Anyone feel guilty on cycle?

monsterbox

monsterbox

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I dont know what it is, but everytime I begin a cycle I always get mixed feelings.

I pump myself up so much thinking about the cycle and fantasizing on how badass its going to be, then I get there, into the cycle, my arms are exploding, I look superhuman, and I start feeling guilty. I can't figure out why...

I absolutely love the feeling, and the way I look, but at the same time I feel bad that I wasn't satisfied with looking normal. In no way do I feel like I'm cheating or letting anyone down. I just feel guilty that this is the way I want to look... I'm trying to figure out, why the hell do I want 18inch arms and a 400lb bench press?? When I get on cycle, I start thinking, whats the point.

So what about you guys?
 
UnrealMachine

UnrealMachine

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • Established
  • RockStar
guilty? i feel more euphoria than guilt. Love walking around pumped up, love seein my veins pop, love seeing myself in a window and i turn and stop for a sec and go DAMN WTF i'm ****IN STACKED. Love all of it. Why would you feel guilty? Anybody can get to where you and I are, it's just that they lack the drive to do so. I don't feel guilty on cycle, instead I feel pity for everyone else missing out on this good ass ****.
 

Tyler3295

Member
Awards
0
guilty? i feel more euphoria than guilt. Love walking around pumped up, love seein my veins pop, love seeing myself in a window and i turn and stop for a sec and go DAMN WTF i'm ****IN STACKED. Love all of it. Why would you feel guilty? Anybody can get to where you and I are, it's just that they lack the drive to do so. I don't feel guilty on cycle, instead I feel pity for everyone else missing out on this good ass ****.
I'm the exact same way. Hell, if anything I feel guilty OFF cycle, lol. :lol:
 
monsterbox

monsterbox

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
guilty? i feel more euphoria than guilt. Love walking around pumped up, love seein my veins pop, love seeing myself in a window and i turn and stop for a sec and go DAMN WTF i'm ****IN STACKED. Love all of it. Why would you feel guilty? Anybody can get to where you and I are, it's just that they lack the drive to do so. I don't feel guilty on cycle, instead I feel pity for everyone else missing out on this good ass ****.
Yea. I feel awesome too, and I love feeling like a machine. The gym is always the best part of the day, an absolute hit of ecstasy when you get those huge pumps.

I'm going to try to sum this up!

My muscularity has outgrown my personality. I walk into a bar, and I'm always one of the most jacked people there. In my mind I haven't caught up to the image I portray. I always look like I'm a pissed off built motherf*cker who is a ****y nutsack meathead, but in reality I'm the total opposite.

So its, like I love being huge and working out...yet I hate the image its portraying to girls and coworkers, teachers...and then thats whats making me feel guilty because I'm doing what I want, yet its working against me lol.

By no means is this going to hold me back tho...Im just wondering if you guys get those doubts?
 
schwellington

schwellington

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • RockStar
  • Established
I understand where you are coming from- Im one of the most yoked cats around my town(town has a bunch of hippies in it- not much fitness junkies) and I love bieng huge dont get me wrong- as long as it doesnt come before my relationships with people and God, Im straight man- Basically as long as its in its proper place in my life its fine- and if people judge you by your Physical apperance before they have even talked to you- who cares not worth the time anyhow brother
 

coreyc20

New member
Awards
0
i get the same feelings, i love the "on cycle" feeling when i feel bigger and stronger than ever, and love the physical gains. But yet the way people portray the "lifestyle" and yes i believe that what we do is a lifestyle, makes me get mixed feelings, but i just tell myself that i'm bettering myself in more ways that that guy that says i'm an idiot for buying supplements and worrying about my diet and appearance all the time. Its a never ending cycle of trying to better myself in some way, can always find something thats lagging behind. thats just my 2 cents.
 
UnrealMachine

UnrealMachine

Well-known member
Awards
2
  • Established
  • RockStar
i know what you mean about it throwing off your appearance, I'm such a friendly mellow guy, but i look kinda, imposing i guess.
 
HumpTheCook

HumpTheCook

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
dude the guilt you feel is that of excellence. you feel guilty because as you get bigger and better you start to realize that everyone else is beginning to realize what you knew all along... that you are better than everyone else.

