Douchebags at the gym...
- 08-21-2010, 10:52 PM
- 08-21-2010, 11:47 PM
08-23-2010, 10:13 AM
08-23-2010, 02:10 PM
08-23-2010, 02:58 PM
08-23-2010, 04:58 PM
ok you guys wont believe me but its TRUE
was at a local gym today with a bud of mine who knows the owner.
there was about 10 pretty good sized guys there, who were using equipment right, using good form, and nobody doing retarded anything. honest!!
08-23-2010, 05:34 PM
08-23-2010, 07:17 PM
08-23-2010, 07:38 PM
08-23-2010, 08:05 PM
08-23-2010, 08:43 PM
09-08-2010, 03:40 AM
There's an asian guy at my gym now who is obviously juiced (He's 5'8" and walks around at ~230lbs and whenever he wears a singlet all the acne on his back makes his skin look like the surface of the moon), has no idea what he's doing and has his 3 or 4 not-big hangers on who all cheer for him when he lifts anything and likes to walk around like he's all alpha and leave his weights around for other people to pick up after him.
So beyond the obvious the first douchey thing he did to show up on the radar is come over and ask me in pidgeon english if the db rows I was doing were to hit triceps (WTF). I give him the eyebrow raise and shake my head, do the right thing and tell him it's a lat exercise, he looks confused and wanders off.
Then I go into the changeroom and he's having a pose-off with himself in the mirror (Tackle out - always bad for your man-brand) as his little crew of gaylords stand and stare and cheer. I throw my bag down and they all stop and look at me and I say, "Put some ****in' pants on you gaylord, this isn't "that" kind of gym!" and thankfully he obliges.
Then next time I'm in the gym doing squats one of the chicks I know comes over and complains that he's left ~1,400 lbs of plates racked up on the 45 deg leg press machine. Now I'd already told him off about leaving his **** lying around so I go over and tell him to take the plates off the machine, he looks and his 'friends', then back at me and smiles, and attempts to walk by, I put my hand on his chest, shake my head and point at the machine and get about 2" away from his nose and say, "I'm not asking, I'm not suggesting... ****ing clean it up." and he suddenly looks like a kicked dog and tells his disciples to do it. Since then all I gotta do is squint at him and he unracks all his ****.
So in short, he's still a douchebag, but at least he knows his role.
09-08-2010, 08:49 AM
09-08-2010, 01:23 PM
09-10-2010, 03:27 PM
09-10-2010, 11:38 PM
I love these threads and I've seen iterations of most the types described in here from time to time. I stay away from the trendy gyms with high douche quotient and lift at a local YMCA, they have decent equipment and not very busy even in the afternoon 5 to 6:30PM time I never wait for a bench or rack. There are about 3 or 4 of us serious guys who are regulars and most of the DBs are what I call 'grazers' they come in and aimlessly do this or that. They are the ones that provide the most entertainment.
We have do have some douche contenders though not previously described here:
Chatty Chet: His prime directive is to derail someone's workout by droning on about highschool or college sports. His prey is typically highschool aged 'grazer' that is too nice or doesn't realize the bear trap he is in before its too late. If he gets his hooks into a kid I will usually try to rescue him by asking for a spot only to pull him aside and inform him about Chet because I'm just that awesome. Chatty Chet hasn't said anything directly to me in about 3 years though. He may think I'm the DB but F'it, I'm there to workout.
Cloudkill: This 'kid' is about 6' 230lb pasty marshmallow that camps the dumbbell rack and has a 10' radius odor of hot garbage. Without fail this kid is foul every time. I literally hold my breath to retrieve or replace dumbbells when Cloudkill is rockin his 25lb presses.
ZPITY Club: ZPITY is an acronym for Zero Progress in Two Years. These gals have had the same 'trainer' for over 2 years and the only physical change I've seen in these two is that one of them dyed their hair some time back. Complete god damn waste of time and money. My only real gripe with this group is that they take up two of everything when they are 'working out' and by 'working out' I mean talking about their kids, pets or something they ate that they know is bad for them.
