Going to see a psychologist this thursday...
- 11-04-2008, 12:04 AM
Going to see a psychologist this thursday...
I've suffered from social anxiety for years. I started taking Zoloft about 3 months ago to help, and it did, for about 2 months. Now, I'm completely unmotivated aside from working out and eating well.. Literally, those are the ONLY 2 things that I can get excited about on a regular basis, those are the only 2 things that bring me joy lately. Not sure how this Thursday is going to go, but I cannot wait to get in there and get things figured out. I feel worthless, I'm pretty certain I'm falling into a depression.. It's been a rough few weeks w/ no sign of improvement. Really hoping my appointment will bring some type of relief in all this. I'm literally sabotaging and self-destructing my progress in school, and my relationships. Not good.
- 11-04-2008, 12:10 AM
Well i know that acts of kindness raise your seratonin levels and immune system function. Volunteer for a worthy cause, you will feel great about yourself. I think when you get "down"
you have to ask yourself what am i doing to ensure i feel amazing? Live amazingly and you will feel better, help people, watch inspirational movies, hug people, volunteer, spend time with your family doing fun things...
I dont think drugs can "fix" you, experts give you advice but its up to you to make the changes, you can do it buddy, heres some karma!!
- 11-04-2008, 12:12 AM
Thanks a bunch SWG. Those sound like some great ideas.. good for me, good for others too!
11-04-2008, 12:31 AM
I went to a psychologist a couple years back. I was depressed. MASSIVELY depressed. This was before I found religion, and all such things.
I still remember is name, his office, his advice. Matt was his name.
He worked with me alot. At first it was a weekly visits on Wednesdays for an hour. After about 4 months of that, I improved enough to do every 2 weeks. Then once a month. And finally came the day I walked into his office, we talked and we shook hands for the last time, and I was a new being. He did all he could do, I wasnt perfect, but I now had the tools to work on myself with. I walked out of that office for the last time, and closed one chapter of my book, and opened another.
Sadly after that I went through the hell with my girlfriend (she was jumping back and forth during the time I was going to him. He was one of the reasons I didnt lose it) then she chose me. For awhile life was perfect. Then hell, then super hell. I was depressed again.
But once you learn to deal with it, those tools never go away. you might have to learn to re apply them to new situations.
He will most likely at one point show you and explain the wheel system of balancing your life.
I too have a habit of sabotaging my school, putting myself in debt, and ignoring friends. Unless they need my help, which is when I actually feel good.
Being needed, and being helpful to other people helps ALOT. The gym is where I get out my frustration and pain. Church was the best medicine. Besides a source of never ending love. I am a youth leader, and I drive a church van with all these little kids who call me Mr. Paul and get excited when they see me, and hug me when they go by. I have friends who call or talk to me when they need help.
Be a beacon of light for others, and the light you shine shall consume the darkness within.
Life isnt perfect, and my mind often finds ways to try and drag me down. Which is why I will get into games or just sleep, or lay there and daydream all day.
It is a process you must go through. The war in your mind is just as real to you as it is to an american soldier in Iraq. Psychologists understand this, they know that ones mind can make ANYTHING real to oneself. And it is not just a simple matter of "shut up and suck it up" it holds real dangers, and can hurt really bad bro...
Do you think it could have anything to do with your 2 weekers your doing?
Also man, you can PM me anytime you need. And if you ever wanted I could pass you my #. My job in life, as a person going to be a teacher, youth pastor, and personal trainer, is to help others. I cannot exist without serving.
You have probably seen me on here lately going through things. I go through 1 or 2 weekers sperts, but I know I will get out of it. I lost my job, dealing with my ex again(cant avoid the person situations suck), but I find help in a couple people on here, and by helping others.
SWG is right, serving others, makes you worth something, in a world full of selfless people, you make a difference, when you extend your arms, in a world of apparently limbless torso's....
11-04-2008, 12:59 AM
Don't worry zarka, we're all pullin' for ya. You'll come out on top sooner or later. I've been in this situation and can honestly say that things will get better. [img]http://*************.net/happy-smiley-794.gif[/img]
11-04-2008, 01:08 AM
Thanks a bunch guys and gals. The encouragement is very nice .
