Post your Eagles jokes here!

Nullifidian

Banned
Q: How many Eagles does it take to win a Superbowl?
A: The world may never know

Q: How do you keep an Eagle out of your back yard?
A: Put up a goal post

Q: What is the difference between a dollar and the Eagles?
A: You can at least get 4 quarters out of a dollar

Q: What do tele-evangelists and the Eagles have in common?
A: They can both get people watching at home to stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Q: What do you call an Eagle with a Superbowl ring?
A: Thief

Q: Why doesn't Allentown get an NFL team?
A: Because then Philly would want one too
 
Q: What do the Eagles and possum have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around the TV watching the Superbowl?
A: The Philadelphia Eagles

Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen?
A: He hadn't finished coloring it yet
 
Gotta love ripping on the Eagles and Philly fans. I'm still surprised Eagle fans didn't kill Rich Kotite, he had a great squad and couldn't get them to do jack sh!t. They also have a courthouse in the stadium and I've seen them harass a Cowboys fan at Candlestick Park, I mean they treated this guy as if he was Osama Bin Laden :icon_lol:
 
Iron Warrior said:
Gotta love ripping on the Eagles and Philly fans. I'm still surprised Eagle fans didn't kill Rich Kotite, he had a great squad and couldn't get them to do jack sh!t. They also have a courthouse in the stadium and I've seen them harass a Cowboys fan at Candlestick Park, I mean they treated this guy as if he was Osama Bin Laden :icon_lol:
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2006 starting at QB for the Philadelphia Eagles
Donovan Mcnabb- 5-time Pro bowler

2006 starting at QB for the 49ers- ???

The problem with living in a glass house is that everyone can see you! and the last 5 years!

Where have you gone Joe Montana?
 
anabolicrhino said:
2006 starting at QB for the Philadelphia Eagles
Donovan Mcnabb- 5-time Pro bowler

2006 starting at QB for the 49ers- ???

The problem with living in a glass house is that everyone can see you! and the last 5 years!

Where have you gone Joe Montana?
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You have some good points and all I can say is wait 'til 2008 or 2009 :icon_lol:

BTW, Alex Smith is the starting QB in 2006, I'm sure you'll remember that name in due time ;)
 
Iron Warrior said:
You have some good points and all I can say is wait 'til 2008 or 2009 :icon_lol:

BTW, Alex Smith is the starting QB in 2006, I'm sure you'll remember that name in due time ;)
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Well, after following Montana with another hall of famer in Young and then a pro-bowler in Garcia(current Eagle)..you have to expect a little drop off in the "odds of having another Hall of Famer anytime soon" catagory.
 
Nullifidian said:
Q: What do tele-evangelists and the Eagles have in common?
A: They can both get people watching at home to stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"
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As an Eagles fan since birth I will have to admit that this one is funny because it's true.

And the thing about the courthouse in the stadium is/was true. I'm not sure if they still have that, but Philly fans sure are ruthless at the games (not just football).

Notice how the guy throwing the punch is still holding his beer!
 

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Eagles are the best anyone who does not agree will simply be banned or demoted from gold to pink:D
 
jminis said:
Eagles are the best anyone who does not agree will simply be banned or demoted from gold to pink:D
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I used to be a Giants fan when I lived in NJ. Even then I got sick of their crap. It got to the point where it didn't excite me even when they won.

Now that I live in PA, I feel like I have to support the state I live in. So I've become a Steelers fan :D
 
Nullifidian said:
I used to be a Giants fan when I lived in NJ. Even then I got sick of their crap. It got to the point where it didn't excite me even when they won.

Now that I live in PA, I feel like I have to support the state I live in. So I've become a Steelers fan :D
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Then I bet you love those Steeler fans who were giving death threats to an old women for hitting your QB.

:D
 
stxnas said:
As an Eagles fan since birth I will have to admit that this one is funny because it's true.

And the thing about the courthouse in the stadium is/was true. I'm not sure if they still have that, but Philly fans sure are ruthless at the games (not just football).

