Douchebags at the gym...

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  1. Yea I get having bike machines and treadmills...especially during bad weather. But a basic bike machine or treadmill with some speed and resistence settings is all you need for a warm up/cool down. Sitting there for 45 minutes watching the latest episode of "Raymond Blows The Milkman", probably isn't helping your physique. You can save up that money you spend at the gym, buy a basic bike machine and watch tv in your living room!!!!
    IN 27 YEARS I'VE NEVER GONE 0-4 IN WILDCARD WEEKEND!!!
    until now. yup I put money on every game too. excuse me while i go drink myself smart.


  2. LMAO I can relate to all these. Awesome thread!
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  3. Quote Originally Posted by rubberring View Post
    Hands down, the guy who puts 22 plates (990 lbs) on the leg press machine, grunts out what amounts to four 1.5 inch presses, and then lets the weights slam down on the locks. I asked him once if he could squat 1/3 of that. He mumbled something about a peanut and light weight.

    But yeah... love that guy. Him and his size x-small Under Armour shirt.
    I definately know this guy, personally I'm afraid hahaha LMAO

  4. i got 2, 110lb, 17 year old European gay ass guidos comin in every friday night, both wearing same black wife beater, always walkin around doin one set on every machine and drop the the weight on the last rep. The gayest thing about em is if u catch em in the locker room before there workout, 20 min doing their hair and figuring out which armani exchange shirt to wear. cant wait to see em tonight, i think its ed hardy wife beater night

  5. Quote Originally Posted by lepiricus View Post
    I love these threads and I've seen iterations of most the types described in here from time to time. I stay away from the trendy gyms with high douche quotient and lift at a local YMCA, they have decent equipment and not very busy even in the afternoon 5 to 6:30PM time I never wait for a bench or rack. There are about 3 or 4 of us serious guys who are regulars and most of the DBs are what I call 'grazers' they come in and aimlessly do this or that. They are the ones that provide the most entertainment.

    We have do have some douche contenders though not previously described here:

    Chatty Chet: His prime directive is to derail someone's workout by droning on about highschool or college sports. His prey is typically highschool aged 'grazer' that is too nice or doesn't realize the bear trap he is in before its too late. If he gets his hooks into a kid I will usually try to rescue him by asking for a spot only to pull him aside and inform him about Chet because I'm just that awesome. Chatty Chet hasn't said anything directly to me in about 3 years though. He may think I'm the DB but F'it, I'm there to workout.

    Cloudkill: This 'kid' is about 6' 230lb pasty marshmallow that camps the dumbbell rack and has a 10' radius odor of hot garbage. Without fail this kid is foul every time. I literally hold my breath to retrieve or replace dumbbells when Cloudkill is rockin his 25lb presses.

    ZPITY Club: ZPITY is an acronym for Zero Progress in Two Years. These gals have had the same 'trainer' for over 2 years and the only physical change I've seen in these two is that one of them dyed their hair some time back. Complete god damn waste of time and money. My only real gripe with this group is that they take up two of everything when they are 'working out' and by 'working out' I mean talking about their kids, pets or something they ate that they know is bad for them.
    'Grazer' in a wife beater: These are my favorite because they are extra small dudes in double extra large wife beaters. They are usually younger guys and they usually travel in packs. They are the ones that go straight to the bench press and do what could be mistaken as a rep of 225lbs with an assist from their friends. Its pretty awesome to see 2 guys struggle to pull the weight off the 3rd guy who is under the bar. Or they go curl 10lb dumbells while snarling in the mirror only to flex or high five their possy in victorious celebration after a set of dog**** looking reps.

    These guys are a surefire bet to do something knuckleheadish. More than once I've seen them lose control of a bar and watch as the plates slide slow motion off one side the fling back up to watch the other side crash. Once they did it while attempting a squat in the rack. They dropped plates off once side and the bar flung up only to pivot and crash into a mirror.
    In that case i go to planet ZPITY gym. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many blokes have made any progress whatsoever in the 2 and a bit years i've been there, and i'm one of those that has.

    I haven't seen anyone talk about the 'copycat'. Some scrawny little streak of p!ss who sees someone with experience doing a movement they have no clue about then tries to copy it, albeit with MORE weight. Example being that there is this kid in my gym who is also a ZPITY with legs like a exclamation marks who saw me doing some RC cable movements prior to benching and now EVERY DAY does the same thing with a bit more weight than i use ( i think i use 25lbs or) yet sh!ts himself to lift it and somehow turns it into atricep exercise. I hope and pray one day his shoulder just pops out of the socket to serve the little sh!tbag right. Just come and ask me why i'm doing it.