Zero, I really appreciate you sharing that with me, I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to God and the never-ending love that He provides.. It's just that at the moment, that seems sooo far away. I'd be more apt to think that my 2 weekers were the cause of this if it only affected me on "off" weeks, but this is just non-stop.
11-04-2008, 01:16 AM
Yeah there are plenty of times some of us feel like God is just too far away. hang in it bro. Like I said these psychologist are really good at what they do. Well some are. If you arent feeling the psychologist, drop em and move on to another. You have to find one that clicks, I got lucky and had one my first try.
11-04-2008, 01:29 AM
Nothing wrong with not wanting to socialize with people or do things that are boring when you have other things that interest you.
Been to a Psychiatrist before just to f**k with her head, there's a "model" or right way everyone should act, they believe to be "normal".
So what if you don't want to socialize with people? I can't stand direct eye contact and cuss people out if they keep starring, I hate being to parties because I stand most "men", don't like being around people I don't know and I get agitated and want to hit everyone that moves or makes noise.
You're not coming from a burger facility, where everyone looks the same, people are different.
If you have no interest in something, that's because it's boring, if you get social anxiety, it's because that situation is lame and you can't bring yourself to the level of the people around you, either retarded, socially stupid or all the above, neurotypicals can be the worst people to deal with.
11-04-2008, 02:05 AM
11-04-2008, 02:07 AM
11-04-2008, 02:11 AM
11-04-2008, 02:16 AM
11-04-2008, 02:25 AM
11-04-2008, 02:37 AM
I had it rough in elementary school myself. But I had to get over that.
Nowadays I have really bad teeth, even though I spend a lot of time taking care of them, genetics screwed me. I don't like to smile, girls seem to still be attracted to me though because I am usually the only dedicated, nice, give all to someone in need guy they ever met. But I still always hate my teeth, and compare. I always say if it wasn't for my teeth, I would be in amazing shape for anything.
I got over it. I had to, no one has said a thing to me about my teeth in years. Unless its when I complain about them, and they try to be a good friend and tell me it's not that bad.
You have to carve your own rules out for yourself bro. Limit yourself not you the people around you. See yourself 2 years from now. Think of how far you have come from before. And realize that people probably think a lot more of you than you think they do. We are our own worst critics.
Also the coming up with stuff to talk about part is something that just takes practice, and letting yourself not care. It took me a few years of trial and error before I was able to have witty comments, or to be able to influence a discussion into a goal I desired.
11-04-2008, 10:38 AM
Since you're going to see a professional, I'll refrain from offering my amateurish advice....I did want to offer my support though...Its things like this (and Rodjas thread) that make me still enjoy posting on message boards...seeing guys be supportive of people they dont even know is very encouraging to say the least...good luck!
11-04-2008, 10:39 AM
Try some poetry, or spending a lot of time with one person who you always have fun with!
11-04-2008, 01:09 PM
Oz, have you looked into nootropics (they're OTC)? If not, I suggest you look into them. You can buy them in bulk powders if you like so you can cap them as you see fit.
Hope all is well,
11-04-2008, 01:14 PM
11-04-2008, 01:24 PM
I do corporate presenting and it's good to have something to mellow me out if I get a little too excited Also, I'm looking for a good memory enhancer. Keep me posted on how Pic and PEA work for you.
11-04-2008, 01:27 PM
11-04-2008, 01:30 PM
hey ozarka. i know how you feel, though we are different as of now. i used to think i was afraid of people. but now i realize that i was just afraid of myself as well, of everything. i realized that when i looked at people, i was seeing my own uncertainty in their eyes. in short, each set of eyes i looked into was my own uncertainty staring back at me. because i guess on the subconscious level i did wonder and still wonder why existence is. yeah, some existential bullshet.
but now i've come to enjoy looking in others' eyes. now that i see that. not living life is not going to benefit you or me. find your way just as i am trying to. it's good you're taking steps. keep taking them.
p.s.- i find that i am really enjoying GABA (it's in the White Flood I am taking for a log) and I am taking some Relora on the side with my vitamin post-workout. These things seem to make me "chill." I sleep like a champ as well (with vivid dreams).