Notice how the guy throwing the punch is still holding his beer!
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Is that Bobo, Jminis, & EEmain in that picture ? :D
BTW, I heard you guys have a mouthpiece that would make whores blush too LOL
 
Bobo said:
Then I bet you love those Steeler fans who were giving death threats to an old women for hitting your QB.

:D
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Liking a team doesn't mean you like the fans.

I always liked the Raiders too for some reason. Perhaps it's because I used to live over in Cali. Then again, Pacific Grove is a heck of a lot closer to San Fran than it is to Oakland.

I suppose it's the same with here. I'm not exactly close to Pitt.
 
Nullifidian said:
I used to be a Giants fan when I lived in NJ. Even then I got sick of their crap. It got to the point where it didn't excite me even when they won.

Now that I live in PA, I feel like I have to support the state I live in. So I've become a Steelers fan :D
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Just so you know that there is an alternative choice for football fans living in Pennsylvania,...
Philadelphia( and the Eagles football team) is located in Pennsylvania(south east along the Delaware river)
 
anabolicrhino said:
Just so you know that there is an alternative choice for football fans living in Pennsylvania,...
Philadelphia( and the Eagles football team) is located in Pennsylvania(south east along the Delaware river)
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I never really liked Philly or any of their teams. That includes the Flyers, The Eagles, the Phillies, the 76ers. I think my dislike of Philly stems from the Mets/Phillies rivalry. In central and north/central NJ, Mets fans and Phillies fans live next door to one another due to relative equidistance from the respective cities those teams come from. My whole family sadly contains Mets fans; it rubbed off on me.
 
Nullifidian said:
I never really liked Philly or any of their teams. That includes the Flyers, The Eagles, the Phillies, the 76ers. I think my dislike of Philly stems from the Mets/Phillies rivalry. In central and north/central NJ, Mets fans and Phillies fans live next door to one another due to relative equidistance from the respective cities those teams come from. My whole family sadly contains Mets fans; it rubbed off on me.
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These are golden days for Mets fans!
sadly I cheer for the Phillies
 
Nullifidian said:
Liking a team doesn't mean you like the fans.

I always liked the Raiders too for some reason. Perhaps it's because I used to live over in Cali. Then again, Pacific Grove is a heck of a lot closer to San Fran than it is to Oakland.

I suppose it's the same with here. I'm not exactly close to Pitt.
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Really? I didn't know that.


It sounds like you don't know who to cheer for.

:lol:
 
The Eagles season depends heavily on the play of the lines, both offensive and defensive. The recievers obviously stink so #5 will need a lot of protection. And if the d-line can get any pressure on the QB the Eagles secondary will go to the pro bowl again. With that said, they are a couple pieces short still (strong side LB, big RB and receiver) especially in (arguably) the toughest division in football. As it stands now, wild card.

And Null, aren't you in Allentown? That is definalty Eagles country:wtf:
 
bigstabile said:
The Eagles season depends heavily on the play of the lines, both offensive and defensive. The recievers obviously stink so #5 will need a lot of protection. And if the d-line can get any pressure on the QB the Eagles secondary will go to the pro bowl again. With that said, they are a couple pieces short still (strong side LB, big RB and receiver) especially in (arguably) the toughest division in football. As it stands now, wild card.

And Null, aren't you in Allentown? That is definalty Eagles country:wtf:
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Lived in NJ most of my life. My family is full of Giants fans. I'm sick of the Giants. Honestly, I only liked them when they had Phil Sims and LT. Once Phil was gone, I stopped liking them. Can't quite place why; I just stopped giving a crap whether they won or not.

Always liked the Steelers and the Raiders ever since I was a little kid. The reason why I liked the Raiders is simple: they have badass colors and mascott. That simple. As for The Steelers, I think it's because whenever anyone said "Steel" as a kid it made me think of Superman. I dunno. In any case, I just have always had an affinity for them.

On Thanksgiving I usually root for the Lions and whoever is playing against Dallas. I hate the Cowboys.
 
Nullifidian said:
Lived in NJ most of my life. My family is full of Giants fans. I'm sick of the Giants. Honestly, I only liked them when they had Phil Sims and LT. Once Phil was gone, I stopped liking them. Can't quite place why; I just stopped giving a crap whether they won or not.

