In my relationship now, I stop myself from being irrational...
"You say I'm your boyfriend, why the hell is your Myspace saying you're still single?"
"You what? Oh... I may be pushing you away? How about I just push you away totally. We're DONE!"
Just little things. Things like that I stop myself from. I have had BAD experiences with Myspace and now everytime I log in, my initial reaction is to vomit. My ex left her Myspace logged in and I was a bit curious/intrusive and found out she'd been f*cking around on me since day 1, for over 8 months. I back-tracked her emails for 3 days and 2 nights without rest or sleep. I became delerious from the sleep deprivation and wanted to jump off the roof of my building. I went out that night and had 12 shots of Jaeger and drank them one after one, chasing it with rum and diet coke. In about 15 minutes I was done with all 12. Then I just broke down 5 minutes later and instead of crying, I started laughing histerically on the floor of the bar... then I was laughing and convulsing... then I blacked out. The next day, I went to Fedex/Kinkos and printed out all the emails of her and her f*ck-buddies and clipped them together in a nice packet and handed to her. Her response:
"I can't believe you went into my Myspace! You're such an a$$hole. You broke our trust!"
I was sleep deprived and severely sickened by the blackout... I could've gotten 20 lifetimes of pleasure by reaching forth and choking the life out of her....
Me: "YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH OVER HALF A DOZEN STRANGERS! I CAN'T GO ONE PAGE WITHOUT READING 4 EMAILS FROM SOME GUY YOU SCREWED!"
Yeah, then I was so depressed I shipped my clothes and stereo and a few things home and gave away my furniture, tv, and a lot of clothes I couldn't ship. I moved back home and got a blood test for fatigue and it was said that I had mono for a while, as it was in a latter stage. Nice.