Tell the Girlfriend ???
- 01-25-2005, 08:56 AM
Tell the Girlfriend ???
I've read several opinions on this but, here is my situation:
My girlfriend and I may be married next year. I have not felt I needed to tell her as we are both moral people and ,hey!, it's a felony. I just didn't want to get into it. She likes my body and I do take a load of other sups. ( creatine, L-Glutamine, ect. ) Also, I am 46 y.o. , she has 2 kids, and we may want to have one together.
So, ... I have enough steroids for 6-8 cycles ( 3-4 years) and a stock of transdermal proHormones also. If we we living together can I just hide them in a lock box in crawl space or somewhere, and continue until I run out then and then go to doc. for HRT??? (I'll be about 50 y.o. by then) - or, tell her I've been doing my own HRT??? - or, say I was cycling PH."s and now they are illegal so I might as well use AAS ??? or, - what ??????
Any suggestions ??? Any feedback apprectiated.
- 01-25-2005, 09:00 AM
I know Im a good bit younger than you, but I think you should tell her. She should be able to understand, you are both mature adults by now, and old enough to make your own decisions.
Better to tell her now, than hear it from her when she finds them. That'd piss her off.
- 01-25-2005, 09:15 AM
tough choice..i'd say tell her, but then again, depending on the situation, I might not.... I try to keep things like this to myself because most people have a bad impression with AAS use, even though it can be much better for you than smoking/drinking....
01-25-2005, 09:19 AM
Yeah, I was also thinking that she really has a tough time keeping a secret. She is not a total gossip but, you know, a woman. Then also I'd be putting her in a posisyion to lie if people ask if "I'm on steroids"
Any other viewpoints?
Thanks guys. I really need to think about this one>
01-25-2005, 09:28 AM
That is a real tough call.
As it happens I broke up with my girlfriend last night... *I'm such a smuck*. I didn't break up over AAS use.. We just didn't have enough in common, and not nearly strong enough feelings for one another.. but thats neither here nor there.
It's really a decision that you need to make. cause everyone is different. My girlfriend would not of stood for it.. She never smoked, never drank, doesn't even have a single cavity. She wouldn't for a second be able to come to grips with something like that.. Like seriously, she might even try a family intervention or some **** like that. lol
Maybe your girlfriend, is more open to things a bit more extreme... or she might at least be able to understand why you might use aas, but still want you to stop.
In a perfect world, I want to find someone I can share everything with, including that aspect of my life... But sometimes **** just ain't perfect.
Good luck to you.
01-25-2005, 09:31 AM
01-25-2005, 09:46 AM
it really depends on the situation, i had a gf that was totally cool with it and it didn't bother her in the slightest, but there are obviously girls out there that wouldn't stand for it ... you need to figure out a few things for yourself like
a. will she care
b. will she care enough to stop being with you over them
c. if b is true, are you willing to give up AAS to be with her (if you're thinking about marrying her i would imagine this is the case but what do i know)
d. if you don't tell her and even if she doesn't find out, are you comfortable with keeping things from her
i'm not passing any judgement at all, its a very personal matter, i just think you need to consider those, and probably more, questions
01-25-2005, 09:57 AM
Dont tell her yet, or atleast not right out tell her. Kick the subject around a bit mention steroids around her and see how she reacts or tell her you were thinking about doing a cycle. If that freaks her out then refer to glenihan's post.
some things are better left unsaid
01-25-2005, 10:02 AM
The advice on telling her I will leave for others, however I know a real good hiding place. I hide mine in a box wedged between the wall and the central airconditioning unit vent behind the air handler upstairs. If you don't have an air conditioner you can send your stuff to me and I will hide it for you.
01-25-2005, 11:45 AM
if both of u even plan to have baby together, obviously i think you ought to let her know. But of course you will need to explain in very details what AAS is all about and stuff like that. U would want your loved one to support what you do right? Plus even though AAS is illegal but i don't think it can kill you if you are knowledgeable to use it properly for your bodybuilding purpose. So to me AAS is just Sport Medicine. Thats all.
01-25-2005, 11:49 AM
Well, coming from a teenager, I would say NO. When me and my friends (guys) joke about me using steroids, we all laugh about it. BUT, later in the night or whatever, sometimes a girl will pull me over and ask me, "You're not REALLY using steroids, are you?" I definetly feel that people nowadays feel that steroids are worse than any recreational drug out there, including coke and acid.
Also, other valid points is that the relationship may become awkward. She might think you're on edge all the time...a time bomb ready to blow. This might cause her to become very insecure around you. Also, every time you get mad (because males are supposed to be little princesses nowadays), she will blame it on roid rage...probably making you even more angry, lol. Another reason is that if something happens, she can always blackmail you. Not saying she WILL, but there is always the possibility.