Always liked the Steelers and the Raiders ever since I was a little kid. The reason why I liked the Raiders is simple: they have badass colors and mascott. That simple. As for The Steelers, I think it's because whenever anyone said "Steel" as a kid it made me think of Superman. I dunno. In any case, I just have always had an affinity for them.

On Thanksgiving I usually root for the Lions and whoever is playing against Dallas. I hate the Cowboys.
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I'm just breaking your balls. I'm from right outside of Philly so I don't have a choice. I root for the Steelers a little too though.

You're already 2/3 of the way to being an Eagles fan. You hate the Cowboys and the Giants, now you just gotta add the 'Skins to that list and you're there.
 
Nullifidian said:
Lived in NJ most of my life. My family is full of Giants fans. I'm sick of the Giants. Honestly, I only liked them when they had Phil Sims and LT. Once Phil was gone, I stopped liking them. Can't quite place why; I just stopped giving a crap whether they won or not.

I hate the Cowboys.
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Here are a few reasons why I hate the Giants. I live about 5 miles from their stadium, which is in the state of New Jersey. Why do they insist on calling their team the "New York" Giants. It would be one thing if they just played in another NY city, but they play in a different state. The only thing more pathetic is that the NY Jets play their home games in the same place, which is called Giants Stadium. They play their home games in a stadium named after another team!!!

The NFL has always favored the New York market, it just good sound buisness as it is the largest, richest market in the world.
The league realized that they would need a strong product in NY
to spear head the league's marketing, so after many years of the Giants "sucking" {1960-1970's} the NFL made a critical move.

Pete Roselle asked George Young, who was then a Redskins excutive to become president of the Giants and to build a strong New york presence. Young hired Bill Parcells who drafted Lawrence Taylor and the rest is history.
When ever the Giants start to suck the league will step in a make a few moves. How rigged was the whole Eli Manning draft!!! How about the head phone bugging during the 2000 playoffs, the Giants breezed through their 2 home playoff games in Giants Stadium, then got crushed in the Superbowl
How about the ole' open up the "big doors" at the far endzone(which creates an on field wind swirl) when the other team is kicking a big FG??? Even when the Giants sucked and the league wanted to expand, Ever hear the rumor about the Jets superbowl being fixed???(ask Bubba Smith)

That's why I will always hate the Giants. I hate the Cowboys because they have the balls to call themselves Americas team, Thanks, but no thanks I'll make my own choices please!

Now, if Donavan Mcnabb can just get over his fixation with TO, the Eagles may have half a chance!
 
While we're at it bashing the Giants, I fvcking hate the Giants because they got lucky against the 49ers in the 1990 NFC Championship game, that would have been the 49ers 3-peat, they also hurt Joe Montana twice, the second one effectively ended his reign as the 49ers starting QB.

BTW, who doesn't hate Dallas LOL, I hope they suck for the next 50 years.
 
Iron Warrior said:
While we're at it bashing the Giants, I fvcking hate the Giants because they got lucky against the 49ers in the 1990 NFC Championship game, that would have been the 49ers 3-peat, they also hurt Joe Montana twice, the second one effectively ended his reign as the 49ers starting QB.

BTW, who doesn't hate Dallas LOL, I hope they suck for the next 50 years.
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Roger Craig "dropped" the ball and LT was there to pick it up.
game over...career over for R. Craig
 
anabolicrhino said:
Roger Craig "dropped" the ball and LT was there to pick it up.
game over...career over for R. Craig
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Yeah man, fvcking Roger Craig didn't even get hit hard or near the ball and if they would get a first down the game is over, 49ers would have owned Buffalo in the Super Bowl :rant:
 
bigstabile said:
I'm just breaking your balls. I'm from right outside of Philly so I don't have a choice. I root for the Steelers a little too though.

You're already 2/3 of the way to being an Eagles fan. You hate the Cowboys and the Giants, now you just gotta add the 'Skins to that list and you're there.
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I used to hate the redskins. However, currently I just consider them irrelevant.
 
Iron Warrior said:
Yeah man, fvcking Roger Craig didn't even get hit hard or near the ball and if they would get a first down the game is over, 49ers would have owned Buffalo in the Super Bowl :rant:
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Just another example of the NFL's NY fixeroo policy!!!!

