It's 3:17PM, Mountain time, Sunday November 13, 2005,
AND MICHIGAN STILL SUCKS!!!
And so it begins
Q: What's the difference between a carp and a Michigan football player?
A: One's a stinky, slimy, low-down, good for nothing, bottom-feeding, ****-eater and the other is a fish.
Little Johnny is from Michigan. One day at the mall shopping for Christmas presents with his family he runs across an Ohio State jersey. He asks his sister for the jersey for Christmas and she promptly slaps him on the head and says go talk to mom. So he finds his mom and asks his mom "Can I please have this Ohio State jersey for Christmas?" she slaps him across the head and says go talk to your father! He goes to his dad and says "Dad, I'd really like this jersey for Christmas!" His father chews him out and says no son of his will ever wear Ohio State anything. So on the way home from the mall Johnny's father looks at him in the rear view mirror and ask, "So have we learned anything today?" Johnny replies, "Yeah. I've only been a Buckeye fan for 2 hours and I already hate you Michigan bastards!"
Q: What do you call a _ichigan cheerleader with two brain cells?
Q: Why doesn't _ichigan have ice on the sidelines during games?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: Why do the University of _ichigan grads hang their diplomas from the rearview mirror?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.
Q: Why hasn't Ohio fallen into Kentucky?
A: Because _ichigan sucks.
Q: What is the difference between _ichigan and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios know what to do in a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between _ichigan stadium and a porcupine?
A: The porcupine has over 100,000 pricks on the OUTSIDE.
Q: Why are there no Nativity scenes on the Michigan campus at Christmas?
A: Because they can’t find three wise men and a virgin.
Lloyd Carr, clearly upset about the Michigan Wolverine's loss to the Minnesota, decides to find out from Jim Tressel what his winning secret is. Carr travels to an OSU practice and asks Tressel, "Coach, how is it that your team is so good? What's your secret?" Tressel, trying to be helpful, responds by calling AJ Hawk over and asks him, "AJ, who's your father's brother's nephew? Hawk answers, "Why coach, that's easy. It's me." Tressel turns to Carr and says, "See, that's the secret, Lloyd. Smart Players. You've got to have smart players!"
Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Carr returns to Michigan and the Wolverine workout. He promptly calls over Chad Henne. "Hey, Henne! Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Chad looks perplexed, thinks a bit and says, "Coach, I'll have to get back to you after practice on that, okay?" Carr, disgusted, says okay.
During practice, Henne calls over Mike Hart. "Hey, Mike, Coach just asked me the weirdest question: "Who's your father's brother's nephew?" Hart answers, "Duh! That's pretty simple! It's me!" After practice, Henne catches up with Carr and says, "Hey, Coach, I have the answer to your question! My father's brother's nephew is Mike Hart!" Carr (very angry with Henne) says, "No, No, No! You idiot! It's AJ Hawk!!!"
Q. What's the difference between a bucket of @#%$ and a Michigan fan?
A. The bucket.
**** bro. You sound like me at the begining of Miam-VaTech week.
I'll definately be watching the game. If Notre Dame falls to Stanford (possible), I expect Penn St. to replace them in the Fiesta leaving the Orange to pick OSU* to play Miami (assuming we beat FLA St.).
Hey, it's the biggest *****ry in all of sports, and it is officially Michigan week, what can I say.Originally Posted by jmh80
Yeah, all of the folks at Bucknuts are prediciting the same thing for bowl games assuming we win this Saturday. Something like: If PSU falls to MSU and ND beats Stanford, it's OSU v ND in the Fiesta. If everyone wins, it's Miami v OSU in the Orange. Those are pretty much the matchups we want starting with a PSU loss, an outright Big 10 title, and another trip to Tempe.
All I care about right now, though, is taking care of our own buisness on Saturday.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! KEVIN GRADY - REMEMBER THAT NAME!!!!Originally Posted by BingeAndPurge
No, I'm not going to come at you with all these stats, cuz I don't keep up w/ it that much. I do know that Michigan is hungry & playing @ home!!!!!
I work nights, so here's what I'm doing this week.
ESPN Classic listings. All times are eastern. Nothing listed for today, but:
Classic Drive Thru: Michigan at Ohio State (1974) 6-7pm
Classic Drive Thru: Ohio State at Michigan (1969) 3-4pm
Classic Drive Thru: Ohio State at Michigan (1997) 6-7pm
Classic Drive Thru: Michigan at Ohio State (1988) 6-7pm
Classic Drive Thru: Michigan at Ohio State (2002) 6-7pm
Its the 14th, scUMmer, not the 11th, and, yes, Michigan Still Sucks!Originally Posted by Rogue Drone
Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first Universityof Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fanreplies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."
