I guess it's a testament to how much I love this forum and how I regard some of you like family, even though we never speak.
I've been dating a girl for a full month now and we are very serious and discussing a future together. She is everything I have ever wanted and then some, and she says the same about me. In fact I've never met a more incredible person in my life and I am very happy and very much in love with her. I would love to marry this woman and be with her forever, I can honestly say.
However today a huge wrinkle in the relationship popped up. Going back, I have told her since day 1 that music is my life, I love to play music and listen to it, and in fact I was raised in the music business (please don't ask, because I won't tell). I also told her a few weeks ago that I have been trying to start my dream band for a few years now, but that I have trouble finding other musicians to play with because nobody takes it as seriously as I do.
A little background...without getting into details...sorry, but I value my anonymity here...I was the founding member of a band that has gone on to become one of the most successful modern-era punk rock bands in existence. I left the band when its success first started to really take off, due to the girl I was dating at the time getting upset about our extensive touring. I have remained friends through the years with most of the guys in the band.
Well, we recently made a mutual decision to do some reunion shows, release an album full of old material that we never released except for 7"s, and then finally record a new album (with the old lineup) and do a followup tour.
My current love went ballistic when she heard this. She has spent most of this afternoon crying and screaming at me about how she just wants to get married and have a family and a husband with a stable (aka "normal") job. I have told her over and over that this would only be temporary and that we were indeed very successful with the original lineup, and with the success of the current lineup I would bet that our little reunion would be an absolute runaway success. People love our old material from when I was in the band, there are websites out there saying it is the best the band has ever done, there are people who will not even listen to the new material because they like what we did years ago, so I know in my heart that the reunion will not be a waste of time and will not put me in the poor house. Rather, I am sure it would be a financial success and make my heart warm with a lot of wonderful memories.
But...she doesn't listen. She absolutely refuses to speak to any of the guys in the current band, which I have invited her to do. I wanted her to speak to them and see how it is not an outrageously crazy idea. At least in my opinion it is not crazy. I want to do this more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life, I miss those days sooooo much, every single day I regret leaving the band, I miss the comaraderie, the traveling, the music, the fans, I loved it all so much. I have to say that leaving the band is the number 1 biggest regret in my entire life. But now I have a woman I love who hates it all and refuses to even attend one single show.
What should I do? Any ideas? Compromise is not going to happen at this point. Should I throw away a once in a lifetime dream opportunity to do something I love, in return for keeping the love of my life? Should I go forward with it and hope she stands by my side?
I've been dating a girl for a full month now and we are very serious and discussing a future together. She is everything I have ever wanted and then some, and she says the same about me. In fact I've never met a more incredible person in my life and I am very happy and very much in love with her. I would love to marry this woman and be with her forever, I can honestly say.
However today a huge wrinkle in the relationship popped up. Going back, I have told her since day 1 that music is my life, I love to play music and listen to it, and in fact I was raised in the music business (please don't ask, because I won't tell). I also told her a few weeks ago that I have been trying to start my dream band for a few years now, but that I have trouble finding other musicians to play with because nobody takes it as seriously as I do.
A little background...without getting into details...sorry, but I value my anonymity here...I was the founding member of a band that has gone on to become one of the most successful modern-era punk rock bands in existence. I left the band when its success first started to really take off, due to the girl I was dating at the time getting upset about our extensive touring. I have remained friends through the years with most of the guys in the band.
Well, we recently made a mutual decision to do some reunion shows, release an album full of old material that we never released except for 7"s, and then finally record a new album (with the old lineup) and do a followup tour.
My current love went ballistic when she heard this. She has spent most of this afternoon crying and screaming at me about how she just wants to get married and have a family and a husband with a stable (aka "normal") job. I have told her over and over that this would only be temporary and that we were indeed very successful with the original lineup, and with the success of the current lineup I would bet that our little reunion would be an absolute runaway success. People love our old material from when I was in the band, there are websites out there saying it is the best the band has ever done, there are people who will not even listen to the new material because they like what we did years ago, so I know in my heart that the reunion will not be a waste of time and will not put me in the poor house. Rather, I am sure it would be a financial success and make my heart warm with a lot of wonderful memories.
But...she doesn't listen. She absolutely refuses to speak to any of the guys in the current band, which I have invited her to do. I wanted her to speak to them and see how it is not an outrageously crazy idea. At least in my opinion it is not crazy. I want to do this more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life, I miss those days sooooo much, every single day I regret leaving the band, I miss the comaraderie, the traveling, the music, the fans, I loved it all so much. I have to say that leaving the band is the number 1 biggest regret in my entire life. But now I have a woman I love who hates it all and refuses to even attend one single show.
What should I do? Any ideas? Compromise is not going to happen at this point. Should I throw away a once in a lifetime dream opportunity to do something I love, in return for keeping the love of my life? Should I go forward with it and hope she stands by my side?