I am currently using and have been since my very late 17's. Started 2 monthes before my 18th. The only person I have told is my very close friend who bought some stuff with me, but decided not to go thru with it. I don't plan on ever telling anyone in my lifetime....not even my significant other.
01-25-2005, 11:58 AM
01-25-2005, 12:34 PM
is she on birth-control? her own HRT?
best to learn her point of view on her body & her hormones before broaching the subject.
Another thing is the question of trust - don't minimise it if you want to open up to her: you need to be able to trust her, even in the event of a break-up. At the same time, she needs to know that she can trust YOU, too - not to 'go crazy', 'turn into a monster', etc.
Guys talk about keepin' it real - here's your perfect opportunity
(I'm bein' ironic here - not sarcastic)
Last edited by BodyWizard; 01-25-2005 at 12:39 PM. Reason: I see others got to the trust issue before me...
01-25-2005, 12:54 PM
01-25-2005, 12:57 PM
01-25-2005, 01:00 PM
i say tell her. my wife knows about my usage and it's fun after a while. she even gets those hard to reach injects.
01-25-2005, 01:36 PM
I would never marry sombody who i couldnt tell about my steroid usage. Isnt marrage suppost to be about love and trust? If you dont trust her to tell her, and if she wouldnt love you if you used them, then getting married to her isnt a good idea.
01-25-2005, 01:49 PM
01-25-2005, 02:02 PM
DONT TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOMEN ARE SPITEFUL CREATURES!!! IF YALL BREAK UP, THEY WILL USE ANYTHING AGAINST YOU TO HURT YOU. READ: DROP A DIME... DONT DO IT... ONLY TELL YOUR SOULMATE, NOT SOME WILLY NILLY CHICK YOU SIMPLY ****.
01-25-2005, 05:46 PM
01-25-2005, 05:51 PM
I thought my wife would flip about m using gear, but she was totally cool with it. If you don't have truth and honesty in your relationship, then there is no reason to get married.
01-25-2005, 06:45 PM
my fiance is cool with it. At first she was like I just don't ever want to see it and this last cycle I just finished she helped me out with the ass shots Oh and she might not like the fact that I do it but she sure likes to watch me grow
01-25-2005, 06:55 PM
01-25-2005, 06:57 PM
Coolkat, not to intervene w/ your thread here and I would use PM but obviously can't, but i'm quite interested in BLee32x's stats, since he say's he's been a user since 2 months before he turned 18.Originally Posted by BLee32x
01-25-2005, 07:13 PM
Make sure you mask the sides. How you control yourself is more important than whether she knows or not. If your responsible about it I dont see it being a problem.Originally Posted by Coolkat
01-25-2005, 07:46 PM
From personal experience, it really depends on the girl. Under normal circumstances, I would say no. However, some girls are more rational than others...no, i'm not joking. My girlfriend happens to be pretty down to earth and cool. At first, I wasn't going to tell her but I felt it would be in the best interest of the relationship. I educated her a little bit and told her. She was pretty cool about after I gave her a few studies showing the overall safety. Hell, now she loves it when I'm on test cause I'm a horny mofo....
01-25-2005, 08:33 PM
Having not been in the situation, I will only say that quite a few guys on this and other boards have said that their woman used the "roid rage" angle plenty of times when they told them. So, it's certainly possible that she could blame any argument on roid rage.
I agree w/ glen and others - evaluate the total situation then make the decision.
01-25-2005, 08:37 PM
I 2nd that mine has pulled the "rage" thing before and boy does it really chap my ass then. Like I wouldnt get mad when I am off and your insulting me and/or deceiving me about something stupid. women *rolls eyes and sighs*Originally Posted by jmh80
01-25-2005, 11:00 PM
If she looks anything like tatoo's avatar, I would lie to her as long as I could so long as I could bang her.Originally Posted by tattoopierced1
But in all seriousness, remember this...
NEVER GIVE A WOMAN AMMUNITION. She will use it.
How much do you trust her?
01-25-2005, 11:27 PM
Tell you the truth, only used 3 cycles. 2 REAL cycles tho. 1 had to be aborted shortly (3wks) after starting for various reasons, if you want to know the details, I'll tell you, but might be a bit lengthy.Originally Posted by KCPreki11
Anyways, 1st cycle was 10wks w/ Sust250 @ 500mg/wk only. 2nd was with Test Prop wk 1-8, Tren 1-4, started shortly after coming off aborted cycle. Currently doing another cycle with Test Enan and Deca, into week 6 of it. Anyways, right now I just turned 19 a month ago, am currently 228lbs standing at 5'11". Currently about 14% BF, maybe a bit more but a lot of it is looking like water retention. Maxes? Don't know em, don't care about em. Im a bodybuilder, I feel that 1RM are not necessary for me and only add a large chance of injury, causing me to lag behind with my progress in reaching my goal...that's just my opinion tho, not saying it's science and everyone should do the same. As far as lifts go, I do 265, 5x5 on the bench (not that impressive, I know...shut up, lol). 385, 5x5 on the squat. I don't deadlift, but I have done 325 5x5 on SLDL's, usually keep them in the higher rep range tho. Been lifting for about 4 years, really only like 2.5yrs tho because I would have to stop during football and lacrosse season where I would lose a lot of strength, usually lasting 3 monthes each without any lifting, tried doing things like push-ups, squat jumps, etc, but didn't help very much. Anyways, hope that suffices.
