Never competed and all my PR's are in the gym. I try to perform every single lift with solid form, but bottom line is probably every one of those PRs wouldn't hold up in a meet. Too on the edge of my ability, true maxes. Any total you can pull in a meet is gonna be fully within your limits, especially considering you have to muster the energy to do it all in one day. My 1200 personal gym total would probably be 1100 or so in a meet.

You should be proud man, keep training and don't be scared to compete again! It's only against yourself