So much to say but no time to gather my thoughts.
I took var at up to 100 mg a day, but I'm a guy. That being said, I didn't notice more aggression. It's a dht derivative if I remember right . Schwell is right tho, start really low and pay attention to sides. It's half life is 9 hours or so meaning the peak dose should hit by day 3 of that dose. If all is well increase a little and wait 3 days again. Over 20 mg prob isn't a good idea for u or the size of ur woman member.
Just my thoughts....
Diet looks good too. I like that approach somewhat, just make sure the fats are from healthy sources. You would prob be very surprised if u dialed in the diet and focused on gaining some lbm to tone up.
Either way, bravo for being married and deciding not to be the fat soccer mom...I bet ur hot