Listen man, you and most everyone on this board suffers from one degree or another of body dysmorphia... I believe that is the clinical term for what you describe. Yes, it is a problem for myself and hundreds of thousands of other men throughout the country/world. The book the Adonis Complex describes in detail the syndrome. I myself have never been "big" enough or good looking enough, even though admittedly I have a better body than 99% of the people I see on the street. I really don't mean to write the last sentence in a bragging way, it is only to describe my/your sense of self delusion, and honestly hatred. I wish I had 16.5 inch arms and a frame like yours, which looks as if it could put on size very easily. I wish I had the answer but really I am right there with you. My ego and self worth are balanced precariously upon the approval of men and women who see and interact with me throughout the day....it really sucks.
I think that you should tell us more about your personal situation... however, in a completely vain and short term way I agree with your approach to your personal acceptance. Before or while you solve/address any internal problems that are preventing you from accepting yourself, you can at least reflect the best external appearance possible which could illicit more internal changes. I think that it is important for you and I to remember though, that no matter how big we get or how many women we bed, that it will never be enough... seriously. I feel ya man, I really do.