Get better, champ.
11-04-2008, 01:32 PM
Thanks a lot for the encouragement, means a lot. That goes for all you lovely AMers!
11-04-2008, 01:37 PM
I am going through literally the same thing. Hope all works out well for you.
11-04-2008, 02:24 PM
11-04-2008, 02:24 PM
Good luck man! Hopefully this kinda feeling can end for you sooner or later as you work things out..
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11-04-2008, 02:37 PM
Also, I think this has something to do w/ realizing just how crappy the world really is. My sister got knocked up (she's 16), other parts of my family are just falling apart, younger guy I knew hanging himself about a week ago...
I do believe all that has played a large part in all this as well... It's easy to forget that these things have truly affected me, which I think is partly due to me not being man enough to admit that they really have impacted me. Oh me oh my.. this is all certainly craziness.
11-04-2008, 02:54 PM
Ozark no matter how cloudy it seems the sun still shines behind the coulds. IT always shines, its up to you to remind yourself of that.
I see that some members suggest using noorotropics to feel better, although i am not an expert on the subject, i will add that all of YOUR answers already lie within you, as you were born perfect.
I think it can be dangerous to so greatly depend on your surroundings or external devices for your happiness, because when you lose your job, your girlfriend or a family member you effectively lose your reason to be happy and your reason to live.
You my friend can have happiness within, by loving yourself. This love manifests in the activities spoken of in this thread by feeling loved, by yourself, you can act of love and create a never ending positive environment as it comes from within you.
It is easy at times to focus on the negativity of life, i for one have posted theads about global enslavement and conspiracy theories and corruption. Then i sit back hug my mom, tell my son i love him and pet my dog and smile. For knowingly this is not a hostile universe, it is a friendly universe and there is no harm that can come unto me that i do not volunteer.
At some point you may find that health is more important than mass and physical intimidation as many people wish to create this imposing frame of great intimidation over seeking health and happiness.
Its not impossible to ride the hormonal rollercoaster, alluding to zeros suggestion, but when you realise your are amazing it all of the sudden seems less important to sacrifice health over quick rewards when using hormones.
If the most important person in your world, your idol, role model or hero gave you a very precious gift... how would you care for it? How would you store it? Would you risk losing it, breaking it or damaging it?
God or at the very least your parents gave you life..... That is something worth taking extreme care of.
Ozarka is a great man, now act of it to feel what lies in you waiting to feel joy and love!!!!
11-04-2008, 03:59 PM
You might want to look into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.It's a type of therapy that was developed for problems like yours,
social anxiety,low self esteem,etc.It's highly effective and by working with a therapist,allows you to work out where the problem came from,what you can do to feel better,and how to implement it.
But whatever you decide to do,i hope it all works out for you.
11-04-2008, 05:09 PM
I don't believe that I have all of my worth in my muscle mass/physical intimidation factor. I know I'm small, I've got a terrible frame (or so it seems) for gaining muscle and looking like a bad A. That's ok . I'll admit I've had lots of body image issues in the past, even recently, but I feel now that I can be happy and confident in my appearance. You guys, with the collective wisdom and advice, have helped me to get to this point. I can't express how thankful I am. It seems I'm on my way to really loving myself, and that's a fantastic thought.
I do believe though, that the act of working out and eating for my physique goals is a huge factor in my happiness; if I couldn't work out, I'd seriously be depressed. You know, that is pretty dangerous, much more so that I give it credit for.
11-04-2008, 09:00 PM
I don't think I work out toward an end anymore really. I think that I do it for the act of it. It's "meditation" for me. I literally think of nothing when I am doing it, well, almost nothing. The one thing I am aware of is myself. My self. I simply let go of everything when I am working out.
I don't even care about the end results that much. I like eating healthy because it's good for my body/mind and their functions. I like working out because I leave this world while I do so. It's like sleeping while awake.
