Need some help GOD I am an Idiot
- 06-02-2012, 07:48 PM
Need some help GOD I am an Idiot
Well first off, hello and forgive me if this is posted in the wrong spot.. My name is Hank. I have browsed these forums for a long time now but I have just signed up to become a member just today. Well I am 168lbs, 22 years of age. Just like so many before me at such a young age and being so stupid and impatient I thought I'd try some pro-hormones. I workout with about 5 other people and they are all on them, and the gains they were making over the years were astounding to me. I had managed to maintain a body weight I wanted, which was around where I am now the past year. I started lifting back in 09 with a body weight of 137lbs. I figured that information was viable for some reason, but any way back to my main point. So my buddies are making massive strength and size gains while I am staying the same and slowlyyyyy edging along and falling behind. They talked me into trying what is called : Halotest-25 which I think is a fairly popular PH these days and some-what new. I hear it is a clone of p-mag. So I started a cycle of it on February 7th, 2012 and ran it till about February 14th and quit because I got scared I would **** myself up. I immediately went to PCT.. and not a good PCT either.. just OTC PCT's such as Reveristrol V2 and Testabolan V2.
NOW here is THE EVEN MORE DUMBASS PART TO MY STORY. Yes, even more stupid than the above. I got talked into running "Sust-250" Not the injection steroid either, it's an oral pro-hormone fairly new with about 4 different compounds in it. Made by D.N.A. just a short while after my PCT.. in April. It has 60 pills in it just like all of them and I started April 11th stopped April 16th. I only took 10 pills total. 1 in the AM and 1 in the PM. AGAIN I got the **** scared outta me so I stopped early cycle and jumped into PCT.. this time using A-HD. That month in March while on PCT I never noticed any negative sides. My sexual performance was good, no acne nothing out of ordinary. After the Sust-250 I noticed a little bit of acne but nothing sexually wrong with me either.
So I go back to a damn PCT.. again feeling like a fool.. but it gets even worse.. yessir.. I am this stupid but I think I finally realized just today that PH's and steroids just aren't for me, because of my anxiety issues I just am not man enough to handle them. Any way April 17th - May 30th I was clean. Finished PCT and felt fine.. only side was some depression, but I also went through a break up with this girl who meant a lot to me, so that could have just been that. Now to go back to why I said it gets even worse..
May 31st, a few days ago.. I started another cycle of Halotest-25.. I was for sure this time, that I could go through with it.. order a true PCT like Nolvadex or Clomid, get my bloodwork done.. do the whole thing right. WRONG. Today I got so nervous and anxious about it.. I literally had a panic attack. I talked to a doctor and he said he would straight up rather me inject steroids than use something like Halotest-25. Then my usual self, always thinking of the worst that could happen to just me.. I freaked and I just quit it.. I took 2 pills May 31st, 2 Pills June 1st, and 1 pill today - June 2nd 2012. I just started Revers.. and testa.. plus Hawthorn, Cycle Assist, liver support/milk thistle.. and in 2 weeks I plan to go to the fatigue clinic to get a physical and my blood work done to see just how bad I might have ****ed myself over.
Yeah guys, I know reading this is a pain.. I know all of you will think I am a complete and utter fool.. but it is the truth I am and I admit it. I will take on any flames that get directed toward me.. but I am here just to get advice.. opinions.. someone to talk to that really knows their stuff.. Do you guys think I have completely ****ed myself over..? So far I just noticed my boys are smaller.. they ache slightly every now and then.. but nothing horrible. I think that's a normal side from getting "shut-down" I am just hoping I didn't **** myself over so much because of all of those VERY short and incomplete cycle runs.. back to back PH to PCT.. I bet my Blood Pressure is so screwed up. I am just hoping my body isn't too damaged. I mean I feel fine, I don't hurt.. no acne.. nothing wrong sexually (so far.. anyway.. WHICH is my biggest fear.. not being able to get it up..)
I will leave you with this, I have learned my lesson. I will never touch PH's or Steroids again, because 1.) My anxiety , myself.. just can't handle the "what ifs" and 2.) I am too young and need way more experience on the whole matter before I ever even attempted it.