    I think it's just a matter of time before someone - most likely on AM - takes matters (or a 20lb dumbbell) into their own hands and goes postal in one of these commercial douchbag gyms. Question is, who gets to taste iron first? That's a whole new thread though. Posers who spend more time in the mirror fixing their hair and looking at their abs would first to ER i think........
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  6. Quote Originally Posted by UGHQTempus View Post
    under armor? Really - I'd rather have everyone wear it and not have that nasty sweat left on every bench. Bleh. Sweaty bastards all over my gym always dripping on sh!t.
    Haha yeah that was pretty vague. What I really meant is the tight tight stuff that makes dudes look like they're wrapped in sausage casing.

    These days the loose fitting UA is pretty nice stuff.

  7. My latest addition to the moron list are these particular guys who come to the gym dressed like they 're going to a club and go to clubs as if they 're about to hit the gym.

    Seriously, I've got these 4 posers in my gym who come in to work out in Versace trousers, Armani undershirts and a Diesel belt-buckle. The only thing NOT part of their summer collection is their 130 Adidas sports shoes.

    This weekend I went out to a club and saw all 4 of them in there with, I kid you not, sweat pants and skin-tight Nike muscle-shirts...

  8. Quote Originally Posted by Hyperion View Post
    My latest addition to the moron list are these particular guys who come to the gym dressed like they 're going to a club and go to clubs as if they 're about to hit the gym.

    Seriously, I've got these 4 posers in my gym who come in to work out in Versace trousers, Armani undershirts and a Diesel belt-buckle. The only thing NOT part of their summer collection is their 130 Adidas sports shoes.

    This weekend I went out to a club and saw all 4 of them in there with, I kid you not, sweat pants and skin-tight Nike muscle-shirts...


    Yeah I never understood the **** gobblers who work out in jeans.

    That asian juicer I mentioned needs to be mentioned again, he's started cutting and is obviously all hopped up on clen and hitting the treadmill and he rocks the Travolta Saturday Night Fever strut sweating bullets as he saunters along at 4mph.



    Edit: Haircut is also surprisingly similar. Just add some thick Clark Kent glasses and make him asian and it's him.

  9. The other day I went to do squats and all the racks were taken up. 3 people were squatting, one was doing deadlifts, and a scrawny dude was doing shrugs with 225 superseted with side raise of course.

    I asked him how many more sets he had and he said 3. I should have just chilled for a little, but instead i became the douche. I told him I was waiting to do squats and he was in the only safe area in the gym they could be performed. I then pointed out all the places he could do shrugs. Of course I did this all in a ****ish manner and I feel pretty bad about it. Once I got the rack next to his I let someone else who was waiting to squat work in with me. Hope my gym Karma is ok...
  10. BLOOD on the BENCH!!


    To be added to the ultimate, "I Saw This Coming" file:

    The other day this guy stolled in to my gym with his doo rag, sunglasses and Versace or whatever outfit...He puts 135lbs on the bench....and he weighs like 160lb I guess...goes for a lift...and the next thing I know I hear this CRASH...and the bar is lying on his face, his glasses are cracked and his nose has a gash pouring with blood. I (and others) ran over to help him and he just ran to the showers without saying anything, but came back after a few minutes with a band aide on his nose and racked up 95lbs and rep'd out about 3 or 4.
    Not to be mean, but there's something to be said for knowing your limitations and asking for an 'effing SPOT!

  11. Ms9, don't beat yourself up, we 've all been there. Just last week I told off this scrawny little sob for taking up the bench press bar to do dead-lifts with 5 kilos on each side, when he could easily do them with dumbbells at such little weight.

    He gave me attitude about NEEDING the bar to do the exercise right and after watching him take 15 seconds to do 1 set with bad form and then take a 3 minute rest before his 2nd (out of 6) set I just went over, picked up the bar and told him with a face full of scowl "If you want to clown around do it in your own time and not in peak time when others are waiting to use the bar PROPERLY".

