I'm sorry I ever left.
I wish I had a good excuse but I don't. I don't know where it all went wrong or where I crashed and burned but I am back tonight thanks to one of my best friends getting in my face about it. I was being a nancy and trying not to admit I was disapointed and embarrassed in myself...I tried to let the past shoulder the blame.
I don't know what else to say except that i've been incredibly depressed the last year and a half...and the last time i got this bad i came here to. both times i refound my focus and desire.
I doubt my old friends are still here, but I will make new ones with ya'll. I am a dedicated lifter. That never left me...i don't know how to explain going from 250 lbs to 214 even though i lifted hard 4 days a week. something tells me i'm breaking out of that slump though...i think i understand. I just quite eating one day.
if this sounds crazy i'm sorry but if you stick around I welcome you on board my journey at the end of the rant.
I'm a semi pro football working to return to college. I'm 21, i'll be old but I still have 4 eligible years and and an incredible dedication. at full strength i am a middle linebacker in size and ability, d.e. in comfort and fullback in desire...if that makes sense...basically i'm fast and i hit hard but i want to block (hit someone onee every play? yes pleae) but i'm not big enough to be a line men or tall enough to be a tight end and full back sounds like just the right fit. the big bad bears want me on middle line backer and the only thing on defense i'm fully comfortable doing is blitzing. I can cover sufficiently but it's definitely not at all natural feeling.
that's the end.
6'7 arm span
217 right now
247 3 months ago.