Also.. I don't know if this is allowed here on the site.. if not.. major sorry.. but I do have the bottle of sust-250 and the bottle of Halotest-25 left.. Sust-250 has 50pills from the 60 it came with.. it cost me 79 bucks.. I wasted and the Halotest-25 has 55pills from the 60.. If anyone so happened to want them.. I would be more than willing to sell it cheap.. I just figured there is probably enough left to run some sort of cycle for someone out there that KNOWS what they are doing with this stuff. I live in Tennessee but we could always figure out something with shipping if anyone did want them.. I'd go cheap as hell.. other wise I'll just throw them away. But I'll hold onto them for a while incase anyone here would like. None of the buddies at the gym really wanted them because they are running a PCT then going on a natural routine.
Anyway the point of this thread wasn't to sell the ****.. The main thing I wanted to hear from you guys about is your opinions on how bad or not so bad I may have ****ed myself over.. Thanks again guys.. and sorry for the shear stupidity of this ENTIRE thread.. Have a good night all.
- 06-02-2012, 08:05 PM
After reading all that your just a dumb 22 year old. Most people are and do way stupider things.
Anyway 99 percent sure you have nothing at all to worry about besides having horrid anxiety. Seriously you have above average paranoia on sides. (Which is exactly why you made this thread to try and calm your ass down and have people tell you tour fine) most people at age 22 take PH and run a pct of vodka burger king and thing their fine. Your freak from 3 week long "cycles" that prob never even shut you down.
- 06-02-2012, 08:13 PM
You'll be fine, if you have health insurance go to your doctor and get blood work done in about a month or so, check your free test, total test, liver values, estradiol, be honest with your doctor you didn't do anything illegal, he should be able to put your mind at rest, and if you did screw anything up he can get you back on track. Good luck
06-02-2012, 08:28 PM
Stop buying that stuff and trying to use it man.
06-02-2012, 08:33 PM
I really don't see the issue. You barely had any of those compounds get in to your system, probably little to no liver toxicity at all, and to top it off you were never even close to ANY type of shut down. You don't know what the fuk you're doing, and you're freaking out about this for no reason. Your body is fine. Stop being a woman and worrying for no reason. Study up, learn about your endocrine system and what anabolics do. Then you'll look back on this and realize you were an idiot, but you did no damage really.
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Revolutionizing Nutrition, AND your body!
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06-02-2012, 08:39 PM
Your fine dude but it's obvious your not ready for any orally activated steroids (pro hormones). Get some protein , creatine and a good pre workout . Eat well and train hard and you'll make tons of gains.
"Strive to seize the initiative in all things"
06-02-2012, 08:48 PM
06-02-2012, 08:49 PM
D: are you trolling? man i havent seen anything stupid on your post D:... you are being paranoid about very small things!!!!... halotest 25 ???? .... only a few days?.... andthen PCT ._. ....................... i gonna pillow scream!.... man, just relax, steroids and PHs arent all that bad, if you dont want to use em, its fine, but do not call yourself stupid for using em a few days O.O , altho, the only "stupid" thing on your part was not researching about the compounds first seeing that you were browsing the forums. just chill... if you ever use em, do proper research and always get a plan, anyways, i think PCT wasnt necessary on both "cycles" ... be safe and play smart
06-02-2012, 09:09 PM
06-02-2012, 11:08 PM
Wow I did not expect so many replies so quickly. I have read each one of your replies and I thank all of you for taking your time to respond to me. Yes I am totally paranoid and I have so many anxiety issues that it's insane. I think my main problem I need to address first is to train my mind to ease my thoughts. To those that said I shouldn't touch the PH's or Steroids, I agree completely with you, I was stupid going into this and not knowing the proper routines. I had my basics down, knew about the PCT's and the support while on cycle but I just flipped **** like a woman and couldn't handle the stress I THOUGHT I might be putting on my body. I just read an article called "Pro Hormones, don't start down the road" Look it up, any way I read that and got some serious stress issues. If I ever do consider these again, I will for sure do my research months in advanced.. truly prepare for my cycle both physically and mentally.. and see it out fully. Thanks again for all of the replies guys.