Thats a big burden to carry around.
 
monsterbox

monsterbox

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I have people tell me, "i'm not going to lie, when I saw you walk into class I thought you would probably be an as*hole meathead, but your pretty cool"

What I like:
1. being strong, looking good to myself (obvious)
2. people take you seriously, sometimes way to serious
3. people listen/try to impress you (the best part)
4. people want to be on your side of any argument

What I dislike:
1. people assume you are dic*
2. girls think you are automatically an a-hole as soon as you walk into a bar
3. everyone assumes you are on roids, even off-cycle
4. people think you are self-absorbed because you care so much about fitness (most annoying)
5. last but not least, people identify you as a bodybuilder
^I do so much more than bodybuild, i'm a pre-med student, I'm a business major, I'm a trumpet player, etc....but people don't even let it cross their mind that theres more to someones life than lifting weights just because they are jacked.

Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"


So, steroids add to all of the above, GREATLY. Its hard for me to justify whether this is good or bad. It makes me happy and more frustrated at the same time.
 
unc21

unc21

Member
Awards
1
  • Established
I usually feel guilty...........that Im not running higher doses! ;)
 
Mick81

Mick81

Member
Awards
0
Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"
That sounds like jealousy on their part to me. They're just trying to cut you down, cause they know they'll never be able to get to where you're at. F**k em, up the dosage, and find new friends.

We put in too much work to deal with other peoples isssues with the way we look. I don't feel guilty... I feel sorry for them.
 
unc21

unc21

Member
Awards
1
  • Established
I have people tell me, "i'm not going to lie, when I saw you walk into class I thought you would probably be an as*hole meathead, but your pretty cool"

What I like:
1. being strong, looking good to myself (obvious)
2. people take you seriously, sometimes way to serious
3. people listen/try to impress you (the best part)
4. people want to be on your side of any argument

What I dislike:
1. people assume you are dic*
2. girls think you are automatically an a-hole as soon as you walk into a bar
3. everyone assumes you are on roids, even off-cycle
4. people think you are self-absorbed because you care so much about fitness (most annoying)
5. last but not least, people identify you as a bodybuilder
^I do so much more than bodybuild, i'm a pre-med student, I'm a business major, I'm a trumpet player, etc....but people don't even let it cross their mind that theres more to someones life than lifting weights just because they are jacked.

Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"


So, steroids add to all of the above, GREATLY. Its hard for me to justify whether this is good or bad. It makes me happy and more frustrated at the same time.
Its all about being comfortable with yourself....whether it be taking AAS or not. Does it suck that people are going to stereotype you immediately without you even speaking a single word? Yeah they are, people do it all the time. Whether you're fat, skinny, tall, short, ugly, good looking, etc. Human nature is to judge people and cut people down in order to make ones self feel better. Everyone has a sense of insecurity about themselves, and the first thing people will do is judge others that they are either jealous of or do not know or are different.

So to all those they are gonna pre-judge you and not take the time to get to you know....f*ck em! If anyone isnt going to take the time to get to know you, then would you really want them in your life anyways? There's always gonna be haters and as$holes that are gonna judge you immediately. I have gotten all of these same things you mentioned for years, and you just learn to not give a sh1t about it, as long as its something that you are doing that you care about and are passionate about. If looking good and getting bigger, more ripped is a passion for you, then who gives a flying f^ck what anyone says. Do what makes you happy and dont let others influence whats important to you.

And like I said....be comfortable with yourself and who you are. :)
 
johnnyjuice

johnnyjuice

Active member
Awards
1
  • Established
guilty? i feel more euphoria than guilt. Love walking around pumped up, love seein my veins pop, love seeing myself in a window and i turn and stop for a sec and go DAMN WTF i'm ****IN STACKED. Love all of it. Why would you feel guilty? Anybody can get to where you and I are, it's just that they lack the drive to do so. I don't feel guilty on cycle, instead I feel pity for everyone else missing out on this good ass ****.
I feel the exact same way as unreal,It's like he took the words right out my mouth.:fing02:
 
jaydollars

jaydollars

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I get crap all the time, but I love the way I look..,the people who say sh*t about how much I work out and the chicken and sweet potatoes I eat are all fat, flabby, or anorexic looking because they are so scrawney.

