1. Frenchies

    "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."

    --Mark Twain


    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
    --General George S. Patton


    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
    --Norman Schwartzkopf


    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."

    --Marge Simpson


    "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."

    --Jacques Chirac, President of France

    "As far as France is concerned, you're right."

    --Rush Limbaugh


    "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

    --Regis Philbin


    "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

    --John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona


    "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."

    --David Letterman


    "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."

    --Ted Nugent


    "War without France would be like ... World War II."



    "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"

    --Tom Brokaw


    "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"

    --Dennis Miller


    "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."

    --Alan Kent


    "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."

    --Argus Hamilton


    "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"

    --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO


    "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq "

    --Dennis Miller


    Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?

    A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?


    "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."

    --Rep. R. Blount, MO


    "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."

    --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv


    The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide.
    The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.


    French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney

    (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

    The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

    It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

    Woody Allen

    And the best joke of all: France is responsible for refraining Hezbollah from attacking Israel again!!!

  2. lol. my favorite was:

    ""The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
    --Regis Philbin

    Freedom Fries!! lol.
    Don't forget the Statue of Liberty was given to us by the French.

  3. :'D <--- Tears of laughter

  4. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
    --Norman Schwartzkopf

    lol. this one made my spit out my coffee! I love it!

  5. dont know if this is allowed, so take it down if its not. - France Sucks

    good/funny site

  6. LMAO, the "prestigeous" French Army was beaten by Mexican peasants with no military experience to once and for all kick them out of North America

  7. to make an analogy france is like that twerpy kid who hangs out with the big tough kid (USA), so france naturally thinks they are also big and tough, but all the other kids (the world) really know they are a big *****.

  8. Uh oh! You tapped into a raw nerve of mine!

    I could never post my ENTIRE rant on the French, because I could go on forever! Here is just a a sampling:


    1. Surrendered to Hitler without firing a shot.
    2. Handed over all the Jews in France to the Nazis.
    3. Wouldn't let the U.S. Fly over France to bomb the Psycho Gadaffi.(this cost 2 American lives)
    4. Opposed the first Gulf War.
    5. French people don't bathe dailey.(they smell)
    6. 35% of French are registered communists
    7. Violates nuclear treaties by exploding nukes in Mururoa Atol, French Polynesia.
    8. They ban English beef.
    9. Their farmers are always crying for subsidies.(blocking the road to Eurodisney)
    10. Bad Cartoon characters. The U.S. has Superman, Batman, Spiderman; they have Pepe'LePew(skunk).
    11. Their women don't shave their legs ,arm pits, nor do they trim (big bushes).
    12. Sided with a country(Germany)that invaded them twice against a county(USA)that liberated them twice at the cost of thousands of lives in the recent vote in the U.N.
    13. 80% of the population smoke like chimneys.
    14. French poodles are the gayest dogs on the planet. Compare French Poodles to German Shepards, Irish Setters, English Sheep Dogs, Amerian Gray Wolf.
    15. In the show Grease, Frenchie is the most annoying of all the cast.
    16. They don't speak English and have sylables in their language that sound like they have a chicken bone stuck in their throat.
    17. Their words are not spelled even remotely close to the way they sound. Oui(we), Cest(say), adieu(a do),Chic(sheek),Faux(foe). You get the Idea.
    18. They make the worst cars on the planet and the ugliest.(Citroen,Peugeot,Renau lt)
    19. They like Jerry Lewis.
    20. They stuck us with Vietnam.
    21. Their Olympic skating judges cheat.
    22. French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin and Jacque Chirac's defense of selling nuclear technology to Saddam Hussein.
    23. Monica Lewinsky wore a beret.
    24. The French harbored admitted murderer Ira Einhorn, because the US has the death penalty.
    25. Started the war in "Indochine" and made a ****ing mess of it
    26. Slaughtered their own people, their own King and Queen, and pretty much anyone else they could get their hands on while supposedly trying to be "free," only to put guys like Robespierre and Napoleon in power
    27. Oppressed and killed people in N. Africa for generations (Algiers, Tunesie, Morroc).
    28. Didn't support the U.S. initiative to have the U.N. enforce it's own resolutions (17 of them over 12 years!) against Iraq and use military force because they were on the take under the table from Saddam in the BILLIONS. The "Oil for Food" scandal was just one of many aspects of that.

    Some general fun at the Frech's expense:

    FRANCE RAISES TERROR ALERT LEVEL (AP/Reuter) Paris - In light of the 2004 Madrid bombings and the discovery of a terrorism attempt on the French railroads, France has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'.

    I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.

    I don't know why people are surprised that France wouldn't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"

    The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag.

    As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
    --- Jacques Chirac, President of France

    "As far as France is concerned, you're right."
    --- Rush Limbaugh,

    An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

    (AP/Reuter) Severe Earthquake strikes 10 places in France.
    March 4, 2003. Today it was reported that a severe earthquakes have occurred in 10 different locations in France. The severity was measured in excess of 10 on the Richter Scale.
    The cause was the 56,681 dead American soldiers buried in French soil rolling over in their graves. According to the American Battle Monuments Commission there are 26,255 Yankee dead from World War I buried in 4 cemeteries in France. There are 30,426 American dead from World War II buried in 6 cemeteries in France.
    These 56,681 brave American heroes died in their youth to liberate a country which is guilty of shameful unspeakable behavior in the 21st century.
    May the United States of America never forget their sacrifice as we find ways to forcefully deal with the Godforsaken unappreciative, forgetful country of France!
    We should also note that we pay Millions of dollars on RENT for these cemeteries plus the cost of Maintenance, let us remove them (our military dead) and give their land back to them.


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