Why I'm Now Voting Republican

EESCHMan · 09-13-2008, 12:46 AM

I'm voting Republican because being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and
you need our prayers for your recovery.

I'm voting Republican because Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

I'm voting Republican because "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

I'm voting Republican because a woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions
affecting all mankind without regulation.

I'm voting Republican because Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of
homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

I'm voting Republican because the best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

I'm voting Republican because group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

I'm voting Republican because if condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

I'm voting Republican because a good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

I'm voting Republican because HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

I'm voting Republican because providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

I'm voting Republican because global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

I'm voting Republican because Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

I'm voting Republican because a president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

I'm voting Republican because Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

I'm voting Republican because the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

I'm voting Republican because what Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

I'm voting Republican because trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

**Rugger** · 09-13-2008, 01:02 AM

What's the point of this? Most of what you posted is total garbage and should be linked to individuals, not Republicans. I can't expect you to understand that, though.

Fastone · 09-13-2008, 01:27 AM

It's no more garbage than some of the crap posted from the other side imo.

dsade · 09-13-2008, 01:31 AM

Wait...is this...sarcasm?

**DAdams91982** · 09-13-2008, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dsade

Wait...is this...sarcasm?

Not that you would know anything about that.

Adams

Mulletsoldier · 09-13-2008, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Not that you would know anything about that.

Adams

Neither do I; Rugger is an extremely intelligent individual, well versed in the specifics of Politics, Philosophy, and Sociology (especially Socialism).

Very much kidding.

**DAdams91982** · 09-13-2008, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulletsoldier

Neither do I; Rugger is an extremely intelligent individual, well versed in the specifics of Politics, Philosophy, and Sociology (especially Socialism).

Very much kidding.

Sippin hard on that Haterade huh mullet?

Adams

Mulletsoldier · 09-13-2008, 01:59 AM

No, literally completely joking. I was joking with Rugger in another thread, and I asked him if he knew what a joke was.

**DAdams91982** · 09-13-2008, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulletsoldier

No, literally completely joking. I was joking with Rugger in another thread, and I asked him if he knew what a joke was.

Awwww... how cute... mullet and rugger already have their own inside jokes. Whats next, a trip down route 66 that end going over a cliff with the top down?

Adams

**Rugger** · 09-13-2008, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Awwww... how cute... mullet and rugger already have their own inside jokes. Whats next, a trip down route 66 that end going over a cliff with the top down?

Adams

A personalized porno is already in the works for me; entitled Mulletman: 9 more inches than Mullet

Mulletsoldier · 09-13-2008, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Awwww... how cute... mullet and rugger already have their own inside jokes. Whats next, a trip down route 66 that end going over a cliff with the top down?

Adams

Definitely; you can provide the road head! Though, I'm not much of an afterwards snuggler.

Mulletsoldier · 09-13-2008, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rugger

A personalized porno is already in the works for me; entitled Mulletman: 9 more inches than Mullet

See, we're already becoming alike. He's now using my punctuation techniques; though, I have not picked up his animal anal loving techniques as of yet.

**DAdams91982** · 09-13-2008, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mulletsoldier

See, we're already becoming alike. He's now using my punctuation techniques; though, I have not picked up his animal anal loving techniques as of yet.

The wonder twins?

Adams