Douchebags at the gym...

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  1. Agreed people that talk to me, or try.... Lately i show up with a HUGE hoodie on and my ear phones in, and people still try to talk to me..... I give up..tonight someone tried to talk to me, and I held up my hand.. "Listen I have had a bad day/worse night and the answer is no, no and hell no"..... and I walked away......
    RIP Ryan, :(


  2. I'm not the strongest guy in the world, at the moment I do standing dumbell curls with the 40lbs, the 45lbs, and the 50lbs on a good day (though those end up looking pretty bad, form-wise). Lately, there's been a group of guys who will be using larger weights (say 80's) on in the same area to do chest, but for some reason they feel the need to rest their dumbells on top of the lighter weights that I'm using for curls.

    It's f'ing annoying to have to move their crap out of the way, I know it makes it easier for them to pick up but it's inconsiderate as hell.
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  3. the person who fills up their entire water bottle at the fountain when there is a line behind them.

    the kid who tries to be hard who talks to everyone and gives u dirty looks. but then later comes up to u asking what your routine is because he wants to look exactly like you.

    the people who come day in and day out for years and still look the exact same way as they did when they started

  4. Went to the gym tonight with my friend from work ( just a co worker) a guy, good shape, good looking, we get there and some chick was there, following us around, checking my friend out, giving me some nasty looks, finally dumb a** walks over to us as we were about to leave s.."hey girl, how you doin?" I looked at her like she had 5 heads, looked at him, rolled my eyes and said simply.... " I don't know you, for gods sake his name is ____ just say hello"... damn people that act like it's second grade...

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  5. Quote Originally Posted by toughchick401 View Post
    Went to the gym tonight with my friend from work ( just a co worker) a guy, good shape, good looking, we get there and some chick was there, following us around, checking my friend out, giving me some nasty looks, finally dumb a** walks over to us as we were about to leave s.."hey girl, how you doin?" I looked at her like she had 5 heads, looked at him, rolled my eyes and said simply.... " I don't know you, for gods sake his name is ____ just say hello"... damn people that act like it's second grade...

    TC
    I call that person "The slip-streamer".

    At least she asked "how" you're doing. I had a chick I didn't know ask me last night, "Hey, "what" you doin'?" and I gave her the same look you gave this girl and said, "Uh... Working out..." to which she goes, "Nice." then I go, "I'm gonna go get some water" and she goes, "Sweet, come say hi to me soon!" Riiiiiiiiiiight.

    The question is, was she cute & did he give her his number?

    Otherwise, epic fail!
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  6. Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    I call that person "The slip-streamer".

    At least she asked "how" you're doing. I had a chick I didn't know ask me last night, "Hey, "what" you doin'?" and I gave her the same look you gave this girl and said, "Uh... Working out..." to which she goes, "Nice." then I go, "I'm gonna go get some water" and she goes, "Sweet, come say hi to me soon!" Riiiiiiiiiiight.

    The question is, was she cute & did he give her his number?

    Otherwise, epic fail!
    He was mad at me for giving his name, I was mad at the whole thing because she disturbed my work out, and looked stupid, cute, as girls go...Not so much...... so no number, no score....
    RIP Ryan, :(

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    I call that person "The slip-streamer".

    At least she asked "how" you're doing. I had a chick I didn't know ask me last night, "Hey, "what" you doin'?" and I gave her the same look you gave this girl and said, "Uh... Working out..." to which she goes, "Nice." then I go, "I'm gonna go get some water" and she goes, "Sweet, come say hi to me soon!" Riiiiiiiiiiight.

    The question is, was she cute & did he give her his number?

    Otherwise, epic fail!
    Haha chicks dont approach me at the finish center. Maybe its the look on my face or the fact I talk really loud and vulgar plus the place is dead quiet so everything I say is heard even over the mind numbing sounds of the cardio machines that make more noise than me when I deadlift. Or maybe its because when before I squat I look like a caged animal. Could be my hair it could use a good cut.