'Grazer' in a wife beater: These are my favorite because they are extra small dudes in double extra large wife beaters. They are usually younger guys and they usually travel in packs. They are the ones that go straight to the bench press and do what could be mistaken as a rep of 225lbs with an assist from their friends. Its pretty awesome to see 2 guys struggle to pull the weight off the 3rd guy who is under the bar. Or they go curl 10lb dumbells while snarling in the mirror only to flex or high five their possy in victorious celebration after a set of dog**** looking reps.
These guys are a surefire bet to do something knuckleheadish. More than once I've seen them lose control of a bar and watch as the plates slide slow motion off one side the fling back up to watch the other side crash. Once they did it while attempting a squat in the rack. They dropped plates off once side and the bar flung up only to pivot and crash into a mirror.
09-11-2010, 12:32 AM
simple! The guy in the gym that no matter what amount of weight he moves(usually tries to go as heavy as possible with an uber sh!ty form) makes the same EXACT faces as Frank does in the Animal videos.
The guy that asks a question and then one ups everything you say.
The guy that b!tches about not having a six pack even though he has a "2%" BF.
The guy that see some one bigger than him and goes "man I would never wanna be that big, that's just too much"
The guy that thinks that he has a FLAWLESS diet and b!tches about his gains, while drinking a soda!
The GIRLS that come to the gym move weights for total of 10 minutes but talk and flirt to evey fukking guy for an hour.
The TAPOUT guy!!!!! With the TAPOUT shirt, TAPOUT hat, TAPOUT PANTS, and TAPOUT...that shadow fights for 10 fukking minutes after every god damn set!!!!
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09-11-2010, 06:50 PM
I was just talking to my wife about this last night because of our neighbors driving me bat **** crazy! If you ask me a question i will answer it, if i dont ask you the same question back it means I dont EFFIN care so STFU!!
Yeah i had a bad day today.
09-11-2010, 11:55 PM
They guy that thinks he know everything, and he doesn't.
The guy that thinks every guy bigger than him is on roids.
The guy that just seats there and stares at other people for 2 hours.
The guy that looks like his doing decline on a flat bench press
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Discount Code = anabolic05
09-13-2010, 01:16 AM
I love when I hit the gym after work and the "late" night crowd comes in, the guys who bring there girls in, the girls sit with skin tight clothes ( and no its not attractive) and sip there dunkin donuts whatever, keep looking at me as I am running or biking, One night I can feel it coming...........I figure already been assaulted at work, I'm not afraid....lol going to be a interesting week
RIP Ryan, :(
09-13-2010, 02:52 AM
I hate when people ask "Can u really do that?" or even worse "Are u going to do that?" No dumbass I just loaded up all this weight to look at it. Because obviously the most fun part of lifting is loading the weights. Its not so bad when u can tell their mind has just been fuccked by the weight but when they say it like they dont think u can thats what really pisses me off.
I almost want to lift during peak hours on Monday so some dumbass can ask me if Im really going to lift that(deadlift).
09-13-2010, 06:42 AM
Juicers who wear sweatshirts or hoodies working out to hide their back acne when it's like 38 celcius outside because they want to harp on about being natural are another pretty special brand of douchebag.
TAPOUT guy! Good call I have two of those at my gym and they spent more time homoerotically high-fiving one another and slapping each other on the ass to celebrate their pissy 120lb cable rows than they do lifting anything.
Another particular guy who pissed me off yesterday is the dildo who showers at the gym but wants to walk all the way back to his locker before towelling himself off. I walked into the change room and it looked like New Orleans post Katrina minus the looters and dead animals.
09-13-2010, 06:47 AM
Oh! And the guy who wants to get on gear and does the ***gy sideways glances and tries to befriend any guy bigger than him so he can ask about what "supplements" they use (With the nudge nudge wink wink).
They make me laugh too.
09-13-2010, 12:53 PM
I hate people who insist on trying to start a conversation with you despite the fact that you are wearing headphones. One reason I listen to my ipod is so I don't have to kill 10 minutes explaining my arm workout and another 10 pretending to listed to theirs. My problem is also that despite the all the hate, I'm too nice a guy and if someone engages me and is friendly I'll talk to them no matter how much I don't want to. But if you can hear Judas Priest booming out of my ear buds and I'm staring dead forward after a set, I don't want to talk!
09-13-2010, 01:10 PM
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