Do you remember in 1986, I think it was Jerry Rice's rookie year. He burned Elvis "toast" Patterson of the Giants deep in a playoff game then just dropped the ball after running untouched about twenty yards toward the endzone, Giants recoverd and never looked back!
 
anabolicrhino said:
Just another example of the NFL's NY fixeroo policy!!!!

Do you remember in 1986, I think it was Jerry Rice's rookie year. He burned Elvis "toast" Patterson of the Giants deep in a playoff game then just dropped the ball after running untouched about twenty yards toward the endzone, Giants recoverd and never looked back!
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You're getting me depressed now, I don't remember because I was 6 at the time but I know what play you're talking about. It's the one where Rice is clearly going to score and put the Giants in a hole but he flat out loses the ball w/out ever being hit. That play would have buried the Giants.

P.S. The Vikings effort vs. the Giants in the NFC Championship game seemed pretty lame too, 41-3 WTF ?
 
Bring your jokes and jabs..(btw - they were funny & I'm gonna use them!).....I have my spot on Broad St. all picked out for the parade when the time comes.....I was born and raised in and around Philly and never strayed! Cut my arm bad once as a kid and the doctor freaked out 'cause I was bleedin' green! Loyalty baby! When parade time comes I can say that I was there from the beginning! Suffered the slings and arrows of those who would goof on my teams.

Greatest year of my life? 1980. All four major sports clubs of Philly went to the finals. I don't think that has ever been done before or since!

Those were the good old days.....I wear the swipes at Philly sports fans like badges of honor! Wearing a giants jersey in the 700 level at the Old Vet Stadium was like an african-american walking into a klan rally asking for directions!! YOU JUST DON'T DO IT!!!

Go see INVINCIBLE! It gives you about 2% picture of how intense Philly fans truly are!

I hope this same thing happens to T.O. >>>>>>>

Invalid Link Removed
 
They just picked up Donte Stallworth from saints. He becomes the #1 just based on speed, Now if the birds can get Dion Branch???
 
anabolicrhino said:
They just picked up Donte Stallworth from saints. He becomes the #1 just based on speed, Now if the birds can get Dion Branch???
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Here's my new Eagles song:

Donte...... Donte Donte Donte......Donte, Donte!
(To the tune of "T.O.")
 
Iron Warrior said:
Another funny thing I heard about Eagles fans is that their vocabulary can make a whore blush :lol:
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Who the F*** said that?! I'll kick their Mother F***ing ass the C*** ****er! They don't know S**t! I'll gouge out their F***ing eyes & skull F*** them!

Oops! Did I say that out loud? I guess you're right! :jaw:
 
Iron Warrior said:
Another funny thing I heard about Eagles fans is that their vocabulary can make a whore blush :lol:
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Nah, thats only the mothers.
 
Man you Eagles fans have to visit Oakland when you play the Raiders. That will be very interesting to watch LOL. I gotta give you guys the edge on knowledge about the sport, Raider "fans" think it's their year every year LOL.

BTW, would you guys justify killing a Raiders fan for what happened in Super Bowl XV :D ?
 
Oakland fans are all show, no substance.

We dont need stupid costumes, just a bat.
 
Iron Warrior said:
Man you Eagles fans have to visit Oakland when you play the Raiders. That will be very interesting to watch LOL. I gotta give you guys the edge on knowledge about the sport, Raider "fans" think it's their year every year LOL.

BTW, would you guys justify killing a Raiders fan for what happened in Super Bowl XV :D ?
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Like I said before, for some reason I always liked the Raiders (and the Steelers).
 
A foster child had to appear infront of a judge for the third time because of a complaint about his parents. The judge said "boy, why do you want a nother, fourth set of parents?" the boy said "everyone you give me to beats me."

The judge replied "we will give you to the eagles, because they cant beat anyone"
 
Iron Warrior said:
Another funny thing I heard about Eagles fans is that their vocabulary can make a whore blush :lol:
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That was the old days back in the VET, where for 20 buck you could stunble into the 700 level start a fight with another drunk go home and find out who won the game the next day in the papers.