  8. Here's my list of Top10 offenders:

    10) People who take dumbbells out of the free-weights area and leave them around the gym

    9) People who take up a bench for 30 or more minutes during peek-time when all their exercises can just as easily be done standing up

    8) People who who use bars (any kind) and spend 5 minutes resting between sets and don't allow you to add or remove any in between their sets

    7) People who work-out in groups of 3 or more and line up 6 different sets of dumbbells and claim "we're using them" when there are another 20 people wanting to use them

    6) Guys who parade around shirtless or naked in the changing room texting on their phone >10 minutes EVERY SINGLE time

    5) People who sweat like f****ng pigs and think it's cool to let their sweat drip all over the equipment, benches, floor etc and actually try to use as many different benches as possible while doing so

    4) People who use one bench to lift, and A COMPLETELY IDENTICAL one to rest, taking up 2 at any given time

    3) Grunters! Now I know some people do lift masses of weight and are justified in vocalising, but doing bicep curls with the 16kg and screaming like you've been anally raped by walrus is just ridiculous

    2) Idiots who sing the songs they listen to on their MP3!!! My god is that off-putting

    And finally, the top spot for most annoying bastards in the gym goes to...


    1) The so-so fit guy who looks at you smugly while you're doing bicep curls and immediately picks up more weight than you, stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, and proceeds to show what a complete bad-ass he is by doing the same exercise, ONLY COMPLETELY WRONG by flailing his hands, weaving his back in-and-out and using a pendulum-motion to complete EVERY SINGLE REP

  9. How about the guys who grab dumbbells, but refuse to step back more than a foot from the rack? Also the groups of people who work out together and insist on doing the same exercises...all at the same time? There were a trio in there today, all doing dumbbell shrugs, all right in front of the rack. Then continued to stand in the exact spot while they rested.

  10. Luckily my current gym is void of such dimwits. The entire gym (and I DO mean the ENTIRE gym) has wall-to-wall mirrors, so people prefer to side-step to the right or left so they can get a full-on view and side-view of themselves doing the exercises in a completely wrong way.

  11. The one on here that is abbundant on any military post you go is THE TAPOUT GUY!!! But it's also "Army Combatives" and "such-n-such's MMA Gym". Yes, I do MMA....and some combatives...but there's no damn way I'm advertising that at an Army Gym!!! It's like an invite for these assclowns to come up to you and tell you about a match they had that last 2 minutes...but it takes then 20 minutes to tell the story!!! The tell stories more than they work out! I listen to them as they stand in the free weight area talking about a match they just had that would put Ivan Drako vs Rocky to shame!!!I sitting thinking "Hey guy...you're a cook in the Army. And a fat retarded one at that. Last time you fought it was over someone stealing your cupcakes. Stop making it seem like you actually get paid for MMA....Oh great here comes the 'Back In Iraq' stories....Let's get the popcorn ready so we can listen to the Iron Chef...."
    IN 27 YEARS I'VE NEVER GONE 0-4 IN WILDCARD WEEKEND!!!
    until now. yup I put money on every game too. excuse me while i go drink myself smart.

  12. Sounds like some surreal dream world I can only hope to experience for myself one day
    Being in a room full of huge sweaty men working out? Rob a bank...all your dreams will come true in prison!!!

    Little story: I was on a Personal Security Detail for a Commanding General while in Iraq (the second time) He was really excited because the way the budget fell apparently the post got a TON of money to renivate the on-post gym (back in the states). We were excited to see it when we got back, because naturally we had been hitting the Gym in Baghdad for the last year. So it just so happened myself and few other members from the PSD and the General's staff all went to the gym to check it out a few weeks after we got back.

    What we saw shocked us! (no, I couldn't show it...but 2 stars of fury speaks louder than my rank could). The General heads for the weight room and looks around "Sooooo.....where the hell did our money go?!?!? It looks the same..." Just then the gym director catches up with him and escorts him to the brand new state of the art Cardio Room! With new treadmills, bike, stair masters, etc. Most had little tvs on them for each person. If that wasn't enough they had TVs wall to wall that you could watch. The General yells "ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!?!?" (POINTS TO THE PEOPLE RUNNING/WALKING/BIKING) "THESE *******S CAN GO OUTSIDE AND RUN DAMNIT!!!!! THERE'S NOT TOO MANY OTHER WAY LIFT WEIGHTS!!!! YEA LET'S GO BENCHPRESS ****ING ROCKS OUTSIDE!!!" He walks to just about everyone on a treadmill or bike "YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE!" Next person "BUY A BIKE AND GO OUT SIDE!!!" And on and on and on....yes we couldn't help but to laugh. He said what we wanted to...easily the best thing I've ever seen an officer do. And yes the **** was fixed REALLY quick :-)
    IN 27 YEARS I'VE NEVER GONE 0-4 IN WILDCARD WEEKEND!!!
    until now. yup I put money on every game too. excuse me while i go drink myself smart.

