[bpmartyr]

Why I'm Voting Democrat
Ben Shapiro
Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A new video on YouTube is taking the Internet by storm. Entitled "I'm Voting Republican," the satirical clip depicts actors playing conservative Americans of all shapes and sizes explaining why they would vote for the GOP.

"Arnold Jones" says he's voting Republican because "all other countries are inferior to us" -- and his wife, "Trudy Jones," adds, "and we should start as many wars as we need to keep it that way." A soldier in Iraq states that he's voting Republican "so I can stay in Iraq" -- and a young boy, labeled "future draftee," points a fake gun at the camera and smiles while saying "so I can go to Iran!"

A black couple says they're voting Republican because they "like a conservative majority on the Supreme Court," with the wife noting, "we really like knowing that even if we're separate, we'll still be called equal."

This insulting nonsense is precisely what liberals think of conservatives: We're all warmongers, racists, environmental rapists and secret emissaries of big corporations. We're going to reinstitute the draft, start a war with Canada and then relocate African-Americans to Quebec.

This sort of tripe should be dismissed out of hand. In the spirit of evenhandedness and fair play, however, I feel it my duty to explain why I'm going to vote Democrat.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the best strategy in war is defeat. It broadens the mind to learn Japanese, German and Arabic. Talk about multiculturalism!

I'm voting Democrat because I'm mad that George W. Bush hasn't caught Bin Laden. That's because Bin Laden is the only Islamic terrorist in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that if I don't have enough money, the solution is for the government to take more of my money. Who needs money when gas is $5 per gallon?

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the ideal family is two homosexual bonobos, a goat and a parrot raising a human baby. Love and compassion is all it takes to make a successful family!

I'm voting Democrat because it's my body, and if I want to kill my baby, I'll do it, even if its head is in the birth canal. If I want to cut out my intestines and feed them to the crocodiles, I'll do that too. That's the freedom our forefathers enshrined in the Constitution.

I'm voting Democrat because our enemies on the battlefield deserve comfy hotel rooms, Pay-Per-View, prostitutes and all the benefits of American citizenship.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe we need other countries' permission for me to turn down my thermostat.

I'm voting Democrat because I care about the real victims of crime -- criminals.

I'm voting Democrat because the real cure for racism includes preferential policies based on race -- particularly in presidential voting. If you believe that a black candidate ought to be qualified, as well as black, you're worse than Bull Conner.

I'm voting Democrat because everyone deserves crappy healthcare. Sure, you'll have to wait years for that life-saving cancer surgery. But it's first come, first served at the cemetery!

I'm voting Democrat because I believe in minority rights (except in Muslim countries), free speech (with regard to pornography but not conservative talk radio), environmentalism (unless we're talking about Al Gore's house) and diplomacy (but never backed by the threat of military force).

I'm voting Democrat because I like the words "hope" and "change." Also "kazoo." That's a funny word.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that America's founders were rich, white, greedy xenophobes, and that America's founding principles are hogwash requiring periodic editing from an unelected group of liberal judges.

Most of all, I'm voting Democrat because I like the ideas they have over in France, but I don't feel like moving there. I'll threaten to move, but I really won't. After all, I have a good job, healthcare, lower taxes, free speech and a social framework that promotes family structure. And all of it is defended by the most effective fighting force on the planet.

If only the institution of far-left values resulted in a great country. Oh, well. That won't stop me from voting Democrat, though. After all, I'm voting Democrat because thought isn't one of my strong suits.

[DAdams91982]

Adams

[Mo250]

I'm voting Democrat because...

-When my children go to school, I want them to learn to be politically correct, I want the teachers to show them how to use condoms, & I want them to learn that they should be ashamed to be white. I want it to be pounded into their head that their forefathers were cruel, hateful men, & that they should carry this guilt with them to the grave.

-I want a government run, socialized health care system, because gov't programs work so good.

-I don't think people who were stupid & bought houses they can't afford should lose their homes. I want to pay for them.

-I shouldn't have the right to carry a firearm. If we ban guns, the criminals would also stop using them, because they're fair like that.

-Because I know that child molesters are just confused, they can be re-habed with just a little time spent in jail & some therapy (that I should pay for). & Besides, who am I to really judge their life-style anyway.

-Affirmative action is great! Putting a lesser qualified person in a position over a better qualified person based solely on race is so fair. Besides, black peolpe aren't smart enough to compete with whites, they need all the help they can get.

-You're a business owner. Without gov't control, wouldn't you hire a lesser qualified white over a better qualified black, even though the better qualified black would make you more money? I know I would! Thank god affirmative action stopped me from making such a blunder!

-Socialism works! Just look at history.

-I like being a slave to oil rich foreign countries. No need to use our own resources!

-Complying with the Kyoto treaty is a great idea! Who needs industry in America anyway? If we limit ourselves & stop producing goods here, they'll just be produced in another country with even slacker environmental laws, but don't worry about that, because we'll know we're doing the right thing. Besides, those greeters at Wal-Mart seem to love their jobs. I think I would like to make that my new career.