    I didn't want to speak to him that way, but it's damn rude and inconsiderate for someone to waste other people's time like that. It was busy in the gym, and I couldn't use the dumbbells I needed because some other schmucks had them lined-up along with another 5... So, when it comes down to me having to wait around like an idiot for some inconsiderate prick when he can just as easily waste his time with-out the bar, I don't bother with pleasantries.

    It's a matter of common decency towards others. When I'm using a machine/bench/dumbbell/bar that I don't absolutely need for an exercise, I ALWAYS offer to give it up when I see someone waiting for it, especially if I can do that exercise with something else and their exercise can pretty much only be done properly with it.

  12. a scowl and a grunt normally gets rid of twats like that. I had a scrawny streak of p!ss stand about 2 feet away when me and my mate were benching and he kept asking how many sets we were doing; it just so happened i was doing smolov so i think i was due to do 8 sets. so he sits there doing nothing but staring at us and when we eventually finished he puts 10kg on the bar, does a set of 10 then goes elsewhere. It's a pity because his dad is a hardcore lifter, if only he knew........

  13. Usually I don't even need to resort to mild intimidation techniques, I'm quite capable of sweet-talking my way into getting others to not mess around, but one time I very nearly came to blows with this idiot who had 6 pairs of dumbbells lined up and wouldn't interchange with me on the ones he wasn't using in a particular set!

    He was admittedly A LOT bigger than me, but I got so pissed off I wasn't about to back down. Finally one of the employees in the gym saw us with our heads practically pressed up against each other really to rumble and came over to calm us down.

    Good thing too, I didn't fancy my chances against him. LOL

  14. my favorite douche, probably posted already, is the guy who does curls in the squat rack.

  15. I have a guy who puts this thing in his mouth too breathe through, its supposed to make it harder to breathe and help lungs or some crap, but he does the tread/eliptical with it and when hes breathes it sounds like Darth Vader... "woooooshhhhhhhhhssssswooooooo oooh" "wooooooooooshhhhhh" throughout the gym... and Its hilarious, esp once I pointed out to everyone that he was a Sith Lord.... anyways. Theres the guys who walk in and never look at you or acknowledge you, even when your polite. I always give the nod or hey pleasantry when I see someone looking at me, and I at least have some kid of idea what the people are like, I try to be friendly. I know all the big lifter guys and we all talk and They give me tips since Im pretty much the youngest guy in the gym. but theres those new guys who come in, workout by themselves and just seem awkward, give you the hibeejeepees when you walk by.

    As was mentioned I hate the guys who do half reps, the fat guys who do belly bounce reps, the losers who buy the bench vests but dont need one, just need to learn to work harder.

    Finally I hate this kid:

    Im working out doing my bench ( 3-5 sets of 7 at 215 nothing too extreme ) and I just finished my second set, and Im pretty pumped up and going crazy at this point like I just wana kill the weight, and he walks up and starts to talk crap about what his friends told him about me. This kids like 20 or 21, nears 300 pounds and looks like this -> O as in hes super fat. Hes got a fat ugly annoying face and about 20, 000 freckles. not to say anthing bad about freckles but its just hard to take him serious... anyways. His mom is the preacher at a strict religious church across the street, like they cant wear shorts and stuff. and he walks up to me talking crap. Im not in the mood for this BS so im like, aite, which biotch told you that? and hes like oh I cant tell you, so naturally I call him a ***** and his friends a *****, and then he gets mad and says its his cousin who is my age, who I confirm is a *****, and he says hed beat me up, and i say Id whoop his ***** ass. He continutes to tell me that im lucky im not 18 or hed kick my ass, and I tell him to keep lifting, so I can go back to my sets. He says " oh I lift more than you" which I reply yea fat ass and you way three times as much too. The funny thing is I dont think he lifts more than me, but Id never know cause he comes in like once a week. So the preachers son walks across the street back home after threatening me and cussing me out... hahaha. yea and by next week half the gym heard about me almost tweaking on him. People already know I have a bit of a violent temper. But now they know Im not afraid of fat kids either. Anyways moral is, I hate guys who talk crap in the gym, who don't know what they are talkin about. Shut up and lift.

  16. Although it doesn't happen to me, I see the "people" in my gym that like to chat with everyone and barely workout themselves. There's this one older dude that always has a weight belt on, wrist straps, and gloves etc.. and barely works out when I'm there, yesterday I think I only saw him do some preacher curls in the whole hour I was there. The few people I know at the gym we're always like whats up or a hey nod and continue working out.

