Hey guys. I've been following posts around here for quite some time and I'm desperate for help and advice. I will try to make this as short as possible.
I am 25 years old and I live in an eastern european country. I suffer from panic disorder with agoraphobia ever since I hit puberty at 14. My "illness" is so devastating, that I can't go around my own town by myself... and recently with anyone else for that matter. I won't go into much details, but I'm about to put the rope around my neck.
There was nothing that triggered it, no childhood trouble, no abuse, no nothing.
There is some family history (my father) of mental illnesses, but im not sure what he had, since i dont even know him...
I was put on SSRI (Lexapro) 10mg and Klonopin 0.25mg when I was 18 and it seemed to work well. My daily anxiety was under control and I managed to go "some" places. It worked well for 5 years, during which I had some alcohol abuse (non-stop parties). I'm a smoker ever since I got my attacks (14 years old).
An year ago, I met this girl and we started dating, until the moment when I got an UTI infection from her and we were put on Ciprofloxacin and Flagyl. That drug combination spun me to hell. Devastating anxiety + panic attacks+blood sugar levels going crazy + what not. My girlfriend at the time got them too, which was really odd, since she never had any history of the "disease". She actually had an attack infront of me and it was weird to watch it from the side.
Anyway, I was doing so bad, that I had bloodwork done 6 months later, because no matter what AD I started, nothing helped. I was stuck at home. I tried 4-5 different Anti-Depressants back then. When they failed, I got back on Lexapro and had my bloodwork. Here are the results:
FT3 6.03 / 3.1-6.8
FT4 14.22 / 12.0-22.0
TSH 1.46 / 0.27-4.20
Prolactin 419.2 / 86-324
Estradiol 181.4 / 28-156
Progesterone 1.79 / 0-5.3
Testosterone 9.64 / 9.0-27.8
DHEA-S 11.14 / 4.34-12.5
Cortisol 1 231.0 ?
Cortisol 2 98.3 ?
I'm not sure which Cortisol is morning and which evening, but here is the refference: 6am-10am 124.2-662.4 ; 4pm-8pm 49.68-179
ACTH 21.080 / 4.7-48.8
4 androstenedione 7.790 / 1.22-11.00
17 alpha OH progesterone 2.887 / 1.52-6
Somatotropic hormone 0.11 / 0.10-5.92
I have never had bloodwork done before.
From what I have researched, SSRI's can heighten Prolactin and lower Testosterone. I dont have much info on benzodiazepines like Klonopin and their effects on hormones.
I'm pretty sure that my issues are hormonal, due to the time when I got my panic disorder (puberty) and because I'm definitely not a "panicking" type of a guy, even now. Also, there just isn't anything wrong with me mentally. SSRI's don't help, therapy doesn't help and I've spent the last year living in hell.
All advice will be VERY welcome.
I am going to get some bloodwork done again, when I get some cash. Should be in a couple of weeks. I think my levels should be better, because I've been going to the gym for the past two months and eating healthy, running too.
Since a child until 18 I was always like a twig, tall and VERY skinny, no muscle mass. After I started the ADs I went up to 110kg. Now I lost some of the weight and I'm back to 87kg. I'm also 188cm tall.
Do you think that my issues can be hormonal ? All the endos here don't believe that hormones can cause panic disorder. What do you think ?
All advices will be very welcome.
Also, ask anything.