Can someone PLEASE HELP me! I think I've seriously damaged my body..

[Bojangles69]

The problem I suppose is I don't have health insurance, but at this point I'm willing to pay for w/e it is I need.
Let me be honest about my life for a minute.

Between the ages of 17-19, I had a serious addiction to methamphetamine. Using it 15-20 times a day all day long for 2 years.
Then when my life got bad enough, and I caught a charge, I changed everything around.

I started working out, starting eating healthy, I got in the BEST shape of my life even though I had some serious problems with
anxiety, depression, paranoia, and hallucinations from the meth.

I'd still go to the gym everyday, as messed up in the head as I was, and just really tried to "beat the beast" out of myself I guess
you could say. After about 5 years passed, a lot of the depression and paranoia stopped, but the physical stuff was just starting.

I noticed back then I could NOT drink coffee or I would shake and have a panic attack seconds after drinking it.
I also noticed if I had a cigarette same thing would happen.

I also could NOT wake up early after this period of speed abuse early in my life, and I STILL can't wake up early.
Whats weird is this. After a few years my health "improved" and I noticed I could drink caffiene again w/out having a panic attack.
Now and days I drink coffee everyday, and it honestly doesn't do anything at all to me, when in the past I'd have a serious reaction.

It never really clicked into my head untill I wound up on an adrenal fatigue site, that I have a pretty serious case of adrenal fatigue.
I'm always tired in the mornings, I get hit with waves of strong fatigue during the day, I can't sleep at night for **** EVEN WHEN I
am tired as I am.

I feel like I've honestly broken my body. I also feel like speed/adderal, even beta blockers, all these medicines that have a STRONG
effect on the adrenal glands (I had to take beta blockers everyday to stop the panic attacks) wind up DESTROYING those glands
ability to produce the hormones they need.

I'm a living testimony of this fact. I HAVE also ran a couple cycle in my life, but ALWAYS with ancillaries, and always did short cycles.
It seems at the age of 29 (which worries me that much more) that there will be NO more putting ANYTHING in my body.

That is at least untill I found pregenenlone.
Hearing I should take this for my health, I did. My mind was BLOWN by how easily I could get up in the mornings taking this stuff.
I thought I fought some type of miracle cure. It didn't fix everything, but it removed my need to sleep 10-12 hours everyday, and
THAT IS HUGE for me you really need to understand. I'm able to fall asleep better, I still sweat at night and have all these odd health
issues. Hair falling out, diarehea every other day, hair turning white at 29, then these pits of fatigue during the day still.

But the pregenenlone has helped me A LOT. So naturally my first idea is "I should probably take 2 a day instead". BIG MISTAKE!
I will not be going that again after what I experienced yesterday. My vision became blurry, I had this fog in my head allday, I DID
wake up super early which was very cool, but I had these horrible side effects all day. I honestly couldn't see to well all day so
then LASTNIGHT, I STOP the pregenelone just to make sure its doing something in my body. Then today I sleep for 13 hours.

So the pregenenlone has absolutely been the MOST improvement I've been able to make in a long time.
This is making me seriously consider how badly all my hormones must be out of wack.

My question is, how else can I tackle this problem?
I believe prescription medicine is ****, and either all the pills I had to take to calm myself down after the speed, or the speed itself,
has caused this. Maybe even the couple cycles I ran I shouldn't have, just knowing my past.

Maybe I should have never touched coffee, but I did.

I suffer from many addictions I'll admit to that. Right now I'm totally clean, have been for 11 years, but I can't keep living like this.
I NEED to get this solved. I WANT to get back into the gym.

I'm VERY WORRIED about getting on hormones, instead of dealing with this and possibly taking the natural route, eating the most
nutritious foods I can, and not taking any more pills.

If this was YOUR BODY, would you take hormones? Would you stay on the pregenenlone? Yes its the only thing that gives me relief,
but I see this pattern of take drug = relief, then years down the road you just wind up with more. Either way if I find out my adrenal
glands are just shot, that my test is shot (which I'm assuming it is as I haven't jerked off in over 2 years - I haven't gotten a boner
in ages - don't laugh) I mean this sounds like I need TRT right?

I'm so scared guys I'll be honest. I feel like getting on TRT or hormones is throwing the towel in. The means my body will NEVER be
natural again. But w/out them... I'll probably wind up so depressed that I won't have any real choice.

What would you guys do?
I read these boards, I respect you all. Some of you people seem extremely intelligent.
I need a good plan, would you get on hormones? Is there something else I can do first maybe?

Thanks all and sorry for the long thread, but this is sooo important to me - Bo

 

[pillsRgood]

I don't know you, but your story makes it seem that you have a very addictive personality... If this is the case, stay the f away from more drugs, which includes hormones. There is no such thing as moderation for people who have addictive personalities....not trying to throw stones or anything...just an opinion

 

[atlninja82]

If it were my body, i would go see an endo or a male anti aging doc. Get a full hormone panel and have them tackle the problem. Sounds like your hormones are pretty out of wack, so consulting with a doc would be the best bet.

 

[Bojangles69]

/\ Interesting, thank you. I appreciate any help I can get on this.

 

[atlninja82]

no problem bud. Let us know if/when you get blood taken and what the results are

 

[Bojangles69]

When your hormones do get out of wack, is that usually a sign that they are failing? How likely is it at 29 that I can get everything working again naturally? I mean when I look at the FULL SCOPE of what I've done to my body, there are other people who have done SO MUCH more.

