Kinda long so go back if you dont want to read some.
a few years ago i was on the verge of someone with a horriable eating disorder (anorexia) that wasnt something that i wanted so i looked up a little site (bbing.com) i know i know save me the heartache but if you look at my registering date on here youll see that ive been loyal to this site too. But i think (i have to guess because nobody will admit to it) i may be slipping into that category again in my mindset. I know how to eat, TRUST ME i know, but my mind is telling me that im getting fat (im not im about 10% and 195 LBS at 5'7ish,) since ive picked up a weight ive wanted to be HUGE and at times i have packed on the mass like crazy but that little bug in my head says that i need to lose all the excess which is normal but its STRESSFULL as hell to eat to gain for me lately. i wouldnt be bringing this up but just the other day i had my wife sick of the way i have been eating lately,-- which i must say hasnt been Bodybuilder that wants to gain muscle friendly (she knows all about dieting too). she knows my goals and what i need to get into the huge category and it is driving her **** crazy, she even went as far as saying that if i dont eat more then shes going to divorce me and go marry the fattest f'n guy she can find. (not literally but as a figure of speech of course) she is behind me 100% in whatever i do and knows what i am trying to do.
its just that i cannot get over this "fat phobia" **** i have going on in my head.