The new stadium is like all the other new constructs...a mall with yuppies watching the game on the big screen in between shopping and wine spitzer sipping...where is "bird brain" I miss you,... or rather I miss trying to hit you with snowballs!!

...only thing better was the Philadelphia Stars games where you could do the samething for 5 bucks!!!...in the spring!!!
 
Bobo said:
Oakland fans are all show, no substance.

We dont need stupid costumes, just a bat.
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That's right on the money. How can I, a 49ers fan know who Bo Jackson is but many Raider fans have no clue. This is no joke, I went to a Raiders game 2 years ago with a good friend who likes the Raiders. They played the Chiefs and their "manly" black hole, Raider nation "fans" nearly started a fight with a mom and her 2 teenage boys because one of the boys had a Marcus Allen jersey from his days w/the Chiefs :icon_lol:
 
anabolicrhino said:
where for 20 buck you could stunble into the 700 level start a fight with another drunk go home and find out who won the game the next day in the papers.
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Sh!t $25 bucks get me a parking spot on the dirt (mud when it rains) parking lot at Candlestick and I get to walk for 10 minutes before I get to the stadium.
 
spatch said:
A foster child had to appear infront of a judge for the third time because of a complaint about his parents. The judge said "boy, why do you want a nother, fourth set of parents?" the boy said "everyone you give me to beats me."

The judge replied "we will give you to the eagles, because they cant beat anyone"
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What? Wait a minute........oh I get it! You made a funny!

Doesn't make sense though? Let me back track:

2000: 11 wins
2001: 11 wins
2002: 12 wins
2003: 12 wins
2004: 13 wins
That makes the Eagles the "Winningest Team in the NFL" since the turn of the millenium! I'm pretty sure we set a points record one of those years too.

But according to your attempt at a joke the Eagles can't beat anyone. Hmmm?

BTW -
2005: (doesn't count.... with T.O. and every single man on the roster injured - we get a "do over" this year)

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heavyduty said:
I love the philly love in this thread!! BTW Fu(k Santa Clause too!
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Ahhh...young one! Too young to remember the glory days! Poor thing has never experienced a world championship when the entire city and surrounding area just exploded with joy and pride! 1983 Sixers with Dr. J & Moses Malone was the last one. Damn I'm old!
 
Big Matt said:
Ahhh...young one! Too young to remember the glory days! Poor thing has never experienced a world championship when the entire city and surrounding area just exploded with joy and pride! 1983 Sixers with Dr. J & Moses Malone was the last one. Damn I'm old!
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1980 Phillies- horses on the field at the Vet!!!!
 
anabolicrhino said:
1980 Phillies- horses on the field at the Vet!!!!
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Greatest year in Philly sports! All four major sports teams in Philly go to the Finals! Bummer that only the Phillies won it all. Can you imagine if all 4 teams won that year? As a matter of fact.......I don' think there is one city that has done what we did that year in al 4 making the finals? Can anyone confirm or deny that for me?

1980
Eagles vs. Radiers in Superbowl
Sixers vs. Lakers in NBA Finals
Flyers vs. Islanders in Stanley Cup Final
Phillies vs. Royals in World Series
 
Big Matt said:
Greatest year in Philly sports! All four major sports teams in Philly go to the Finals! Bummer that only the Phillies won it all. Can you imagine if all 4 teams won that year? As a matter of fact.......I don' think there is one city that has done what we did that year in al 4 making the finals? Can anyone confirm or deny that for me?

1980
Eagles vs. Radiers in Superbowl
Sixers vs. Lakers in NBA Finals
Flyers vs. Islanders in Stanley Cup Final
Phillies vs. Royals in World Series
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confirmed!
My memories of that year are:

Eagles look tired and jaworski completes 3 passes to Rod Martin(oakland raiders MVP)

Kareem abdul Jabbar stays in LA with a migraine. The Lakers start Magic Johnson at "center", he scores 40 and its all over

Bob Nystroms off side goal!!!!...the horror the horror.

Lonnie Smith Tug MgGraw and Mike Schmidt. The mounted Police keep the Phillie phans in line!!!
 
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