06-03-2012, 12:22 AM
That article comes up when you google ph's. because there have been people who have gotten hurt on pro hormones because they were dumb asses and took incorrect doses for long periods of time, not enough time off cycle then started a new one, didn't have serms, didn't have support supps, drank booze when on a cycle. just ****ing morons.
your doctor was right though. injectible steroids are actually better because they don't get processed through the digestive system so you don't get liver or kidney stress therefore being safer and more effective but still giving high bp but that can be monitored . However congress is filled with a bunch of people who never even stepped foot inside a gym and just listened to the media and banned steroids. Arnold is a huge hypocrite because he is even against steroids even though they literally made him what he is because it was good to get votes. The fact is theres about 1-3 dealths a year that are without a doubt caused my steroids. compare that to smoking or drinking. no actual study has ever been done that says steroids cause you to get cancer, have heart attacks, blah blah blah. Liver and kidney are done by oral yes, but not injectible
Just watch bigger stronger faster the guy researched everything and got facts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xHEJpuoYPM
sorry I am bitter that they're illegal lol
06-04-2012, 02:59 PM
I would have ran the the full cycle, you worry way to damn much, your hormones will will pretty much always go back to normal after a period of time and your boys will always grow back, the biggest thing to ever worry about the most is if your doing damage to your liver.
06-04-2012, 03:59 PM
I think you hurt yourself more taking all the pct stuff than the ph ever did
06-04-2012, 04:39 PM
06-04-2012, 07:21 PM
You need some anxiety meds or something to help you calm down. I don't think you need to play with your hormones. I'm not trying to be an @$$ I just don't think they're for you.
Everything I say is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Do not ask me for sources. I dont have any.
06-04-2012, 08:44 PM
I'm far from an expert on this stuff, but I've done a couple cycles of Halotest now. My first cycle I screwed myself by not doing a proper PCT. I didn't get shut down, but I lost a lot of gains and drive. My thought (and anyone feel free to chime in) is get yourself some good test support and regulate for a few weeks. You can do this relatively cheaply. Maybe Tribulus. Tossing in a ZMA at bed time might help as well.
I don't think you've done anything too serious so take a deep breath and relax. Your doctor sounds like kind of a dick making you panic like that over a well-known, relatively mild PH like Halotest. Given, the stuff isn't exactly healthy, but if taken with proper supplementation it shouldn't hurt anything either.
06-04-2012, 08:53 PM
06-05-2012, 06:47 AM
Why do people have to quote the OP's lonnnngg asss post just to write a reply? Lol
06-05-2012, 08:30 AM
Simply enough, it's obvious you're not ready for PHs/Anabolics. The ambiguity in your posts pertaining to the compounds you're taking is a dead-giveaway for the fact that you are not doing enough research into these things - sounds like your friends are just egging you on, and if they're doing this despite you saying you don't think you're ready, you should find some new friends. I mean, even my closest friends don't know what I cycle anabolics.
To be honest, I feel that if you had done more research, you wouldn't have the paranoia you do/did. Not only do you learn a lot about how much the sides of steroids have been blown out of proportion, but doing excessive research gives you a solid base to know what's going on in your body, and what to take during a cycle to prevent the things you may be scared of. If you can buy everything you need for your cycle (the anabolic, SERM, support supps, etc.), and go through every single one and say WHY you have them, when you're going to take them and what their purpose is, you'll have a much easier time cycling IMO. "Okay, I have epistane...the hawthorn berry is to keep a healthy blood pressure, the HCG is to keep my boys primed, the cranberry is to promote kidney health, the arimidex is to stave off any signs of gyno, the milk thistle is to protect my liver, the clomid...etc etc." I really don't think anyone in here considering a cycle should be allowed to start until they can do that. Don't come on here, get a bunch of random advice about what to take, and then throw together a cycle using someone else's template. It's all fine and dandy that you're taking all of that stuff, but until you can audiate the purpose each drug/supp serves, you shouldn't be putting any of them in your body.
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