You're truly unaware of how close that is to the truth.
Example:
The time in question was a complete and utter gongshow that a) I would not have been articulate/mobile enough to take part in if it were not for the Red Bull; b) I should not have remembered.
I drank this 26 before the bar, along with the Red Bull, and proceeded to down more Car Bombs at the bar. Afterwards, I ended up at a party in the smallest house I have ever been in, with some of my Ecuadorian friends whom I had not seen in 4 or 5 years (I speak Spanish). Within about half-an-hour, about 20 of these latinos began fighting each other because one said to another, "tienes demasiados niños!" (which translates to, 'you have too many kids'), lol. Anyway, the cops got called, and we traversed to another friend's house about 20 minutes away, by foot, which was sad. At this point, finally, I blacked out; unfortunately, I was yet mobile.
In the morning, I woke up butt-naked from the pants down, and greeted my friend with 'The Goat' (ala Waiting) inadvertently. Now, if that wasn't bad enough I found out the following things occurred during my blackout:
a) We could not find my 6'6" 270lb friend 'Duggan' who plays on the Canadian National Rugby team, and went outside to find him. We found him passed out, with his shirt off, on the neighbor's lawn. Being as I am only 5'10", 170lb, I kicked Duggan and stated 'Fvck he's big. He's probably comfortable', and curled up on the fetal position on this dude's back. Where, apparently, we slept for about 4 hours.
b) I crawled into the back of the neighbor's unlocked car, upon waking from Duggan, where I fell asleep until being woken up by my friend's father.
EDIT:
Oh yeah, I forgot, I was kicked out of the bar for screaming obscenities at the bouncers because they wouldn't let me drink a bottle of off-sales Rum in the establishment, haha.
Double EDIT:
I cannot believe I forgot this part!! I lived with a friend during the summer, who I made extremely uncomfortable by walking around naked, and other things of that nature. Anyway, I loved to bother, harass, and otherwise torture him. When I came home that morning, he and his 'fling' were still in bed, and had ordered a pizza the previous night at stuck it in the oven. I proceeded to eat the entire large pepperoni pizza to myself, spilling Frank's and ranch all over the box. I then wrote, "I hate your face" on the inside of the box and put it back in (I was still pretty intoxicated in the morning) for them to discover. If that wasn't bad enough, I heard them fooling around, so I opened the door and said "slumber party" and jumped in between them. They kicked me out once I said, "Kenton sandwhich, anybody?"