My wife is hurting my nutrition efforts

[zwarrior99]

Divorce man! Sounds like you too need some time apart, I mean seriously, sounds like you both spend too much time together. Go out with your friends, leave her alone for a while. If not put some life insurance on her and

[goes4ever]

as much as I hate it, the only day my wife and I eat together is on my cheat day, other than that I cook all my meals separately, we never eat the same foods......ever. I have goals and she understands them, if she pulled that crap with me, it wouldn't fly. Let her get pissy, and not eat, maybe she'll lose some weight. When she is hungry she'll eat. Do what you got to do to attain your goals and don't let anything or one stand in your way

[Jergo]

Screw marriage, I wanna have kids, but not a wife. I'll work it out somehow, right? LOL, you should think how she's gonna look in the future, with all that eating under her belt. That thought would be enough to make me start packing....

If you love her more than anything, I can understand that, along with the wedding being planned and all, that can put you under some serious pressure. But when it comes down to it, will it last anyways? Thats what you have to ask yourself bro, sure you can go through all the official $hit, but is the actual definition of "marriage" gonna workout and fit into both of your lives? I'm sure if you can answer that, you'll have your answer...

[Tahq]

If you love her and want to stay with her for a life time you are going to have to accept the fact that she is going to be a bit 'pissy' about certain things. If its not food it will be something else, marriage is not going to make things any different and will not change a persons basic persona.

If you accept this idea then you are going to have to deal with it and can't use it as an excuse later on to get upset...you both knew what to expect from each other prior to getting married.

That being said you also need to shake off the 'feeling guilty' for not eating the junk she wants and try to deal with the fact she is not going to fully endorse your life style otherwise your goals will suffer. There is no guidline that two people need to have everything in common to be successful...my wife and I don't have the same political, diet, music, exercise, or hobbies, but we share the same core values, have common goals, and enjoy life.

My only suggestion on dealing with this is to try to keep enough of both types of food readily available so that it is easy to prep both meals when hunger strikes. I do most of the cooking and shopping because of my dietary needs and six meals a day and don't have a problem knocking her out a little grub to her liking while I'm prepping mine.

Best of luck and remember marriage is 'until death till you part' so always keep a shovel in the trunk!

[Rokdog]

"Remember marriage is 'until death till you part' so always keep a shovel in the trunk!"

This would make a good sig. Also remember this if she is doing the cooking. You don't want to end up with tiger whiskers in your soup.

[azgymrat]

It's my belief that a woman needs to have high standards! So... I won't have anything to do with any woman that will have anything to do with me. Solves that problem!

[WYD02]

Discussions with my wife do not work. I have settled on the fact that she is content with being on her way to fatass status. I will continue to do my thing, and when the time comes, I'll be gone.

This certainly is not for everyone and I wish it wasn't that way for me. My wife was always very good looking and sexy, but she doesn't seem to care anymore. I even posted in the PH section about trying to boost her libido and hopefully get things back on track for us. I've tried to be patient now for several years but I think it's time to move on as much as I hate to say that. One thing for sure, it'll be much easier for me to find someone new than her. Unless there's a major demand for fatass, self-centered women with no sex drive.

This one reminded me of my last relationship (around 5 yrs long). By the end of it all, she was getting overweight, was totally not concerned with me, and her sex drive was inexistant. Funny how the whole thing has made me upset for quite sometime, even though its almost a year after the fact. Anyway, wanted to say that I did crack up though when you wrote "One thing for sure, it'll be much easier for me to find someone new than her. Unless there's a major demand for fatass, self-centered women with no sex drive" hahahahahhaha

[VOX - DEI]

How much does a women who eats pizza a few time per week weigh?

If she is not 250 lbs now she will be in a few years, mark my words.

[ltnbob444]

Don't get married. She's manipulating you cause she wants to be first in your life and control you. It's a game she's playing although she may not be aware of it. She will never change. If you're not happy now you will feel worse after the marriage. I have a friend who had a wife like that, a total control freek. He finally walked out one day and drove to Florida and never came back. Now he's remarried and claims to be really happy. Relationships require both persons to compromise. She's not doing her part now and probably never will. Either go to couciling now before the marriage or kiss your peace of mind good-by.

[GeneTikz]

divorce.

[Rotty22]

I know what all of y'all are saying. My wife doesn't believe half the stuff I tell her about diet, exercise and health, but if she reads it in Cosmo it's gospel. I was probably a little over anxious when I first started working out and eating right. Always talking and obsessing over food and exercise. I realized I was bugging the sh#@ out of her, so I stopped talking about it. Now, she says she wants to eat better and workout. Of course, it is always next week, next week, next week. I figure I will guilt her into doing something. If I look better, she'll want to also. We'll see what happens. But I'm fighting against the "ladies" at work (mostly fatasses) who say in moderation sweets and crap are ok for you. Well, my moderation and theirs is on opposite ends of the spectrum.

[ProBuck]

Sounds like she might be thinking you think SHE ought to stay off the junk food when you choose to skip it.

