"Lastly, to be a courageous leader, every man’s got to master to one obstacle in his life. If you’re going to be a leader, there’s an obstacle you’ve got to overcome. Everybody look up at me. This is Enemy No. 1 of men. It’s your feelings. Write it down. Feelings.
Not too long ago a book came out called EQ. Now a lot of times, we know what IQ means, but we don’t know what EQ means. IQ is how we measure our intelligence, and oftentimes, it’s the measure of success in the academic community, or entrance into a college or university. But in this book EQ, it actually said that a person’s emotional quotient, or emotional stability is the greater predictor of success. And you know what? I’m in my 50s now, and I’ve worked with a lot of people in all kinds of arenas, and that is exactly my observation of life. I wouldn’t have called it “EQ” but there are many, many smart people – much smarter than I am and much smarter than a lot of people that they work around - who are limited, not because of their intelligence, but because of their emotions. They’re emotionally unstable. And the greatest predictor of success in the workplace and in life is how you master your emotions.
Did you know it says the same thing in Proverbs 25:28?
“Like a city that is broken into and without walls, so is a man
who has no control over his spirit.”
A man who bows to his feelings can never be a real man. Now, I’m not saying that you don’t feel. I’m not saying that real men need to suppress their feelings. Feelings are part of life. But greater than feelings is a sense of calling and my calling calls me above those things at times. In fact, at times I have to turn and put my face into the full gale force winds of feeling, and say ‘I’m not going to give in to you. I’m going to do what’s right.’
A man has to have that kind of control over his feelings if he’s going to be an authentic man. You know, Jesus Christ in one of His very first tests - as He was starting the mission He was called to do - the very first thing that God does to prepare Him for that mission is send Him out in the wilderness for 40 days, without food. During that time, He becomes intensely hungry and tired, so all of His feelings are calling Him to satisfy His basic desires. At that point, He’s tempted by satan. So the enemy comes in at that point of weakened condition and he says, ‘hey! You can turn these stones into bread. Why don’t You do that?’ Now that sounds like a simple request, but listen – after 40 days without food, it is so easy to go, ‘Yeah! I need to do that. I’m hungry. I deserve to eat. I’m starving!’ And yet, part of His mission was to wait on God. So Jesus said, “man can’t live by bread alone. He lives by the will of God.”
Then the enemy tempts Him and says -- because Jesus knows that part of His mission is to accomplish this work to reclaim a lost world – and Satan says to Him, ‘I’ll give You the world! All You have to do is bow down and worship me. We can end this thing right now and You can be comforted, I can encourage You. You can satisfy all these desires that are not being met for You in this moment. You can have it all!”
Jesus shows His authentic manhood by standing in the face of satan’s temptation and telling him; “No, I’ll wait.” Guys, I tell you that because your greatest enemy the rest of your life to accepting your responsibilities, to leading courageously, to rejecting passivity, to turning off the TV and to getting up and investing yourself in a direct way with your family, is going to be to say “no” to a feeling. “No” to a feeling.
Men have to live above feelings many, many times every day in order to be an authentic man. Ralph Waldo Emerson made this statement: “Nothing can bring a man peace but the triumph of principles.” And I want you to know nothing can bring a man the deepest satisfactions of his masculinity more than the triumph of truth in his life. Doing something to satisfy a feeling certainly will not do it. It’s kind of like candy – it tastes good for a moment, but in a just a short period of time it leaves you empty and starved – not truly satisfied. All this is a part of manhood. The first Adam abandoned his post of leadership; the second Adam chose to lead courageously."