What is the craziest thing someone from the opposite sex has told you?

retrofitted

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Don't know if this qualifies, but about a year ago I dated a girl from the east coast for a short time in what was a very intense but short-lived relationship. She ended up flying out to see me in California after we agreed to call it quits, and on our final night together after a particularly intense argument she walked very calmly into the kitchen and returned with two bottles of wine and a ten inch chef's knife in her hands. I sat outside with her for three hours absolutely terrified watching her demolish those bottles, completely unsure whether or not she was planning on stabbing either herself or me, untill she finally passed out.

Never been so frightened in my entire life. Christ.
 
broda

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Don't know if this qualifies, but about a year ago I dated a girl from the east coast for a short time in what was a very intense but short-lived relationship. She ended up flying out to see me in California after we agreed to call it quits, and on our final night together after a particularly intense argument she walked very calmly into the kitchen and returned with two bottles of wine and a ten inch chef's knife in her hands. I sat outside with her for three hours absolutely terrified watching her demolish those bottles, completely unsure whether or not she was planning on stabbing either herself or me, untill she finally passed out.

Never been so frightened in my entire life. Christ.
The f*ck.... This thread makes me never want to go out with a woman again!
 
sidoious

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I will NOT be ignored!!!

fatal-attraction-glenn-close.jpg
 
bomcgraw

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Ok, so Vicki the vampire....

I was dating another girl who was kind of boring even though she gave great head (used to be bulimic, so next to no gag reflex left :D). Vicki came into the Circle K I was working at, late at night, like 1am. A little bit on the chubby side, long red hair, kind of pretty, not spectacular. Talked to her a bunch, she started coming in pretty frequently, just hanging out talking. Her parents owned one of the big carnival companies, she usually stayed at their place while they were travelling running the show. A week or two later, she came in looking a bit rough. Turns out her parents hadn't paid the electric bill while they were gone and it got shut off. I told her she could stay at my place till she got a hold of them and got it turned back on, I had a 1 bedroom apartment and a pull out sofabed. Figured we'd end up screwing, so even though I had a date planned with the other girl that night (universal studios halloween horror nights) I decided i'd break up with the other girl at the end of the date. She wasn't really upset, it wasn't a high energy/passion relationship for either of us.

So later after dropping her at home, I went back to my place and crazy vicki was there. She was wearing some kind of black sexy frilly/lacy shirt. we start making out, end up moving into the bedroom. start stripping down (nice big boobs on her) she rolls on top of me, still making out. after a bit she says "hang on a sec" gets up and heads to the bathroom. comes back and has something in her hand, I can't quite tell what from the dim lights. She climbs back on top and we're making out some more and she says "I'm a vampire" and at that moment I could give a crap less. Then she goes on with "I want to make you a vampire too" and i'm still paying more attention to her boobs than what she's saying. But I ask how and she says "first i've got to bite you, and then you've got to suck my blood" and I see that what was in her hand was a razor. So she starts biting on my neck which felt great then sits back up holding the razor and makes a thin cut across the one boob and tells me to suck it. as I start that she finally slides onto my d!ck and starts screwing.

crazy crazy bitch, but fun
Wow. I've had chicks that liked pretending I had a knife or some kind of weapon forcing them, but none of em ever actually cut themselves lol. That story is a winner for sure.
 
AaronJP1

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Don't know if this qualifies, but about a year ago I dated a girl from the east coast for a short time in what was a very intense but short-lived relationship. She ended up flying out to see me in California after we agreed to call it quits, and on our final night together after a particularly intense argument she walked very calmly into the kitchen and returned with two bottles of wine and a ten inch chef's knife in her hands. I sat outside with her for three hours absolutely terrified watching her demolish those bottles, completely unsure whether or not she was planning on stabbing either herself or me, untill she finally passed out.

Never been so frightened in my entire life. Christ.
She took your wine & smashed it?
How did she use the knife?
 

retrofitted

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No...she didn't handle alcohol well to begin with and drank both bottles dry. The entire time she just held the knife on the table in front of her. The point is, I had no idea what she was capable of doing and had to react very carefully to every move she made. Thankfully she passed out before anything desperate happened.
 
