Men's Fraternity: The Quest for Authentic Manhood

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    Hey B, I really want to respond to the questions, but the 1000 word limit puts a real damper on my responses. I had to cut out some of my last responses, (hated that, had some important things to say)Actually I think I may have to respond in sections. I will see how that works.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABNRanger View Post
    Hey B, I really want to respond to the questions, but the 1000 word limit puts a real damper on my responses. I had to cut out some of my last responses, (hated that, had some important things to say)Actually I think I may have to respond in sections. I will see how that works.
    Wow! 1000 word? I have thousands of words but am always challenged to get them into text. I'm an inspirational responder that usually comes in waves.

    I imagine I would really enjoy doing this group with you in person. Some guys are pretty superficial when it come to these sort of things. I prefer to "go deep".

    If you need to, use as many posts as you wish. It's there for you to use - have at it man!
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    Yeah, thanks for that, that is what I did. Reading that Looking Back document, I felt like I was reading about me; it was so deja vu. Almost brought me to tears, so many bad memories came to light (had to throw on my warrior face to keep it together). I will say this, this class has really opened my mind and heart to a whole new spectrum of this thing called manhood. Thank you for opening this threat and group.
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    B, I totally understand that and as a matter fact my wife and I could have played the main role in this movie. What I was wondering is how some of us handled the candle light dinner situation. As far us as Husbands goes, most of the situations that happen in our homes falls and reflects on the Husband. Since we are appointed by God to be the leaders of our home. Now I know that women basically run the house and or anything else they can think of. But in reality managing our house is our responsibility. In a lot of instances we (self included) sit back and let the wife run it just so that we can live in peace. Tell me what you fellas think.
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    I believe and scripture supports the functional roles of provider, protector and caretaker, nurturer.

    By design we were created man and women and in the very nature of our creation there are distinct roles that there is no substitute or surrogate for.

    "An excellent wife, who can find? Her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”"
    Proverbs 31:10-12, 27-29

    In Chapters 19 and 20 the study get deep into these roles in Biblical application.
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    Thank you for posting these B.. I've really enjoyed reading these so far.
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    It's my pleasure.
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    Quote Originally Posted by B5150 View Post
    It's my pleasure.
    I am very gald you are doing this. I sent an excerpt to someone who is struggling with an Overly Bonded with Mother Wound.

    The timing was perfect.
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    Subbed, thanks B!
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    Yeah, I've said it before,.. but this thread is what it's all about. So many people have the wrong perception of what it takes to be a man,.. a real man. This here, is the answer!!!
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    This is a very interesting thing, when I get time to read it all it looks promising. I know your Wise guy B, and this looks like it could help people. As much as I have grown, my past still hold a couple knifes in my back and a few thorns in my side. Then again I have accepted that they will never go away unless I kill a man....
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    Here is Your Manhood Plan material.

    It was mentioned in Session 3: The First Step to Authentic Manhood: Looking Back

    Here is the link to Your Manhood Plan Social Group Discussion
    Attached Files Attached Files
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    Discontinued!


    Due to the lack of participation I will no longer facilitate the Men's Fraternity Social Group.

    Thanks.
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    Biblical Definition of Manhood


    Transcripts 17 and 18
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    Great stuff B! I'm reading the first doc and feeling convicted to be a better man already. We should all take this responsibility seriously as men.
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    I'm glad you like it.

    IMO, it is the literal and practical interpretation and definition of Christ-likeness and true masculinity.
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    "Lastly, to be a courageous leader, every man’s got to master to one obstacle in his life. If you’re going to be a leader, there’s an obstacle you’ve got to overcome. Everybody look up at me. This is Enemy No. 1 of men. It’s your feelings. Write it down. Feelings.

    Not too long ago a book came out called EQ. Now a lot of times, we know what IQ means, but we don’t know what EQ means. IQ is how we measure our intelligence, and oftentimes, it’s the measure of success in the academic community, or entrance into a college or university. But in this book EQ, it actually said that a person’s emotional quotient, or emotional stability is the greater predictor of success. And you know what? I’m in my 50s now, and I’ve worked with a lot of people in all kinds of arenas, and that is exactly my observation of life. I wouldn’t have called it “EQ” but there are many, many smart people – much smarter than I am and much smarter than a lot of people that they work around - who are limited, not because of their intelligence, but because of their emotions. They’re emotionally unstable. And the greatest predictor of success in the workplace and in life is how you master your emotions.