01-25-2005, 11:45 PM
I was wondering if you had any pics, I am sitting right about those same stats, and was wondering how I'm coming in compared to someone same size as me. If you happen to have some please email em to me @ email@example.com or just post them here. ThanksOriginally Posted by BLee32x
01-26-2005, 12:14 AM
Sorry bro, no digi cam =/ If you want camera phone pix I guess I could do that, but it would be very poor quality and would most likely be awkward to flex. Im sure you've filled out more than me, or at least have more definition....muscle maturity is a beautiful thing.Originally Posted by BOHICA
01-26-2005, 12:30 AM
My stance is...do not tell her. I've seen too many people break up/divorce and the ex begins to tell everyone, especially LE, about the AAS's and other things. The only way I would tell her is if she was also using AAS's. Other than that, if she's the only one you tell, then that's one too many people in my book. However, I have been known to give bad advice before.
01-26-2005, 05:37 AM
IMO just tell her your diabetic or diabetic + hrt, basically DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH, you might love her now, but that sorta thing isnt wise to tell your wife/girlfriend, as it will get spread around if/when you divorce and not be ideal. A man has to be responsible and protect himself, its sometimes our nature to spill our guts, but lying is often times preferable to telling the truth esp in the interest of self preservation.Originally Posted by Coolkat
01-26-2005, 07:14 AM
Two words. WOMEN TALK. So don't tell her. If it's injectable-hide it, if it's transdermal-tell her some supp. taken that way, if it's oral-you already got 20 diff. bottles sitting on your shelf.
01-26-2005, 07:27 AM
.... You just have to ask around locally concerning competitive Athletes that were married, then divorced...Originally Posted by Cuffs
The wife spills the beans bro. 99.99% of the time. And of course she is going to be believed, because "look at your muscles" (I think it makes out of shape people feel better to think the only way to get in shape is steroids), and, well, she used to live with you.
You need to tread lightly on this one man. Do your best to find out what her reaction would be.
And if she would leave you over this type of thing, you have to ask yourself how much do you love her.
Enough to give up the "supps"?
01-26-2005, 02:32 PM
If you leave them with your other supplements, it's not like most people are able to tell them apart and know that something like 4ad was recently scheduled.
01-26-2005, 02:38 PM
just to point something out, what if he doesn't tell her and she finds his needles or actually catches him injecting? he's gonna be proper ****ed then
01-26-2005, 03:16 PM
Man this is a tough one! I'm in a similiar situation, and I
decided not to tell my wife. If I need to pin, I go to the
bathroom and lock the door. I would rather not let the
wifey know, than to have her freak out!! This is a real
difficult question, and only you can guess how she is
going to react, if you tell her. Good luck!!
01-26-2005, 03:56 PM
Very tough call. Even if you love her and trust her, you have to remain logical and remember that there is always the possibility that you two would break up. So you have to imagine such an event and know if she is the vindictive type at all. Such types are more rare than Somalian bodybuilders.
In all likelihood she WOULD rat you out in the event of a breakup. It's all too common. It may be a stereotype but it is a stereotype founded in real life events. For example, a friend of mine was having an argument with his (now ex) girlfriend in the car and a cop pulled him over. I kid you not, when the cop came over to ask for license and registration his girlfriend pulled a "Dave Chappelle" on him. She screamed to the cop "He's got cocaine!! He's a cocaine dealer!" They impounded his car and he got strip searched at the police station. And he didn't even have anything illegal. Now just imagine if he DID have the stuff how much worse it would have been.
So what to do? What to do ....
Explaination: I would say, tell her it is hormone replacement therapy. Your doctor said your natural testosterone levels are really low and this is your treatment. Tell her you are really embarassed about it, and ask her to please not tell anyone about your low testosterone levels. Tell her that you feel very very sensative about it, but that you trust her enough to tell her this intimate fact about you. She won't see it as breaking the law because, well, she won't know you are breaking the law. She'll know you are taking steroids, but she will see it as HRT treatment. She can't ask your doctor about it because of doctor patient confidentiality. As a bonus, she will see you as a more senstive person, and she will most likely appreciate your being candid and sharing this side of yourself with her.
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