I think there might be a little more to this than meets the eye, and that is the emasculation of the American male. I know the lines are grey and there are no absolutes, but these days in our country feminine values rank higher than male ones. People talk of self esteem, understanding, feelings, acceptance and compassion. Short thrift is given dignity, truth, right and wrong, facts and honor. Once more, not that any of these concepts are exclusively masculine or feminine, but I think you get my drift.
There's basically a war on men going on. Lots of kids grow up fatherless, with no suitable replacement. Maybe I'm too traditional but I think there are certain things young boys can learn about being men only by having a fair example nearby to emulate and learn from, a father or father-figure. I think all men should show compassion and understanding, they're admirable qualities, but there needs to be a balance in life and it seems things have swung way too far to the feminine side of the road. Instead of mom and dad running the world, now it's mostly mom. It's evident to me in a lot of things.
One, more feminine men wandering around. Lots of women seem to prefer waifs to guys with a physically dominating presence. One of my best friends used to date waify guys exclusively. Recently her taste has changed, I asked her why and she said she just didn't feel like she was with a man when she was with a smaller guy. Didn't feel safe, like he could handle things, etc. I guess the waifs just didn't inspire confidence in her, and not necessarily because of their physical stature but because the term waif could also be used to describe their personalities. Slight, pale and no real substance.
Two, laws and social policies that force men to walk on egg shells while women can run rampant. Every guy knows that, for the most part, he has to walk on egg shells at the office, because even a misunderstood remark with no ill intent could lead to a sexual harrassment charge. I've seen it happen to more than one guy as I've worked in various places. Once it was a guy who truly deserved a reprimanding because he was a pig. More often than not it was an oversensitive woman or downright maliscious one. One girl I knew, a complete flirt at work with almost every guy, ran one poor kid out of the office. He wasn't the best looking guy, a little awkward too. I had gone to school with him, he was just a bit of a geek is all. But, he had the tenacity to presume that because this girl flirted with every other guy he could flirt too. He wasn't up to her standards and she got him fired as a result. And she made it fairly clear talking to the women in the office that this was indeed her reasoning. Any guy but him, basically. My only comfort in that situation was that some of the women thought she was a slut and a bitch, but a good number of the women there apparently saw no problem with her reasoning, or thought he got what he deserved for not knowing that she was going to use sexual harrassment rules as a shield not to get hit on by guys she found unattractive, as was her 'right' apparently.
Meanwhile with a few exceptions women can basically walk around and say whatever foul, derrogatory crap that pops into their heads, or be as socially aggressive as they like, and have basically no fear of reprisal. This doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is that I have to restrain my own nature and behavior not out of respect but for fear of losing my damn job.
Another point is Father's rights. While making a slight comeback they are still basically ignored. Women can divorce a guy, will almost certainly get the kids and a significant portion of his livlihood whether she needs it or not, or deserves it or not, and then can move across the country with the father having no recourse. Essentially society has devalued fathers so much that once the pregnancy has run its course they really don't count in a lot of people's eyes. They're basically sperm donors.
You can see it in our own little world. Is it steroids that bother people, hormonal manipulation, or the fact that we're doing it to become more male as we see it? Is it the drugs or the fact that they enhance traditionally male aspects of our bodies and personalities? Is it possible a lot of women prefer guys who are waifs because they've been so sheltered from exposure to a genuine Guy that they find the idea and physical reality threatening? Perhaps that's why some as they get older and reality hits them, start looking for more traditional guys, like the friend I mentioned previously. Guys who are more concerned with working well and getting paid for it than with what type of fabric they are wearing. Guy's who'll do the right thing by children and help teach them how to survive in the real world, the basics of which don't necessarily include making sure you don't wear earth tones with black or grey.
It's also evident in the choices women make these days for partners. I've lost track of how many women I know that just keep picking assholes to date. I've lost track of how many times I've heard women say things like, "He's really a nice guy." Never considering that if he were a nice guy it'd be obvious to everyone and they wouldn't need to be told. The problem isn't this behavior, because everyone behaves like this when they're young. You have to learn how to make better decisions as you live. The problem is this behavior continues in a lot of women well past the point at which they should have learned better. And this is because they are indulged to much. Women keep going for the object of their adolescent fantasies, the mysterious bad boy, rather than growing up and making a real decision about who they want to be with for the rest of their lives, if anyone. Then they get pissed when the bad boy doesn't turn into a knight in shining armor. Because they've been so sheltered and indulged by society, the blame is never put on the woman for making shitty decisions about who to be with, but on the guy for somehow not changing his very nature to be with such a wonderful woman. I've lost countless friends to this nonsense, because I have no sympathy for it. You make a stupid decision and bite it, you get what you deserve. You do it twice, you're just a moron.
Take a look at a lot of the TV shows, the sitcoms out there. If they show a family it's either a 'non-traditional' family, or a traditional family where the husband is some dipshit who is always getting into trouble or doing something stupid and getting rescued or barely avoiding getting caught by a brilliant, successful long sufferring wife. Almost never is role of the father taken seriously, either as a disciplinarian or as a vital teacher of the kids, both young men and women.
Now, is all this a big deal? Could be, might not be. Societies always shift this way and that, back and forth with no real harm done in the end. These days however people are much more likely to try and cement social shifts with legislation. That's what scares me about any trend in today's culture. That and the fact that I get sick of seeing and hearing things that would have given the men who raised me a heart attack, and not being able to say anything, even express a contrary opinion, without offending someone to the point that they decide I need to be relieved of my job or a certain amount of freedom.
And as for me, if someone catches me gossiping about an outfit at JC Penny I want them to slap the **** out of me, at least until I get my good sense back.