Sorry for the left-field post. Just thought I'd share something.
11-04-2008, 10:06 PM
Gentlemen my reference to the vanity aspect of hormonal suplementing was from a perspective that implies we are missing something to risk our health to "get bigger". I for one used hormones and now reflect and shake my head that i had become that obsessed with "gettting in shape" that i actually hurt my vital organs to get a few pounds of muscle quicker.
Then consider the psycological impact, not so much from damage but the quick fix, quick gratification can be addictive and the slower earned true rewards are not possible.
On a bb'ing forum im probably barking up the wrong tree but keep in mind i am considering your greater health over how cool i think you are for benching alot of weight.
I am what i am, i will make the most of it in a safe productive and sustainable manner. how many guys have "crappy genetics" "low test" and are "depressed" and how many of those same guys use hormones?
I dont deny life itself can be the source of these problems but maturity is learning and growing through hardwork, sacrifice, and dedication. none of those attributes involve quick fixes, damaging drugs and vanity inspired physical gain.
I think the need to be big comes from insecurity or lack of love for self. because otherwise you would just do your best, be healthy and if that meant getting bigger than so be it. Its this whole muscle at any cost thing that is a diease in here. the question remains what will you sacrifice for "gains" by any means?
Rant over, be healthy and happy.
11-04-2008, 10:51 PM
Supper happy I did though. The original intentions may have not been the best, but the payout has been good. And after I get out of my rut, they will be even better.
We all have ways of coping with things. My getting in shape is an addiction now. Though I have had issues with it in the last few weeks, I know that small bumps in the road are part of the learning process. And because I became so single minded, I injured both my legs pushing extremes.
11-05-2008, 03:38 PM
11-05-2008, 09:19 PM
Be sure to update us tomorrow bro.
11-05-2008, 09:29 PM
11-06-2008, 10:00 PM
Well, not a whole whole lot came from the meeting today. It was nice to get to let someone in on everything that had been going on.. I find it hard to talk to friends/family about some things because I just can't imagine any of them would ever understand. They will be invariably biased, and I can't bring myself to take someone's advice if I don't find it to be logical and sound.. Some people think they know what you should do, but in reality, it's just what they would do. So anyway, good talk. Got some stuff out, and am going to attempt to get a psychologist close by I can attend regular appointments with (mostly for my anxiety, which has been an ongoing problem for years).
So, overall, I feel like things are picking up, and honestly, I'm so glad I created this thread, because a lot of why I'm doing better are things I picked up in this thread. Thanks again guys, means a lot to have you people here to encourage and help.
11-06-2008, 11:47 PM
I know that most who have problems like this are intelligent. I too have problems. I hope everything works out for you. Seeking help is the first step and it show lots of strength.
11-07-2008, 12:17 AM
Good to hear things are looking to improve. No matter how much we have common sense, no matter how hard we train, no matter how smart we are. Sometimes, we just cant help but feel like crap, even if there is no reason to. It sucks,but that is how we learn, grow, and mature.
It really does suck always having a going on in your head though.
11-07-2008, 03:15 AM
In my experience (i have intense anxiety and depression), avoid effexor like the plague. And get plenty of sleep every night.
When you cant sleep, think of 100...or 1000 things you're thankful for. # depending on your level of restlessness
I medicate with alcohol and good friends ha.
Dont judge yourself and try not to be self conscious.
If you're religious, I can fix that, and you'll be happier
Write out your goals and what you'd like to do with your life.
Try not to think too much. People who are overly analytical (and intelligent) are typically depressed and judge themselves too harshly.
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
I hate too say it, but when I'm thinking 'too' much, I chew tobacco :0. it helps to drag my thoughts away from my problems.
Try not to think of things in black and white, good and bad. live in the gray area
11-07-2008, 10:45 AM
My friends used to ask me why I could stare out a window for like 2 hours. It was because, I can sit there and think for 2 hours. Its just because we have minds that dont stop. I write my college essays in 20 minutes, but it takes me 5 days of procrastinating to feel good enough to do it.
Its the Weird man. lol, thats what I call the weird things we do for no reason.....
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