I don't feel guilty, I feel sorry for the people who care so much about how I look, because it's their problem nor mine
 

warrenpeace

New member
Awards
0
I have people tell me, "i'm not going to lie, when I saw you walk into class I thought you would probably be an as*hole meathead, but your pretty cool"

What I like:
1. being strong, looking good to myself (obvious)
2. people take you seriously, sometimes way to serious
3. people listen/try to impress you (the best part)
4. people want to be on your side of any argument

What I dislike:
1. people assume you are dic*
2. girls think you are automatically an a-hole as soon as you walk into a bar
3. everyone assumes you are on roids, even off-cycle
4. people think you are self-absorbed because you care so much about fitness (most annoying)
5. last but not least, people identify you as a bodybuilder
^I do so much more than bodybuild, i'm a pre-med student, I'm a business major, I'm a trumpet player, etc....but people don't even let it cross their mind that theres more to someones life than lifting weights just because they are jacked.

Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"


So, steroids add to all of the above, GREATLY. Its hard for me to justify whether this is good or bad. It makes me happy and more frustrated at the same time.
Finally a bodybuilder who sees the bigger picture! It's nice knowing there are some who take this sport seriously that can still look past their reflection in the mirror and realize there's more important things to worry about. The perception of bodybuilders from Joe/Jane Public is a little unfair, but it's also a reflection of the average juicing ******* who makes up the majority.

If more guys thought of bodybuilding as a HOBBY and not a way of life, we'd have a lot nicer, healthier bb'ers walking around improving the image of the sport.
 
EasyEJL

EasyEJL

Never enough
Awards
3
  • RockStar
  • Legend!
  • Established
I think half the guilt you feel is because you've jacked up your endocrine system for life by using steroids before you were 21
 
triton185

triton185

Member
Awards
1
  • Established
I have people tell me, "i'm not going to lie, when I saw you walk into class I thought you would probably be an as*hole meathead, but your pretty cool"

What I like:
1. being strong, looking good to myself (obvious)
2. people take you seriously, sometimes way to serious
3. people listen/try to impress you (the best part)
4. people want to be on your side of any argument

What I dislike:
1. people assume you are dic*
2. girls think you are automatically an a-hole as soon as you walk into a bar
3. everyone assumes you are on roids, even off-cycle
4. people think you are self-absorbed because you care so much about fitness (most annoying)
5. last but not least, people identify you as a bodybuilder
^I do so much more than bodybuild, i'm a pre-med student, I'm a business major, I'm a trumpet player, etc....but people don't even let it cross their mind that theres more to someones life than lifting weights just because they are jacked.

Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"


So, steroids add to all of the above, GREATLY. Its hard for me to justify whether this is good or bad. It makes me happy and more frustrated at the same time.

I think I would feel the same way if I continued to do AAS cycles because I know that I would get big enough to where I would look juiced. I am a CPA and want to be a CFO one day............and no matter what anyone thinks on here, the world looks at juiced looking guys as being meat heads. That is just a fact. Even though it is ignorant on their part, it is still reality and if it affects my achieving other goals in my life then wtf am I doing. SO, my point is that I know what I want to look like and it is not 245 and jacked.......if that is someone's goal then great but it isnt mine. It is all about balance. Just figure out what it is that you want.....sounds like you are a little unsure. High achievers like you seem to be have a hard time settling. I sometimes see big guys and think "I could be that freaking big in a year" because I am ultra competitive but I always end up realizing that it is just my competitive nature and not what I actually want. Balance...........go luck bro
 
monsterbox

monsterbox

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I think I would feel the same way if I continued to do AAS cycles because I know that I would get big enough to where I would look juiced. I am a CPA and want to be a CFO one day............and no matter what anyone thinks on here, the world looks at juiced looking guys as being meat heads. That is just a fact. Even though it is ignorant on their part, it is still reality and if it affects my achieving other goals in my life then wtf am I doing. SO, my point is that I know what I want to look like and it is not 245 and jacked.......if that is someone's goal then great but it isnt mine. It is all about balance. Just figure out what it is that you want.....sounds like you are a little unsure. High achievers like you seem to be have a hard time settling. I sometimes see big guys and think "I could be that freaking big in a year" because I am ultra competitive but I always end up realizing that it is just my competitive nature and not what I actually want. Balance...........go luck bro
very good point!

you pretty much nailed what I'm talking about.
 