I abused speed for 2 years, I ran 2 responsible cycles. Then the beta blockers of course. I just can't believe this little amount of abuse caused so much harm. Or maybe it was because I was so young when addiction got the best of me. I don't know whether to blame the amphetamines more or the hormones more tbo. Would probably be stupid to raise that arguement here lol.

This problem didn't really happen after cycle anyway, it was about 1-2 years after I my last cycle. The only thing different in my life than was I wasnt sleeping well, and was drinking tons of coffee. So maybe I'm really looking too far into this. The speed/steroids probaly had less to do with it, than sleep deprivation and living on coffee the last 2 years.

Its time to get this settled one and for all. Thanks again.

 

[thyrod]

That is very unfortunate. I'm 19 and I'm in great shape and pretty healthy. I abused meth and coke a lot in my younger days(16-17) but fortunately my body handled it very well. I quit te **** although it was hard. I stayed pretty fit thought 16-17 because I would smoke before lifting. But anywho go get some bloods! You can over come this!

 

[thyrod]

I'm glad you got your **** together but every action has a reaction. And sadly enough most of us find out the hard way.

 

[Ken Powers]

First of all congrats on getting and staying clean for this long. Second,

If it were my body, i would go see an endo or a male anti aging doc. Get a full hormone panel and have them tackle the problem. Sounds like your hormones are pretty out of wack, so consulting with a doc would be the best bet.

Completely agree with this, and when you go be completely honest and open with them about everything you've done/taken. When you abuse the harder drugs like meth, you completely deplete your body of the ability to make/keep its hormones stable. When my dad was younger he took and abused many things, including meth. He recently got put on trt, along with a ton of other vitamins and stuff that bloodwork showed he was lacking.

Even with bloodwork by an MD, theres still some trial and error with what medications, hormone replacements, and vitamins/supplements will get you back to normal and feeling the best/at least to where you feel you can function, but eventually you (with a doctors help preferably) will get it figured out.

Also, the doubling up on the pregnolone situation you described is classic addict behavior (if some is good, more must be better), so be careful if you do go to a doc and end up getting put on stuff, check before you change around any of the dosages by yourself.

 

[Presa]

These are the ramblings of a meth user.....trust me, I know. You cant stop on your own. So, go get someone to take you, and get you into rehab. You know its what you need to do.

Good luck.........................

 

[Bojangles69]

These are the ramblings of a meth user.....trust me, I know. You cant stop on your own. So, go get someone to take you, and get you into rehab. You know its what you need to do.

Good luck.........................

Haha let me get something straight, are you trying to tell me I'm on speed right now? Cause you're a ****ing douchebag if thats what you're saying. Thanks for your "help" but go suck a duck you ****ing piece of dirt.

Its obvious I'm having HORMONAL issues and am getting EXCITED BECAUSE my HORMONES are out of wack. That was by far the most ignorant post I've ever seen on a discussion board in my entire life. Lets just skip everything this guy is saying, and assume because he writes a long/emotional post that he's on speed now.. INSTEAD OF THE PROBLEM HE'S **TELLING YOU** HE HAS. If I WAS ON SPEED, and you REALLY KNOW the "ramblings" of a methhhead, you'd also know
my post would read like this:

"devils are cool i eat my own **** children are evil the world must die" it would be a long post yes, but you wouldn't be able to derive even the least bit of sense from it. Where is the paranoia and hallucinations? Thats what meth does to a users brain. If you read the post you can tell YES I'm worried, maybe even a bit paranoid, but it sure as hell aint a drug induced psychosis. I KNOW BECAUSE I HAD IT 10 years ago. Maybe I still have symptoms of the psychosis, I don't care if I do, but please do not ****ing tell me I'm using speed. You couldn't have really insulted me any better if you tried, you arrogant ****.

-Bo

 

[Jahcuree]

Haha let me get something straight, are you trying to tell me I'm on speed right now? Cause you're a ****ing douchebag if thats what you're saying. Thanks for your "help" but go suck a duck you ****ing piece of dirt.

Its obvious I'm having HORMONAL issues and am getting EXCITED BECAUSE my HORMONES are out of wack. That was by far the most ignorant post I've ever seen on a discussion board in my entire life. Lets just skip everything this guy is saying, and assume because he writes a long/emotional post that he's on speed now.. INSTEAD OF THE PROBLEM HE'S **TELLING YOU** HE HAS. If I WAS ON SPEED, and you REALLY KNOW the "ramblings" of a methhhead, you'd also know
my post would read like this:

"devils are cool i eat my own **** children are evil the world must die" it would be a long post yes, but you wouldn't be able to derive even the least bit of sense from it. Where is the paranoia and hallucinations? Thats what meth does to a users brain. If you read the post you can tell YES I'm worried, maybe even a bit paranoid, but it sure as hell aint a drug induced psychosis. I KNOW BECAUSE I HAD IT 10 years ago. Maybe I still have symptoms of the psychosis, I don't care if I do, but please do not ****ing tell me I'm using speed. You couldn't have really insulted me any better if you tried, you arrogant ****.

-Bo

Easy big boy. These peeps are just trying to help. Get your hormones checked out and find a nutritional/supplemental doctor that knows what he's talking about. If it. Is adrenal fatigue, they can help you omit with all of this wiout any prescription mess that are just gonna mess with you even more.

Goodluck