    I do hate the hot chicks though... hard to not lose concentration

  17. I hit the gym at 6am so there is about a dozen senior citizens in there. I love it because they stay out of my hair and are polite not like the crowd that comes in in the afternoon which is a bunch of punks that walk past me and try to grill me as they walk by. The fist time it happened i immediatly stopped, turned around and said "do you have a problem with me because your body language tells me you do? and then before he could answer my question i said "if you do, i suggest you forget about doing whatever action your thinking about in your head and never think about it again". mind you im 28yrs old and he is clearly no older then 19 or so in his 1st year in college. I proceed to give him the speech on how im a war veteran and been through alot of madness and how some people wouldnt think twice about snuffin his *ss, but i aint that guy...save your "im crazy" act for these other kids and respect your elders(even though im only 28, but simply give respect when respect is due is all im tryin to say). So he turns around and leaves. About 2 wks later i see him at the gym and he comes up to me and strikes up a conversation like nothing ever happened between us. I did the same. I think i got my point across and i hope he remebers that incident next time he thinks a crazy thought. I dont start stuff with anyone nor do i give into anyones childish behavior. Thats the only incident i have had...everyone respects me so i do the same.

  18. thats what its all about, respect. Everyone deserves it, until they get out of line.

  19. Welll most of the guys at my gym are pretty hardcore, thers about 8 who dont doo to much, and a few people who just show up randomly. theres also about half of the pop is women, but all they do is walk and there are plent of machines so no big deal. I go to a gym called "Procare" they have physical therapy along with a gym, I dont live in a city. and its a chain, so theres a bigger several story one with indoor soccer fields in town about 20 mins away, but a smaller one is the one I go to about 30 seconds from my house, in the worlds smalled town... anyways. the weight room/ machine room is just one big room. with a front desk. there is a guys and girls changing room, and bathroom but they arent huge. and a back room for the physical therapy that like no one really uses. So Its pretty simple and just has one of each bench and machines etc. But that means if someones using it, then you gota wait. alot of days I can go in and Ill be the only one there. only one. sometimes me and my lifting buddy go, and its like a private gym. I love it. but everyonce in a while it seems all the "lightweights" decide to show up at night plus the like 5 big guys... so theres like 12 guys in a 15x15 area all trying to lift, and I mean its cramped tight... It kinda sucks but you just gota work through it. My fav is these three guys started working out here, they are from down south and are in town to work on an oil rig. Two like 5 8 270 pound monsters with crazy facial hair and awesome accents. I made best friends with the one and I directed him to the local GNC (45 mins away lol) and advised him on shopping for supps online. I also had to give my opinion on jack3d hahaha. I also usually get the "what are you going to college for" when I start talking to fellow lifters then have to explain im a junior in highschool. People always assume Im around 20, and thats not really something that bothers me I kinda like it :P anways that my complains and satisfactions.

  20. Quote Originally Posted by CountryLiftin View Post
    Two like 5 8 270 pound monsters with crazy facial hair and awesome accents.
    5ft 8 and 270... jeezus, how the heck to they move around an oil rig lol. I've got a body whose worked on rigs from Russia and now is somewhere in the Gulf. He makes crazy money though for his age, well well over 6 figures.

  21. haha yea they may not be quite 280 but they are huge, biggest guys Ive seen around here. Idk what they do, maybe they drill for the oil by hand LOL. the one guy just has the broadest shoulders Ive seen. looks like a gorilla. and his buddy is probably a little taller maybe near 6 and big ole beard and stuff. They have a little friend then who is like 160 haha its so funny to watch them lift cause they throw off like 250 and put on like 95 for this guy.

  22. So we all know of the housewives that go walking around the neighborhood together right? Nothing wrong with it. Sometimes they have a stroller, a dog, some jog, some walk in groups shooting the ****...no big deal. But the gym crazy has created a branch off of this: middle aged fat-assed soccer moms that go to the gym in gaggles and walk on the treadmills just so they can gossip and not work as hard!!!! They arrive in hoards!!! I love seeing the ones who pump their arms real fast but are walk about half the speed of smell, lol.
    IN 27 YEARS I'VE NEVER GONE 0-4 IN WILDCARD WEEKEND!!!
    until now. yup I put money on every game too. excuse me while i go drink myself smart.