  13. ^^^

    Thats the kinda sh1t I like to hear about. I never understood y people need such fancy cardio machines.

  14. Dude there is nothing better than out side jog I refuse to fo cardio in gym its silly, only during rough times at cuttin phases

  15. I won't lie living in Washington State i run on treadmills often since its usually down pouring outside in the winter time. But i don't need a fancy treadmill to do it.

  16. Yea I get having bike machines and treadmills...especially during bad weather. But a basic bike machine or treadmill with some speed and resistence settings is all you need for a warm up/cool down. Sitting there for 45 minutes watching the latest episode of "Raymond Blows The Milkman", probably isn't helping your physique. You can save up that money you spend at the gym, buy a basic bike machine and watch tv in your living room!!!!
    IN 27 YEARS I'VE NEVER GONE 0-4 IN WILDCARD WEEKEND!!!
    until now. yup I put money on every game too. excuse me while i go drink myself smart.

  17. LMAO I can relate to all these. Awesome thread!

  18. Quote Originally Posted by rubberring View Post
    Hands down, the guy who puts 22 plates (990 lbs) on the leg press machine, grunts out what amounts to four 1.5 inch presses, and then lets the weights slam down on the locks. I asked him once if he could squat 1/3 of that. He mumbled something about a peanut and light weight.

    But yeah... love that guy. Him and his size x-small Under Armour shirt.
    I definately know this guy, personally I'm afraid hahaha LMAO

  19. i got 2, 110lb, 17 year old European gay ass guidos comin in every friday night, both wearing same black wife beater, always walkin around doin one set on every machine and drop the the weight on the last rep. The gayest thing about em is if u catch em in the locker room before there workout, 20 min doing their hair and figuring out which armani exchange shirt to wear. cant wait to see em tonight, i think its ed hardy wife beater night

  20. Quote Originally Posted by lepiricus View Post
    I love these threads and I've seen iterations of most the types described in here from time to time. I stay away from the trendy gyms with high douche quotient and lift at a local YMCA, they have decent equipment and not very busy even in the afternoon 5 to 6:30PM time I never wait for a bench or rack. There are about 3 or 4 of us serious guys who are regulars and most of the DBs are what I call 'grazers' they come in and aimlessly do this or that. They are the ones that provide the most entertainment.

    We have do have some douche contenders though not previously described here:

    Chatty Chet: His prime directive is to derail someone's workout by droning on about highschool or college sports. His prey is typically highschool aged 'grazer' that is too nice or doesn't realize the bear trap he is in before its too late. If he gets his hooks into a kid I will usually try to rescue him by asking for a spot only to pull him aside and inform him about Chet because I'm just that awesome. Chatty Chet hasn't said anything directly to me in about 3 years though. He may think I'm the DB but F'it, I'm there to workout.

    Cloudkill: This 'kid' is about 6' 230lb pasty marshmallow that camps the dumbbell rack and has a 10' radius odor of hot garbage. Without fail this kid is foul every time. I literally hold my breath to retrieve or replace dumbbells when Cloudkill is rockin his 25lb presses.

    ZPITY Club: ZPITY is an acronym for Zero Progress in Two Years. These gals have had the same 'trainer' for over 2 years and the only physical change I've seen in these two is that one of them dyed their hair some time back. Complete god damn waste of time and money. My only real gripe with this group is that they take up two of everything when they are 'working out' and by 'working out' I mean talking about their kids, pets or something they ate that they know is bad for them.
    'Grazer' in a wife beater: These are my favorite because they are extra small dudes in double extra large wife beaters. They are usually younger guys and they usually travel in packs. They are the ones that go straight to the bench press and do what could be mistaken as a rep of 225lbs with an assist from their friends. Its pretty awesome to see 2 guys struggle to pull the weight off the 3rd guy who is under the bar. Or they go curl 10lb dumbells while snarling in the mirror only to flex or high five their possy in victorious celebration after a set of dog**** looking reps.