HumpTheCook

HumpTheCook

Banned
Awards
1
  • Established
some people may see those muscles as a bad thing at first reaction. but soon as you open your mouth and prove you're not a meathead, those muscles suddenly become a very good thing rather than a bad thing.

when i first got big and had that same problem i had to do a couple things. 1) be conscience of the look on my face. its important not to look too intimidating and 2) i had to make a real effort not to ever talk about it, even when other people brought it up id get off topic ASAP.
 
Mulletsoldier

Mulletsoldier

Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I think half the guilt you feel is because you've jacked up your endocrine system for life by using steroids before you were 21
This. Without knowing you personally, and drawing allusions to my own experience, I think part of your guilt stems from continuing to do something which has clearly presented you consequences.

When I was younger and first began experimenting with narcotics, it was guilt free in purest sense of the word: I felt absolutely nothing but euphoria, because at that time, there were no consequences - legal, emotional, moral or otherwise - for my actions. I could, in other words, bask in the glory of being "high."

Once it became an issue with dropping out of school, losing friends, family and so on, however, the guilt became to creep in: I would feel an overwhelming sense of guilt every time I would sniff, bump, smoke or take whatever it may have been, because I realized I was doing something that had severe consequences, and yet chose to do it anyway.

It may be something you want to consider as, from my perspective, doing the "right" or "acceptable" thing never feels guilty, and nor should it. Guilt is an indication you are doing something you know is wrong.
 
Mulletsoldier

Mulletsoldier

Binging on Pure ****ing Rage
Awards
2
  • Legend!
  • Established
I am not insulting you Monsterbox, by the way. Just giving my honest response to your question.
 
appleyard

appleyard

New member
Awards
0
I'm the same way. I hype myself up for the cycle then once like 2 weeks into it i'm like whatever... i don't really care for it anymore.
 
Jasen

Jasen

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Yea. I feel awesome too, and I love feeling like a machine. The gym is always the best part of the day, an absolute hit of ecstasy when you get those huge pumps.

I'm going to try to sum this up!

My muscularity has outgrown my personality. I walk into a bar, and I'm always one of the most jacked people there. In my mind I haven't caught up to the image I portray. I always look like I'm a pissed off built motherf*cker who is a ****y nutsack meathead, but in reality I'm the total opposite.

So its, like I love being huge and working out...yet I hate the image its portraying to girls and coworkers, teachers...and then thats whats making me feel guilty because I'm doing what I want, yet its working against me lol.

By no means is this going to hold me back tho...Im just wondering if you guys get those doubts?
put on fake glasses LMAO ppl will think diff
 
Jasen

Jasen

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
i love it, constantly walking around like a TITAN. love it! knowing im the king! its great. but the face thing is true...... sometimes i have a serious look and many ppl think i am angry but once i talk and smile ppl are like, woow ur a friendly giant. but manytimes...... i just dont have a **** what ppl think. if i did i would be a follower not a leader.
 
Jasen

Jasen

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
lmao! ppl seem to think if some1 wears glasses they r intelligent, blonds have been trying to get away with this maneuver for sometime now, some successful and then respected some not and then penetrated.
 
carpee

carpee

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
the grass is always greener on the other side.


i bet there are tons of dudes our age who don't speak up but wish they were as stacked as you. Hell, I wish I was a lot bigger too.

You just gotta realize that EVERYONE has their own internal struggles and mindset. Its one thing for a person to initially look at you as a meathead but take the time to get to know you aren't, but quite another for them to write you off completely cuz you're big. If thats the case, then they weren't worth getting to know anyway.
 
monsterbox

monsterbox

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
This. Without knowing you personally, and drawing allusions to my own experience, I think part of your guilt stems from continuing to do something which has clearly presented you consequences.

When I was younger and first began experimenting with narcotics, it was guilt free in purest sense of the word: I felt absolutely nothing but euphoria, because at that time, there were no consequences - legal, emotional, moral or otherwise - for my actions. I could, in other words, bask in the glory of being "high."

Once it became an issue with dropping out of school, losing friends, family and so on, however, the guilt became to creep in: I would feel an overwhelming sense of guilt every time I would sniff, bump, smoke or take whatever it may have been, because I realized I was doing something that had severe consequences, and yet chose to do it anyway.

It may be something you want to consider as, from my perspective, doing the "right" or "acceptable" thing never feels guilty, and nor should it. Guilt is an indication you are doing something you know is wrong.
I understand your concerns. From face view, this looks like the obvious issue. I am 21, and I have cycled. And I am on TRT. It seems extreme to already be on lifelong T.