  23. Quote Originally Posted by neofrost83 View Post
    So we all know of the housewives that go walking around the neighborhood together right? Nothing wrong with it. Sometimes they have a stroller, a dog, some jog, some walk in groups shooting the ****...no big deal. But the gym crazy has created a branch off of this: middle aged fat-assed soccer moms that go to the gym in gaggles and walk on the treadmills just so they can gossip and not work as hard!!!! They arrive in hoards!!! I love seeing the ones who pump their arms real fast but are walk about half the speed of smell, lol.
    I see this on my days off when I hit the gym at a normal time, thankfully my reg time is midnight to 1ish and I see no one, well the creepy guy who looks at me from time to time, but he's just creepy.... the housewives you speak of make me laugh....
    RIP Ryan, :(

  24. The ******* who designed my gym to put the weights section of my gym upstairs only accessable by a floating staircase so that after a really heavy leg workout everyone gets to see you hobbling down the stairs like a drunken-porn-star-pensioner who just recently had their hip replaced... Is a douchebag.

  25. Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post
    The ******* who designed my gym to put the weights section of my gym upstairs only accessable by a floating staircase so that after a really heavy leg workout everyone gets to see you hobbling down the stairs like a drunken-porn-star-pensioner who just recently had their hip replaced... Is a douchebag.
    Amen I hate the place Im going to now. I swear everything is literally on top of each other. Dont know how many times I bumped into sh1t while just walking today. I know Im not the smallest guy in the world but it was unreal how I had to move around that place. Only good thing free month pass lol. Oh and the chicks look a little better.

  26. So last night I finished up at the gym and walked out of the shower. And I could already see I was going to get an ear full of BullCrap. So there was these 3 kids maybe in high school, talking about supplements. And I almost lost it because the one kid "I know all about supplements kid", was informing the other two kids that all you need to take is creatine for building muscles. (and when I say that he said that was all you needed that is what he said.) I was just about to finishing up while I was leason to this crap, and was going to "inform" them that this moron was wrong. I realised that I just didn't care anymore and just finished packing up my stuff and walked out shaking my head.

    And drank my post workout protein shake.
    Arnold Classic: 2009 - 2015
    Comments by this person are their own personal opinion and should be taken as that. Unless quoted from a different source.

  27. LOL^ that was a great story.

  28. I love going to the gym with NO ONE in there EXCEPT creepy guy!!!This guy who wears a sweatband, either purple or blue and follows you around the gym with his eyes, stares right at you and god forbid I'm running which I did last night and tonight, does the machine facing me, which he did last night and tonight...ugghhh tomorrow night i'm going to say something or better yet I might take someone from work with me, he said he wanted a training partner, why not...

    TC
    RIP Ryan, :(

  29. Quote Originally Posted by WarcraftJJS View Post
    So last night I finished up at the gym and walked out of the shower. And I could already see I was going to get an ear full of BullCrap. So there was these 3 kids maybe in high school, talking about supplements. And I almost lost it because the one kid "I know all about supplements kid", was informing the other two kids that all you need to take is creatine for building muscles. (and when I say that he said that was all you needed that is what he said.) I was just about to finishing up while I was leason to this crap, and was going to "inform" them that this moron was wrong. I realised that I just didn't care anymore and just finished packing up my stuff and walked out shaking my head.

    And drank my post workout protein shake.
    LoL good stuff i almost had that happen the other night. This older guy who shows up to the gym maybe once a week, was preaching MuscleTech products hard and their effectiveness. I was going to turn around and save everyone the BS he was preaching but i decided i had enough i was tired and didn't want to spend the time educating them. If they are dumb enough to take their Cell-Tech and naNO Vapor so be it. Its not my place to sit there and debate it.

  30. Quote Originally Posted by Vance View Post


    Yeah I never understood the **** gobblers who work out in jeans.

    That asian juicer I mentioned needs to be mentioned again, he's started cutting and is obviously all hopped up on clen and hitting the treadmill and he rocks the Travolta Saturday Night Fever strut sweating bullets as he saunters along at 4mph.

    Edit: Haircut is also surprisingly similar. Just add some thick Clark Kent glasses and make him asian and it's him.
    I met this notBig Vance in the gym once . . fluro-kilt wearing douchbag doing 20lb curls in the squat rack pimping NeoVar . . .mwahahahaha! What a douch!
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