    Did you know it says the same thing in Proverbs 25:28?

    “Like a city that is broken into and without walls, so is a man
    who has no control over his spirit.”

    A man who bows to his feelings can never be a real man. Now, I’m not saying that you don’t feel. I’m not saying that real men need to suppress their feelings. Feelings are part of life. But greater than feelings is a sense of calling and my calling calls me above those things at times. In fact, at times I have to turn and put my face into the full gale force winds of feeling, and say ‘I’m not going to give in to you. I’m going to do what’s right.’

    A man has to have that kind of control over his feelings if he’s going to be an authentic man. You know, Jesus Christ in one of His very first tests - as He was starting the mission He was called to do - the very first thing that God does to prepare Him for that mission is send Him out in the wilderness for 40 days, without food. During that time, He becomes intensely hungry and tired, so all of His feelings are calling Him to satisfy His basic desires. At that point, He’s tempted by satan. So the enemy comes in at that point of weakened condition and he says, ‘hey! You can turn these stones into bread. Why don’t You do that?’ Now that sounds like a simple request, but listen – after 40 days without food, it is so easy to go, ‘Yeah! I need to do that. I’m hungry. I deserve to eat. I’m starving!’ And yet, part of His mission was to wait on God. So Jesus said, “man can’t live by bread alone. He lives by the will of God.”

    Then the enemy tempts Him and says -- because Jesus knows that part of His mission is to accomplish this work to reclaim a lost world – and Satan says to Him, ‘I’ll give You the world! All You have to do is bow down and worship me. We can end this thing right now and You can be comforted, I can encourage You. You can satisfy all these desires that are not being met for You in this moment. You can have it all!”

    Jesus shows His authentic manhood by standing in the face of satan’s temptation and telling him; “No, I’ll wait.” Guys, I tell you that because your greatest enemy the rest of your life to accepting your responsibilities, to leading courageously, to rejecting passivity, to turning off the TV and to getting up and investing yourself in a direct way with your family, is going to be to say “no” to a feeling. “No” to a feeling.

    Men have to live above feelings many, many times every day in order to be an authentic man. Ralph Waldo Emerson made this statement: “Nothing can bring a man peace but the triumph of principles.” And I want you to know nothing can bring a man the deepest satisfactions of his masculinity more than the triumph of truth in his life. Doing something to satisfy a feeling certainly will not do it. It’s kind of like candy – it tastes good for a moment, but in a just a short period of time it leaves you empty and starved – not truly satisfied. All this is a part of manhood. The first Adam abandoned his post of leadership; the second Adam chose to lead courageously."
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    "First of all, Genesis tells us that men were created by God to be social and spiritual leaders. If there’s one thing that Genesis shouts to us – although it does it in subtle ways – it tells us that at the core of masculinity is a unique and special kind of leadership. We’re not finished with all that that is yet, but it has very implicit social and spiritual dimensions attached to it. Genesis warns us in different ways – that we can go out in life and accomplish a lot, and we can be a lot and we can do a lot – but if we fail to incorporate these social and spiritual dimensions of leadership into our masculinity, our manhood will always feel incomplete to ourselves, and we will fall short with others.

    Genesis tells us that these two dimensions – the social and the spiritual dimensions – are absolutely critical in a man feeling good about himself throughout his life. When men abandon this leadership, for whatever reason, when the pursuit of this leadership is somehow taken away from them – you need to know that chaos always ensues.

    When men do not accept the leadership that Genesis presents, or when a society (a society like ours, by the way) ceases to teach young men this social and spiritual dimension of leadership that we’ve seen in the book of Genesis – or even worse, when a society begins to demean this kind of leadership and say it shouldn’t be a part of a man’s life – then it doesn’t take long before that society quickly becomes troubled. When men cease to embrace the things that we’ve been talking about is that society begins to be “dumbed-down”. Men begin to act like boys on a consistent basis. They shun the things that make them men. They ignore them; they no longer embrace them. They’re no longer honored among their society, they no longer reach up high for their masculinity. They begin to act like boys. In the process, women are forced to do what men won’t do.