I read that article earlier today (I work nights and don't have much of a life). I'm glad you got a kick out of the DS site. Here is their counterpart, the Dropkick Woody's: http://www.dropkickwoodys.com/
Both bands are playing together at a **** Michigan rally Friday night at a bar on the OSU campus.
More good info and history of The Game:
My brothers & I always thought the same thing. the Wolverine fans are sitting in their plaid jackets w/ their hands under their legs....Originally Posted by Rogue Drone
you want exciting fans? now that I live in Baton Rouge, I get to go to the LSU games.. Talk about rowdy!!
Oh, and I'm calling in sick on Saturday just to sit at home & watch this game!
watch, with my luck, ABC will have regional coverage & I'll have to watch some no names....
From what I've heard, everyone but the west coast should get ABC coverage and those who do not should get it on ESPN.
The Shoe has it's fair share of blue-haired alumni who think a football atmosphere should be the same as a golf match. I've heard stories of old folks having people thrown out for standing and whatnot. There's women who bring knitting to the games for crying out loud. I've usually sat in the south stands because A) it's cheaper, and B) we can do what we want as far as standing and being loud.Originally Posted by Rogue Drone
OSU got its rowdy rap because of the Texas guests. Night games are like that. Day-long festivities have an adverse affect on a crowd. The same is said every year about Whisky, and this year about PSU and LSU. I plan on being in Austin next year because it's in driving distance and barring injury to myself and vandalism to my vehicle, I expect a little rudeness and swearing.
ha ha, nice photochop!!Originally Posted by BingeAndPurge
that's just downright pathetic....Originally Posted by Rogue Drone
Anybody know what the tickets are going for on ebay yet? Getting ready to check.
Twenty twenty twenty-four hours to goooo, I wanna be sedated . . . It's almost here! I'm pumped as ****. Anyone else feeling it? I bounce at a bar here in the Springs. All week, anytime I card someone with a Michigan id or if I see someone with scUM gear on, I jump their sh*t. 99% of the time they look at me in shock like "Who is this lunatic and why does he care about my shirt/hat/where I am from?"
Two nights ago, I pointed at a guy's shirt, he's a regular, and said "WTF, man" He thought he did something wrong. After a minute of just pointing at his shirt and saying he couldn't wear that in the bar, someone had to explain to him that I am an Ohio boy. I find it hard to believe that all of these "fans" don't have a clue what I mean when I say "Gonna get your a$$ stomped on Saturday," yet, any Ohio id I check I give an O-H and get an I-O in return.
Like last night. A girl walks in and gives me her Michigan liscense. It gets dropped in the exchange and I say "Damned Michigan people." She looks at me weird and says "What's that supposed to mean." I say I'm a Buckeye fan. Crickets are chirping and I say "Never mind, you don't get it." Then there was an old guy with a block O hat playing poker. He goes to the bar and I walk over and say O-H. He and a younger guy that turns out to be his son give me the appropriate response. The dad came out here from Cleveland to watch The Game with his son. He told me that no matter where his son is, they always watch the game together.
They're gonna love me Saturday night when I show up to work a tad tipsy in Buckeye gear singing the "We don't give a damn for the whole sate of Michigan" song and yelling "Go Bucks" after JT hangs another loss on Lloyd.
? for the scUM faithful. What traditions does the school have for the game. The two I can think of are 1)lighting the dorms called The Towers where the freshman athletes live a glowing red, and 2)jumping into Mirror Lake the Thursday night before The Game. It starts about 11pm and lasts until about 1am. Mirror Lake is a 3ft lake in the middle of campus in an area called the Oval. It's always cold this time of year and people show up for 2 hours singing songs, some getting naked, people in canoes, some band members show up an play songs. It's frikkin great.
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius:
Today we salute you, Mr. Mirror Lake Jumper-Inner ... Ignoring the obvious dangers of hypothermia, you trudge onward and plunge into a 27 degree body of water in the middle of November. Armed only with an abundance of buckeyes around your neck, you are living proof that nothing is unbearable as long as you have a big set of nuts.
Splashing around tirelessly, you disregard frigid temperatures and try to warm yourself by incessantly chanting "O-H" and "I-O." Why do you do it they ask? Because no matter how cold it is you're not afraid to show a little school spirit and a pure hatred for those bastards from Michigan.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light oh Legend of the Lake,
because when it comes to the Buckeyes, you're simply NUTS.