However, I have had low T symptoms all my life. It didn't begin when I started using PHs. I ran maybe 2 cycles of havoc, and messed with superdrol for a week during a two year period before getting on TRT. I always ran adaquate PCT's that were certainly overkill. In fact, I always felt BETTER during PCT than before I started my first cycle.

I had blood tests after blood tests. I waited 8 months. I went on a mission to absolutely make sure it wasn't caused by these PH's. I took doc prescribed clomid for 10 weeks. I got my LH in-range, and my T levels were still low. Then I discovered I had a varicocele that was pretty bad and had low sperm count. The docs recommened that I have a surgery to remove the veins....it just went on and on. And I restate, I felt no different before those OTC cycle, than after. I started noticing symptoms when I was 16, I wasn't getting facial hair, I was having really bad mood swings/anger, constantly tired, and at 18 I started having some ED problems.

Now that I'm on testosterone replacement, I feel 100% improved. My attitude and mood is totally different than ever before. I no longer worry about things constantly. My levels were at a constant 300ng/dl. I would get nervous at night and wake up all the time. I would get easily upset by the tiniest things/comments/arguments. It affected my relationships.
 
SouthernCharm

SouthernCharm

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
All things in life are worth careful consideration. My view is you're at a middle point, you have to decide wether this is something you really enhoy and get over the guilt, or stop doing it. I don't think there's anything wrong with being big, I could care less about what people think of me, I make my living I live my life and I do what I want.. As long as you're doing what makes you happy in the long run... Keep at it.
 
may19th2001

may19th2001

New member
Awards
0
Similar effects here I feel you dude.
Hope all is going well with you I was in a MVA back in May, it has been very difficult on my life.
I am doing much better now though.

I understand your concerns. From face view, this looks like the obvious issue. I am 21, and I have cycled. And I am on TRT. It seems extreme to already be on lifelong T.

However, I have had low T symptoms all my life. It didn't begin when I started using PHs. I ran maybe 2 cycles of havoc, and messed with superdrol for a week during a two year period before getting on TRT. I always ran adaquate PCT's that were certainly overkill. In fact, I always felt BETTER during PCT than before I started my first cycle.

I had blood tests after blood tests. I waited 8 months. I went on a mission to absolutely make sure it wasn't caused by these PH's. I took doc prescribed clomid for 10 weeks. I got my LH in-range, and my T levels were still low. Then I discovered I had a varicocele that was pretty bad and had low sperm count. The docs recommened that I have a surgery to remove the veins....it just went on and on. And I restate, I felt no different before those OTC cycle, than after. I started noticing symptoms when I was 16, I wasn't getting facial hair, I was having really bad mood swings/anger, constantly tired, and at 18 I started having some ED problems.

Now that I'm on testosterone replacement, I feel 100% improved. My attitude and mood is totally different than ever before. I no longer worry about things constantly. My levels were at a constant 300ng/dl. I would get nervous at night and wake up all the time. I would get easily upset by the tiniest things/comments/arguments. It affected my relationships.
 
rankbull

rankbull

Member
Awards
1
  • Established
Yea. I feel awesome too, and I love feeling like a machine. The gym is always the best part of the day, an absolute hit of ecstasy when you get those huge pumps.

You said it right there man... It's ALL for that feeling for me. That moment when everything clears from my mind and everything in my body is exploding for that one rep is complete bliss for me and is the best part of my day undoubtedly..
 

soontobbeast

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
Its just hard to pin some test when you friends are saying "dude, you are going to look like a complete idiot if you gain another 20lbs"
:toofunny:
 
Jasen

Jasen

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
man i miss m1t..... :( it was onyl one week but i miss it with test and tren ace .... :(
 
wastedwhiteboy2

wastedwhiteboy2

Board Supporter
Awards
1
  • Established
I feel great! but I try not to make large gains that are too noticeable also. gaining 20lbs in 4 weeks is obvious what's going on.
 
SouthernCharm

SouthernCharm

Well-known member
Awards
1
  • Established
I feel great! but I try not to make large gains that are too noticeable also. gaining 20lbs in 4 weeks is obvious what's going on.
Eating your vegetables! What else could it be?? :ntome:
 

Similar threads


Top