    These guys are a surefire bet to do something knuckleheadish. More than once I've seen them lose control of a bar and watch as the plates slide slow motion off one side the fling back up to watch the other side crash. Once they did it while attempting a squat in the rack. They dropped plates off once side and the bar flung up only to pivot and crash into a mirror.
    In that case i go to planet ZPITY gym. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many blokes have made any progress whatsoever in the 2 and a bit years i've been there, and i'm one of those that has.

    I haven't seen anyone talk about the 'copycat'. Some scrawny little streak of p!ss who sees someone with experience doing a movement they have no clue about then tries to copy it, albeit with MORE weight. Example being that there is this kid in my gym who is also a ZPITY with legs like a exclamation marks who saw me doing some RC cable movements prior to benching and now EVERY DAY does the same thing with a bit more weight than i use ( i think i use 25lbs or) yet sh!ts himself to lift it and somehow turns it into atricep exercise. I hope and pray one day his shoulder just pops out of the socket to serve the little sh!tbag right. Just come and ask me why i'm doing it.

    I think it's just a matter of time before someone - most likely on AM - takes matters (or a 20lb dumbbell) into their own hands and goes postal in one of these commercial douchbag gyms. Question is, who gets to taste iron first? That's a whole new thread though. Posers who spend more time in the mirror fixing their hair and looking at their abs would first to ER i think........

  21. Quote Originally Posted by UGHQTempus View Post
    under armor? Really - I'd rather have everyone wear it and not have that nasty sweat left on every bench. Bleh. Sweaty bastards all over my gym always dripping on sh!t.
    Haha yeah that was pretty vague. What I really meant is the tight tight stuff that makes dudes look like they're wrapped in sausage casing.

    These days the loose fitting UA is pretty nice stuff.

  22. My latest addition to the moron list are these particular guys who come to the gym dressed like they 're going to a club and go to clubs as if they 're about to hit the gym.

    Seriously, I've got these 4 posers in my gym who come in to work out in Versace trousers, Armani undershirts and a Diesel belt-buckle. The only thing NOT part of their summer collection is their 130 Adidas sports shoes.

    This weekend I went out to a club and saw all 4 of them in there with, I kid you not, sweat pants and skin-tight Nike muscle-shirts...

  23. Quote Originally Posted by Hyperion View Post
    My latest addition to the moron list are these particular guys who come to the gym dressed like they 're going to a club and go to clubs as if they 're about to hit the gym.

    Seriously, I've got these 4 posers in my gym who come in to work out in Versace trousers, Armani undershirts and a Diesel belt-buckle. The only thing NOT part of their summer collection is their 130 Adidas sports shoes.

    This weekend I went out to a club and saw all 4 of them in there with, I kid you not, sweat pants and skin-tight Nike muscle-shirts...


    Yeah I never understood the **** gobblers who work out in jeans.

    That asian juicer I mentioned needs to be mentioned again, he's started cutting and is obviously all hopped up on clen and hitting the treadmill and he rocks the Travolta Saturday Night Fever strut sweating bullets as he saunters along at 4mph.



    Edit: Haircut is also surprisingly similar. Just add some thick Clark Kent glasses and make him asian and it's him.

  24. The other day I went to do squats and all the racks were taken up. 3 people were squatting, one was doing deadlifts, and a scrawny dude was doing shrugs with 225 superseted with side raise of course.

    I asked him how many more sets he had and he said 3. I should have just chilled for a little, but instead i became the douche. I told him I was waiting to do squats and he was in the only safe area in the gym they could be performed. I then pointed out all the places he could do shrugs. Of course I did this all in a ****ish manner and I feel pretty bad about it. Once I got the rack next to his I let someone else who was waiting to squat work in with me. Hope my gym Karma is ok...
  25. BLOOD on the BENCH!!


    To be added to the ultimate, "I Saw This Coming" file:

    The other day this guy stolled in to my gym with his doo rag, sunglasses and Versace or whatever outfit...He puts 135lbs on the bench....and he weighs like 160lb I guess...goes for a lift...and the next thing I know I hear this CRASH...and the bar is lying on his face, his glasses are cracked and his nose has a gash pouring with blood. I (and others) ran over to help him and he just ran to the showers without saying anything, but came back after a few minutes with a band aide on his nose and racked up 95lbs and rep'd out about 3 or 4.
    Not to be mean, but there's something to be said for knowing your limitations and asking for an 'effing SPOT!
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