At least it keeps the f*ckwits away from me.

    I can honestly say i detest 99% of the wieghts users in my gym. There are maybe 3 guys i can ask for a spot. you can't spot me if:-

    - you wear gloves for your entire workout
    - you wear spandex
    - you stare at me when i'm training
    - you flex your abs in the mirror
    - you wear a sweat band on your skull
    - you leave weights all over the gym floor
    - you weigh less than my breakfast
    - you do half reps on ANYTHING
    - you and your mates are just there to pose
    - you weigh 150 and you're doing wrist f*cking curls
    - you ask me if what i'm doing is safe and tell me i should change my form
    - you shadow box your reflection between sets
    - you don't know what a good morning is
    - you use the padding on the bar for squats
    - you smith machine squat/ bench
    - you wear a hat. in. the. gym.
    - you're an 18 year old fitness intructor (male)
    - you smell like a wet gorilla fart
    - you check your hair every 5 minutes
    - you're in the gym for anything other than than hard work

    So that pretty much rules out most of the f*cktards
    Ironic given your avatar.
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    Indeed Watson, but i hasten to add that i smell like wet CHIMP fart, thus discounting me from said list, and hence the avatar. Pan troglodyte i believe....
    Attached Images Attached Images
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    ^^^ oh wow! I never seen that before! Classic! And you fkers voted for him . . . twice!
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    Quote Originally Posted by jakellpet View Post
    ^^^ oh wow! I never seen that before! Classic! And you fkers voted for him . . . twice!
    "pandora's box" is opened.........

    lol........
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    Back to the topic, I've got another douchebag to add to the list.

    People that are doing cardio or resting between sets who start singing along to an inappropriate song that must've happened to 'find' its way onto their ipod.

    Examples of inappropriate stuff to start singing in a gym full of sweaty guys;

    1. Closer - NIN
    2. Anything by a pop starlet.
    3. Anything by a boyband member, current or past.

    Yes dude... We can hear you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    Back to the topic, I've got another douchebag to add to the list.

    People that are doing cardio or resting between sets who start singing along to an inappropriate song that must've happened to 'find' its way onto their ipod.

    Examples of inappropriate stuff to start singing in a gym full of sweaty guys;

    1. Closer - NIN
    2. Anything by a pop starlet.
    3. Anything by a boyband member, current or past.

    Yes dude... We can hear you.
    screw you! the backstreet boys rock! and i paid for my membership thank you very little......
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