EasyEJL

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Wow. I've had chicks that liked pretending I had a knife or some kind of weapon forcing them, but none of em ever actually cut themselves lol. That story is a winner for sure.
nah, I can't win, i'm a rep :D

She was a good bit of fun while it lasted though
 
Jonbero

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Rahl

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it was more like a scratch than a deep cut, so just a few drops. but yeah :D
Suck f*ck. LOL. jo bro. Your story reminded me of that night with that crazy bitch I had. I had Bobbit fears all night long. Slept with both hands on my junk! :D
 
Jonbero

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it was more like a scratch than a deep cut, so just a few drops. but yeah :D
I honestly think you should win this because that's just fuking nuts. + I wouldn't be surprised if a crazy bich like that is carrying something nasty...
 
sidoious

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Suck f*ck. LOL. jo bro. Your story reminded me of that night with that crazy bitch I had. I had Bobbit fears all night long. Slept with both hands on my junk! :D
Bobbitt's a local legend where I live. Small town so of course everybody knows your business anyway, but it was interesting to see him parlay his notoriety into a crappy bartending job at a hole in the wall out here in Niagara County.
 
Rahl

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Bobbitt's a local legend where I live. Small town so of course everybody knows your business anyway, but it was interesting to see him parlay his notoriety into a crappy bartending job at a hole in the wall out here in Niagara County.
Hahaha. Didn't he take a stab at some bad porn also?
 
sidoious

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Hahaha. Didn't he take a stab at some bad porn also?
"Frankenpenis" I believe was the title. I think it also showed his reattachment surgery.
 

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"I should have f'd you when I had the chance! You and your wife up for a three-some? I could (do oral) on her while you get me."
Umm ........NO!! I don't play like that anymore!
This happened to my wife and I at a wedding. The bride's maid that I was paired up with asked me to point out my wife, so I did. She replied, "She's beautiful! Do you two swing?" I respectfully declined. :D
 
lukehayd

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This happened to my wife and I at a wedding. The bride's maid that I was paired up with asked me to point out my wife, so I did. She replied, "She's beautiful! Do you two swing?" I respectfully declined. :D
Yeah there's just something about the vows taken and forsaking all others! I used to have around 18 girls that I would hang out with before I got married and had several still want to get together afterwards. I will occasionally say hi to one or two if I see them anymore (the only two that were really more friends than just hook-ups) but the rest are completely out of the picture.
 
burnstacp

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While on a business trip I was at the bar and apparently my buddy told some chick I'm a stripper. I didnt realize he had, but I rolled with it anyway to see where it was headed. She asked if I'd still be in town the following week, because her friend was having a baby shower and she wanted me to come shower them with my babies. No lie! That was definitely a fun night. Same night I won a free VIP party actually.

In case you're wondering the answer is no lol. She and her friends were not showered. Although...
 

stxnas

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Women can be just as bad, if not worse than guys. I ran into a random bachelorette party one night when I was out with some of my buddies. I'm pretty laid back and shy, but I'm pretty outgoing when I drink. My buddies walked over to me after I was dancing with the bachelorette party. I looked at them and said,"I think I have some dollar bills in my underwear." They lost it when I started pulling money out of my underwear, lol. :lol:
 
AaronJP1

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I honestly think you should win this because that's just fuking nuts. + I wouldn't be surprised if a crazy bich like that is carrying something nasty...
hahahaha
 
John Smeton

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the hardone your the winner

the butthole scissor sex girl made you win

go to www.aisportsnutrition.com and pick a product of your choice

funny stories everyone, well almost everyone some of the stories I did not like, thanks for participating everyone
 
Tomahawk88

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the hardone your the winner

the butthole scissor sex girl made you win

go to www.aisportsnutrition.com and pick a product of your choice

funny stories everyone, well almost everyone some of the stories I did not like, thanks for participating everyone
Dang I just thought of a good one. Although I dont think the butthole scissor sex girl could be topped.
 
bomcgraw

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the hardone your the winner

the butthole scissor sex girl made you win

go to www.aisportsnutrition.com and pick a product of your choice

funny stories everyone, well almost everyone some of the stories I did not like, thanks for participating everyone
Ya that story is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. He definitely deserves the win. I'm laughing just thinkin about it lol
 
Tomahawk88

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Dang I just thought of a good one. Although I dont think the butthole scissor sex girl could be topped.
Screw it I will go ahead and tell my story. This was YEARS ago. At the time I was 17.

I was dating this girl. She tells me her grandmom got pregnant at 15... then she tells me her mom got pregnant at 15... she was 15... that definitely scared my 17 year old ass haha.
 
tilldeath

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congrats!
 
Testdriver

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I met this chick at work. She was cute and we got to talking. We went to the same high school but hung out in different crews basically. We hung out after work "as friends". Friendship became dating. One thing led to another....next thing I know we're in bed together....and she says to me..."I wanna have your baby"... Whoah nelly!!!! True story here....

So afterward I was tripping a little about that...so I did what any other guy would do in that situation.....

I married that batch and knocked her up!!!

Haw haw... Hey I love my wife... Get bent! :)
 

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