1. Take half the dose or ten times the dose but never the recommended dose and never take it consistently.
2. Be sure to take as many things concurrently as possible
3. Measure gains or losses by the scale only. If you haven't gained or lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks then it isn't working.
4. Make sure your diet is horrible.
5. Make sure you work out like my grandma.
6. Switch things up, constantly.
7. Attribute everything to placebo -- or nothing. Either way, that works great.
8. Believe marketing hype. Ignore common sense or science -- they can only do you harm.
9. If it doesn't taste great, it probably doesn't work.
10. If it sounds to good to be true then it must be the best **** ever!