-I like having illegal immigrants here. They lower my wages, & do jobs that we Americans are too good to do. They drive around with no licenses, drunk, & kill people. But that's OK because they add to my voter base.

-Having a slave underclass (illegal immigrants) is OK. They'll be happy to stay poor & clean toilets. That's why I don't mind paying their medical bills & providing social services for them.

-We don't need border control. Never mind those drugs that flood over them, thus ruining the lives of millions of Americans in countless ways.

-Because if I don't vote for Obama, it's because I am a racist. Not because I disagree with him on a philosophical level.

[CDB]

[Reaper329]

Originally Posted by Mo250

I'm voting Democrat because...

-When my children go to school, I want them to learn to be politically correct, I want the teachers to show them how to use condoms, & I want them to learn that they should be ashamed to be white. I want it to be pounded into their head that their forefathers were cruel, hateful men, & that they should carry this guilt with them to the grave.

-I want a government run, socialized health care system, because gov't programs work so good.

-I don't think people who were stupid & bought houses they can't afford should lose their homes. I want to pay for them.

-I shouldn't have the right to carry a firearm. If we ban guns, the criminals would also stop using them, because they're fair like that.

-Because I know that child molesters are just confused, they can be re-habed with just a little time spent in jail & some therapy (that I should pay for). & Besides, who am I to really judge their life-style anyway.

-Affirmative action is great! Putting a lesser qualified person in a position over a better qualified person based solely on race is so fair. Besides, black peolpe aren't smart enough to compete with whites, they need all the help they can get.

-You're a business owner. Without gov't control, wouldn't you hire a lesser qualified white over a better qualified black, even though the better qualified black would make you more money? I know I would! Thank god affirmative action stopped me from making such a blunder!

-Socialism works! Just look at history.

-I like being a slave to oil rich foreign countries. No need to use our own resources!

-Complying with the Kyoto treaty is a great idea! Who needs industry in America anyway? If we limit ourselves & stop producing goods here, they'll just be produced in another country with even slacker environmental laws, but don't worry about that, because we'll know we're doing the right thing. Besides, those greeters at Wal-Mart seem to love their jobs. I think I would like to make that my new career.

-I like having illegal immigrants here. They lower my wages, & do jobs that we Americans are too good to do. They drive around with no licenses, drunk, & kill people. But that's OK because they add to my voter base.

-Having a slave underclass (illegal immigrants) is OK. They'll be happy to stay poor & clean toilets. That's why I don't mind paying their medical bills & providing social services for them.

-We don't need border control. Never mind those drugs that flood over them, thus ruining the lives of millions of Americans in countless ways.

-Because if I don't vote for Obama, it's because I am a racist. Not because I disagree with him on a philosophical level.

All I can say is wow. Might be one of the silliest posts I have ever read. Nothing like extremes

[atjnutrition2]

I'm voting democrat because it's comforting to know that the more successful I am and the more money I make that I will be punished by paying higher taxes. Nothing like punishing the successful for their success. Who cares that the top 20% in wage earners pay 80% of the nations taxes? They should certainly pay more.

[Bum Mahoney]

You scared me for a second there bp....

[Mass_69]

Originally Posted by Reaper329

All I can say is wow. Might be one of the silliest posts I have ever read. Nothing like extremes

That was insightful...

[Nole1]

Originally Posted by Reaper329

All I can say is wow. Might be one of the silliest posts I have ever read. Nothing like extremes

Yet, you'd be hard pressed to provide an accurate argument for any of those "extremes" when talking about the far left.

Instead, you'd find a way to spin it that the poster is a narrow minded extremist, or a racist, or some other awful term. When in fact - he/she is probably an average caucasian American tired of the rhetoric from the left. Tired of working 60 hrs a week to pay SOMEONE ELSE's way.

[Reaper329]

Originally Posted by Nole1

Yet, you'd be hard pressed to provide an accurate argument for any of those "extremes" when talking about the far left.

Instead, you'd find a way to spin it that the poster is a narrow minded extremist, or a racist, or some other awful term. When in fact - he/she is probably an average caucasian American tired of the rhetoric from the left. Tired of working 60 hrs a week to pay SOMEONE ELSE's way.

Just curious if you actually read mo's post? As he was not directing it towards the extreme left, but towards democrats. There is a huge difference, but I assume you know that already

[Reaper329]

Originally Posted by Mass_69

That was insightful...

glad you think so. thank you for adding this to the conversation

[EasyEJL]

Originally Posted by Reaper329

Nothing like extremes

yes, we know the democrats never do that.

[Reaper329]

Originally Posted by EasyEJL

yes, we know the democrats never do that.

I dont remember saying that, but I am sure you are more aware of my words than I.

I have realized that this thread is a left hating party, and as an idenpendent I might as well leave now.

Continue the division in the country, it has worked so well for so long