[VanillaGorilla]

The saying 3 sides to every story usually applies to relationships. I guess I'll play devils advocate here. Here are some observations and suggestions.......
1. Seeing that you are engaged, I assume that you love you gf enough to spend the rest of your life with her. Are you seriously going to throw that away over food?
2. I think body building can some times border on obsessive compulsive. I have known people who are so obsessed with their body fat percentage that they never have one cheat meal ever. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in shape but just remember that is a whole world out there to experience. Missing a few work outs and having a few cheat meals here and there aren't going to kill you. Most of us aren't going to make a living as a pro bodybuilder.
3. From your first post you are blaming her for they way you are eating. That really isn't fair. There are other options as other people suggested such as getting a sub or something more healthy or just making your own dinner.
4. You both work at home you are constantly around each other. Sometimes in situations like this one of you will get of the others nerves. It might be a good idea for both of you to take some time for yourselves each day to get a break from each other.
My advice to you is don't throw away a relationship over an issue of what kind of food you eat. Do you want to end up being that creepy 50 year old guy at the gym hitting on the 20 year olds?
That being said sit down and talk to her about it. Just explain to her that you want to get in better shape for the summer and tell her you want to eat a little better than normal. Have the pizza once a week on a cheat day and take her out to a restaurant where you can both get what you want once a week or something.. Relationships are hard some times. You both need to compromise. Use this to set up a way to deal with disagreements in the future because I am sure a more serious issue other than nutrition will come up eventually.

[Yimen E.Cricket]

UPDATE:

It turns out she is puking in the bathroom after meals. Evidently, this has gone on and off since she was a teenager. I caught her puking after a sandwich and she spilled her guts. No pun intended.

It turns out, she can eat whatever she wants because she purges anyway.

I have spent the last 2 weeks struggling with the issue. She is no longer discreet about it since she told me the truth. Or maybe i just know what she is doing now and it seems indiscreet.

She is only 23. She can gain weight easily and she has used the puking to trim down nicely. It seems she is getting rewarded for gagging herself.

What should i do?

She says this is due to her fathers actions when she was 15-16.
He would force her to stand on a scale everyday and if she did not lose any weight she would be grounded. She claims to have been grounded and locked in the bedroom after school for almost 2 years. He would call her fat names and treated her with disgust. She left home not long after her 16th birthday but i guess the scars remain.

What am i going to do?

I would like to go over and kick her fathers ass! Thats what i want to do! I can imagine the torn flesh ripping from his face as i punch downward on to his nose with intentions of removing it from his face.

What am i going to do?

[morfiend]

if you do indeed care about her convince her to get some professional help. counselor/psychiatrist

[intv]

Jesus, that's screwed up (about her dad)! Get her some help, man. Bulimia is bad enough, but that kind of abuse had to really mess with her head. I don't think anyone in their right mind would blame you for ****ing her dad up, but it just wouldn't help - it would probably only make everything worse. Do you guys have insurance coverage? Find out if the policy will cover some counseling. My father in-law was an abusive alcoholic and my wife has a host of emotional probs as a result. I feel for you.

UPDATE:

It turns out she is puking in the bathroom after meals. Evidently, this has gone on and off since she was a teenager. I caught her puking after a sandwich and she spilled her guts. No pun intended.

It turns out, she can eat whatever she wants because she purges anyway.

I have spent the last 2 weeks struggling with the issue. She is no longer discreet about it since she told me the truth. Or maybe i just know what she is doing now and it seems indiscreet.

She is only 23. She can gain weight easily and she has used the puking to trim down nicely. It seems she is getting rewarded for gagging herself.

What should i do?

She says this is due to her fathers actions when she was 15-16.
He would force her to stand on a scale everyday and if she did not lose any weight she would be grounded. She claims to have been grounded and locked in the bedroom after school for almost 2 years. He would call her fat names and treated her with disgust. She left home not long after her 16th birthday but i guess the scars remain.

What am i going to do?

I would like to go over and kick her fathers ass! Thats what i want to do! I can imagine the torn flesh ripping from his face as i punch downward on to his nose with intentions of removing it from his face.

What am i going to do?

[Grant]

Damn dude, one of my close friends told me she was boleimic, and its sad as hell what she thinks of herself, cause she is really pretty. I dont know what to do, you should probably help to get her some help, cause this can be really bad for people.

[VanillaGorilla]

What am i going to do?

She obviously needs to get some help. What she is doing isn't healthy. In some cases girls have died from it. As if getting ulcers in their esophagus isn't bad enough. This would probably be a good time to back off cutting up because it's got to be reminding her of the issues with her father. Do anything you can to support her getting some help.

[PC1]

Yimen......

This is nothing to take lightly. These are symptoms of anorexic nervosa, or builemia. I'm no psychologist by any stretch but these are the symptoms Karen Carpenter exhibited. The daily throwing up of food is very unhealthy to the esohagus, throat, etc.

her father obviously has problems of his own but in the meantime, your girlfriend really needs to get some help.

Best of luck.



PC1