    You know, what’s interesting – there’s a unique passage in the Scripture that speaks to a moment in the life of the nation of Israel. When, because of their rebellion, they turned away from God. They didn’t feel like they needed God anymore and they decided to go their own independent way. So God brings a judgment through the prophet Isaiah and he says to the nation: “Because you’ve ignored Me, because you don’t think you need My instruction, My understanding, I’m going to take real men away from you.” Then, as the prophet Isaiah pronounces this judgment, he begins to describe what that society will look like without real men. I want to read it to you on the screen. Here’s what he says:

    “For behold, the Lord God of hosts is going to remove the mighty
    man and the warrior, the judge, and the prophet, the diviner, and
    the elder, the captain of the 50; and the honorable man.”

    So the real men are gone, basically from that society. And here’s what the society begins to look like:

    “And I will make mere lads (that is, boys) their leaders, and capricious
    children will rule over them, and the people will be oppressed, each one
    by another; each one by his neighbor. The youth will storm against the
    elder and the inferior against the honorable. And when a man lays hold
    of his brother in his father’s house saying, ‘you have a cloak; you shall be
    our ruler; and these ruins need to be under your charge.’ He will protest
    on that day saying, ‘I’m not going to be your healer.’” (in other words
    everybody is saying, ‘somebody, take responsibility for this!’ And
    everybody’s saying ‘It’s not my problem; I’m not going to take charge of
    that.’) “For Jerusalem has stumbled and Judah has fallen. The expression of their faces bear witness against them and they display their sin in this society
    like Sodom. They do not even conceal it. Woe to them, for they have
    brought evil on themselves, O, my people!”
  23. Never enough
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    that is a well written piece
    This space for rent

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    A Man and His Wife


    Transcripts 19 & 20
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    B: thank you for posting these.. I always enjoy when I get a new notification on this thread and new stuff to read.. it is appreciated.
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    These principles transcend and are a must read for any man seeking to be an Authentic Man!
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    Servant Leader


    Transcript 21

    For Rosie!
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    Exclamation Transcript 22 Preview!


    THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD


    22. Fathers and Sons


    We are coming from marriage, where we’ve been the last three weeks, to parenting – to that great and noble ambition of parenting – how to raise healthy sons and healthy daughters. Today I want to start by giving you 3 models of parenting.

    1. On your outlines, I want you to look at the Absent Parent. Unfortunately, the absent parent is epidemic today. 40% of the American kids today, don’t have a mom or a dad at home. The epidemic is even worse when they are there physically, but are absent socially and emotionally. There are huge numbers of children who are being raised up in homes where either a parent is not there due to abandonment or divorce, or where the parents are there – but they aren’t there. Do you know what I mean by that? They are there – but aren’t.

    Many times today you may have two parents who are career-driven. In the 50s and 60s, the women used to complain about the career-driven husband. Unfortunately, when you got to the 80s and 90s – rather than the excess of the career-drive in the man being corrected –women joined the work force too. As we move into the 21st Century, I think a lot of young children will grow up not only suffering from the Absent Father Wound, but will also suffer from the Absent Mother Wound as they become adults. Mom just wasn’t there. That’s one style of parenting: the Absent Parent.

    2. On the other hand, there are some healthy things happening in our country today, and that’s what I call the Engaged Parent. Engaged Parenting, which I think represents the healthy new resurgence of parental involvement in children’s lives is occurring right now in our country. It’s good seeing moms and dads realize the importance of being close to their children, involved in their schoolwork, involved in their social relationships, attending their games – just being an overall part of their lives, which gives weight to a child’s life growing up. That’s such a healthy thing, and it’s so encouraging to see so many children having more of time and more attention from mom and dad.

    They figured out that a kid just can’t raise his or herself. They need that closeness, they need time and attention to grow up healthy and whole.

    3. I think there’s a third kind of parenting, and quite frankly, I think the third type is the best type. I’m going to call it Strategic Parenting. It’s a style of parenting that not only engages a son or daughter with time and attention, but also equips a son or daughter with the most important issues of life. So that when the go out in life, they go out confident about life.

    This week and next week I want to address some specific ways a dad can be strategic with his son, and then next week, strategic with his daughter. As you know, throughout Men’s Fraternity we have made one important point over and over again – and that is Dad, for a child, is destiny. Dad is destiny. His presence or lack of it has no ***** when it comes to shaping the formative beginnings of a child’s life. For a son, dad is –and dad always will be – a powerful reality in a child’s life.
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    even being irreligious, i have been appreciating these as they come out
    This space for rent

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    Fathers and Sons


    Transcript 22
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