My wife is hurting my nutrition efforts

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  1. I know what all of y'all are saying. My wife doesn't believe half the stuff I tell her about diet, exercise and health, but if she reads it in Cosmo it's gospel. I was probably a little over anxious when I first started working out and eating right. Always talking and obsessing over food and exercise. I realized I was bugging the sh#@ out of her, so I stopped talking about it. Now, she says she wants to eat better and workout. Of course, it is always next week, next week, next week. I figure I will guilt her into doing something. If I look better, she'll want to also. We'll see what happens. But I'm fighting against the "ladies" at work (mostly fatasses) who say in moderation sweets and crap are ok for you. Well, my moderation and theirs is on opposite ends of the spectrum.


  2. Sounds like she might be thinking you think SHE ought to stay off the junk food when you choose to skip it.
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  3. The saying 3 sides to every story usually applies to relationships. I guess I'll play devils advocate here. Here are some observations and suggestions.......
    1. Seeing that you are engaged, I assume that you love you gf enough to spend the rest of your life with her. Are you seriously going to throw that away over food?
    2. I think body building can some times border on obsessive compulsive. I have known people who are so obsessed with their body fat percentage that they never have one cheat meal ever. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in shape but just remember that is a whole world out there to experience. Missing a few work outs and having a few cheat meals here and there aren't going to kill you. Most of us aren't going to make a living as a pro bodybuilder.
    3. From your first post you are blaming her for they way you are eating. That really isn't fair. There are other options as other people suggested such as getting a sub or something more healthy or just making your own dinner.
    4. You both work at home you are constantly around each other. Sometimes in situations like this one of you will get of the others nerves. It might be a good idea for both of you to take some time for yourselves each day to get a break from each other.
    My advice to you is don't throw away a relationship over an issue of what kind of food you eat. Do you want to end up being that creepy 50 year old guy at the gym hitting on the 20 year olds?
    That being said sit down and talk to her about it. Just explain to her that you want to get in better shape for the summer and tell her you want to eat a little better than normal. Have the pizza once a week on a cheat day and take her out to a restaurant where you can both get what you want once a week or something.. Relationships are hard some times. You both need to compromise. Use this to set up a way to deal with disagreements in the future because I am sure a more serious issue other than nutrition will come up eventually.

  4. UPDATE:

    It turns out she is puking in the bathroom after meals. Evidently, this has gone on and off since she was a teenager. I caught her puking after a sandwich and she spilled her guts. No pun intended.

    It turns out, she can eat whatever she wants because she purges anyway.

    I have spent the last 2 weeks struggling with the issue. She is no longer discreet about it since she told me the truth. Or maybe i just know what she is doing now and it seems indiscreet.

    She is only 23. She can gain weight easily and she has used the puking to trim down nicely. It seems she is getting rewarded for gagging herself.

    What should i do?

    She says this is due to her fathers actions when she was 15-16.
    He would force her to stand on a scale everyday and if she did not lose any weight she would be grounded. She claims to have been grounded and locked in the bedroom after school for almost 2 years. He would call her fat names and treated her with disgust. She left home not long after her 16th birthday but i guess the scars remain.

    What am i going to do?

    I would like to go over and kick her fathers ass! Thats what i want to do! I can imagine the torn flesh ripping from his face as i punch downward on to his nose with intentions of removing it from his face.

    What am i going to do?

  5. if you do indeed care about her convince her to get some professional help. counselor/psychiatrist
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  6. Jesus, that's screwed up (about her dad)! Get her some help, man. Bulimia is bad enough, but that kind of abuse had to really mess with her head. I don't think anyone in their right mind would blame you for ****ing her dad up, but it just wouldn't help - it would probably only make everything worse. Do you guys have insurance coverage? Find out if the policy will cover some counseling. My father in-law was an abusive alcoholic and my wife has a host of emotional probs as a result. I feel for you.


    Quote Originally Posted by Yimen E.Cricket
    UPDATE:

    It turns out she is puking in the bathroom after meals. Evidently, this has gone on and off since she was a teenager. I caught her puking after a sandwich and she spilled her guts. No pun intended.

    It turns out, she can eat whatever she wants because she purges anyway.

    I have spent the last 2 weeks struggling with the issue. She is no longer discreet about it since she told me the truth. Or maybe i just know what she is doing now and it seems indiscreet.

    She is only 23. She can gain weight easily and she has used the puking to trim down nicely. It seems she is getting rewarded for gagging herself.

    What should i do?

    She says this is due to her fathers actions when she was 15-16.
    He would force her to stand on a scale everyday and if she did not lose any weight she would be grounded. She claims to have been grounded and locked in the bedroom after school for almost 2 years. He would call her fat names and treated her with disgust. She left home not long after her 16th birthday but i guess the scars remain.

    What am i going to do?

    I would like to go over and kick her fathers ass! Thats what i want to do! I can imagine the torn flesh ripping from his face as i punch downward on to his nose with intentions of removing it from his face.

    What am i going to do?

  7. Damn dude, one of my close friends told me she was boleimic, and its sad as hell what she thinks of herself, cause she is really pretty. I dont know what to do, you should probably help to get her some help, cause this can be really bad for people.

  8. What am i going to do?
    She obviously needs to get some help. What she is doing isn't healthy. In some cases girls have died from it. As if getting ulcers in their esophagus isn't bad enough. This would probably be a good time to back off cutting up because it's got to be reminding her of the issues with her father. Do anything you can to support her getting some help.
  9. PC1
    PC1's Avatar

    Yimen......

    This is nothing to take lightly. These are symptoms of anorexic nervosa, or builemia. I'm no psychologist by any stretch but these are the symptoms Karen Carpenter exhibited. The daily throwing up of food is very unhealthy to the esohagus, throat, etc.

    her father obviously has problems of his own but in the meantime, your girlfriend really needs to get some help.

    Best of luck.



    PC1
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